Secret Worlds (146 page)

“You’re just a bloodling, Wolfie. I deserve a man as well as a wolf.”

It all happened so fast, I could barely take in the scene. With an anguished howl, Wolfie retreated back into his preferred canine form, the yahoos piled on top of their alpha to hold him in place, and Chase yanked a slip-knot-looped rope around his friend’s neck. Unlike the piddly collar Wolfie had been wearing when I first met him, this was a real restraint, but the alpha still lunged against the rope repeatedly, snarling as he tried to break free. My heart felt like it was bound to break in half when Wolfie finally collapsed into a panting heap on the ground, his eyes still trained on me and my father. It was unclear whether the young alpha had been trying to tear out my father’s throat … or my own.

In the ensuing silence, Chief Wilder’s booming laughter rolled out across the green, and I struggled not to let tears come into my eyes. Wolfie’s reaction had been even worse than I’d imagined, and I ached to think of the sores he must have rubbed around his neck. Even worse would be the intra-pack strife when Chase finally let his friend free back in their compound, and I regretted that there hadn’t been some way to achieve the same goal without enlisting the beta’s aid.

True to form, my father proceeded to make matters worse. “Such a bloodling,” he mused, taking in Wolfie’s battered pack as the yahoos hefted their leader back to his feet and began tugging him toward one of their cars. The only thing that lightened my heart was realizing that Keith had been set loose during the scuffle and had joined Wolfie’s entourage, hovering behind Galena’s shoulder. No matter what my friend thought of me now, I knew she’d look after my young nephew.

“I was a bloodling too, you know,” Chief Wilder continued, and Wolfie’s pack paused in their retreat, their attention drawn back to the older pack leader. For the first time since collapsing at the end of a leash, the younger alpha seemed to take note of his surroundings as well, and his ears and nose swiveled toward my father. I could see the human wheels beginning to turn in his head as Wolfie and I both wondered whether my father’s words had any purpose other than spite.

“If you live long enough,” my father continued, looking straight at Wolfie, “you’ll get over it.”

Whether the Chief meant Wolfie’s attachment to me or his bloodling nature was unclear, but my father had clearly tired of the show. At a signal from their pack leader, my cousins closed in behind me as Chief Wilder turned away from Wolfie and led us all back to his home.

I was being nudged away from the only pack I had ever truly felt a part of, and I wanted to sink into the same silent grief that had so clearly enveloped Wolfie. But instead, I glanced back over my shoulder at the last moment, catching Chase’s eye as the beta finished herding the pack back into their two cars. The beta’s face was no less cold now than it had been over the preceding days, but Wolfie’s friend did nod once in acknowledgement. Yes, Chase was saying, he would keep his pack leader confined until he was able to talk sense into the wolf. My betrayal wouldn’t be in vain.

***

“I hope you’re comfortable up here,” my stepmother Cricket said as she bustled around the attic room that Brooke and I had slept in as children. The slanting roof that had felt playfully intriguing when I was younger now seemed to confine me in a cage very much like the imaginary one I’d pushed my wolf into weeks ago, back when my darker half and I were still on speaking terms. That thought, along with the bleakness of my future made me bark out a laugh in response to Cricket’s words—comfort was the furthest thing from my mind right now.

Rather than taking offense, Cricket paused in her puttering and sank down onto the edge of the bed beside me. “You know we’re all so glad you’re home,” she said softly, gazing into my eyes as if begging me to understand, although she didn’t reach out to touch me. My stepmother was stick-thin and had always seemed to lack the maternal nature of my own mother, but Cricket wasn’t cold-hearted like the Chief, so I tried to at least be polite to her. Unfortunately, I couldn’t seem to muster any social graces now.

“Don’t take this personally, Cricket,” I replied, “but moving back to Haven has always been my worst nightmare.” Taking a deep breath and moving beyond my own woes, I looked at my stepmother consideringly. “I’m actually surprised you’re still here given the … um … problems with Ethan.”

