Second Time's the Charm (12 page)

She was probably jumping to conclusions, she knew. In all likelihood, Tori was not after her man. So far, Tori had given her no reason not to be trusted.

No reason other than the fact that she has completely sucked up all of Alyssa's attention,
Natalie mused, aware on some level that she sounded like a brat. She didn't care. She hadn't had a good heart-to-heart with Alyssa in days. That horrible, mean-spirited, spoiled-brat level was all she had right about now.

Natalie spent the rest of the game kicking idly at the grass and hoping no one noticed her complete and total lack of participation. Alyssa sure didn't, so that was one thing. When the game ended, Natalie glumly headed off back to the bunk by herself. She planned on taking a nap and doing a little well-earned wallowing all by her lonesome.

She didn't get far down the path, though, when she heard someone call her name. “Natalie!”

It was a boy someone, she realized. A Simon someone. She paused in her tracks. Did she really want to talk to Simon right now? She knew he liked her, but seeing him talk to Tori like they were BFF made her feel . . . well, it made her feel wretched, wrung out like an old dish towel.

You're being silly
, she told herself.
You have to give him the benefit of the doubt. Get it together, Natalie.

She swallowed hard and turned to face her boyfriend, pasting a bright smile on her face. She hoped it didn't look
too
artificial. “Hi!” she said.

“I didn't get to hang out with you during the game,” Simon said.

I know,
Natalie thought.
That's because you spent the whole time talking to Tori.
She managed to keep that feeling on the inside. But just barely. “Right,” she said.

“It was a bummer,” he said matter-of-factly. Just as easily, he reached down and took her hand. Suddenly they were walking and holding hands. All thoughts of Tori were summarily banished from Natalie's mind.

“Where are we going?” Natalie asked as Simon turned unexpectedly. Now they were headed for the lake, rather than the bunks. Did he think they were going swimming? That would be . . . strange.

“I just thought you might want to be alone for a little while,” Simon said. “You know, just to chill.” Was it Natalie's imagination, or did Simon's voice sound slightly shaky?

After a few more minutes of uncomfortable silence, Simon motioned toward a large, flat rock off to one side of the path. “Let's sit,” he said.

“Okay,” Natalie replied, still wondering why he was being so strange. They sat on the rock, which was cold. Simon continued to hold Natalie's hand, only now his hand was shaky the way his voice had been. And also, kind of sweaty. It was a little bit gross. But a little bit exciting. And also a little bit nerve-wracking.

Simon turned to look at her. He cleared his throat fairly ceremoniously. “Nat, I—” he started.

That's when it hit Natalie, all at once.

Simon wanted to
kiss
her!

There was no doubt in her mind that kissing was what this whole bizarre setup was all about. Why else would he have led her away from where the bunks were, when they were bound to get into trouble any minute now? And why else would he be nervous? Simon
never
got nervous; he was totally unflappable. That was one of the things Natalie adored about him. The shaky voice, the sweaty palms . . . oh yeah, it all added up to kissville.

Yikes.

Nat had never kissed a boy before, other than her father, or when Simon had kissed her on the cheek. For Pete's sake, she was only twelve—well, okay, almost thirteen, but still—this was uncharted territory for her. And she had no idea what to do. Did she
want
to kiss Simon? She wasn't sure. She wasn't even positive she would know what to . . . well, do, with her lips, that is, if she did want to kiss him. It was all very confusing and, unfortunately, happening in fast-forward.

Amid the swirl of emotions racing through her brain, there was only one thing that Natalie could be sure of: She needed time.

It was possible—not probable, but possible, nonetheless—that she was okay with the idea of kissing Simon. But that was just the very basic, bare-bones concept. If she was going to work her way up to actually
doing
it, well, she needed a second opinion.

A second opinion? Wait, no—this was bigger than that. There was only one other opinion that would do.

She needed Alyssa.

“I—uh, you know what?” Natalie asked, rising. “I forgot that . . . um, Andie asked me to be back at the bunk for something—”

“Oh,” Simon said, looking crestfallen. “Are you sure?”

“Yeah, totally sure,” Natalie babbled, backing away so awkwardly that she stumbled and nearly flipped over. “I'm, uh, going to get into trouble if I don't get back.”

“Then you should go,” Simon said, defeated.

“‘Kay,” Natalie said, breathing too quickly. “But I'll see you—”

“Later,” Simon finished.

“Yeah,” Natalie replied.

Then she was off.

“Please be there, please be there, please be there,” Natalie chanted to herself as she raced back to the bunk. Her heart beat thunderously in her chest. Sure, things were tense with Alyssa, but that could be worked through. There were more important things at hand now.

Kissing
things.

She threw open the door of the bunk dramatically, gasping to catch her breath.

“Slow down, speed racer,” Chelsea said, barely looking up from the letter she was writing. Natalie just ignored her. Quickly she glanced at Alyssa's bed: empty. Of course—Alyssa was sitting on Tori's bed. They were playing cards. Well.

All at once, Natalie felt shy about bursting in on their game, interrupting them. But Alyssa would get it, the direness of this scenario. Right?

Natalie quickly crossed the room to where they were playing, before she could lose her nerve. “Lyss,” she began softly, “have you got a minute?”

Alyssa looked up at Natalie, puzzled. “But—I'm playing,” she replied, gesturing rather pragmatically to her hand.

