Second Time Around (13 page)

‘Am I interrupting? Only you said you were interested in writing that article for me and I’m a bit short on time.’

‘No, please come in, Cal,’ she said, aware of the tremor in her voice. ‘You don’t mind, do you, Louis? This was a prior engagement that I forgot.’ She forced
herself to meet his eyes.

Louis gave a grim smile and nodded. ‘Business is business. Give me a shout if you want to talk about the political piece. I want it by this Friday so time’s ticking.’

What piece? she wondered, hesitating then realising it was probably just a line. ‘I really appreciate it,’ she gushed and put a gentle hand on his arm.

Slightly mollified, he nodded, glared at Cal and left. She immediately closed the door and almost collapsed against it, breathing heavily.

‘Are you okay?’

‘Yeah, thanks. What are you doing here?’ Not that she was complaining: his timing couldn’t have been better. Cal McLoughlin was the first friend Noel had made when they’d
moved up to Dublin. He’d lived round the corner and, although he was six years older, he had taken pity on the obviously devastated young boy and befriended Noel and they’d remained
firm friends ever since. Jess used to have quite a crush on the boy with the floppy, dirty-blond hair and hazel eyes but, sadly, he’d always treated her like a sister.

‘I’ll explain that in a moment but first let’s get you a cuppa. You look like you could do with it. Then you can tell me what the story is with that asshole.’

And, as they sat in her tiny kitchen with mugs of tea, Jess surprised herself by doing exactly that. Cal didn’t interrupt or advise but just nodded encouragement when she faltered, his
eyes soft with kindness and concern. If only her own family were as easy to talk to.

‘I know I was stupid,’ she said, when she’d finished her rather sordid little story. ‘I should have realised he was only after one thing. We never went on a proper date.
He said that he was protecting me, that his staff wouldn’t take me seriously if they knew I was dating the editor.’

‘You weren’t stupid: you were trusting and there are plenty of middle-aged men these days who are, genuinely, separated or divorced.’

‘I wish Mum saw it that way,’ Jess said, still smarting from her mother’s reaction. ‘She hardly talks to me these days and, when she does, it’s usually to make
cheap shots. Even Noel’s annoyed with me. I’m surprised you’re visiting the pariah of the family,’ she joked.

‘I doubt Noel’s mood has anything to do with you.’

‘What do you mean?’

‘I’m worried about him, Jess.’

‘Why?’ Jess was immediately on alert. Cal wasn’t an alarmist and he’d never approached her about her brother before. ‘Is he in some kind of trouble?’

‘I’m not sure but I’ve never seen him so withdrawn. I could understand that when your mum was in hospital, but not now.’

‘The pressure of the exams coming up must be getting to him.’

‘Maybe,’ Cal said, but he didn’t seem convinced.

‘Did you talk to him?’

He gave a lopsided grin. ‘I tried but he blew me off. When you graduate in psychology, friends start to get a little nervous round you, wondering if you’re analysing them all the
time.’

‘I can imagine.’ She smiled, immediately wondering what he thought of
her
.

He met her eyes. ‘Just like you’re doing right now.’

She laughed. ‘Guilty. So, what do you want me to do?’

‘Have a chat. He might open up to you.’

‘If he doesn’t talk to you, he’ll hardly talk to me, especially now that I’m a fallen woman.’

‘Tell him it was a mistake and that you’re upset about falling out with your mum and need his help to patch things up.’

Noel was soft and Jess knew that he would help her if she asked, but she still didn’t think it would mean he’d unburden himself to her. ‘You know him well, Cal. What do you
think is wrong?’

He shrugged and shook his head. ‘I’m not sure but I think it’s related in some way to your mum. If you ask the right questions, you might get to the bottom of what’s
bothering him.’

She looked at him. He was a good friend to them all and his request couldn’t be taken lightly. ‘I’ll talk to him.’

‘Thanks, Jess.’ he smiled.

‘He’s lucky to have such a good friend.’

‘He’s been a good friend to me too,’ he assured her. ‘You all have.’

‘That’s not the way I remember it.’ She smiled at him. ‘Instead of being out having a good time with kids your own age, you were always in our house and you brought Noel
out of himself.’

Cal looked at her. ‘Your house was my refuge. I came over to escape my folks’ rows.’

Jess stared at him. ‘I didn’t know.’

‘But your mum did. She knew that they were using me as a pawn and it was tearing me apart. They didn’t like me spending so much time at your place but Suzie told them how much it was
helping Noel to get over the death of his father so, what could they say? I owe her a lot.’

