Secrets Of The Alpha: (BBW Paranormal Shape Shifter Romance) (His Secrets Series Book 1) (15 page)

“Yes, mom,” Vincent said lightly.

It was the first normal thing he had said ever since he got home and I was happy that he was already feeling well enough to be sarcastic. I walked over to the bed and sat on the edge before I put the tray down. I looked at Ophagia and Fran.

“I think I got it from here,” I said as I looked at Fran.

“You’re sure?” Fran asked. Vincent gave her a look that spoke volumes. “He can be quite a handful sometimes.”

“Really, Frances?” Vincent asked.

“I grew up with you. She didn’t,” Fran said. I smiled and shrugged.

“Don’t worry, I’ll take care of him,” I said.

“What I gave him will keep him grounded for the next few hours anyway,” Ophagia said matter-of-factly. I looked at Fran and shrugged.

“See, I got this,” I said with a smile. The two women looked at me as if they were not sure. “Trust me, we’ll be fine.” Fran sighed and then looked at Ophagia.

“Remember, eat it all up. You need something to replenish all that energy lost out there,” she said before she and Fran walked out leaving Vincent and me. I looked at him and then opened the bottle of water before handing it to him.

“Have this. I have to get out of these clothes,” I said as he took the bottle from me. “And the stew too.
All of it
.”

The tone in my voice was one that told him that I meant business. I walked to the bathroom and brushed my teeth before coming back out. I had my back to him as I put on the pajama shirt I had worn earlier that evening. I was happy to notice that the bowl of soup was now empty.
Someone was hungry,
I thought as I walked towards him.

“Can I get you some more?” I asked as I looked at him. He shook his head.

“Thanks baby. I’m fine.” I picked up the tray and looked at him.

“I can get you more, Vincent. I don’t mind going downstairs,” I said as I looked at him. He held my wrist and sighed.

“Sit down, Winnie.” I looked at him and shrugged.

“But I really…” I started saying before he looked into my eyes giving me a look that screamed ‘I mean business.’ I shrugged and put the tray on the floor and then took a seat on the edge of the bed. I couldn’t look at him. I was afraid that if I did I would just start babbling. He held my hand in his and I heard him exhale loudly.

“I’m sorry, Winnie,” he said in a soft voice. I nodded without looking at him. The way he exhaled made me know that he was hurting and not physically either. “Please look at me,” he pleaded. I took a long minute before I turned to face him. I wasn’t sure if he could see it, my swollen face and everything. “I made you cry,” he said in a low voice. I forced out a smile.

“I was just worried,” I said.

“About me.
I
made you sad…I’m sorry, baby,” he said again.

I looked at him and wondered what I was supposed to say. The conventional thing was to say something like it’s okay but if I did I would have been lying to him because it was most definitely not okay. What he had put me through…it was all not okay. I looked at him and took a long deep breath. “I can tell you have something to say. Don’t hold back on me.”

“I…what happened today?” I asked as I looked at him. He took a long deep breath and leaned back. “Vincent, I need to know.” I was still a little worried about him. I was not totally convinced that he was okay.

“I’m scared if I tell you, you will…” I didn’t let him finish that sentence. I couldn’t mostly because I knew what he was going to say.

“Nothing could ever take me away from you,” I said reassuringly. I looked at him and saw it, the struggle he had with telling me what was going on. I looked at him and nodded, encouraging him. “Just tell me what’s going on, Vincent.”

“I…I have been struggling with my urges lately. It’s like I can’t control myself anymore,” he started. “The beast in me just takes over and I can never manage to keep him down,” he went on. I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. I mean after the last time he held out on me, you would think he would have told me about what was happening with him. I couldn’t think of a reason, any reason that he would have to want to keep this a secret from me. We were a team…at least that is what I thought.

“But why didn’t you tell me?” I asked as I looked at him.

“I didn’t want to scare you, Winnie.” I shook my head.

“That ship sailed a long time ago, don’t you think?” I sounded angry, and I was.

“I scared you?” he asked surprised. I nodded.

“Yeah, the first time I saw you…downstairs with Nathan Hughes, the first night I saw you writhing in pain covered in blood in your bed…this…” I shook my head. “This doesn’t even come close to what I felt all those other times, Vincent.” He was quiet.

“I’m sorry,” he said again. I pulled my hand from his and looked at him.

“Why would you ever think that I would be scared of you?” I asked.

“That part of me….” He started before I put a finger to his mouth.

“That part of you is a part I know about and accept. I love you anyway…any version of you. I told you that before, remember?” He took my small hand kissed it before he looked up at me. “But has this ever happened before? Is there a trigger I should know about?” He didn’t answer but the way he breathed in made me know that there was something on his mind that he didn’t want to say. “Vincent?” It seemed like a lifetime had passed before he finally spoke.

“When you said that you wanted to pursue your career…I…I really didn’t like the idea,” he said. My eyes grew wide.

“So I triggered this?” I asked sadly. He shook his head.

“No…not really you. It was me. The fear of losing you,” he said.

