Secrets in Battle: Secrets of Savannah Series Book 3 (10 page)

Chapter 1
7

Sitting in my
counselor, Luca’s office isn’t the way I wanted to spend the morning.

“So
, what brings you in today, Judd?”

“I had another nightmare. I thought I was over this. I had a good dream about my friends the other night after the fireworks. I figured I’d have a bad night because I had some reactions to the fireworks, but I didn’t.”

Luca sits forward a little bit. “Judd, you are never going to be ‘over this’ as you say, but you can learn to deal with it. So, tell me about the last nightmare.”

“I remember bits and pieces,
but that’s not what concerns me as much as what happened.”

“Okay
, start at the beginning of what you remember and walk back if you have to.”

I tell him about this morning’s events and what I remember about the dream.

He nods. “So, it was about Kabul this time?”

I nod. “Yeah. I should’ve noticed that kid sooner. I let Walton down, I let those people in that market down. I do know when I woke up I could still smell it. It made me sick.”

“Now, you’ve mentioned Ryder and Annabelle quite a bit in the last few sessions. I know you and Ryder go back to childhood. What is Annabelle to you?”

I look up from the floor I was staring at. “Everything. I think.”

“Judd, our time is almost up, but I want to bring up a couple of things. Please, once again I’m going to ask that you don’t drink and take your meds. If you want to have a couple of drinks early in the evening, fine. Just not at night with the meds. You could have put yourself in a coma or choked on your own vomit. If Annabelle really means this much to you then you need to get yourself figured out. Quit shouldering so much blame on yourself. There were things that you had no control over. Also, have you thought about getting a pet?”

“
Luca, I live on a farm. We have a ton of animals.”

“No
, a pet, like a dog or a cat.”

I shake my head. “No
, I really haven’t.”

“They have done a lot of research with dogs especially and PTSD. They can be supportive and comforting. Soldiers find it nice that they don’t feel like they have to talk to them, but yet they can.”

I stand up. “I’ll think about it.” I sigh. “Like a puppy or something?”

He shrugs. “Actually, some have said they like the idea of a puppy, where some like to adopt older dogs. Everyone is different.”

I nod. “Okay. I will think about it, I promise.”

“And Judd
, don’t be scared to make her your everything, but try to get yourself squared away a little first.”

I nod. “Yes
, sir.”

“Look
, you are going to have unprovoked dreams, it’ll happen. It’s how you deal with them that matters.”

I shake his hand and schedule my next appointment.

On the way home, I see the sign out for animal adoptions today. Thinking about what Luca said, I pull into the shelter.

Walking in the doors
, I hear dogs barking and growling. A young guy walks out. “Hey, what can I help you with?”

“Well, I’m just looking around. I think I might want to adopt a dog.”

He nods and takes me down the aisle telling me about the dogs. He stops and turns around. “How long have you been home?” I nod. He looks prior service to me and we always seem to recognize each other.

“Well, back in the states almost six months, back home not very long. I was at one of the VA hospitals for a little while.”

He nods. “I think I know what you’re looking for, let me introduce you to Beau.” I follow him and stop in front of a kennel with an older hound. He opens the gate so I can pet him. “Beau’s owner had to move into a retirement facility. His kids felt it was unfair for them to take the dog into the city. A dog like him needs room to run or just be lazy in the sunshine. Beau is three years old. He’s a full blooded blood hound. He’s house broken and very gentle.”

I smile and nod. “I think he’ll do great. I live on a huge farm and even though I’d like for him to be inside with me some, I want him to like the outside.”

He smiles and nods. We walk back to the office and I fill out the paperwork.

Beau wags his tail when we open back up the kennel for me to take him. As soon as we get in the truck
, he flops his big head on the console for me to rub it.

“Beau
, I hope you like your new home. I know you need a new friend and I could use one, too.”

When I pull up to the farm
, Ryder is walking out of the barn. He meets me when I park my truck. “Hey, how was your appointment?”

I shrug. “Fine. He suggested I get a pet. I told him we had a farm full of animals, but he suggested a dog.
He said they’ve done a lot of research with dogs and people with PTSD.” I open the passenger door. “So this is Beau. His owner had to be put in a retirement facility and he needs a new home.” It hits me that I never talked to Ryder about bringing an animal here. “I hope it’s okay. I should’ve asked you, but when I saw his face, I just knew.”

Ryder shakes his head and smiles. He pulls me in and hugs me, slapping my back. “Man
, it’s fine. Whatever you need so that I don’t find you like I did this morning is okay. This will always be your home, too.”

“Thanks
, man. I’m sorry for being such an asshole.”

“Hey
, you are dealing with shit none of us understand. Don’t put yourself down. Annabelle understands, too.”

“I’m scared I’m going to hurt her. She’s been through enough hurt in her life, she doesn’t need my shit
, too.”

“Hey
, you let her decide that. Annabelle is a big girl.”

“
Luca told me I should probably work on myself for a little while.”

He nods. “
She’ll understand. I promise.”

I slap his shoulder. “Thanks
, man.” I tug Beau’s leash to follow me to my apartment.

Chapter 18

I’ve been at Nana’s for the past four hours working. Her
stories crack me up. I’m typing as she’s telling and I have to get her stop every now and then when I’m laughing.

