Secrets of a Side Bitch (7 page)

Simone

I hadn’t seen much of Tammy since my drunken rant a few weeks ago. Yes, I was a little embarrassed that I let my secrets out like that. I guess a drunk mind really does speak a sober truth. I wasn’t ashamed of the men that I had chosen to date. I just knew that most women thought less of a woman that chose to be the side bitch.

             
Tammy didn’t know how hard it was out here. She had so many advantages. She was biracial, black and Puerto Rican, which gave her an exotic look that men in 2013 were going for. She claimed being Black because she thought the shit was cool, but her daddy was a full blooded Puerto Rican. Not only that, she was built like a brick house. She had advantages when it came to men that I didn’t, so of course she would give me that shameful ass look when she heard of my indiscretions. She didn’t know how it was to pull tricks and play games to get a man’s attention because she always had their attention. She didn’t know how it was to be cool with being the bitch on the side because she was always the main bitch.

             
But I hooked up with her on a Wednesday evening to specifically let her know that I had a man that was all my own now. No, Omari and I hadn’t made our relationship official yet. But he was mine. I knew the day that we became official was coming soon.

             
“What’s up, Simone? Took you long enough.”

             
I met Tammy at a bar downtown on Lake Street. She refused to go anywhere in the city because she was still hiding from Jimmy, who had still yet to be caught by the police.

             
“I’m sorry, girl,” I told her as I sat at the bar next to her. “Traffic was horrible. How you feelin’?”

             
Tammy rolled her eyes and had the same solemn look on her face that she had the last time I saw her. Despite being sad, she looked pretty,
as always
. She had on distress straight legged high-waist light blue jeans with a white cami and white peep toe five inch pumps. The whole outfit magnified her DD breasts, thirty inch waist, and forty-four inch hips. Her hair was up in a messy bun. She had on little make-up, but her skin was so pretty that she didn’t need much.

             
I envied her. I felt like if I looked like her, getting a man to love me enough to commit to me, and only me, wouldn’t have been so damn hard. Hell, Jimmy wanted to kill her just because he didn’t want her to be with anyone else. Yet, Tre was willing to damn near kill me to keep me away from him!

             
“I been okay, I guess. Been cooped up in that house. I wish they would find Jimmy’s crazy ass so that my life can get back to normal.”

             
“Do they have any leads?”

             
With a hard roll of the eye, Tammy answered, “No. However, I can say that they are diligently looking for him. I don’t need them looking for him, though. I need them to
find him
. I can’t keep living my life looking over my shoulder. This whack ass restraining order doesn’t mean a gawd damn thing. It’s like playing rock, paper, scissors; but except scissors, the motherfucka has a gun!”

             
“Has his family heard from him?”

             
“No, and they are thankfully very cooperative with the police. They can’t believe he tried to kill me either. His mother is so ashamed.” Ordering a double shot of Ciroc from the bartender, Tammy continued to vent. “I’m just so sick of living my life on the edge. I had to watch my back just to come here! I have a fucking panic attack every time the littlest things startle me.”

             
As I ordered Sangria from the bartender, Tammy sighed heavily. “But anyway. What’s been up with you? Haven’t heard from you much.”

             
“Well,” I said with a smile. “I been kinda beau’d up.”

             
With a nasty expression, she replied, “With Tre?!”

             
“No! Omari,” I was happy to tell her.

             
“The sexy UPS driver that you had a crush on?!”

I giggled like a school girl. “Yes.”

And with a judgmental tone and scrutinizing glance, she asked me, “Is he single?”

“Yes, he’s single!”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes! Gawd damn! What is that suppose to mean?” I was irritated like hell as I paid the bartender. Who the fuck was Tammy to judge me?

“Hey, you the one said you have never had a man that was your own,” she replied with a giggle.

“It’s better than having a man hitting me over the head,” I shot back, referring to Jimmy.

“He was
my man
, though.”

T
ammy

Admittedly, I was little tipsy when I walked into the house at about one in the morning. Simone copped an attitude and left me at the bar. She didn’t like the way I responded to the magical relationship that she was suddenly in.

