Secrets and Seductions (6 page)

“Right, but what if…I mean, what if…there's something wrong with me. Okay, maybe not bipolar, but what if that not-so-nice guy from high school is who I really am? What if that girl at the bar, if she brought it out in me? What if this nice-guy routine I've been doing since the accident is fake? Maybe I'm just a bad guy.”

“No, Bruce. You've turned into a really good guy. The things you've done with Patman Social Impact and the foundation are great. Everyone says so.”

Annie had defended enough clients to understand that morality in this world was decidedly a gray area. Rarely was something black or white.

“Hey, look, Bruce, you're beginning to fight back, that's all, and sometimes, fighting back doesn't look so good. But it doesn't mean you're wrong to do it. We're all complicated. Good, bad, whatever. It's the combination that makes who we are. And being yourself—your real self—is nothing to be ashamed of.”

What Annie was saying was so simple but so true. He was like everybody else: a mixture of good and bad. He had to stop focusing on what used to be and stop blaming himself. Maybe all this time he'd been trying to bury his past and smother that tougher part of his personality had been a mistake. Maybe he was actually suppressing an essential part of himself.

He felt a surge of freedom. All this time he'd been trying to stay buttoned-up, and maybe that's why he was in such trouble. He'd spent so much time fearing the old Bruce that he'd forgotten how powerful the old Bruce was. No one dared mess with him in high school, and it wasn't because he was a nice guy. If he was going to fight the good fight, he needed some of the cockiness of that old Bruce. Nobody would push him around—not Robin Platt, not Rick Warner. Not even Elizabeth.

He was done being the nice guy who finished last. He was innocent and he had to believe in himself. That very simple thought came straight from Annie.

He looked at her, surprised to realize how much he desired this beautiful, smart woman sitting right next to him.

He'd seen the way she'd been looking at him all afternoon. He knew she felt the same way.

The new, nice-guy Bruce would never have taken advantage, but the nice guy was a wimp, hiding and letting other people take over his life. Bruce was done being that guy. If he was going to win this case, he needed the power of the old Bruce back, and there was one way he knew he could get it.

He needed to remember what it was to be a real man, and there wasn't any better way to do that than by being with a woman.

He reached out and pulled Annie toward him. She came willingly, her eyes never leaving his. Then their lips touched. Hers went soft and parted, and he knew she was all his. With that kiss, a spark popped that surprised them both. This was no ordinary kiss. Not at all.

After an intense moment, she pulled away.

But Bruce wasn't going to let her get away so easily. He was angry, angry at everything that had happened to him, at everyone who didn't believe him. Angry at Elizabeth. Furious at her betrayal.

“Bruce, I don't know…” Annie stood, but Bruce was right there in front of her.

“Annie, tell me you didn't feel that, too. Tell me, and I'll walk away right now.”

Annie glanced down. “No, I felt it, too.” She'd felt it all the way down to her toes.

Bruce went forward into the guest bedroom. Annie followed, drawn by his magnetism, by the promise of what that bed offered. She walked right to him, and he took her into his arms.

“Bruce…” His lips were on hers again, just as she wanted them to be. Her head was a whirl of confusion: Did she even want this?

Yes! Without a doubt, she did.

Annie's heart beat fast, and her body came alive. Suddenly they were standing in front of the bed, and then they toppled down onto it.

Annie's head felt dizzy with wine and buzzed with Bruce's fierce kisses. The distant, logical part of her brain told her she needed to stop this. He was her client and the man her best friend loved. But all of that seemed so distant and so irrelevant, and so far away from the south of France and the need that rushed through her body.

It had been so long since she'd had sex with anyone, and she realized she wanted to make love to Bruce. It was that simple. But it wasn't.

What about Elizabeth?

If she did this, could she ever face her again? And what about the career she'd worked so hard to build? She'd be risking everything if she did this.

“Annie…” growled Bruce, his face flush with desire, his hands wrapped tightly in her hair. He tugged a little.

Annie, lying there, panting, looked up at him. His blue eyes met hers, fierce and demanding and full of power. Her heart pounded and her mind raced. Somehow, she felt, this was the moment that could define everything.

Would she do this?
Could
she do this?

He pulled her to him; her lips went soft and wet.

“Wait,” she murmured as she pulled back.

“What?” Confusion flickered across Bruce's face.

“I don't want to get carried away,” Annie whispered, her voice low. This was a lie. Part of her
did
want to be carried away. Far, far away, with Bruce.

