Secrets of the Women's Self-Bondage Cult
Secrets of the Women’s
Self-Bondage Cult
by Jurgen von Stuka
ISBN: 978-1-937831-48-6
A Pink Flamingo Ebook Publication
Copyright © 2012, All rights reserved
With the exception of quotes used in reviews, no part of this book may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form, by any means, including mechanical, electronic, photocopying recording or otherwise without prior written permission of the publishers.
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disclaimers
This book is fictional and produced solely for adult entertainment. It is not intended as instructional or as a guide to any kind of bondage or restraint. Readers are reminded that seeing or reading about any activity does not constitute sufficient experience to engage in that activity nor is it a sensible or intelligent reason to copy or attempt to reenact any part of what is seen or read.
The author, publisher and distributors of this book disclaim any responsibility for any interpretations, distortions or attempts to copy, emulate, reenact or portray in real life any of the fantasy acts discussed in this book. Anyone who attempts such reenactment or who engages in any such action does so on their own and without the implied or express permission or suggestion of the author and publisher.
Author's Notes
When I was first approached and asked if I would consider writing a book about self-bondage, I thought it was probably not a good idea, mostly because, by virtue of it being a very private sexual activity engaged in by a single person, there was not a lot of information available. Furthermore, the inquiry came by email from a woman I barely knew. Her approach was not brazen, but she wasted no words. This was the email message:
Dear von Stuka,
I belong to a very small international group of women who are well enough off to indulge in very private erotic activities. This is not BDSM as you know it.
Each year, we gather at a different location and spend a few days in the fellowship of auto-bondage…self-bondage if you will. We believe that self-bondage is misunderstood, if not generally unknown to many people and part of our charter, though informal, is to expand our own knowledge and understanding of this experience.
We'd like you to consider sharing this unique experience, in total secrecy, with the end result perhaps being a book based on what you learn at this meeting.
We will pay all of your expenses and you must agree to and sign a rather detailed legal contract.
(Signed) N
Less than a month later, after playing the requisite footsie with several lawyers, theirs and mine, I flew from Tegel Airport in Berlin to Frankfurt and then on to Stockholm. Per the written instructions, I waited there overnight and then was taken to a small airport and flown to a beautiful island retreat at a location I cannot disclose. The group that gathered there was certainly not middle class and was a fascinating mixture of cultures. The accommodations were Spartan, but elegant and it was immediately clear that this club, this cult of self-bondagers, was very unique in that they shared, within their small circle, information and experiences that usually never leave the most private rooms of participants.
Contrary to what could be popular belief, auto or self-bondage is neither simple nor easy. It is not easy because the practitioner must be able to get into the bondage and then safely get out. It is not simple because if the user doesn't get anything out of it, it is useless. It is, as the stories gathered here demonstrate, both physically and psychologically complex and deeply entwined with the nuances of the entire spectrum of the BDSM world. There is also a point, especially for the novice, where a lack of knowledge and experience may result in frustration stemming from a desire to engage in the activity that can most accurately be described as complex, serious, erotic play.
It is impossible to consider the self-bondage concept without including the realm of bondage, discipline, sadism and masochism because the two areas, while having distinct characteristics of their own, are very closely linked. The survey and interviews included here often reflect the inclination to engage in SB when no partners for other BDSM activities are available. So, one might conclude, at least ideally, that self-bondage leads to partner bondage and vice versa.
As in other such erotic activities, or games, there is always the specter of danger with SB. In normal consensual partner bondage, the binder and bindee strike an agreement about limits and techniques. For example, the bindee may stipulate that he or she is not, under any conditions, to be beaten, no matter how attractive this course might be to the binder. They must also agree about safe words or actions, concurring on the premise that what one participant may say or indicate while in the throes of orgasmic pleasure cannot be considered their true need or desire. Thus, the famous cliché that goes: "if I say 'no, please,' it means do it harder" cannot be trusted. Part of the contract between top and bottom, between dom and dominated is the implicit understanding that when the bottom says "stop" they mean stop. Failure on the part of either participant to agree to the terms set by the other is a very good reason to cease all such activity and move on to something else.
No bondage action between adults should be undertaken without the express and willing acceptance of BOTH PARTIES
.
