Secret of Betrayal: Book Two of The Destroyer Trilogy (38 page)

I just stare at him. He isn’t trying to frighten
me. I tapped my Perception at the beginning of this conversation and made it
work extra hard during what he just told me. Talents are meant to do
good
, to make the world a better place. The more I learn
about them, the more I realize what a fantasy that is. There is never any speck
of good that can’t be twisted into something evil. I let what Braden has just
told me sink down into my bones.

“Do you understand, now?” Braden asks quietly.

“Yes.”

He sighs. “Good. Promise me you won’t come after
me.”

Pressing my hands on either side of his face, I
look into his eyes, and say, “No.”

His eyes widen and he pushes my hands away from
him. “What? Didn’t you just hear what I said?” he demands.

“Yes, I did, and I refuse to abandon you to
that, Braden. I won’t do it, so stop asking.”

“I. Will. Hurt.
You.”

I jam my finger against his chest. “No, you
won’t.”

“It won’t matter how much I love you! I won’t be
able to stop myself. You have to promise me right now that you’ll forget about
me if I’m taken.”

“No.”

His right hand slides his Guardian blade out of
its sheath. I don’t even flinch. “Then let me give you my Oath. They can’t
force one on me if I’ve already given my Oath to someone else.”

Panic knocks me back a step. I shy away from the
dagger and wrap my arms around my body. I can’t. I’m not ready for that. I know
I’m falling for Braden, but I refuse to give up on Milo yet. I’ve been a
terrible girlfriend lately, with all the secrets I’ve been keeping from him and
the fact that I can’t stay away from Braden. But I don’t want to let him go. I
love him, and I know he still loves me. If I can just make it through rescuing
the Ciphers I’m sure I’ll be able to turn away from Braden, and Milo and I will
work things out. I can’t let go of what I have with Milo.

“Libby?” Braden asks. “Which will it be? Either
promise
me you won’t come after me, or let me give you my
Oath. It has to be one or the other.”

Him or Milo.
That’s
essentially what he’s asking me to choose between. Take Braden’s Oath and let
it override what I feel for Milo, or close myself off from Braden and refuse to
care about what happens to him. My body is rigid with indecision. I can’t make
that kind of choice.

I reach out for Braden’s blade and take it from
his fingers. He doesn’t resist as I slip it back into its sheath, but I can
feel the despair dropping off of him like beads of sweat. My hands linger on
his arm after replacing the blade. “I won’t promise to abandon you, but if you
honestly feel threatened by the Guardians you can give me your Oath.
Then and only then.
I can’t take your Oath yet. I’m not
ready, Braden.”

His despair lessens as he pulls me against his
chest. “Do you really not love me, Libby?”

That’s not the problem. I … care about Braden, a
lot, but I already know I love Milo. He has been everything to me since my
Inquest. The last few months have kept us apart more than I would have liked
because of the situation we’re in, but a little distance in our relationship
isn’t enough to make me give up on him.

He’s so dedicated to what we’re doing that it
pulls him away from me sometimes. We have to get through this mission and
everything will be better. I can’t believe that Milo’s love for me won’t
survive the battle we’re fighting. There is no way I can give up on Braden,
either. I don’t know for sure if what I feel for him is real enough to justify
pursuing it. Being his Companion makes everything so much more complicated. How
can I tell how much I really care about him, and how much is out of proportion
because of our link to each other? I have to know for sure.

“I just need a little more time, Braden.”

It’s the best I can offer. As he pulls me in
tighter, I huddle against him knowing time is quickly running out.

Chapter 2
9

Swallowed Up

Real concern for my safety, as opposed to simply
trying to spend as much time as possible with me, makes it impossible to
convince Braden to stay home when I head back to my new house in time to meet
Milo. I do everything I can to force him to leave before Milo actually shows
up, but I can’t manage that either. I’ve resorted to begging by the time the
doorbell peels through the house. I have my hands wrapped around Braden’s
shirt, trying to force him to at least hide in the garage when we hear it. I
freeze, at a total loss about what I should do. Braden takes advantage,
breaking my grip on him and beating me to the door.

