Secrets in the Lowcountry--The River (23 page)

“That’s kind of you.” She gave him a
w
arm smile.

He controlled his emotions
w
ith difficulty
. Her sorro
w
scarred his heart. H
e
w
ished he could
physically
comfort her. Instead, he forced his attention a
w
ay from her and
glimpsed at
the remains of their picnic.
“
W
e didn’t do much damage.
Mary
w
ill
remark
negatively
on ho
w
much is left.”

Taylor s
w
ung her leg over the trunk of the tree, pushed off, and jumped do
w
n.
“
W
hy don’t you take the leftovers home.
They’ll make a light supper or lunch tomorro
w
.”
Tomorrow’s the funeral.
She stopped and leaned against the tree trunk.

“Dad loves Mary’s food and not having to cook is great.”
Jeff had follo
w
ed her suggestion
and started to re-pack the food.
“Taylor, are you going to …
”
He
eyed
her.
Her face resembled a piece of parchment.
Immediately, he rose and placed his hand
s
on her arm
s
to steady her.

“The funeral,
t
he lunch after
w
ards.
Ho
w
could I have forgotten?
I’ve been
w
orried about Rod and the problems he’s left behind,
w
hen my mother’s funeral is tomorro
w
.
Ho
w
could I have pushed that
aside?”
She asked aloud.

He folded her in his arms
, again smelling the fresh lemony aroma
.
Jeff took a deep breath and even though the reason he held her
w
as only for comfort, he enjoyed holding her, enjoyed
w
hat
w
ould never be his.
“
In the past
couple of
days
your entire life changed. T
w
o unexpected tragedies occurred at the almost the same time.
W
ith your groom
missing and your mother passing, I’m surprised you can function at all.
”

“But she’s…
w
as
…
my mother.
I’ve totally blocked her death out of my mind.
All I’ve been concentrating on is Rod.
W
hat a thoughtless
daughter I am.
”
Her voice
,
barely audible
,
held nothing but
sadness
as she muttered
in
to his shirt
.

Reluctant to release her, but
needing
to
w
atch her expression
as he spoke
,
Jeff held her at arm
’
s length.
“L
isten to me.
I’m not a shrink, but as
a friend, yet
an outsider let m
e share
w
hat I believe and
observed.
For t
w
enty years, you have lived your life
w
ith your father and
w
ithout your mother.
She chose her path
.
For most of your life, she
w
asn’t involved
!
For
hours,
days
, sometimes months
at a time,
she caused
heartache and
pain
to
you and your dad
.
W
hy
w
ould you expect yourself to start thinking about her?
Right or
w
rong have nothing to do
w
ith the situation.
You’ve remembered
no
w
.
W
hen
w
e go back to the house, you’ll go inside, support, and help your father.
My Dad
w
ill
be over around four.
Don’t beat yourself up.
A
ccept the situation and move ahead.
”

“Thank you for being here
, Jeff
.
I’m not sure
w
hat I
w
ould do
w
ithout my best friend.”

“That
’s
w
hat friends are for. Isn’t there a song about that?
”
He
turn
ed
her around, pick
ed
up th
e basket and thermos and headed
to the house.
As they
w
alked he
thought
I
w
an
t to be so much more than that.

After saying good-bye to Jeff, Taylor sought out Mary.
She found her leaning over a round table in the library
w
ith photo albums stacked on the
pulled-out
chairs.
As she moved closer, Taylor sa
w
a large piece of construction paper
w
ith a fe
w
pictures pasted on it–in the center, a single photo of her mother
as a young girl.
“
W
here did you find all of these?”

Mary
glanced up
.
“In an upstairs closet.
W
hen yo
ur mother left, I moved all
these from the library to a space that neither you nor your father visited.
Your father
w
ouldn’t
have
w
anted them
thro
w
n a
w
ay nor
did he need to see them every day
.”
Mary
returned to the albums and
removed another picture.
This one sho
w
ed Julia Ann holding Taylor,
w
ho
w
as
w
earing a christening dress.

Taylor took a deep breath.
“I’ll help.”

“If y
ou’
re not up to it, I’ll finish.” S
he g
ave a s
w
eet
smile
.

“I
’ll
do this for Dad.”

“And for you.”

She nodded. “And for me.
”

For the next fe
w
hours, the t
w
o sat and discussed pictures.
Occasionally, one or the ot
her
w
ould laugh at a memory
a particular picture e
voked.
C
omplet
ing
the collage, Taylor
eased her back straight and shook her shoulders, shaking out the kinks.
“
Miss
Mary,
w
hen did Mom start drinking?”

Mary moved t
w
o photo albums from a chair and sat do
w
n.
“Your mother loved life.
W
e attended Beaufort College together, joined the same sorority, hung around
w
ith the same group,
often dated the same guy
s
,
at different times.”
She chuckled.

W
hile she spoke Taylor, too, removed several albums and took a seat.

“One night,
a very cold night,
w
e even had a dusting of sno
w
the next morning,
w
hich
, as you kno
w
,
is a on
c
e in ten-year occurrence,
I found your mother passed-out.
She lay
a short distance
from the sorority house
curled up in a ball.
I can’t remember ho
w
I chanced to find her.
That doesn’t matter.
After
w
aking her, enough so she could
w
alk
w
ith my help, I put her to bed.
The next morning she
w
oke up and couldn’t recall anything, except being at a
frat
party and drinking.
A
couple of other times,
similar
scenario
s happened. In
those cases she’d made it back to the house.
In my day,
w
e accepted the
problem
and
generally
cut back on our drinking, but
usually w
e didn’t stop.
That’s exactly
w
hat
Julia Ann did,
most of the time.
(
Today, the medical pro
fession
w
ould probably say she could
have been a border-line diabetic or perhaps allergic to alcohol.
)
After several additional incidents,
I suggested she should
stop drinking, entirely.
Or cut do
w
n to one or t
w
o
a
w
eek.
She informed me that her life
w
as none of my affair.
A
w
eek later, she moved out of our room.
Our friendship never
totally
recovered
. She believed
I
w
as judging her
no
t
merely trying to help
.
Oh,
w
e
talked, but
w
e didn’t share our thoughts or our boyfriends.”

Taylor sat still and listened.
She had never been able to discuss this
w
ith her father, although she’d tried.
“
W
hen did she start drinking all the time?”

“I’m not sure. Most alcoholics hide their drinking.
I believe
she began
w
hen you
w
ere little.
”

“Could I have cause
d her to drink?” T
he guilt
w
ash
ed
over
Taylor
.

Mary touched her hand.
“Dear child, you did nothing to cause her problem.
             

“Are you sure
I’m not responsible for her drinking?” Taylor had to kno
w
.

“
I just told you,
child,
your mother had a problem many years before you
w
ere born.
And no your father didn’t cause her to
drink, either. He kept
alcohol out of the house, but she al
w
ays had a supply
some
w
here
.
W
hen he discovered her stash, she’d move the bottle some
w
here else.

“
I r
ecall attending a pig-roast
.
By eight that night, she
w
as smashed
.
T
hat happened more often than not after college.
Friends learned to call her before lunch if they
w
anted to have a rational
conversation.
”