Secret Regrets (Living For Today #2) (8 page)

Once inside, I shut my door and pointed to my desk so Bryant could set the box down. Looking at him a moment, I could see Bryant’s eyebrows scrunched together as he chewed on his cheek. Something was on his mind.

“What’s up?” I asked.

Blinking a few times, apparently realizing he’d spaced out, Bryant looked back to me. “Do you work with Ian a lot?”

“Kind of. He is the
head
teacher. I am his responsibility, especially being in my first year.” God, I prayed we weren’t jumping on the jealousy train.

“Hmm,” Bryant grunted, still looking very deep in thought.

“Hmmm? What’s up, Bryant?” I probed.

“Stay away from him as much as possible. I don’t want him near you,” Bryant said sternly.

“Hun, he is a colleague — and my supervisor. I’m not sure how much avoiding is possible, but he has been nothing but professional with me.”

“I’m sure. But something about him has me on edge, and Leslie mentioned him to me as well. I feel like I’ve seen him, or I know him. Something. Just… be careful. What happened that you fell today?”

“I tripped, probably from trying to carry that box and walk. You know me, two left feet,” I tried nonchalantly.

“Right outside his classroom?” Bryant looked skeptical. “If you were being hurt, you’d tell me, right?”

“Bryant!” I exclaimed, exasperated. “I tripped. I was being nosey and slowed my step and tripped like an idiot.”

“What were you eavesdropping on?” Bryant interrogated.

Of course that is what he picked up on in the sentence. Goodness me!

“He was weird in the parking lot, then when I walked by, he was yelling at someone on a phone about money and owing them or something. I don’t know. You know me, though. I just can’t help it,” I quickly blurted, plopping myself into my squishy desk chair.

Bryant didn’t instantly reply, instead choosing to scan my classroom that still looked pretty barren, despite my best intentions. The new teacher meetings and paperwork had been horrendous, not leaving me much time to really prep.

“Well, this looks like a classroom from that movie, you know, with the magical kid. Had that really mean principal in it...” Bryant said, tapping his finger on his chin as he thought.

“‘Matilda,’” I answered, not wanting him to kill the hamster running for dear life up there in that thick skull of his. “Yes, I know. It’s been a bit hectic setting up. I’ll probably stay late today and tomorrow to get things squared away so I’m ready come Wednesday when school starts.”

Looking the direction of Ian’s classroom, Bryant chewed on the inside of his cheek again before facing me again with a smile.

“How about I operate the cutter thing and punch out all the fun shapes and letters, and you boss me around!”

That was an offer I couldn’t refuse. With a nod and a smile Bryant got to work.

CHAPTER TWELVE

T
HE NEXT MORNING
I
WOKE TO
my phone buzzing non-stop beside my head. Trying to snooze the alarm, I realized I had instead answered a call when I suddenly heard a gruff, “Rose?” come from the speaker. Shifting in bed, I noticed Bryant was already up and out, probably on his morning run.

I snatched the phone up and put it to my ear. “Hello?” I asked, noting the blocked number.

Breathing came through, setting me on edge and making the hairs on the nape of my neck stand on end.

“Look, I don’t know who this is or what you want, but stop!” I screamed into the phone, desperation and fear in my voice.

I heard some shuffling on the other end as the caller shifted the phone.

“I’m hanging up now, and, Darren, if that’s you, I have already alerted the police of your return,” I spoke with all the determination I could muster. He didn’t need to know I hadn’t gone.

“Rose?” Jordan’s voice came through on the line loud and clear. Questioning me and startling me all at once.

Crap
.

“Jordan?” my voice wavered.
Crap. Crap. Crap!

“Darren is back? I’m going to my Command. I’ll be there later today. That fucker will not come near you.” Anger and rage laced his voice. Jordan disconnected the call before I could do anything to stop his forward momentum.

“Crap!” I finally screamed out loud.

I pressed to call Leslie then disconnected just as fast.
She’s on her honeymoon.
I
can
handle this.

My alarm on my phone went off, the buzzer blaring from the speakers as I held it tightly in my hand. The day was just off to a phenomenal start.

