Secret Mayhem (18 page)

“
What
did you know?
”
Gaige asked.

“
I
did it,
”
Shay said.
“
I put that scar on his neck.
”

“
What
the hell
…
,
”
Nate said.

Shay drank more whiskey. His heart
and body was raging with guilt and anger and pain.

“
I
slit his throat,
”
Shay
said.
“
But not good enough.
Because I looked into his eyes and I hesitated. I couldn
’
t end his life when I had the chance. If I had,
none of this would be happening. We
’
d
be out there, drinking, fucking, and living.
”

“
So
that's why he is after you?" Gaige asked.
“
That
’
s okay, Shay. We aren't going to
let some old enemy hurt one of our brothers."

“
He
’
s not just some old enemy,
”
Shay said.
“
Caius is my brother.
”

“
Your
brother?
”
Miller asked.

Shay nodded.
“
I know I should have told you all.
But I didn't want to be pulled off the search for him. I need this kill. I had
the chance to kill him and I couldn
’
t
do it. And now he found me and is out for revenge."

“
Revenge,
”
Blaine said, scoffing.
“
He's killed innocent people. The
prospect. And almost took one of our own.
”

“
My
fucking face,
”
Erik said.
He slowly rose.
“
You should
have been in that car. Then it would have been over.
”

“
Erik,
sit down,
”
Miller said.

“
No!
”
Erik snapped. He started to
walk around the table. Anyone who reached for him was smacked away.
“
No. You drove the car right into
the compound. With a bomb in it. And you knew, somewhere in the back of your
fucking mind, that your brother, that Caius, was out there. Lurking. Waiting.
And then
…
boom!
”

Shay looked forward at the whiskey
bottle. Erik was right next to him now. Shay knew he deserved whatever was
going to happen. He shouldn
’
t
have kept a secret from his club. That
’
s
not how a MC is supposed to function. A club is only as strong as its members,
and secrets can destroy it.

“
I
’
m sorry,
”
Shay said.
“
But
it
’
s my brother out there.
I
’
m still coming to terms
with it
…
and I want him
dead
…”

“
We
all want him dead,
”
Miller
said.
“
We can
’
t lose our focus here.
”

“
I
’
m not losing my focus,
”
Erik said and laughed.
“
If I can
’
t get my hands on the man who did this, then why
not his fucking brother?
”

Everyone seemed to jump up at once.
But it was too late. Erik threw a fist that felt like a boulder hitting Shay
’
s face. The punch would have
hurt on its own, but with fresh wounds from the fight with Nile, it was a whole
other world of pain.

Shay fell from his chair to the
floor. Erik was right there, on top of him. Erik grabbed his shirt so hard that
he tore it. He came down with as many punches as he could before Nate and
Griffin were able to pull him off Shay.

“
Fuck
you, man,
”
Erik yelled.
“
Fuck you for what you
’
ve done. All this
…”

“
Stop!
”
Miller yelled. He pointed to
Erik.
“
You take a goddamn
breath.
”
He pointed to
Shay.
“
Get him the hell up.
”

Nate helped Shay to his feet. Shay
tasted fresh blood and he felt tired and beat up. Literally.

“
Why
hold back?
”
Miller asked.

“
He
’
s my brother, Miller, but he
’
s not my family. I didn
’
t want to be excluded from this.
And I don
’
t know much about
him. I swear.
”

“
But
you knew he was your brother. You have a history together. You could have
provided some sort of insight into who we were looking for. But you said
nothing.
”

“
I
’
m sorry,
”
Shay said.
“
I
promise you, Miller. We
’
ll
find Caius and kill him.
”

“
That
I know,
”
Miller said.
“
Because Back Down Devil won't be
taken down on my watch. Meeting is over. I want everyone to get out of here.
Tomorrow we are going to meet with the leaders of Eight Under. There will be no
violence. Is that fucking understood?
”

“
Yes,
”
the group said.

“
Then
we will meet with Strokner and we will find Caius and kill him. I don
’
t care if he
’
s in a suit and tie. I don
’
t care if he rolls a fucking
dealership into us and car after car blows up. We are not backing down from
this.
”

“
That
’
s why,
”
Shay said.
“
That
’
s why, Miller. I need to be there.
I can help. I can lure
…”

Miller placed a hand on Shay
’
s shoulder where his ripped
shirt exposed his skin.
“
It
’
s time for you to stop talking,
Shay.
”

Shay sucked in a breath and one of
Miller
’
s large fists hit
him in the gut. It knocked the wind out of him and brought him to his knees.

Shay looked up at Miller and Miller
shook his head.

Nothing was worse than the feeling
of being alone.  His own brother was out to kill him, and now he had betrayed
the only family he could count on to protect him. The club was his life, but
the look on Miller's face indicated that his time with them may be up. He
slowly rose to his feet, kept his head down, and hurried to his room. At least
he still had Ava.

eighteen.

Waiting for Shay gave Ava the same
anxiety she had when she used to look through the information about her father
in the small room hoping one of the Lost Men wouldn
’
t bust in. Ava sat on the bed and waited for Shay.
She couldn
’
t stop picturing
the explosion. Jon was alive one second, fulfilling his duty of protecting her,
and the next second he was dead, all because he was trying to show Shay his
appreciation. It felt so wrong and unfair. But as terrible as it probably was
to think, she couldn't help but be thankful that it wasn't herself and Shay on
that bike when it blew up.