“Yeah, I know,” Nat said apologetically. “But it's important. It's about Simon.”

As soon as the words were out of her mouth, Natalie realized her mistake. Invoking Simon's name was definitely not the way to go. Alyssa immediately bristled, and though she recovered almost as instantaneously, her body went ever-so-slightly rigid. Just rigid enough for Natalie to notice the subtle shift in body language.

“Look,” Alyssa said, “I get that Simon is important to you, but I don't think it's fair of you to spend all of your time with him and then expect me to drop everything when it's convenient for you.” She didn't sound angry, just very reasonable and resigned. Almost alarmingly so. “Just the way I don't interrupt you when you're spending time with Simon, I don't think you should barge in when other people are in the middle of something.” She waved her cards again.

Natalie's jaw dropped open. She wondered what the odds were that an earthquake would come and literally suck her down into the ground, just so she could escape the humiliation of this moment. Alyssa had seriously dressed her down. And the worst part was that she had practically no defense. There was nothing she could say. Her friend, always the practical one, was spot-on, as usual.

“I . . . I'm sorry,” Natalie stammered. “I . . .” she trailed off. “Um, I guess you're right.”

For a split second Alyssa looked almost sorry, and Nat wondered if they would actually talk things through. Then someone—probably Chelsea—snickered, and the moment was broken. Natalie felt tears prickle up in the corners of her eyes. Well, if there was one thing she would not do, it was break down in front of the whole bunk. She turned on her heel and raced out of the bunk. She didn't stop for anything.

Not even Alyssa dashing out of the bunk, calling after her, minutes too late.

chapter
TEN

The days building up to the campout were excruciating for Natalie. She had no idea what to say to Alyssa to make things better between them, so for the most part she just studiously avoided her ex-friend as best as she could without being too conspicuous about it. Though it was painful, it wasn't all that hard, she realized; she had come to adjust to the idea of spending her free choices, siestas, and basically the rest of her free time with Simon. When, exactly, had
that
happened? she wondered. No wonder Alyssa felt so rejected.

The worst time of day was free swim, when she and Alyssa usually went down to the waterfront to gossip and joke with each other. These days, Natalie and Lauren practiced their hairstyling skills on each other, which was fun, but totally not the same. Mia and Andie noticed that something was up, of course—they would have had to be blind not to notice—and they gently inquired, but Nat was noncommittal, not wanting to spill anything that might be construed as badmouthing Alyssa, and after a few attempts, the counselors mostly left her alone.

For his part, Simon barely seemed to notice that anything was up with Natalie. He was deliberately choosing to ignore the fact that she'd freaked out when he'd been about to kiss her, which was fine by Natalie until she sorted that all out in her head. But it was odd, she thought, that he was so oblivious to the Alyssa situation. And here she'd thought he understood her so well! But then again, maybe she was putting on a better show than she realized; she didn't want him to feel bad or involved or responsible for her state of mind.

Or maybe boys were just totally dense when it came to these kinds of things? Maybe he still had his mind on the whole kissville thing? Which, for the record, hadn't come up again. Nat couldn't decide whether or not that was a good thing.

The days dragged on slowly, mirroring Natalie's own less-than-perky pace, but somehow, before she even realized, it was Thursday morning. Very
early
Thursday morning. The girls of 4A—along with the rest of the fourth division—were loading their knapsacks onto the string of yellow school buses idling noisily at the front playing field, where they'd all been dropped off just—had it been?—just shy of two weeks ago.

“Everybody needs a buddy,” Andie was saying a bit wearily. She was usually a ball of caffeine and fire first thing in the morning, but today she looked slightly ragged. Tiny corkscrews poked out of the constraints of her ponytail elastic. Nat had a feeling that being responsible for ten preteens overnight in the great outdoors could be a little nerve-wracking. She made a mental note to be especially nice to Andie for the duration of the trip.

“I'm going to get us a three-seater,” Tori said, popping up like a sugar-rush victim. Unlike Andie, she was
incredibly
perky. Probably nervous, Natalie thought. She'd felt the same exact way this time last summer, when she'd had to go on a campout during the nature elective.

Natalie nodded numbly. She hadn't given any more thought than was absolutely necessary to the logistics of the trip; she, Alyssa, and Tori were still tenting together, as far as she knew. She and Alyssa were in a tragic state of forced, excessive politeness, which did not bode especially well for this trip. But who knew? Maybe they'd be forced to face off against the elements. Maybe they'd have to band together to combat rain, mosquitoes, and poison oak.

“Nat, I grabbed us a seat!”

Or maybe she'd spend the whole time with her boyfriend.

Alyssa looked off at an imaginary point in the distance. “I should . . . go help Mia with the sleeping bags.” She wandered away, not meeting Natalie's gaze.

Now it was just Tori and Natalie. “You should . . . sit with him. If you want,” Tori said quickly, shrugging. She looked guilty. But guilty for what? For crushing on Nat's guy? For stealing Nat's best friend? For being caught in the middle of not one but two triangles, even though she was, for all intents and purposes, a perfectly nice girl?

“Yeah,” Natalie replied, feeling half relieved and half panicked. This solution caused almost as many problems as it resolved. But whatever. Her head hurt. She was taking the easy way out. She looked back up at the bus, where Simon was peeking out the window at her.

“Coming,” she called, and jogged off to take her seat.