I padded to the bathroom to warm up the shower as I undressed. I reached in to test the temperature real quick and found it was perfect. Sliding underneath the steaming hot water, I ran my hands over my hair and soaked it through. I allowed my eyes to close a moment as I thought through the recent events. There wasn’t a doubt that Darren had been at the bachelorette party, despite my outward denial to Leslie. But the recent calls… each had an explanation. The school… Jordan. Was my paranoia taking over? How close had Darren gotten? How much did he know about me?

He knew about Bryant but hadn’t attempted to contact him. He knew about Angelica. He knew too much already. Darren was too close.

Warm hands encased my hips, and I felt two plump lips caressed my neck. An ear-piercing scream erupted from my throat as I flipped around and punched the first thing my fist could connect with.
Ouph!
Bryant slumped against the back tile wall. His face winced as he cupped his abdomen.

“Jesus, Rose! What the hell?” he asked.

“Oh, Bryant, oh shoot. You scared me. I didn’t even hear you come in.”

“Rose, that’s the second time you were startled in your own home. This is insane. Talk to me,” he pleaded. Releasing his stomach, Bryant reached out and put his hands on my shoulders.

“It’s just…” I hesitated, angel and devil on my shoulders, a million and one reasons for each case running through my head. I was done, and now with Jordan donning a superhero cape and flying down, this was about to get complicated.

“Let me call work and tell them I’m running late. Do you have time?” I asked.

Bryant replied, “Of course. For you, always babe.”

Nodding back, because really what else could I do at this point? Stepping out of the shower, I wrapped a fluffy towel around my body. I picked up my phone and started to call Becky to give her a heads up I’d be late.

“Hey, hun. I’m going to brew a fresh pot of coffee. Meet me down there when you are done?” Bryant asked, waiting for my reply before he left.

I nodded again, my stomach in a knot. I felt like I might hurl.

After speaking with Becky, I quickly threw on some clothes that were suitable for work and went down to the kitchen.

“Hey, perfect timing,” Bryant greeted, attempting to sound cheerful as he handed me a steaming mug of coffee. Taking a seat at our wooden dining room table, I held the mug between both hands and breathed in the aroma of the coffee beans and hazelnut creamer.

“It’s bad, isn’t it?” Bryant questioned. The smile had vanished, and concern etched his face.

“It’s old news,” I began, pausing to blow on my coffee and take a sip.

My eyes met Bryant’s gaze, and he looked at me with a raised eyebrow as if to say,
“It may be old news, but we are dealing with it now.”

“Does it have to do with Jordan?” he asked.

“No. I mean kind of, but only because he knows, but I didn’t want to tell him — he just kind of found out — my mom started running her mouth, and you know how she gets — she just gets going and won’t shut up — so he heard a part, so I told him the rest, because he knew, because of my mom,” I rambled, not even stopping to breathe.

“Whoa! I’m not even sure what you just said, and I’m still not sure if it has to do with Jordan.” Bryant put his hands up in the air like he was warding off an attack. “Start at the beginning, how about that. Deep breaths… remember to breathe. You’re looking a little blue.”

Pulling in a deep breath of air, I filled my lungs, feeling my chest expand. Then slowly, I blew it back out through pursed lips.

“Okay. So I dated a guy when I was in high school. He was older than me — Darren.”

“Wait! Darren Parker?” Bryant asked.

“Yes.” I nodded, waiting for further information, but he supplied none. “Why?”

“His older brother— Oh, man!” Bryant paused, shaking his head. “That’s how I know that son of a bitch! Darren’s older brother, Ethan. He was in my fraternity. Ian hung out with Ethan and Darren. He was a douche, and Ethan and I would try to ditch them, but never could.”

My jaw went slack. Ian and Darren, Darren and Ian.
“Dude,
her friends are going to come looking real soon.
Let’s go!”
the voice behind me at the club had said. The voice I was pretty sure had been Ian’s voice. I was now positive.

“Rose— what? What’s wrong?” Bryant asked in a panic.

“Darren was my boyfriend. He took me to his prom. He raped me.” I forced it out, unable to even go into detail as my brain tried to wrap around the new information.

Looking back up to Bryant, I could see the firm hold in his jaw where he was grinding his teeth together. His eyes were black like the devil’s rage and anger burning through. “Bryant,” I said reaching over to touch his hand.

Shaking his head, he came back to me as his eyes filled with the reaction I hated most. Pity.