Jon died for the club. Which was
more than anyone could say about Nile. He died a sick death, but he deserved
to. No longer would he threaten Ava's life and make her live in fear. Shay and
Trev made sure of that.

The door to the bedroom opened and
Shay came stumbling in. He was drunk and bloody. It was fresh blood too. Not
just from the fights. He had been hit again.

Ava jumped up.
“
Shay, what happened?
”

“
Took
my punishment,
”
he said.
“
The person doing all this, Ava,
is my brother. That
’
s my
secret. You wanted to know why I was hiding, like you? That
’
s why. Caius is my fucking
brother. He
’
s been hurting
people his entire life. And now he
’
s
coming after me by hurting the club.
”

Ava rushed to Shay and took him by
the hands.
“
Shay, I
’
m so sorry. You could have told
me."

“
Don
’
t talk to me about it,
”
Shay said. He broke away from
Ava and moved her out of the way. He tore off his leather cut and literally
ripped his already torn shirt from his body.
“
You
don
’
t understand a fucking
thing. You
’
re just some
woman passing through here. You need protection so you open your fucking legs.
”

Ava gasped.
“
That
’
s
not
…”

Shay looked back.
“
My club is against me now. They
have the right to be. I want to kill Caius. I had the chance before and couldn
’
t do it.
”

“
You
will,
”
Ava said.
“
Just look at tonight. What
happened was tragic, but it wasn
’
t
you. You could have been on that motorcycle.
”

She touched Shay
’
s shoulder and bit her lip. Shay
shook her away.

“
Fuck
that. I wouldn
’
t have been
so stupid.
”

“
Jon
was stupid?
”
Ava asked.

“
Are
you fucking kidding me? The motorcycle was moved somewhere else. What did you
expect to happen? Caius wasn
’
t
trying to kill me. He was just proving a point. He wanted us to know he could
be anywhere, anytime. If he wanted me dead, I
’
d
be dead. That was Jon
’
s
fault for being a fucking moron. For not understanding his surroundings. For
getting lost in the moment. So worried about his leather cut and getting a
goddamn patch. It doesn
’
t
fucking matter.
”
Shay spun
around and grabbed Ava by her shoulders. The look on his face scared the hell
out of her.
“
You hear me?
It doesn
’
t fucking matter.
I
’
ve protected you, Ava.
But I
’
ve let down my
brothers out there. And now I
’
m
going to kill my own flesh and blood, my only brother. That
’
s what my future looks like, if
you care to know it. So when you find out about your husband, you need to get
ready to go. I
’
m sorry. I
won
’
t let anyone else down.
And I won
’
t have anymore
blood or death on my hands.
”

Shay turned and went to the
bathroom. The door slammed and Ava couldn't move. She
’
d never seen a man so emotionally broken before.
And yet she wanted to be to closer to him. She wanted to protect him. Help him.
But she had no idea how to do that.

Ava listened for the water to turn
on before she walked to the door. Slowly, she opened it. It was just like the
first time she snuck into the shower with him. The first time her small hand
gripped his long, hard shaft. Ava studied Shay
’
s
silhouette and noticed that he was hunched over, head hanging down.

After stripping herself, Ava walked
to the shower and stepped inside. The warm steam made her shiver. This time,
instead of being seductive, she clawed his shoulder and pulled.
“
Turn around and look at me.
”

Shay listened. Water rushed down
his beautiful face and blood still seeped from his wounds. He was beat up.
Physically, mentally, and emotionally. His eyes looked defeated.

Ava grabbed his face with both
hands and just held him. Her lips trembled as she tried to find words.

“
I
wanted to kill my husband,
”
she whispered.
“
I wanted to
do it so bad. I had the chance every time he would get piss drunk and pass out
after he forced me to do things. But I couldn't do it. No matter how much I
hated him and wanted him dead, he was still my husband. My family. I just couldn't
bring myself to do it."

“
I
have to do it,
”
Shay said.
“
I owe it to the club. I owe them
my life, and I'll gladly die for them."

Ava
’
s
lips continued to tremble. She wiped her thumb under Shay
’
s left eye, wiping blood away.

“
I
would die for you, Shay,
”
Ava said.
“
Because of what
you
’
ve done for me.
”

Shay shook his head.
“
No, love. That
’
s not going to happen. You need
to stay safe until this blows over. And if I die, you run. Understand?
”

“
I
’
m not thinking about that,
”
Ava said.
“
You told me not to think about
the past or the future. You told me to live in this moment and the present. You
gave a speech about time to a man who was killed seconds later.
”

Shay blinked fast and his lip
curled.
“
I know that.
”

“
So
I
’
m here, Shay,
”
Ava said. She came forward a
little more. She took her left hand from Shay
’
s
face. She ran her hand down his chest and stomach until she curled her fingers
around his cock.
“
This is
the present. This is the moment. So live it. Take me, Shay. Fuck me.
”

Shay flickered a quick smile and
then kissed Ava.

With hell all around them, Shay
thrusting inside her and kissing her was all the heaven Ava needed.