“Annie, come on. Look at what you did to me.” Bruce grabbed Annie's hand and put it on the front of his pants. Annie could feel exactly what she'd done to him and the thought excited her; she couldn't deny it.

“I know, but…” There were so many buts. So much of the real world got in the way. “I don't want to regret this.”

“If you tell me to go away I will.”

She was silent. He moved his hand up along her thigh, under her skirt, and beneath her thong. He found her more than ready for him. She realized how weak her words sounded when her body told him the unflinching truth.

“Why fight it, Annie?” he said, moving his fingers against her, making her moan. “I know you want me as much as I want you.”

“Wait…” Annie murmured, trying to focus her thoughts. Everything was moving so fast, and the room seemed like it was spinning. “Wait, Bruce, I'm not sure about this….” And she wasn't. Not at all. Yes, she wanted to do this, but should she? Could she risk her career—and Elizabeth's friendship—over a tryst with Bruce?

As Bruce's hands roamed up her thigh, sending tingling sensations up her spine, she knew she had to make the decision now. Another moment, an instant more, and it would be too late.

It might have been just a couple of months since Jessica had been back to work at VertPlus.net, but it seemed like an eternity. No matter how many ideas she pitched, her hostile new boss, Tracy, shot down every one of them.

“I don't know why she doesn't like
anything
.” Jessica sighed and glanced over at her assistant, Emily. The plain, freckled redhead, wearing too much makeup as usual, shrugged.

“Well, Tracy just has very high standards.”

“Excuse me? Are you implying I don't?” Jessica's temper flared. Emily needed to learn how to respect her boss.

“Sorry,”
Emily said in a tone just touched with sarcasm. Jessica could never quite tell whether Emily was being sincere.

“Just watch it,” Jessica warned.

Every day Jessica worked with Emily, she liked her less. She talked back, had no respect, and as far as Jessica could see, didn't really do her job. Jessica always had to ask her two or three times to do the simplest things.

Jessica had brought up the issue with Tracy but had gotten nowhere. “Emily knows her stuff,” Tracy had said flatly. It figured that Tracy would love her, since Emily made it her purpose in life to annoy Jessica.

Jessica sat back and glanced at the latest thing to hit the reject pile: an “occupy fashion week” promotion where models wearing eco-friendly makeup would pop up with impromptu catwalk struts carrying placards in the middle of fashion week. Jessica thought it was a dynamic, original idea, but Tracy had turned it down flat. In fact, it almost seemed like Tracy had known what Jessica was going to say before she'd even said it, but the only other person Jessica had even talked to about the idea was Emily.

For a fleeting second, Jessica wondered if that was just coincidence.

“What's your next strategy?”

“I don't know.”

A new e-mail arrived in her in-box on her computer screen.

She glanced up at the notice and groaned. It was from Caroline Pearce. The subject line read: “Thought you'd be interested in this…”

Jessica had a sinking feeling she wouldn't like it.

She opened the e-mail and then clicked the link Caroline had provided. It sent her straight to
TMZ,
where she saw the headline
Liam's New Flame, Jessica Wakefield, in Bitter Divorce Battle.

“But I didn't file!” Jessica leaned forward, trying to devour the news.

“What is it?” Emily asked, reading over her shoulder. Emily knew no personal boundaries, and Jessica was too shocked to shoo her away.

The two-paragraph story named her and said she was in the middle of a bitter divorce from her estranged husband, Todd Wilkins. Except that Jessica had never filed for divorce. She swallowed. That must mean…

“Excuse me,” Jessica said as she clicked the article closed and ran to the bathroom. She didn't see that Emily slid straight into her desk chair and clicked open the e-mail.

Jessica stood in front of the mirror in the ladies' room, breathing hard. Her own stark blue eyes stared back at her, looking as shell-shocked as she felt.

Todd must have filed for divorce. It was the only explanation. While part of her knew this would be coming, the harsh reality of it still hit her hard. How could he have done this without telling her? They were officially separated, yes, but given all they'd been through in the last three years and that they had a child together…how could he let her find out he'd filed for divorce from Caroline Pearce and
TMZ
?

Her heart felt like it was breaking all over again, and the sadness threatened to swallow her whole.

The unfairness of it ripped through her. He couldn't call her and let her know he planned to do this?

The heartache and sadness soon were drowned out with a righteous anger. How could he have done it like this? He must never have really loved her at all if he planned to end things like this.