Now Cricket did pat my hand, but it was an uncomfortable movement, similar to the way a dog owner would try to stroke a cat and muddle it all up. It occurred to me to wonder how such a fragile woman had kept her half-human background a secret all these years, and whether she could possibly handle my father’s anger now. If I didn’t miss my guess, Chief Wilder would have been beside himself when he realized his prized son couldn’t shift, and I wouldn’t have been surprised to find Cricket still recovering from broken bones. But, no, my stepmother seemed as whole and healthy as she’d ever been.

“He knew about me all along, dear,” Cricket told me quietly, and it took a minute for me to parse her words and to realize she was talking about my father, not about Ethan. “We considered it a fair gamble … .” Her eyes became distant for a moment, and I actually
could
imagine my father marrying a halfie, even understanding that there was a 50% chance any son he sired would be human. Maybe it was my father’s bloodling nature—another surprise to me today—that made him equally willing to entrust his future to luck as to skill. Yet another puzzle for me to work through when my mind was less clogged with grief.

“I’m just glad you’re okay,” I told my stepmother quietly after a minute, because that much, at least, was true. Now didn’t seem like the appropriate time to ask where Ethan had been sent off to in disgrace and how my father could have kept his bloodling past so well hidden, although these puzzles were threatening to pull me out of the wallowing I so badly craved. Nothing like concern about others to ruin a bout of self pity.

“Well,” Cricket answered, jumping back to her feet and plumping up pillows that didn’t need plumping. “I should get back to work on dinner. Call me if you need anything.” Even as she spoke the words, my stepmother was moving toward the door, and I knew I should have offered to join her downstairs to help out with the task. But I couldn’t quite make my legs move. I would have to take my place within the stifling women’s realm of Haven eventually, but Cricket seemed to understand that I needed this one day to mourn the outside world, and I appreciated her quiet support.

I had already started to drift back into my grief when my stepmother turned back from the open doorway to face me. “Oh!” she exclaimed, “I forgot to ask if you read the letter from your sister that I put in your file?”

That
woke me up, and my hand closed involuntarily around the unopened envelope I’d been carrying around in my pocket all day. When I first saw Brooke’s letter, I’d been afraid to read it, knowing the presence of my sister’s missive was part of my father’s intricate plan to wind me up in his web of intrigue. Later, I’d gotten sidetracked by the joy of mingling with Wolfie’s pack and had forgotten all about the note. But when I left Dale’s house this morning, I’d reached out and put the envelope in my pocket, meaning to throw it back in Chief Wilder’s face unopened. Now, discovering that the letter had been placed in the file by my stepmother was just … confusing.

But before I could answer Cricket, another familiar voice drifted toward us from the stairway. “Don’t worry, I’ll show myself up,” the female werewolf called as her head crested the opening into the attic. Quetzalli hefted a duffel bag up behind her, nodded at my stepmother, then said to me, “Looks like we’re roomies.”

***

To be honest, I hadn’t really expected to see any member of Wolfie’s pack again. But if anyone
was
going to show up, Quetzalli wouldn’t have been the werewolf I’d thought most likely, nor would she have been the one I’d prefer. I could imagine Oscar being left behind as a sort of honor guard if Chase had felt some misplaced duty toward a woman who was once nearly a pack member, and I would have liked to imagine that Galena was enough of my friend that she might have chosen to help me through the weeks to come. Even one of the yahoos would have been preferred over Quetzalli, who was the rougher and more masculine side of her and Galena’s partnership. While some of the other pack members might have glossed over my harsh words that afternoon, Quetzalli was bound to have taken offense, and she wouldn’t hesitate to let me know it.

From the look in her eyes after my stepmother pattered away down the stairs, Quetzalli wasn’t any more pleased to be here than I was to see her. “Not my idea,” she muttered as she carried her duffel over to the spare bed under the window. Her tone said
Case closed
, but I couldn’t let it go at that.

“Okaaay,” I answered, drawing out the word, then settled on simply asking her flat-out. “Whose idea was it then?”

Quetzalli rolled her eyes at me before turning away to begin unpacking her possessions. She’d clearly known she was staying before leaving the pack’s compound because the werewolf had filled her bag with underwear, a change of clothes, and toiletries. Which meant Chase must have talked to her since he was the only one who had known about my plan before the fact.

Or so I’d thought. “Wolfie, who else?” Quetzalli answered, her back still to me. “Although why he would bother worrying about you is beyond me.”

