Secret to Bear (4 page)

I took a long breath, letting it out slowly. “I’m sorry, I’ve never actually talked about this before. This is all— well, painful. The caregivers did horrible things to us. They looked for reasons to hurt the children. When I was little, they would lock me in a dark closet for hours just for not making my bed well enough. I was a kid, for god’s sake!”

“And when you got older?” he asked.

I sighed. “The older ones were physically hurt, with paddles or razor straps. They would punish us in front of the others so everyone could hear the screaming. It was horrible.”

A sob crept up, and I forcibly subdued it. “When we reached puberty someone always watched as we showered to make certain we weren’t visited by spirits of lesbianism or lust, as they called them. And each month Sister Phyllis would shave my head to stubble.”

“Why in god’s name did she do that?” Gage sputtered.

There was a heavy weight sitting in my chest. “She said my red hair was a sign that there was a demon inside of me, and she didn’t want the other girls to notice and destroy me before I had—as she would say it— ‘ripened in my iniquity.’ Apparently she wasn’t too far off.”

Hesitantly I glanced up at him, surprised to see an expression of— was it empathy or compassion? I couldn’t tell.

Then, for an instant, it was as though I could see him, really see inside of him, and he could see me as well. My torn heart was stripped and bare, and he examined it lovingly. In that moment our souls joined, and mine clung to him unabashedly.

As a spark of longing shot between us his face filled with fear. He looked sharply away, forcing a distance between us once again. My heart missed him immediately.

We walked for several long minutes in lonely silence.

“And they made you subdue any animalistic tendencies, right?” he finally asked.

I clenched my jaw and stared at the ground. “That’s for damned sure,” I spat. “Any type of emotion was discouraged. Being human apparently isn’t godly.”

“You probably learned to be really good at subduing the bear instincts,” Gage explained. “But the other night was a full moon, and you were drunk, so she probably came out.”

The realization of what he was saying struck me hard. “So when I woke up covered in blood, it was someone else’s?”

He laughed. “More likely an animal. We bears love to eat, Jo. But it’s rare that we ever attack a person.”

“Well, that explains my recent increase in appetite.” I cringed. “Does this mean I’m always going to lose control of myself?”

He gave me an inquisitive, mischievous glance. “Have you been losing control lately?”

My face grew hot. “I can’t go back to the grocery store again, or order pizza. I’m going to starve!”

“You’re going to prefer hunting anyway,” he said as he wrapped an arm around my shoulder.

I fell into him, laying my head against him, and started to rub his naked chest with my hand. He didn’t mind, so I didn’t stop. His hard pecks were fun to explore with my fingers.

“So why can’t you go to the store?” he asked.

“I was thrown out for eating the salmon right in the refrigerated section,” I groaned. “And the pizza boy— I’d rather not say if you don’t mind.”

He grinned. “I can imagine, believe me. After all those years of fighting against the bear’s needs, she’s finally getting a chance to stretch her claws. It will calm down as you get used to it.”

I looked pleadingly up at him. “Will you help me?” I begged.

His eyes were soft and calming. “Of course,” he agreed. “But you have to learn to embrace that part of who you are, before this battle of wills that’s raging inside of you tears you apart.”

“And how do I do that?” I asked.

We were coming up to the apartment building, and I was starting to miss him already.

“You need to let yourself go a bit,” he explained. “You can ease into it, but those cravings you’ve been having are natural and part of your life. There are no punishments now for indulging those needs. Understand?”

We stopped at the doors, and I grabbed his arm. “Don’t leave,” I pleaded.

His eyes met mine, and he swallowed back against his desires. “We’ve only just met,” he objected as, timidly, I finished ripping his shirt open. A quivering sense of need flooded me as I stared intensely into his eyes, seeing his yearning swell. He went quiet as I pulled his shirt down from his arms and pressed my lips against his chest. I worked my tongue over his flesh to his nipple, drawing it into my mouth. With an aching, loving desire I wrapped myself around him and held him tight against me. I could feel his longing pressing against me, and at last he succumbed.

I cried out openly as the needs inside me surged to the surface. His smell, the sound of his voice, the touch of his skin, all drove maddening instincts to a fevered boil. There, safe with him, I released it, and the night became a cyclone of rabid passion.

We worked together to rip my t-shirt off, too impatient to pull it over my head. My bra shredded easily into a mesh of cotton on the ground. I pulled him into the apartment lobby, kissing at his face and chest the entire way.

His large hands explored my breasts feverishly, cupping them, caressing them with heated eagerness. They then roamed down to burrow beneath my jeans as he pressed his lips over mine, drawing my heart and soul within him.

I wrestled with his pants as he yanked mine down my legs, popping the button off and tearing the zipper open. I slid my panties down and wriggled them past my thighs, letting them fall to the cold tile floor.

I gasped as his hand pressed between my legs and fondled my softness with tender but frenzied excitement. I pushed his pants and boxers to the floor and gripped tight to his thick manhood. My heart screamed in delight at the full, stiff chunk of flesh grasped in my fingers. I squeezed until I could hear him groan in pain.