If she was
n’t batshit crazy when it came to men, I would have probably had a different reaction when she came in boasting about having this new beau. But, on top of admitting to me that she never had her own man, and despite her falling in love and stalking many of them to my knowledge, I didn’t believe shit she said.

I needed to hear it from Omari’s mouth that they were together and as happy as she claimed. Anyway, after she threw Jimmy’s abuse in my face, I let her ass have it. I told her ass that me being abused
by my man can never compare to her being ran over and treated by men who didn’t think enough of her to claim her ass. I would rather have a man chase me because he doesn’t want anyone else to have me then me chasing his ass because he up under another bitch.

She left after that, so I drank alone and listened to the live reggae band until it was almost to the point that I m
ight be too tipsy to drive home. Then I realized that my drunk ass was way too vulnerable for Jimmy to still be out on the loose.

Anyway, I showered quickly so that I could get in the bed. Life was weighing down on me. Despite Jimmy’s obsessed ass still stalking me every chance he got, I had the nerve to constantly have Donte and that kiss on the brain. I felt so stupid. I had more serious things to think about than Donte
– like my life! I should have been worried about how I was going to get on with my life with Jimmy free, not obsessing over if Donte would ever have the same feelings for me.

After we kissed, he laughed and blamed it on
me being drunk. I had no choice but to agree because I didn’t want to be embarrassed. I truly believed that after I played Donte by leaving him for Jimmy, he refused to let me back into that space, while still being the friend to me that he has always been. For instance, as I slipped on my Victoria’s Secret sleep shirt and climbed into bed, I could hear Donte coming into the condo. I could hear him in his room fumbling around and then in the bathroom as he showered. I just lay there listening to the water, unable to sleep because the fluctuation and instability of my life was giving me insomnia, no matter how much liquor I had in me.

And as always, Donte came into my room
. Assuming that I was asleep, he tiptoed through the darkness and carefully climbed into bed behind me. His body spooned with mine and it took everything for me to keep my heart from going out to him. I told my heart to realize that this man was there for my protection and friendship – nothing more nothing less.

But my pussy
– that bitch wasn’t hearing that.

Though he showered, I could smell the Patron coming from his pores
. I hoped that the liquor had him delusional just enough that he would take advantage of me. To encourage him, I moved slowly so that my ass would rub against his dick as it lie closely behind me. I could feel it hardening against my backside. I was happy to know that if Donte was able to ignore the lustful past we shared, his dick wasn’t. Just to feel his erection excited me. A good fuck was just what I needed to make me feel better, even if temporarily. I reached behind me and held his dick in my hands. I was shocked when he didn’t stop me. I was enticed when I could hear low moans in his throat.

I figured
this was my chance if ever I would have one, so I quickly turned over, disappeared under the sheets, and put his chocolate stiff pulsating manhood in my mouth. I was scared that he would stop me, scared that his senses would turn common. Yet, when I could feel his hand on my bun, guiding my wet mouth up and down his blessed, elongated, and broad dick, I knew that he had surrendered to this head. His dick traveled down my throat, reaching spots that hadn’t been touched since the last time I sucked his dick, and I gagged. The gagging turned him on, allowing his moans to become even louder and more inviting.

He began to pulsate inside of my mouth so intensively that I feared he was going to cum. I aborted that mission and quickly hopped on top of him and slid down his dick like a pole.
We both burst out whimpers of pleasure as we ravished one another.

We kissed like animals while I rode him like a beast. 

E
ight

Tuesday,
August 13, 2013

Aeysha

By mid August, much hadn’t changed for me. I was still unemployed, but I pretty much rode the tread off of the tires of the Impala going to interview after interview. I was on my way to one at a Pyson, a vacuum company whose headquarters was downtown, for a customer service representative position. It didn’t pay a whole lot, but the hours were flexible so that when I was able to get in school, I could do both.

             
Physically a lot hadn’t changed, but emotionally, I was getting better. Rather than letting the usual insecurities and stresses get to me, I had been staying prayed up. I gave all of my problems to God and asked him to answer them for me. I knew that he would answer my prayers and show me signs of what to do and when.