Jess felt sad as she too remembered how strong and kind her mum had been during those dark, difficult day when Sharon and Noel were so upset. Jess had been almost sixteen and, never having been
particularly close to her dad, had adjusted more easily to their change in circumstances.

Cal stood up. ‘I’ll leave you to it. Promise me you won’t put yourself in a position where you’re alone with that man again.’

Jess sighed. ‘I’ll do my best, but he’s holding my job over my head.’

‘You write for plenty of publications, Jess.’

‘I do, but not the sort of articles I want. Louis gives me topics I can really get my teeth into.’

‘But at a price,’ he pointed out.

‘True,’ Jess said and walked down with him to the door. ‘I’ll give you a call when I’ve talked to Noel.’

‘Great, thanks. And remember: any problems with that guy, call me.’

‘I will,’ Jess promised and smiled as he gave her a quick hug and strode off down the road.

Sharon tensed when she heard the door and, after checking that Bobby was engrossed in his movie, went into the kitchen to take Keith’s dinner out of the oven. She was
leaving it on the table and going back to rejoin her son when Keith walked into the room.

‘Please, Sharon, stop this.’

‘Stop what?’ she asked. He looked sad and tired and she wanted to go to him but she also wanted him to reach out to his son and, until he did, she couldn’t forgive him.

‘The silent treatment.’

She met his eyes. ‘I don’t know what to say. Between you and Mum, I feel as if Bobby and I are always under attack.’

‘Don’t lump me in with your mother,’ he protested.

‘True, she can’t help the way she speaks to me,’ Sharon snapped, ‘but
you
can.’

‘I do try but I get so frustrated that I can’t get through to Bobby.’

‘You won’t get anywhere by shouting at him or sitting on top of him,’ she retorted.

‘I’m sorry about that. Please, Sharon. I can’t stand this atmosphere any more.’

‘Me neither,’ she admitted, tears welling up. Immediately his arms went round her and she snuggled into him. ‘Sometimes I wish Mum had died. Can you believe that, Keith?
Isn’t that a terrible thing to say?’ The tears spilled out onto her cheeks and his shirt. ‘I feel so guilty about feeling that way but I can’t help it. That injury seems to
have knocked all the love out of her. Sometimes I think she hates me and she definitely hates Bobby.’

Keith’s arms tightened round her. ‘Of course she doesn’t. We have to make allowances for her. There are some things she simply doesn’t seem to understand
anymore.’

Sharon couldn’t stop crying. It was as if the floodgates had opened.

‘It will be okay, darling, I promise you.’ He stroked her hair and rocked her as if she were a small child.

‘How?’ she sobbed. There was a roar from the next room and, with a tired sigh, Sharon pulled away.

‘Wait.’ Keith held her firmly and looked into her eyes. ‘We will sort this but we can’t talk here. We need to get away from the house for a few hours and have a proper
chat about Bobby. I’m sure there are options open to us.’

Sharon wasn’t sure she liked the sound of that. Options? What options? She thought of what the teacher had said, what she had withheld from Keith, and shivered.

‘Your mum says she’ll babysit any time we need a break.’

Sharon stared at him, incredulous. ‘My mum? You think I’d leave him with her?’

‘Oh, come on, Sharon, she’s looked after him lots of times and he’s been fine.’

‘I don’t trust her with him, that’s the honest truth.’

‘She would never hurt him.’ Keith’s jaw clenched and he looked at her, his eyes determined. ‘We’re going out and your mother is going to babysit and that’s an
end to it.’

Sharon remained stiff as a board in his arms, her eyes stubborn. ‘Only after Bobby’s asleep.’

He sighed, nodding. ‘Fine, once he’s asleep.’

Sharon couldn’t bring herself to phone her mother to ask for the favour, so Keith did it. Suzie agreed but she still wasn’t happy. After she’d taken Bobby to school the next
morning, she called her sister. Jess picked up straightaway and answered, sounding bright and breezy.

‘Hey, Shaz, how are you feeling?’

‘Fine, thanks. You’re sounding very chirpy this morning.’

‘Yeah, I feel it. I was up at seven working on an article and I’m actually ahead of all my deadlines this week which makes a pleasant change.’

Sharon hadn’t even loaded the washing machine yet and her sister’s cheerful voice made her feel inadequate. ‘Good for you,’ she said, trying to inject some enthusiasm
into her voice. ‘Does that mean you could come over for a coffee and a chat?’ Sharon realised that she was holding her breath.