I tried to shove him to the floor, but instead he pressed me hard against the brick wall, knocking the breath out of me. I screamed softly, struggling to keep the noises low as he thrust his penis hard inside, shivers of thrilling wonder flowing over me as he did.

Our bodies were a maddening flurry of grasping, kissing, and heated sweat. His sex filled me and I felt my body clinging to him. His every thrusting stroke drove waves of climbing eroticism through me. I came quickly and suddenly, and then came again.

He started to shake in my arms, and instinctively I shoved him back, his long stiffness slipping from my pussy as he stumbled back. He looked at me in horrified dismay, and I relished his shocked expression for a long moment.

Finally I leapt up and onto him, wrapping my arms and legs around his massive body and rubbing my soft hairs over his tender parts. Clinging around his neck with one hand I lowered the other to tease his gonads with gentle tickling and soft squeezes. I ran fingers up and down over his staff until his dark brown eyes pleaded desperately for gratification.

Wrapping both arms over his shoulders I pulled my body up and lowered my femininity down over him, slipping his hard, throbbing penis back inside. I rocked my hips back and forth, driving him near the brink of orgasm before slowing each time. My incessant teasing drove his desires to a frothing peak.

At last I ravished his body with mine with a quick voracity, rocking feverishly against him, pressing my face against his and breathing hard into his ear.

I felt the hair on his body grow and soften as my body drove him into animalistic madness. His pleasured growls echoed through me, and my own body filled with wanton ecstasy. I cringed and groaned as his penis enlarged even further and my body responded with intense delight. The room started to spin as my body trembled with convulsing orgasm.

He came inside me as my body quivered over his. I shoved him deep within me, pressing my pelvis tight to his, and held him there as he released his fluids into me. I stroked slowly over him several more times before his legs buckled with the disabling contentment and our bodies toppled to the floor.

I lay panting, my body still pleading for more but unable to wrestle him any longer. Instead I watched him morph back into full human form, and I toyed playfully with his softening penis as I teased my clitoris with my other hand for one last quiet but exhilarating climax.

I laid my head onto his arm and kissed tenderly at his chest and shoulder. He lay quiet, breathing heavily, for several long moments, letting me continue to play with his body to my heart’s content.

The sun began to peer over the horizon. We could hear the birds starting to chirp as he rolled up and onto his feet. I watched in awe as he dressed, mesmerized by his every move. His eyes met mine, the soft sensuality of the previous few hours drenching us together. We shared a warmth, and then it shattered.

It seemed to me there was a fleeting terror that flashed in his eyes as he stepped back from me. I smiled and sat up, wondering what had frightened him.

“I need to call in sick to work,” I mused. “There’s no way I’m going to make it through the day as tired as I am. Would you like to sleep the day away with me?”

“I need to go,” he mumbled. “I’m sorry, but I can’t— I can’t do any of this. I need to get out of here.”

He bolted from the lobby, leaving me sitting naked on the floor. As I started to gather my damaged clothes the elevator bell rang and the doors slid open.

I looked up, shaking my head. With handfuls of my clothes I walked into the elevator as Stan stepped out.

“Good morning, Stan,” I quipped.

He smiled, openly looking my naked body over this time. I let him. He was still staring as the elevator doors closed.

***

“Damn him!” I screamed as I walked into my apartment. “Dammit Gage, was I nothing more than a one-night stand for you?”

I fumed, allowing my anger to build. After all, didn’t he just get through advising me to let go and—

I stared in horror at the hair over my bulging arms. Looking up I saw my grotesquely monstrous face in the mirror. My eyes were coal black, my body covered with thick hair and swelling with rippling strength.

“No!” I squealed— or rather growled at that point. I changed immediately back and I sat naked on the sofa, staring in terror at the blank television screen.

“I can’t become this beast,” I moaned. I felt the animal stir inside of me, and my heart froze in terror.

It was there, always there, inside of me, pacing. I could hold it captive, maybe, but it would always be waiting for the next time I leave its cage door unlocked.

I called in sick and crawled into bed. I stared at the wall, feeling a strange loneliness fill the room as I fell asleep.

***

I woke up later that afternoon, a desperate hunger eating at my stomach. I wanted so badly not to feed it, to just let it starve to death. But the driving need for food pushed me from the bed.

I took a long, hot shower and found some clothes the monster hadn’t already destroyed. I drove to a grocery store a little further out and pushed a cart back toward the butcher’s department.

I stopped as I was passing the produce section. A sweet aroma drifted out, and I turned to see the fresh berries in little plastic boxes. Puzzled, I felt the monster’s craving for them from deep within me, and its gratitude as I put several packages in the cart. It seemed very strange to me that a beast like the one that lived within me would want berries.

I added several steaks to the cart, holding back the urge to eat them until I made it to the car. It wasn’t until then that I allowed the voracious appetite to devour the raw meat with handfuls of berries. The creature was at last sated, but I could sense a growing longing from it for fresher meat. The steaks, although filling, lacked life. I understood I would need to learn to kill soon.