“Rose, I’m so sorry. I knew he went away to school because of some trouble with a local girl. We assumed he got her knocked up cause he was always bragging about his conquests.” Bryant gave his head another shake, looking like he was putting the puzzle together in his own mind. “What happened? Can you tell me? I mean... do you want to talk about it? Why wasn’t he arrested?” I could see the questions pop in his head as quickly as he asked them.

I held my hand up in defense to make him just stop for a moment. Apparently reading me perfectly, he went mute.

Thank heavens
!

“We had both been drinking a bit, he more than I. He got too handsy, and I just wasn’t ready, but he wasn’t having it. Said I had teased long enough, and he was taking. I tried to get away, but he tackled me on the stairs and forced himself on me. I was shocked. I was scared. He made me doubt even myself, so I didn’t immediately go to the police. By the time I got there, he had already been there and told them that I’d changed my mind on losing my virginity and was regretting it. Said I’d be claiming rape. His dad added in some money, and his ass was covered. The police said it was his word against mine, but they’d make a note, and then closed up the case.”

Bryant stared blankly at me, tears welling in his eyes. He started to speak, but I placed my fingers over his mouth to stop him. Unfortunately, I had just begun to purge my demons, and there were many more to come.

CHAPTER THIRTEEN

“
Y
OU ARE MOST DEFINITELY NOT GOING
back to that school!” Bryant was furious, and while I understood his need to be protective, I wasn’t letting this run my life.

“Bryant, it’s the first day of school. It’s my job. I love it there, and we don’t even know Ian’s involvement in it all. He wasn’t there the night Darren attacked me.”

Bryant raised an eyebrow.

“Okay, well, that night — yeah, I think he was, but I mean the night Darren, well, you know. Stop being difficult!” I huffed.

“Rose, love…” Bryant stepped in closer, pulling me into his warm embrace and placing a chaste kiss on the tip of my nose. “You are not going.”

My stomach churned at what I was about to do. I knew it would finish the issue, but I knew it would sting. I just wanted Bryant to see reason. “Bryant.
Love.
I am going. I have filed the paperwork with the superintendent regarding Ian. We have filed police reports. I will be fine. Don’t stop me from following my dreams — again.” I cringed as I finished that and tucked my head into his chest.

Bryant’s entire body tensed up. He obviously knew I was bringing up FSU. Bringing up our breakup and everything that tied with it… Angelica… years apart.

“Well, I’m coming by to visit, unexpectedly. Ian better not be there, or I swear—” Bryant stopped as his hands clenched behind my back, and every muscle in his body rippled with unspent energy.

“He won’t be there. He is on suspension, pending investigation.” I didn’t want to tell him that Becky had heard the preliminary investigating they’d done yesterday wasn’t turning up much, and that he might be back soon since they had no real grounds to keep him suspended. Secrets — so many damn secrets that I regretted keeping!

My phone rang from my purse, breaking our contact and sending me toward the kitchen. Digging through my purse, I found it just as the ring concluded, and I silenced it for work.

Missed Call. Jordan.

He was flying in today, and I could feel myself in a precarious position as the battle of men was nearing.

“Who was that?” Bryant called as he fixed his thermos of coffee.

“Huh? Oh um, Becky. Probably seeing if I am escaping the dungeon and coming in today. It is the kids’ first day,” I lied as I silenced my phone.

Grabbing my bag, I moved to give Bryant a quick kiss goodbye just as my phone vibrated in my bag. “I love you. I’ll see you this evening.”

Once on the road, I pulled out my phone and called Jordan back before he alerted the Marines — or the Navy SEALS. I supposed a Navy guy would call in his people first?

“Rose, you there?” Jordan’s voice called through my car speakers.

“Huh, oh, hey. Yes I’m here. Sorry. I was thinking about something. Didn’t realize I’d even pressed the button to call yet.”

Laughing, Jordan replied, “Shouldn’t you be a bit more focused on your driving?”

Letting out a huff, I began to mutter, “One accident, and you guys will never let me live it down. Goodness me. It wasn’t even my fault!”

“Yeah, well, you aren’t exactly staying in between your lines currently either, Rose, waving your hand around like that. I’m thinking my concerns are warranted,” he teased.