She smoothed her hair and lifted her chin. Fine, if this is how he wanted it, she thought. She thought about walking straight to her desk and calling Liam, but realized that he was out of town for a movie shoot. He wouldn't be back for another week. And she needed someone right now.

She strode out of the bathroom and immediately spotted Michael Wilson across the office. He was standing near a file cabinet talking to his assistant, and he had his bag slung over one shoulder, like he was headed out the door. It was nearly six, after all.

Michael glanced up and gave Jessica a tentative, almost shy smile. Something inside Jessica clicked. She knew Michael liked her. So far, he'd been entirely professional, but Jessica knew it wouldn't take much encouragement to goad him into something more.

She walked over to him like a woman on a mission.

“Michael,” she said, touching his arm, “can I talk to you a minute?” Her tone and the way she let her hand linger on his arm had the desired effect. His face lit up like a boy who'd just found a toy at the bottom of his cereal box.

“Uh, sure, Jessica.”

“Walk me back to my desk?” Jessica offered.

“Sure,” Michael said.

Michael fell into step beside her.

“I was hoping I could pitch you a couple of ideas before the meeting tomorrow.”

“Oh.” Michael's face fell a little as he realized it was business related.

“I was thinking, though, maybe we could grab a bite to eat?” Jessica stood very close to him and touched his arm again. He'd have to not have a pulse to miss the clear change in vibe as she amped up her flirting.

“What about your boyfriend?”

“What boyfriend?” Jessica deliberately played dumb.

“Oh, I mean, I heard…”

“Don't believe all that you hear.”

“Good point.” Michael glanced at Jessica, looking like a man who'd stumbled upon a winning lotto ticket.

“So, dinner?”

“Oh, y-y-yeah, sure. I'd love that.” Michael grinned.

“Me, too,” Jessica said.

Todd sent in his final story from the Lakers game, snapped shut his laptop in the press room, and stood.

“Hey, Todd, a few of the guys are grabbing a drink. You in?” asked Stuart, the AP wire reporter and one of Todd's friends.

Todd shrugged. “Thanks, man, but no, I'm going to pass.”

“Getting out would do you good.” Stuart nodded toward the newspaper sitting on the table. It was open to yet another picture of Jessica and Liam.

Todd felt his stomach tighten just looking at it.

“No, I just don't feel like it.”

His colleague nodded and slapped his shoulder.

He tried not to wear his broken heart on his sleeve, but everyone seemed to know about it anyway. It was getting pathetic. Todd knew it, but he couldn't quite shake himself of the gloom.

It had been months now since he'd found out Jessica had lied to him about Liam O'Connor.

But despite it all, Todd still loved Jessica. He thought he would always love Jessica. There would always be a part of him that would want to be with her. That was why he'd left Le Bouchon that night without a word, why he couldn't face her once he'd found out the truth. It just hurt too much. He didn't want her to see him so vulnerable, so raw.

And part of him had hoped she'd come after him. He knew Jessica Wakefield and understood that she never begged for anything. But he had hoped that she loved him enough to come after him. To explain.

She hadn't. More than three months later, she still hadn't made any move to apologize. She didn't have to apologize, really. She just needed to show up one day at the door. With the way he felt about her, that probably would have done it.

Sometimes he fantasized that she would come to him out of the blue, but she never did.

Todd wanted to be with Jessica; he would do anything to be with her, but she had to give him a sign that's what she wanted, too. He wasn't going to grovel, not after the way she'd treated him.

Todd pulled into the driveway of his house, parked his car, and hopped out. He unlocked the back door and instantly could smell Sarah's cooking.

Ever since Sarah had shown up on Todd's doorstep, upset about losing her apartment, Todd had let her stay with him. He couldn't imagine turning her away, not after Jessica had had her fired. Jessica insisted Sarah was a plagiarist, and the
Tribune
editors had believed her, but Todd didn't think Sarah would do anything like that on purpose. It was just careless reporting.

Since moving in with him, she'd become a good friend and confidant. Nothing physical had happened between them. If Todd was honest with himself, it wasn't for Sarah's lack of trying. It was because Todd wasn't ready. He was still hung up on Jessica.

He inhaled the smell of hearty lasagna and sighed. This is what home should smell like. Todd couldn't help it. He was an old-fashioned guy. Jessica had accused him of being last-century old-fashioned, but he couldn't help who he was.

And now there was no point to even trying.

“Oh, hey, Todd, you're home.” Sarah turned around, and he saw she was wearing skimpy cutoff shorts, a clingy tank top, and no bra. The effect was dizzying for a moment. Todd might have been in love with Jessica, but she was the woman who wasn't there. Sarah was right here. Close. Hot.