“Wait, what do you mean, ‘the fear of losing me’? You wouldn’t be losing me. I am just going back to work, not leaving you,” I said matter-of-factly. He looked into my eyes and forced a smile.

“I was scared that you would meet someone out there. Someone normal, like you…and then maybe you would wonder why the hell you are with a freak and then…” his voice trailed off as he looked into my eyes.

“I have been here before. I have fallen for someone like you before but I was too much to handle. She left before I could even tell her why I was so distant but you…you’ve been here. You’ve stuck around, and I don’t want to lose that.” I looked at him and I smiled when I saw it. That desperation, that love I had doubted for so long. I shook my head.

“You couldn’t lose me if you tried, Vincent,” I said in a low voice. I was feeling silly as I sat there looking at him. I had thought the worst of him the past couple of days, I had let Gloria’s words get to me.

“I have something to confess too,” I said in a low voice.

“What is it?” I took a long deep breath as I looked at him and wondered how I was supposed to tell him that I had been looking for acting jobs behind his back. “Just tell me, Winnie. Whatever it is, I can take it.”

“I…I have been looking for jobs in the last few weeks and I even got someone who gave me a call back.” I looked at him for any kind of reaction, but there wasn’t any. “I know I should have told you but you weren’t ever here and when I tried to talk to you…” My voice trailed off when I remembered the way he had yelled at me the previous night. “I thought my life with you was over. That maybe you had found someone else,” I finally said. I looked at him and saw the shock written all over his face. Almost like he could not believe I would think that of him.

“Winnie, how could you ever think that?” he asked as he looked into my eyes. I shrugged guiltily.

“I don’t know…I just thought that you were bored with me after all, you were gone more often than you were home, and I didn’t think that work was the issue since you work from home…I was just really messed up, Vincent,” I said again. “And the way you would come back home, agitated…never wanting to talk about anything…” He pulled me into his arms and I sighed into his shoulder as he gently ran his hands up and down my back. He pulled away from me and looked into my eyes.

“I would never think of being with anyone the way I am with you, Winnie,” he said as he leaned forward and touched my shoulders. It was now my turn to be reassured. “I wouldn’t ever think of it.”

“It feels really great to hear you say that,” I said as I looked at him.

“You know what,” he started as he looked at me. “I think you would make a really great actress for all it’s worth.”

I smiled at him. It meant the world for him to tell me that. I raised an eyebrow over the other as he tried moving closer. I pulled back and looked at him frowning.

“What are you trying to do?” I asked.

“Trying to kiss my woman. Is that so wrong?” he asked. I shook my head.

“Kissing me is going to lead to other things and honestly I cannot think of anything worse than getting you all riled up. You are not strong enough,” I said concerned.

“I’m fine,” he said. I shook my head. “Come on, it’s just a kiss,” he said as he moved closer to me.

I looked at him and shook my head. I wasn’t sure I could handle getting him weak again. He looked at me and I smiled at him. I wanted him, I really, really wanted him, but I just couldn’t do it, at least not tonight. He slipped an arm around my waist and pulled me close to him.

“I don’t want to make you weaker than you are, Vincent, just…” I never finished my sentence. He had pulled me to him and he was kissing me. He pulled away and looked at me.

“I’m a werewolf, Winnie. I heal faster than you think,” he said in a low voice. I smiled at him and shrugged.

“I guess you are right,” I said.

“You know that I am right, Winnie. There are no guessing games here,” he said in a low voice. I liked how this was going. I had missed having him around, having a conversation. Without even knowing it, we were looking into each other’s eyes without saying a word. “I missed you,” he said softly.

“I missed you too,” I said as I looked at him.

He pulled away from me and then climbed off the bed. I looked at him as he stood in front of me, making me move further down on the bed. He was looking right into my eyes, and I into his. I held the side of his face and he closed his eyes.

“God, Winnie, you have no idea what you mean to me,” he said in a whisper. I wanted to say that indeed I knew because he meant the same to me, if not more. I looked at him and gently ran my fingers through his hair just as he opened his eyes to look at me.

“I do,” I said in a low voice. “Because you mean so much more to me,” I added in the same low voice as I leaned in and gave him a gentle kiss on his lips. He pulled away and looked into my eyes. It was now his turn to run his fingers through my hair.

“You are beautiful, Winnie,” he whispered as he held the back of mine. You are so beautiful, and you are mine. All mine,” he added as he leaned in to me and kissed me.

His kiss was one I had yearned to feel for so long. I wanted to feel him want me and I was feeling it at that moment. The way his lips crashed against mine and the way he breathed with mad desire for my body sent a shiver down my spine. I was getting turned on just by listening to him breathe. He pulled away from me and looked into my eyes.

“Tell me what you want.” I looked at him, wondering what the best answer for him would have been.

I opened my mouth to answer him, but all that came out was a silent whimper that only seemed to fuel his desires even more. He pulled me closer to him and looked at me.

“Come on, baby,” he was now kissing my neck. “Tell me what you want.” I closed my eyes and threw my head back, giving him access to more of my neck.

“I want you,” I whispered as I felt his lips go lower on my neck and then back up to the base of my ear. He stood up and pulled me to my feet before he began kissing my neck again.