             
I was confused about whether He was showing me signs to leave Omari alone. Though Omari was taking care of the bills, keeping cash in my pocket, and even having sex with me again, the deeper he got into the drug game with Ching, the less available he was to me. Not to mention, he was often out until three in the morning. I knew that the drug game was a twenty-four hour business, but I still had that gut feeling that Omari was fucking with somebody. Me and that man had been together through thick and thin, through good and bad. The universe was granting his wishes and giving him the better life that he wanted. I honestly refused to leave him over a gut feeling to give another woman the opportunity to enjoy that fortune, especially when I was the one that had gone through the trenches with him.

             
I also wanted the chance to show him that I too could do better. I felt like such a burden to Omari. Besides his mother, he had to take care of me too. I wanted to show him that I could get on my feet, get a job, and, hell, even lose some of this damn weight. I wanted the chance to show him the woman that I use to be, even if it was right before leaving his cheating behind. At the time, it wasn’t much I could say about his late nights and constant absence because he was taking care of everything. But as soon as I had some ground to stand on I was ready to make him change or I was stepping.

             
As I parked in the lot of Pyson listening to “Without Me”
by Fantasia, I prayed for God to give me this job if it was mine.

             
I walked into the office building in a black pencil skirt, paisley print button-front shirt, and three inch black chunky heels. Thanks to Omari, I was able to get my hair professionally done. So with the new hair and outfit, I felt ready for this interview.

             
But, once inside the hiring manager’s office, she started with the normal questions that I didn’t have the right answers to. No matter how ready I was on the outside, I knew that I wasn’t ready on paper.

             
“I see on your resume that you don’t have that much experience.” In a scrutinizing way, the hiring manager, Ms. Cason, looked over my resume like it was beneath even a customer service representative position.

             
“Though I have only worked as a CNA, I believe that job instilled the qualities needed to be a customer service representative. Patients are customers too.”

             
She wasn’t moved. “And you’ve never been to college?”

             
“Besides a high school diploma, I have a CNA license.”

             
I didn’t understand why she was asking me these questions. It was starting to piss me off and make me uncomfortable. She saw right on the resume how much experience and education I had, so what was the point in making me repeat it.

             
The rest of the interview went quick, unfortunately. She got me out of there so fast that I figured I didn’t get the job. I refused to be depressed though. I was tired of recognizing my misfortunate instead of counting my blessings. Despite having no job, I had a car and new clothes– things that I hadn’t had in years. I was starting to realize that I needed to be a lot more thankful towards Omari than I had been, especially since it looked like I would be depending on him a little bit longer.

             
Therefore, when I got home, I told myself to put on a happy face and attempt to show Omari a better side of me.

             
“How was your interview, babe?”
              Surprisingly, he was at home. He was in the living room kicking back on the new sofa that he purchased last week; a part of a sick leather living room set that had to cost some serious coins.

             
“It went good,” I answered, lying with a fake smile that he bought. “Are you hungry, baby?”

             
Omari looked at me like I was crazy. Those gray eyes danced around in so much shock and confusion that it made me giggle as I took off my shoes and sat beside him.

             
“You gone cook?”

             
“Yes, Silly.”

             
Then he asked jokingly, “Are you trying to kill me?!”

             
“Whatever, Omari!”

             
In response, he put his hand on my forehead like he was trying to check my temperature.

             
Swatting his hand away, I squealed. “Stop it, boy!”

             
I guess we were both trying to show each other how much we cared that day, because as we sat beside each other, he reached down, grabbed my feet, and brought them to his lap. When he began to massage my foot, I lay back on the couch to enjoy the treatment.

             
“Thank you, baby.”

             
Curiously, he asked, “For what?”

             
“For everything. You’ve really been holding me down. I appreciate it.”             

             
“You don’t have to thank me. That’s what I’m supposed to do. It’s all I’ve ever wanted to be able to do.”

Omari

“Yea, that’s right. Good girl. Cum on this dick.”

I had Aeysha bent over the kitchen table hitting her from the back with one of her legs hoisted up on a chair.

As soon as I got out of the shower and got dressed, she peeped that I was on my way out and decided to throw me some pussy instead of cursing me out like usual. She was really making an effort at changing. I appreciated that.