“I was just whipping up some dinner. Want some?”

“Sure.” Todd felt grateful. “That would be great.”

Sarah wiggled past him to get a pot holder, brushing him with her chest as she went. Under different circumstances, that would've been a huge turn-on, but Todd couldn't quite focus entirely on Sarah.

“How's it going?”

“Good.”

“Anybody been by today?” Stupid as it seemed, he had to ask. Actually, he always ended up asking.

“No, why? You expecting someone?”

“No,” Todd said.
Just hoping.

“Are we talking about Jessica again?” Sarah asked, wagging a spoon in his direction. “I know you're still hurting, Todd, but I really think you can do better.”

“I know, but…” Todd loved this Sarah, the good friend and listener, the one who kept stubbornly but gently trying to help him heal. Todd spent hours talking to her about how much he missed Jessica. It had been such a relief to admit that to someone. Sarah also didn't seem to mind that he'd pulled back romantically. He just couldn't jump into a new relationship now. It didn't seem right.

“No, buts. I promised to help you through this, and I will.” Sarah gave him a warm smile and immediately Todd felt better. He hated being so wrapped up in Jessica that he couldn't think straight. While he knew part of him would never get over her, he liked to think that one day he'd be able to get through a day without thinking about her every minute. “Here, have a taste,” Sarah offered, holding up a wooden spoon with the lasagna sauce on it.

Eagerly, he went forward and she dipped the spoon into his mouth. A bit dribbled down his chin and she wiped up the sauce with her forefinger. Then she popped the finger in her mouth.

“Yummy, right?” she purred. Even Todd was having a hard time avoiding the sexual tension now. And Sarah was pretty…and perky in all the right places.

Suddenly, the evening seemed to take on a new dimension of possibility.

“You want a beer?” Sarah asked him, dipping into the refrigerator. She made sure to bend down low, revealing just how high the shredded cuffs of her cutoffs could rise.

“Yes,” he said, and swallowed. She fished out a bottle and twisted off the top. “Here you go. Now go sit down while I finish up in here.”

Todd sank into his favorite recliner and clicked on the TV, beer in hand. He had to admit, it felt good.

Then he saw the channel in front of him. He'd landed on E! and the entertainment news was on. He stopped abruptly as he heard the report.

“
Star
is reporting that Jessica Wakefield, Liam O'Connor's hot and heavy, is getting divorced. It looks like Liam's love is leaving her husband for him. But who wouldn't? Have you seen Liam's abs?”

In shock, Todd dropped his beer.

“Damn it,” he cursed as he scrambled to pick up the bottle and beer foamed all over the carpet.

“What's wrong?” Sarah asked. She stood in front of him now, and when he straightened, he found himself at eye level with her chest.

“It's just…”

Sarah glanced over at the screen and saw the picture of Liam and Jessica. “Oh, Todd.”

“She's filed for divorce, Sarah,” Todd said now, his voice sounding distant and numb.

Sarah plucked the beer deftly out of Todd's hand and put it on the coffee table, and then she sank into his lap, wrapping her arms around his neck.

“Oh, Todd, I'm so sorry.”

“I don't know what I expected…” Todd rested his forehead against her shoulder and she hugged him tight. “I thought…”

He realized he really had been naïvely holding on to the hope that Jessica would show up at his door. That they would somehow get back together. Now, with divorce papers in the works, that dream disappeared.

“That's why she never made any move at reconciliation. Liam. How dumb I was.”

Sarah stroked Todd's hair. “Obviously, she's in love with him. Nothing you can do about that.”

Of course, Sarah knew Jessica had been by. There was that afternoon the bitch had come by wearing those killer heels and a snug-fitting dress, ready to beg to get Todd back. But as luck would have it, Sarah had answered the door wearing one of her best teddies and had quickly gotten rid of her. Of course, she'd never told Todd.

Why would she? Sarah wanted him for herself. She'd been trying for months to seduce him. She wasn't going to give up now.

“How could she do this to me?” Todd shook his head.

“I'm not surprised,” Sarah said. “This is the same woman who left her job supposedly because she loved you and then went running back to it the next day.”

“Shit. You're right.” Todd closed his eyes.

“It's all just a big game to her,” Sarah said gently. “You deserve someone better.” She rubbed her hand against his shirtfront.