As soon as he opens it, the guy who was arguing
with me vanishes, and the infallibly professional version of him that usually
shows up in Milo’s presence reappears. “Milo,” Braden says, nodding to him.
“You’ll be glad to know no one made any attempts on Libby while you were gone.
Everything has been quiet for once.”

It’s not exactly a lie. No one made an attempt
on my life, but things certainly weren’t as quiet as they could have been.

Milo looks past Braden to me. “No problems?”

“No,” I say, “not at all.” Now that is a lie. I
cringe inwardly at the necessity for it.

Milo walks in and immediately pulls me into a
hug. “I missed you.”

I feel as if I’m strangling him with my hug back,
but I’m so glad to see him. I’m glad to have a reason to get Braden out of my
house as well. “I missed you, too.”

“Well, I will be heading out then,” Braden says,
and I pray Milo doesn’t catch the slight irritation in his voice.

“Yeah, thanks for watching out for Libby,” Milo
says grudgingly. Braden walks out, closing the door behind him. In Milo’s mind
Braden has become nonexistent. I wish I were so lucky. Braden’s second car—a
plain sedan Captain Blackwood doesn’t know about—is currently hidden in my
garage. He isn’t going anywhere. I have a little trouble staying focused
knowing that. Milo has to kiss me to catch my attention.

“What, Lance wouldn’t hang out with you?” Milo
asks.

“Um, sure he would,” I stumble, “but he was
doing stuff with his brother and I didn’t want to intrude. You said either one
was fine.”

“I know, but if I have to choose between your
ex-boyfriend and a Guardian, I will always choose Lance.”

I smile. “Lance would appreciate hearing that,
I’m sure.”

“Do me a favor and don’t tell him,” Milo says
jokingly, but a little serious, too.

“So, how was your trip?” I ask.

Milo’s entire countenance brightens. “It was
awesome. I wish you had come. Marc is amazing. I could have stayed a week with
him. He has so much more he can teach us about Concealment. Look!”

Stepping away from me, Milo taps his
Concealment. I watch as he gathers it between his hands then releases it
slowly, forcing it to fan out around him. As his power spreads, his image
begins to waiver. Concentration shows in every inch of his face. Gently, he
guides the power around his entire body and pulls it in like a second skin. The
moment his power seals itself around him, Milo disappears.

Well, maybe disappears isn’t the right word. If
I concentrate and try to see him, I can. But if I let my attention wander for
even a second, I find I have a hard time remembering where he was. He seems
like a shadow I shouldn’t bother noticing. I admit that I’m impressed. I have
tried to make the same shield on my own. My results weren’t so stable, and my
technique was vastly different, but I was working toward something similar. Now
I won’t have to spend any more of my time trying to figure out how to make it
better. This new technique will undoubtedly fill in the gaps. Milo’s enthusiasm
for the new skill makes me smile even more.

When the shield begins to flicker, Milo tosses
it away. He’s grinning when he reappears. “Isn’t that crazy? I learned a ton
from Marc. I wish you had been there.”

“I … I wish I had, too,” I say quietly. Maybe it
wouldn’t have been so bad watching Milo train, and it would have meant no trip
to the Bosque or pictures being taken. My guilty hands tremble at the memories
and I tuck them away. Milo walks over and holds me.

“Do you really wish you would have come?”

“I wish I could have been with you this weekend.
Aside from seeing my
dad, that
was all I wanted. But
at least we’re together now.”

Milo pulls me in tighter. “How was visiting your
dad’s grave?”

“It was good. I really needed to talk to him,
and I felt a lot better after I did. It may sound silly, but even though he
can’t hear me it makes me happy to be there. After he died, living with my mom
became so intolerable it wasn’t even a place where I could remember him. The
fights and anger that filled the house only pushed me away. Visiting the
cemetery is so peaceful that it lets me remember him how he really was.”

I lay my head against Milo’s chest and let the
peace of this moment seep into me. The quiet and calm of the nearly empty house
reassures me that nothing between us is broken as I had feared.

“Libby,” Milo says, “I’m sorry I didn’t get how
important seeing your dad was before. I wasn’t thinking about your feelings, I
guess. I had something I wanted and I couldn’t let go of it.”