“Damn, I love this pussy, girl.” I was talking good shit to her. Making sure that she came real good so that her mind would ease and she wouldn’t be so worried about what I was doing in the streets with somebody else.

“Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh my
Gooood
.” Aeysha was cumming all over my dick. I could hear the tears in her eyes and the love in her heart for me.

I loved her too.

“Wait,” she told me while panting for air. “What are you doing? You didn’t cum yet.”

Since she came, I was pulling out of Aeysha.
I had a long night ahead of me. I was on my way to pick up some bread for Ching off of one of the blocks. Then I had a date with Simone. I couldn’t let myself get drained.

I quickly lied to her
. “I’m good, baby. I came a long time ago.” Then I kissed her cheek and smacked her ass.

I hurried into the bathroom, pulled my shirt back over my head and washed up real quick.

When I got back into the kitchen to grab my keys, Aeysha was leaning against the counter still naked. She and Simone were so different. I loved my girl to death, but she was letting life keep her so down that she had let herself go. She had gained some weight. Her stomach wasn’t flat anymore. Even her arms were getting big. Aeysha’s body use to be so tight. She was naturally curvaceous with beautiful breasts, phat ass, and tight waist. Her legs were long and the best feature on her body. Now those thighs were getting big and rubbing together. I still loved her, so she still turned me on. But having a woman like Simone who was still ripe, tight, and tender only brought Aeysha’s negatives to the surface.

“What you doin’ tonight?”

“Lookin’ for some more jobs. Probably go downstairs and see what’s up with Eboni. That’s about it.”

I slid my arms around her and tongue kissed her goodbye. “I’ll be back. Love you, baby.”

“I love you too, Omari.”

We kissed again before I walked out of the door.

The night air felt good. It had cooled down to about seventy degrees. I felt good. I had gotten my locs styled earlier that day. I had on a new pair of True Religion jeans, matching t-shirt, and fresh jays. I was saving up most of my money, but me and Aeysha was definitely burning up the malls getting shit that we hadn’t been able to in years.

The block
on Racine and Halsted was jumping when I bent down on it. These lil’ niggas was in front of the trap twenty deep. Lil’ Durk was blasting from a mustang parked in the front. Niggas was bopping all over the place.

It looked like a party.

“What up,
Pretty Boy
!”

“
Capone, don’t make me smack the shit outta you, man.”

He laughed as we met at the curb and shook up. His eyes were diluted like a motherfucker and he was
jumpy. He was most likely off a molly.

Without me even asking, he reached in his pocket and handed me a wad of cash.

“Do I need to count this shit, man?”

“Man, naw.
Don’t do me. It’s ten g’s, my nigga. I swear.”

I believe
d him. Though only seventeen, Capone was loyal as hell to Ching and pretty scared of him. Besides fucking with me over my nickname, he had been pretty loyal and respectful to me too.

“Any noise about Ron?”

“Hell naw, man. I told you those were some no name little niggas with a bright idea. Them other two niggas long gone with the work, somewhere in another state probably flipping it. Ron was on his way too, but that’s when Ching caught him slippin’.”

Word had hit the street about the nigga who robbed me gone missing. Come to find out, his name was Ron. Chicago was smaller than you would think and
the Westside was even smaller. Most of the block boys knew about the robbery because Ching put the word out on the streets to look for the guys who did it. They were also reporting to Ching if there was any word of retaliation once people figured out that he was dead. Ching told me that he caught dude slipping, coming out of his building alone, and scooped him up real quick at gun point before taking him to a trap house beating his ass and tying him up. He claim nobody saw him scoop him, but motherfuckas ain’t crazy. However, motherfuckas knew betta than to snitch too.

I still didn’t feel right being a part of this shit. Ching was bogus as hell for even involving me with that murk. I understood his position. A man in his position couldn’t let
clowns get away with taking one hundred thousand dollars worth of work from him; especially some little niggas. But me being new to this game, I wasn’t down with having no parts of killing nobody.

But it came with the territory, I guess. I had to eat.  I couldn’t let no babies think it was okay to take from my table.