‘Is everything okay?’

‘Not really,’ Sharon admitted.

‘Put the kettle on. I’m on my way.’

‘Thanks, Jess,’ Sharon said, never more grateful that she had a big sister to turn to. She filled the kettle and set out mugs and biscuits. She was just looking critically at her
tired, anxious face in the mirror when the doorbell rang.

Jess stood there, grinning, holding up a bag. ‘I brought doughnuts.’

Sharon groaned and patted her stomach. ‘I really shouldn’t. I seem to be piling on the weight lately.’

‘Rubbish.’

‘You haven’t seen me trying to get into my jeans.’

Jess followed her into the sunny kitchen and pulled up a chair. ‘So, what’s up?’

Sharon made the tea and sat down. She selected a doughnut and licked some of the sticky sugar coating off before replying. ‘Do you really need to ask?’

‘Mum.’ Jess said.

‘Mum,’ Sharon agreed. ‘She’s getting to you too?’

‘I can’t bear to be around her, to be honest. I always seem to end up angry or upset. And now there’s a bloody dog, too. She says she didn’t remember I was scared of
them, but I wonder.’

‘I don’t visit much either,’ Sharon admitted, relieved that it wasn’t just her. ‘She’s getting more and more critical and the way she talks to Bobby, the
things she says to him, honestly, sometimes I want to slap her.’

Jess nodded in sympathy. ‘Sensitive she isn’t. I time my visits for when she’s not there and leave a message or send a text saying, “Sorry I missed you.” I do check
to see if anything needs doing around the house, but she seems to be coping fine.’

‘She gets tired easily,’ Sharon said.

‘Yes, I’ve noticed that.’

‘What does Noel think?’ Sharon swallowed the last of the doughnut and found herself eyeing another. Where was this appetite coming from?

‘We haven’t really had the chance to discuss it.’

‘So I know what Mum fights with me about, but what’s she doing to upset you? You’ve always been close, I don’t remember you ever rowing.’

Jess gave her a look that was both embarrassed and defensive. ‘Okay, I’ll tell you but don’t give me a hard time.’

Sharon looked at her curiously. ‘Of course I won’t. Why would I?’

‘Mum saw me with a guy—’

‘You’re dating? That’s great, Jess, I’m delighted for you.’ Secretly, Sharon hoped he was an improvement on the others. Jess seemed to go for men who didn’t
treat her very well. Sharon could never understand it. She’d always been a bit jealous of her big sister’s good looks but while Sharon was out having a good time, Jess was studying.
Sharon’s partying had come to a stop, though, when she met Keith and, within weeks had fallen hook, line and sinker for him. Thankfully, he felt the same way. When she’d told him,
anxiously, she was pregnant, he’d been thrilled and immediately asked her to marry him. Bobby had just turned one and she was twenty when they tied the knot. So much for her dream of being
free and having lots of fun! Not that she had any regrets. But it would be nice occasionally to forget that she was a wife and mother and just be Sharon again.

She looked back at her sister, wondering what Jess was so reluctant to talk about. ‘Come on, tell me all about him, and don’t worry if he doesn’t get Mum’s thumbs-up. As
long as you’re happy, to hell with her.’

‘It’s a bit more complicated than that,’ Jess said in a small voice. ‘He’s married.’

Sharon looked at her in dismay. ‘Oh, Jess.’

Jess put up a hand. ‘Don’t.’

‘I’m not going to give you a sermon, I promise. I’m the one who got herself pregnant at eighteen, so I’m hardly in a position to throw stones.’

‘At least Keith was single. I told Mum that I thought Louis was separated, but I don’t think she believes me.’

‘Are you still seeing him?’ Sharon asked, feeling sorry for her sister.

Jess shook her head. ‘No.’

‘Good for you. Did you love him?’

Jess ran her finger through the crumbs on her plate. ‘I’m beginning to wonder,’ she admitted. ‘I thought he cared about me but now I’m not so sure. I may have been
one in a long line of affairs.’

‘Shithead,’ Sharon pronounced. ‘You’re better off without him.’

‘Yeah. The only problem is that it’s Louis Healy, the editor of the
Gazette
and he gives me the meatiest subjects to write about. Still, that will probably
change now. He didn’t take it very well when I finished with him. I’ve discovered that he has a rather nasty side.’