Secrets (29 page)

What kind of dog do you have? She was curious about him now. She wanted to know more.

A Saint Bernard named Bernie. He's a slob, but I love him. I've had a hell of a time finding a place that will take both of us though. And he was anxious to move as soon as possible, understandably, after all that had happened. Want to look with me this weekend? We could rehearse afterwards, or have dinner, or both, or ' His voice trailed off and she laughed. He was like a kid who had found a new best friend, and she was it. And she was both touched and flattered.

I'd love to. She had nothing else to do and she enjoyed his company, and that night before he left, he kissed her, hesitantly, as though he wasn't sure what she would say. But she stood in the doorway, enjoying the sensations he gave her. Good night, she whispered.

I'll see you in the morning. Can I pick you up again? He gently touched her face with his fingers.

Sure. But you're going to get tired of me.

Stop saying that. He suddenly had the feeling that he never would, not for a long, long time, and maybe never.

She curled up in her bed that night, thinking of him, and she felt her body grow warm at the thought of him. There was so much about him she liked, and he was so different now, so much warmer and more open. And the next morning when he picked her up, there was a long-stemmed pink rose on her seat, tied with a white ribbon.

For you, mademoiselle. He held it out to her, and she took it, pleased. It was a lovely way to start the day.

You're spoiling me, Bill. She was almost afraid to let herself believe it. What if he changed again, if he slammed shut as he had before ' what if '

You deserve it. You deserve a lot more than that. But the florists aren't open yet. It's from my neighbor's garden.

Thank you. They exchanged a warm smile and he kissed her again before they got out of his car. Thank you for bringing me to work.

Thank you for trying to save my ass, even if you were crazy to do it.

She made a face. Oh, shut up.

He was still amazed she had done that. It had been quite a thing to do. For all she knew, he had killed Sandy.

The set was bustling that day. There were visitors, which always made everyone nervous at first, but they were friends of Mel's, and they had to put up with them, and the lighting men seemed especially slow, and during one of the big scenes, a plane flew just overhead, and they had to shoot the whole thing again because the sound man picked it up with his equipment. Gabby was tired at the end of the day, and she yawned when Bill drove her home.

I'd offer to cook dinner but I don't think I can stay awake that long.

It's okay. I should get home to Bernie anyway. There was no dog food this morning, and the poor hound must be starving.

You'll have to introduce us sometime.

Bill smiled as she got out. That's a deal. Hey ' you forgot something.

What's that? She leaned back into the car and he took her face in his hands and kissed her.

I'll miss you tonight.

Me too. It was funny she had lived twenty-five years without him, and now an evening without him seemed empty. There was a sudden urgency to their lives now, and he called her when he got home and had fed the dog. He hated the cottage now, it seemed haunted to him. And he hoped he'd find something else that weekend.

I'll pick you up tomorrow, he promised before he hung up, but she sounded hesitant.

You don't think people will start to talk?

Do you think anyone cares, they have their own lives to think about.

I guess you're right. And she was amazed at how anxious she was to see him the next morning. It was like being fourteen again, and waiting all night to see your favorite boy in school ' your latest crush ' but he was more than that. He was interesting and fun, and serious at times, and they shared all the same interests. They loved going to the mountains, and wind surfing and sailing and skiing. She hadn't skiied at all that year. She was too busy working on the show, and it was in her contract that she couldn't.

They rehearsed in her dressing room when they got to work, and they were both surprised at how well all their scenes went that day. They did them all in three takes, and even the director was pleased. He praised them both when they went to lunch, and Sabina eyed them with her best feline look.

And what have you two been doing after hours, children? Rehearsing? Gabby blushed and Bill returned her stare. Sometimes she annoyed the hell out of him, especially when she picked on Gabby, which she still did often. Gabby was still the ingenue, and she was young enough to be Sabina's daughter, which Bill suspected irked her.

Matter of fact, we have.

My, my ' sometimes the best love affairs start out with a little touch of hatred. And you two certainly had your share of it this year. Kiss and make up, kiddies?

Oh, go fry an egg, Sabina. He put an arm around Gabby and walked her to her dressing room. Sometimes she gives me such a pain in the ass, he muttered as Gabby took off the coat she'd been wearing on the set.

She just needs to air her claws from time to time.

As long as she doesn't sharpen them on my ass or yours ' he grumbled and helped himself to a soda, and then he turned to face Gabby again. She was looking beautiful. The expensive clothes of Fran+oois Brac suited her to perfection, but she only shrugged when he mentioned it.

They remind me too much of my mother.

That can't be all bad, if she looks anything like you do in them, princess. But the princess was said with kindness now, and not venom.

Gabby sat down in a comfortable chair with a sigh. She was tired. They had worked hard that week, and she was glad it was Friday.

The next morning he picked her up, and they went to see four apartments and a town house, and he didn't fall in love with any of them, but at least they were a change. The house was available on a month-to-month basis, and they were willing to take the dog, so he took it.

It's okay, I guess. He shrugged as they settled down to hamburgers at Mike's, before they went back to her place to rehearse. I just keep wondering if I'm going to be around three months from now. It's a little hard to make plans right now. He was facing the fact that he was going to trial, and there was always the chance that he could go to prison. It sobered him every time he thought of it. In fact, it terrified him, and it made him question the wisdom of getting involved with Gabby. He had no right to hurt the girl, and he said something to that effect as they finished dinner.

I'm a big girl, Bill. I can take care of myself. I know what you're facing. But I also know you didn't do it. I always believed that, right from the first minute I heard. It was a hell of a vote of confidence from a girl he had been so unkind to for six months.