“I think we both had that problem. I’m sorry,
too.”

A few more minutes pass before we decide to stop
standing in the middle of the living room and lie down to watch a movie
together. The DVD is in a few minutes later, and Milo lies next to me on the
couch, cradling me in his arms. Images dance across the screen. I can’t even
remember a few minutes later what movie we’re watching. I am intent on
memorizing every second of my time with Milo. The movie was only a reason to
curl up with him. The bulk of his arm draped across me draws itself in my mind,
preserved. The way his legs tangled up with mine makes me smile. Even when I
realize Milo isn’t watching the movie, either, because he’s fallen asleep, I
watch the way his chest rises and falls with each breath.

Every facet of this moment, I store away for
later when I might need it. I do this because I know I will need the memories.
Every time I’m around Braden, now, I feel the need to buffer my desire for him
with thoughts of Milo. There were too many times today I felt Milo slipping to
the back of my mind as Braden filled my thoughts. If I don’t take moments like
this and file them away, I’m scared I’ll run out and crumble.

In just a few days we will be putting our lives
on the line to rescue the Ciphers. We’ll be doing so with a very real chance
that we’ll lose. I should be drowning in the details of such a massive plan.
Instead, all I can think about is whose arms I want around me the most at the
end of a long day. How can this be the most important thing on my mind right
now? Not dying or getting anyone else killed should be my main concern. Maybe
it’s just that I’ve been worrying about my death for so long that I find it an
easy thing to ignore at this point. That’s really not normal.

Milo’s eyes roll open suddenly, some bit of
music from the TV or sound from the house waking him. He looks at me
apologetically. “I fell asleep, didn’t I? I’m sorry, Libby.”

I smile and kiss his lips gently. “It’s okay.
You’re probably exhausted with all the flying and training over the last few
days.”

“Sorry, but if I don’t go home now, I probably
won’t go home at all. And as tempting as that sounds, I don’t think me
oversleeping in the morning and getting us both in trouble will be very
helpful. The last thing we need right now is detention on our first day back at
school.”

He pushes himself up off the couch and rubs his
eyes. When he stands and offers me his hand to get up, part of me wants to pull
him back down. An image of Braden waiting outside my house all night flashes
through my mind to stall me. Milo pulls me up before I can decide and I follow
him to the door. He pulls the door open slowly. Maybe he doesn’t want to go.

I throw my arms around him, but keep myself from
asking. He looks so tired.

“Hey,” he says, “are you sure you’re doing all
right?”

“Yeah, I guess,” I say.

“Are you still upset at me for leaving?” He
frowns, but there isn’t any anger in it. “I know the Ciphers are taking over
all of our lives, but you know I’m just as concerned about you as I am them.”

Is he? Rather than voice my recurring worries, I
say, “It isn’t that.”

It is in part, but it’s so much more than that,
too.

“Then what?” he asks.

I can’t explain everything to him without
telling too much, but I try my best. “I think everything is just finally
starting to sink in for me.”

Milo rubs his hands along my back in an effort
to comfort me. “Everything is going to be fine. We’ll get the Ciphers out. It’s
a good plan.”

“But what about after, Milo?”

He frowns and his hands stop moving. “What do
you mean?”

“The Guardians are going to retaliate. Things
are only going to get worse.”

“It won’t last forever. We’ll fight as long as
we have to so we can make sure the ones behind what’s going on can’t hurt
people anymore. Eventually it will be over. Destroying the Guardians, righting
all the wrongs they’ve done, that’s more important than anything else right
now. This situation is so much bigger than us. I know you want more from me,
but are the two of us really more important than saving the entire world? We
can do so much good. We can set everything right. We can’t stop until the
Guardians are all gone.”

My frustrated sigh seems to confuse him. “How
long is that going to take? How long do I have to wait before I get to have a
regular life? I don’t want to spend the rest of my life waiting for the right
time to be with the person I love.” Regardless of the fact that I have made a
mess of my love life, will the day ever come when I sit down with someone and
simply enjoy the moment without an impending fight or catastrophe hiding in the
back of my mind?