Nevertheless, the idea of securing oneself in such as way as to gain erotic stimulation and release flourishes best when there is an element of danger, real or imaginary. This is no different from auto racing, bungee jumping, motorcycle racing, parachuting or surfing. Without the danger, there is often no enjoyment for the participant. SB has associated dangers much like some sports that are often engaged in solo. The solo SCUBA diver must recognize and plan for the fact that he or she is solely responsible for his own welfare. Using life support systems, such as SCUBA, alone, means doing things differently than if you are diving in a group or with a buddy.
SB has similar elements. If you tie yourself up in your own private apartment, house, camping tent or hotel room, you must recognize that if something goes wrong, you alone will be responsible. Waiting for help may be an end game.
At the extreme end of the spectrum, real danger lurks when circulation of blood is inhibited or airways are blocked. When bindings, such as cuffs, ropes or straps are too tight or left in place for too long, the desire and need to quickly escape may cloud the rational action of the bindee.
No one I know or have ever read about in this realm begins or ends their comments about self or auto-bondage without the strict warnings about the safety aspects.
Anything can be dangerous if you go at it the wrong way. However, self-bondage, mostly because it encourages the participant(s) to go to the edge of their erotic sensibilities, can become life-threatening if the cautions and safe practices are exceeded or ignored.
Anyone who has tried to get off by placing themselves in seemingly inescapable restraint knows that to successfully and safely do so takes at least four critical elements:
· Careful planning,
· a true awareness of the dangers,
· understanding their own limits and
· proper and safe equipment.
Lack of any of these ingredients can have, at best, unsatisfying and at worst, disastrous results. If you do not plan properly, you may find yourself hopelessly confined. If you happen to use the wrong gear, or use your gear incorrectly, you can do serious or irreparable damage.
As in the case of being bound by someone else, doing it yourself can produce extreme psychological and physical stimulation. It can also bring discomfort beyond endurance; pain that you did not expect or want.
There is very little public information about self-bondage. There are very few reliable published sources of such information and a great deal of truth and accuracy is lost in myth and word of mouth. This is unfortunate, because having no reference, individuals must experiment on their own without guidance, usually in secret. This methodology, coupled with the complexity of the practice, can yield frustration and at times, costly mistakes. For example, a reasonably intelligent person knows that anything placed around the neck has the potential to be deadly. Indeed, much of what has been written and published about self-bondage contains strong warnings about placing anything around the neck. Yet, because the neck is full of highly responsive nerve endings and receptors, as well as being a convenient "attachment point", many auto bondage practitioners place collars, rope, chain and other materials on and around the neck. The strongest cautions about this will often not discourage BDSM practitioners and thus, it is best perhaps to investigate safe ways to do this rather than constantly and ineffectively telling people not to do it. One analogy to this might be made that if someone is committed to driving fast and breaking the speed limit, learning to safely drive a race car on a closed circuit track might be a better option. So, one could also conclude that if in SB it seems essential to place something on the neck, it is best to study and understand the ways this can be done with less risk.
This book is NOT intended to be a “how-to” guide for those interested in self or auto-bondage. As a useful tool for learning about the subject, it is far from perfect. The nuances and complexity of restraint in any form are far too deep and varied to allow anyone to say that they know all there is to know and can thus responsibly advise others about what to do and how to do it. Coupled with the societal issues that always come into play when one discusses the various forms of erotica, it can only be said here that perhaps some knowledge and enlightenment may come from reading what is here.
Jurgen von Stuka
Berlin
October 2011
Preface
Self-bondage, SB, is essentially the indulgence in one's private, sexual fantasies. Doing something to yourself that you cannot or will not do with someone else can be a thrilling and sexually rewarding activity. Often, the extent and duration of an SB session will exceed anything a second party might tolerate, even willingly. So, the fantasy extends, partly because you, the person who is tied and you the person doing the tying, set your own limits in terms of time, apparel, accessories and techniques. From this perspective alone, SB is tempting and tantalizing for many would-be BDSM practitioners who simply cannot or will not find a partner for such practices.
What began as a sort of research survey of self-bondage practitioners eventually became this book. From my personal observation, the stories are too good to remain in some dusty volume of erotic behavior. Low-key research by one individual can be productive. If I took a professional research team into such a closed, invitation only, private event at a remote location for the purpose of gaining some additional insight into self-bondage, I doubt we would have come away with as rich and diverse a book.