Your faith in me means a lot.

She smiled gently. I told you ' you deserve it. They chatted for a little while, and then went back to her place to rehearse. She went and got the scripts, and they ran through two scenes, but her mind wasn't on it for once, and she kept making mistakes. I'm sorry, Bill ' I must be tired.

Come here. He pulled her down on the couch next to him. You're such a brave girl '

What makes you say that?

I don't know, you have this way of taking on the world ' I admire you a lot, Gabrielle. And he did. He kissed her, and they both forgot the scripts. He kissed her long and hard, and she caught her breath when she finally pulled away.

Is that in the next scene? she teased.

We'll have them write it in, he whispered. I think it really works.

So do I '

He kissed her again, and she found herself lying in his arms, as her hands wandered into his shirt, and he ran his over her skintight jeans. They were soft and old and he could feel her taut young body under them, and he swelled with desire for her.

I want you ' I want you so much ' but I don't want to louse up your life' .

Don't worry about it. She had never met a man she liked as much, no matter how short their time together was. But she also refused to worry about the future. It would take care of itself. I love you' . She hadn't meant to say the words, but they had slipped out, and he looked startled, as he looked up at her, lying on top of him, her small frame barely pressing down on his large one.

I love you too, Gabrielle ' it's crazy ' I want to love you enough to stay out of your life and spare you a lot of pain, but I can't seem to make myself do it. She kissed him this time, with a passion so urgent that he forgot his qualms, and he carried her into the other room, and laid her down on her bed. He peeled off her jeans, and gently unbuttoned her shirt, as one would undress a child, and she watched as his clothes came away from his magnificent body. And then they forgot everything in each other's arms, everything except the love they shared, which had grown from the ashes of pain and hurt and disappointment. They had a great deal to give each other, and Bill had never been happier as they lay on her bed afterwards. Where have you been all my life, little girl? he whispered as she nestled into his arms, and fell asleep. And he smiled, as he looked down at her and stroked the long silky black hair that long ago had reminded him of someone else, but no longer did. She was the only woman he loved now.

Do you think they're having an affair? Zack asked Jane over breakfast one morning.

Bill and Gabrielle? Jane smiled at him. I think it's possible. I'm not sure he wants to get involved with anyone right now. He's very nervous about the trial, understandably. But I think it might be stronger than both of them. You know, the funny thing is that even when he was giving her such a hard time, I always thought they'd be perfect for each other.

Zack leaned over and kissed her. That's what I love about you. You're psychic. They were sitting naked beside his pool, eating breakfast. The girls were with their father for the weekend, and they were going to relax and go antiquing for her new house, but she found she didn't care about it quite so much anymore. She seemed to be at his place most of the time, especially when the girls were with their father. It was strange even thinking about him now. He was like a total stranger. She had only seen him once since the divorce and he suddenly looked bitter and hard and a little bit crazy. You know, I was thinking the other day. What do you want to do during the hiatus?

I hadn't even thought about it. Alyssa is going to camp, and Jason and Alex have summer jobs. Jason's working on a ranch in Montana, and Alex is working at the same camp where Alyssa goes.

How about going to camp with me this year? He smiled at her happily. His life had never been better than it was with her, and the past seemed like a distant dream now. What about going to Europe for two months?

Jane looked thrilled. She had never been. Wow!

The South of France ' a few weeks in Italy. Austria ' Maybe even the music festival in Salzburg. What do you say, my love? He leaned over her and kissed her neck as she beamed. There was no mention of his earlier trips to Greece with his gay friends. That was part of the distant past, and it was all over.

That sounds fabulous.

I'll start making reservations. What about Ireland? We could rent a car and drive ' and Switzerland!' He was as excited as she was.

And Spain! She laughed with delight, and chatting excitedly, they made a list. It was turning out to be the best year of her life, and of his.

You know, I like being forty years old, she mused with a satisfied grin. It's turning out to be very glamorous.

So that's what it is. He looked pleased. He had just ordered a mink coat for her, from Fran+oois Brac, and he was going to give it to her as soon as they got back. But the trip to Europe sounded wonderful to both of them. Wait till you get to be my age!

Speaking of which ' Sabina has been in a hell of a mood lately.

She's just tired. Everyone's ready for a break.

They only had another six weeks to go, and he was right. That morning, Sabina was lying next to Mel's pool, and she thought she had never been so tired in her life. And oddly enough, they were discussing the hiatus too. She had to go to Paris for three weeks to work with Fran+oois Brac on the wardrobe for the following year, but after that she was free, and Mel had just suggested meeting her in Europe.

Can't you come to Paris with me this time? She looked like a disappointed child and he kissed her fingertips, and then the tip of her nose, and her lips.

I wish I could, sweetheart. You know what it's like just before we air. There's a hell of lot for me to do here. But I'll come over as soon I can. How about a couple of weeks in Cannes? He had always liked staying at the Carlton.

What am I going to do in Paris by myself? She was pouting unhappily at him.

Hopefully miss me desperately. Their affair had gone on all through the show, and they suited each other well. She still did what she wanted most of the time, and he gave her plenty of room. She had gone away on several weekends alone, and he never asked her where she went. It bothered him a little bit, but he knew that was the way she was. And he didn't ask her to be any different for him. He wouldn't have expected that of her. He accepted her as she was, and she suited him perfectly, with the exception of her occasional moods, like now. But Zack had been right, she was just tired. They all were, and so was Mel. It was a tremendous amount of work pulling together a series like that. And now he was working on publicity for the fall. He was planning a grand gala, to watch their first night, with plenty of press and hoopla afterwards. But he was still worried about Warwick going to prison.