Quetzalli’s revelation silenced me for at least fifteen minutes, which might have been her intention. During that time, my mind raced over the events of the last twenty-four hours, honing in on Wolfie’s visit the night before and on his subtle attempts to drag me back into pack life. Yes, it was no stretch to imagine that Chase might have told his friend about my planned betrayal—I’d always known that was a possibility, even though I’d hoped I was convincing enough to prompt Chase to keep my secret. And, although it was harder to believe, I
could
also see Wolfie deciding that the decision was mine to make, then squelching his own feelings in order to let me follow my chosen path. Despite being a bloodling, Wolfie was nothing like the domineering males I’d known in the past, and he probably guessed that if he had forbidden me to trade myself for Keith, I would have just sneaked away in the night and carried out my plan without the pack for backup.

But if the bloodling had the willpower to restrain himself from forcing me to stay home the way any other alpha would have, why didn’t he also have the willpower not to attempt attacking Chief Wilder? It didn’t seem possible that Wolfie’s uncontrollable shifts and his lunges against the rope leash had been an act this afternoon, although that was the obvious conclusion. Perhaps the young alpha really was that skilled of an actor?

But if Wolfie’s behavior had all been a farce, played out for my father’s benefit, what was the purpose of the subterfuge? While I would have loved to think that Wolfie was simply buying time so he could come up with a longer-term solution to our problem, I wasn’t so sure that Wolfie could still want me back after my inflammatory words. But, Quetzalli’s presence suggested that the young alpha wasn’t done with me just yet, which sent a tiny surge of hope flickering through my deadened soul.

The only clue I had to begin deciphering the puzzle was Quetzalli herself, so despite her angry silence, I attempted to draw the werewolf back into conversation. “How long are you staying?” I asked, breaking the extended silence at last.

Ever since joining me in the attic room, Quetzalli had seemed completely in control of her wolf, so I was surprised when I felt the first hint of a change in the air. The woman spun back around to face me, fur already beginning to elongate across her body. “I don’t know that yet,” she ground out between her teeth, face flushed with anger. “Look, I really don’t want to talk to you right now,” she continued, the words mangled as the shift overtook her. “But do bring me up some meat from dinner.” Then a large, surly wolf was lying on the spare bed.

Great. Life in Haven had turned out to be even worse than I’d originally imagined.

I kept expecting Wolfie to batter down the door and come to get me, so as the hours and then days passed, I became more and more agitated. Even though Quetzalli hadn’t coughed up any more information, her presence—no matter how unpleasant—initially gave me hope that I hadn’t been entirely written off by Wolfie’s pack. I figured their alpha would just need a day or two to calm down and get over the events of Keith’s retrieval, which surely meant he’d be here at any minute.

Not that I wanted to draw Wolfie back into this mess, I reminded myself. In fact, the theory behind my betrayal was still sound. I couldn’t see any way short of a physical challenge for Wolfie to extract me from my childhood home, and that brought me back around to the whole reason I’d rejected the young alpha so publicly in the first place—I needed Wolfie to think I despised him so he would leave me alone and not get himself killed. In fact, I was so conflicted, between wishing to hear Wolfie’s voice and yet dreading what would happen if he did show up, that I was a bundle of nerves by lunchtime.

My second day in Haven, Quetzalli had deigned to shift back into human form, so I followed Cricket’s advice and took my roommate on a tour of the pack’s land. Yesterday, I’d been so intent on retrieving Keith and on my own role in the drama that I hadn’t taken the time to really look at the houses and people we’d passed, but now that I peered more closely, I saw that the village had turned into a strangely skewed version of the community I remembered. During my childhood, lawns were always mowed and houses shone with fresh paint, but now porches were leaning away from dwellings and a pall seemed to hang over Haven.

“This place gives me the creeps,” Quetzalli muttered, her words mirroring my thoughts. Yes, Haven had been restrictive when I’d lived here, especially if you were born female, but many people had seemed happy then. I remembered my neighbors singing as they worked when I was a child. There had been barn dances and community dinners. Now, I couldn’t quite imagine any of these werewolves laughing or dancing—the Haven werewolves today seemed to be barely managing to carry on their daily lives.