“Sarah…”

“Todd, I'm going to say this because I care about you, okay? Jessica is moving on,” Sarah said. “Maybe you should, too.”

Sarah rubbed herself against Todd, wiggling in his lap. “Maybe what you need is someone who really knows how to take care of you,” she said, and then she dipped her lips to his and started kissing him.

At first, Todd froze. His heart was broken and he felt a well of despair bubbling up inside him. But another part of him, a deeper, instinctual part, couldn't resist the comfort Sarah offered.

As he hesitated, he found himself getting lost in Sarah's softness, in the wetness of her mouth and her eagerness to please him.

In that kiss, he realized that she'd been here in front of him for months, eagerly waiting for him to come to his senses. His hands roamed her body and slid under her shirt, caressing her bare breasts.

She moaned.

She was offering herself up to him and he would be foolish to turn her down. Besides, he liked Sarah. Maybe more than liked her. She'd been there for him these last few months when no one else had. Certainly not Jessica.

His body responded to her. The truth was he was a man who'd gone without sex for too long, and as he kissed her, his need turned more urgent. He suddenly wanted to have her in every way possible, to show Jessica Wakefield that he was not broken.

Desire soared in his blood, and he shifted, scooping up Sarah in his arms as he kissed her again. She giggled in surprise as he marched her to her bedroom. They tumbled down on the bed together, and her clothes were off.

Todd looked at her appreciatively. She was nothing like Jessica. Her dark hair was cropped short; her skin was darker than Jessica's, and her body not quite as lean. He relished the differences.

Maybe she would help him put Jessica in the past. Who knew? Maybe she was the right kind of woman for him. Maybe he could love her.

“Are you sure you want to…?” Todd's voice trailed off. He couldn't help asking. He always asked first.

“More than anything.”

Todd bent down and caressed her gently, exploring her body, relishing the unfamiliar details, like the crescent-shaped birthmark on her upper thigh. She dug around in the drawer next to her bed and fished out a condom. Once the wrapper was off, she gently tugged it on him.

He moaned as she guided him straight inside her. He moved slowly, deliberately, as he met her gaze. This wasn't just sex, he realized with a start. They were making love.

She had been such a good friend to him, but now she was much more than that. He found himself thinking,
This feels so right.

She responded to him, coming again and again, and with each new climax, Todd felt his own power growing. Sarah would be his way out of the Jessica Wakefield nightmare. She would be his savior. Sarah was his future.

At the end, he came with a guttural shout, then crumpled on top of her, exhausted and spent. He cradled her gently in his arms, caressing her hair, murmuring, “Sarah…Oh, God, Sarah. You saved me. That was so good…” as he drifted off into a peaceful sleep.

Sarah lay by his side, eyes wide-open and calculating. After a few minutes, she slipped out of his bed, grabbed her shirt, and tiptoed to her cell phone on the kitchen table.

She listened to Todd's snores, waiting for any change in the sound before she clicked open her text messages. There was a long line of communication with Caroline Pearce.

Todd might not have known it, but in the last few weeks Sarah and Caroline Pearce had become close pals. Sarah had been the one feeding Caroline Pearce information, like that Todd had filed for divorce. Sarah told herself it was only a matter of time; eventually she would convince him to file. Just as she'd finally convinced him to come to her bed.

Men were simple creatures, she thought. They could be easily led. Like the fact that Todd still thought Sarah had plagiarized Jessica by accident. She hadn't. She'd copied Jessica's quotes word for word, just the way she'd been plagiarizing for years. She was still picking up freelance money the same way.

She would've gotten away with the Jessica thing if the bitch hadn't been so nosy. But she would get her back now by taking away Todd. Sarah knew how much Jessica wanted to be with Todd. She'd seen it in her face when she'd come to Todd's house.

Jessica might have gotten her fired, but Sarah was going to make sure Todd never went back to Jessica again. Not now, not ever.

Sarah texted Caroline.

IT'S OFFICIAL—TODD AND I ARE A COUPLE
.

Sarah thought about this a moment and then added:

HE SAYS HE'S GETTING A DIVORCE BECAUSE HE WANTS TO BE WITH ME. HE WANTS TO BE A FREE MAN FOR ME
….
SO YOU CAN DRAW YOUR OWN CONCLUSIONS
.

Let Jessica chew on
that
awhile, Sarah thought. She could almost imagine the bitch's face when she read it.

Sarah hoped she suffered. She heard Todd stir in the next room, so she locked her phone and got up.

Time for round two,
she thought as she wiggled out of her shirt.