She starts up again.
“Let’s see, it was a couple of years ago. It was May of 2011. Yes, 2011. Anyhow, Merle Parker, Glenda Jones, Phanie Syfrett and myself went to Biloxi gambling for the weekend. We were gonna ride those little scooters from casino to casino. Now, Merle doesn’t get out much. We decided to go through one of those drive-thru eatin’ places on the way there. So we are sitting at the window waitin’ for our food when I hear Merle catch her breath. She says ‘Well I never, they should be ashamed of themselves! Drive on, Pearl, we’ll eat somewhere else, not where they hand them things out at the window. That’s disgusting.’ So, of course, we’re trying to figure out what she’s talking about. I ask her. ‘Merle, what in the land of Dixie are you babbling about, you old bat?’ She scoffs. ‘I’m not a crazy bat, I don’t want to eat at a place that has a sign in the window that says ‘Condiments upon request.’ What kinda joint is this?’ I can’t control my laughter. I look at her and say, ‘Merle, they are saying if you want ketchup, let them know. Not damn rubbers, you old bat.’”
  Nana sits back in her chair laughing.

At this point
, I’m laughing so hard I can barely type. “That’s hysterical that she thought they were talking about condoms.”

Nana shakes her head. “No
, what’s hysterical is she acts like them things are so nasty. Lord only knows how many times she’d have been knocked up in high school if it wasn’t for them.”

I put my hand over my mouth. “Nana Pearl.”

“What, honey? We had sex before marriage back in the day and we even had condoms. We were just way more secretive about it. It wasn’t as accepted.” She throws her hands up. “Shoot, once me and Grayton were parking-.”

I stop her right there. “Whoa
! Nana, what did I tell you about those parts? Write them down and I’ll type them, but please don’t tell me.”

She laughs. “Hey
, I read them Grey books with my quilting girls. We’re waiting for the movie. We’re gonna go watch it.”

I laugh hysterically. “Oh. My
. God. Nana, I’m so going with y’all.”

She laughs. “
Shoot, we’ll load up Scarlet, too. Heck, if Ivie’s in town, we’ll grab her. We’ll make it a girl’s night on the town. Maybe go to a strip club or a drag show afterwards.”

I laugh. “Nana, you guys might be a little too hard core for us.”

She pats my leg. “You’ll learn, don’t worry.”

I sit back and laugh. “Thanks
, Nana, you definitely took a lot off my mind today.”

She shakes her head. “Hey
, baby, I know it’s hard. He may need some time. He’s gonna be more upset that you saw how out of control he could get than anything else. I know you wanna be there for him but don’t worry, Ryder will keep an eye out.”

“I know, it’s just I don’t want him to think I’ve given up.”

She looks at me hard. “He’ll know you haven’t.”

I smile and stand. “Thanks, Nana. I better go get ready for my shift.”

She stands up. “Alright. You make sure you eat good before you go in tonight. We don’t need you gettin’ sick.”

I nod. “Yes, ma’am.”

I make my way out to the
Ranger and drive back up to the main house. When I pull under the shelter, a big blood hound runs up and jumps on me.

I laugh. “Well
, hey there. Who are you?”

Judd steps into the light. “His name is Beau. He must like you.”

I rub Beau’s head. “Well the feeling is mutual, Beau.”

Judd smiles. “Beau, come here.” Beau makes his way over to Judd and rubs his head on Judd’s leg.

Judd looks at me. “He’s part of my new therapy.”

I nod and smile. “I’ve read about that.”

He nods. “Listen, Princess. I’m really sorry about what you found this morning. I’m sorry I didn’t come up to the house like I said I would, but I’m having some issues.”

I nod. “It’s okay
, I know you probably need some time. We kinda jumped into this.”

He shrugs. “
Luca, my therapist, thinks I need to spend some more time on myself before I really get involved with someone else. I mean he didn’t say it was a bad idea, just that I had some work to do on myself first.”

I l
ook at him. “I understand, Judd, and it’s okay. I’m here. I’m not going anywhere.” I walk over to him and touch his arm. “If Beau can help you, then it’s great. He seems like he’ll be a great friend. I really need to be working on getting loose from my parents completely and focusing on school.”

He kisses my forehead. “Sounds like we both have some things to accomplish.”

I look up at his eyes and smile. “Yes, but when we’re done, let’s go right back where we left off.”

He pulls me to his chest. “Most defi
nitely. I don’t mean we have to avoid each other or anything. Just, I guess no sleep overs or heavy make out sessions for a little while.”

“Yeah, I want you to take care of yourself.”

He kisses the top of my head and speaks into my hair. “You got it.”

I pull back. “I better get inside and get ready for work.”

He smiles. “Yeah, go save some lives.”

I shake my head. “Oh yeah
, that’s me.”

He and Beau walk off
and I make my way into the house. Ryder and Scarlet are at the bar eating pizza. Scarlet looks up. “Hey, how was your time with Nana?”

I chuckle. “Enlightening.”

Ryder smiles and looks up with food in his mouth. “Did she talk about how cute I was as a baby? How smart I was?”

I grab a bite of the pizza. “No, but
she did tell me a funny story about one of her friends getting confused about condoms and condiments. Then she told me about reading the Grey books.” Ryder chokes. “She also invited me, Scarlet and Ivie to go watch the movie with her and the quilting group. Oh, and they may want to check out a strip club or drag show on the way home from it.”

I continue chewing my piece of pizza.
Ryder is coughing and Scarlet is laughing. She pulls her hand from covering her laugh. “Did you tell her we’re on?”

I start walking out of the kitchen
as I’m finishing off my slice. “I told her I didn’t know if we could keep up with them.” I shake my head. “Grandmas and BDSM, I don’t know if we can handle it.”

I make my way to the stairs
and I hear Ryder freaking out about his grandma reading BDSM books. Scarlet is laughing so hard I’m sure she’s trying to breathe. I’d love to stay and laugh but I have to get ready for work.