Secrets (Passion Shields) (10 page)

"You don't have to do that."

"I do … or don’t you want me anymore?" she asked hesitantly.

"Oh, I want you like I've never wanted anything else before. More to the point, I need you as much as I need the air around me.
In our relationship so far, the emphasis has been on me owning your body. The truth is you own my heart, my very soul. Last night you shattered it when you returned my bracelet. For the first time in my life, I knew what it was to be brokenhearted."

She followed his gaze to where the bracelet
lay discarded on the table.

"I'm so sorry, Ben. I wasn't thinking straight
."

She slid off the sofa onto the floor and knelt before him. She fixed her gaze at his feet.

"Please put the bracelet back on me."

"No.
Not yet."

Anxiety tightened her chest making her woozy.
What have I done?
She'd allowed her fears to take over. This was the result.

"Stand up, Selina.
"

She lifted her gaze, tears clouding her eyes. He scrubbed his hand over his head, messing up the unruly hair even more.
With a heavy heart, she sat back on the sofa.

"
The next time you wear this bracelet I want there to be no doubt in your mind that you belong to me, all of you—your body, your heart, your very soul."

She sucked in breath and closed her eyes.

"And you can't make that decision until you've been to Johannesburg and seen where I've come from. Once you know everything about me and you're certain in your heart, I will offer you the bracelet again."

Disappointed
, she bit her lower lip. Without the piece of jewelry, she felt lonely and insecure. Still she accepted he had a point.

"Okay
… but do I still have conjugal rights?" she asked glad that all wasn't lost.

A smile brightened his face.

"If you want them."

"I do."

Chapter Ten

"And there I was thinking I would have to tie you to our bed and tease you until you beg
ged me to fuck you."

"You can still do that."

"Nah." He shook his head as he strode to her. "I don't have the patience for that."

He lifted her
onto the table, pushed aside the contents, and kissed her. Sensation spiked through her body. His hands roamed over her, caressing every inch of her torso.

He stood between her legs, his thighs hard,
and his erection pushing against her belly.

Then he took her clothes off, starting with her t-shirt, then her jeans until she was standing naked before him.

"Beautiful," he murmured, his low voice making her stomach do flip flops.

She shifted
from one leg to the other.

"Don't move. I want to look at you."

Stepping back, his heated gaze swept from her face to her painted toe nails, leaving a trail of tingles, her entire body hit by static electricity. He observed every inch of her, tracing the oval shape of her face with the pad of his index finger, the pout of her lips, down to the delicate column of her neck, the taut tips of her nipples, the swell of her breasts, the rough scars on her stomach, the curve of her hips, the smoothness of her legs and back up to the hairless mound of her sex.

"Your body was created to be worshiped. Turn around."

She rotated, slowly, trying hard to quell the trembling that had erupted from her core and was now spreading through her body.

"I want to love you, cherish you,
and protect you for as long as we both live."

Then he knelt before her, drawing in a deep breath
as he parted her hooded flesh.

"Do you know what seeing you so wet for me does to me? You
r scent is enthralling, and I can't wait to taste you."

Gasping, her
breath caught in her throat.

He leaned forward, his mouth connecting with her core. The ground shifted. Her knee
s buckled. His grip on her hip tightened, keeping her upright as he delved deeper with his tongue.

A tremor ran through her body, pleasure rising like a fever. She clutched his shoulders
, steadying herself. Nothing else compared to the sensations he elicited from her when he was touching her like this. Not the orgasm she'd had yesterday with the aid of the sex toys under his command nor even her own fingers could give her this much exhilaration.

He teased her, his tongue circled her clit,
and then his teeth nipped at it. Her breath rasped in her throat when she suddenly couldn't breathe easily. Tightening her grip on his shoulders, her fingernails scraped his skin.

Gosh,
she wanted him. Inside her.

His mouth continued exploring, teasing, tongue circling, probing, wriggling, teeth scraping, nipping, and lips sucking and blowing until she was mindless and her body was canting out of control.

"I … need you." She couldn't even string together a sentence. "Inside me … please."

"Not yet."

Warm air feathered her already sensitive flesh, adding to push her closer to the edge. He thrust his fingers inside her. She didn't know how many. Wet sounds combined with the rasping sound of her breathing. All she knew was that they filled her up. The combination of the friction of his mouth against her mound and his hand fucking her drove to hover uncontrollably over the abyss. She held back just above it.

Something primal within her still wanted his control, his permission. Despite everything.

"Ben?"

"Come for me, Lina."

And she tumbled, headlong, into pleasure, powerful and mind-blowing. He was there to catch her and hold her as her body jerked from shock after shock. When she came to, she tried to stand, but her body was limp.

As always he was there, thinking ahead. He stood u
p, scooped her into his arms and set her back on the table.

Samuel Barber's Adagio was playing, the sensual music heightening her mood.

"Later I'm going to take you back to the bedroom, tie you to it, and love you until you're sated. Then I'm going to blindfold you and feed you breakfast, so that all you have to do is focus on enjoying the here and now."

"I'd like that."

He started undoing his shirt buttons and ripped it off. Buttons flew and he tossed the shirt on the sofa. This was the first time she'd seen him toss his clothes like that. He was usually more methodical. He undid his fly, pushed his trousers down, and stepped out of them.

She'd seen her husband naked before. But each time was a little like the first time. Today he was even more glorious and powerful—from the strength of his broad shoulders to the slim line of his hips, from the cocooning qualities of his arms to the hardness of his thighs and even the now swollen erection
with the tip glistening with his pearl, he was all masculine.

"But for now, I'm going to bury my dick deep into
your pussy and just feel you, Lina." His voice was gruff and packed with heat just like his gaze.

"I'm not going to be slow or gentle."

"I don't want you to be."

He nodded. "Lean back on the table, anchor your body with your hands, so that it's curved up, your breasts in offering to me." His voice was so low, just above a whisper.

A part of her melted in response to his command. She needed this man. He didn't need to shout at her for her to do his bidding. His gentle whispers were enough to get her carrying out his instructions.

"Now, spread your legs. I want to make sure you're ready for me."

She moved her legs apart eager to have him between them.

"Oh, you are such a good girl. I love the way you get so wet so quickly."

He pressed his thumb on her swollen clit. She nearly jumped off the table but tightened her grip, anchored down by the thought that he wanted her there.

Gripping her hip
s, he positioned his hips between her legs, the broad head of his cock nudging her entrance. She held her breath in anticipation.

With one shove, he pushed in, her insides welcoming his hardness, clenching.
She moved her hips to accommodate him in her tight channel, rising up to meet him. He withdrew and plunged deeper, harder.

She cried out, letting go, letting her body relax and accept his supremacy for these moments.

"Oh, Lina. You are so hot, so slick."

With one hand he gripped the back of her head in a handful of hair and tugged her forward.
And then he was kissing her, his tongue thrusting back and forth, marauding, just as he started moving his hips in a similar motion.

He raised his head, locking gazes with her.

"If you let me, I will love you ‘til the day I die." His voice was gravelly with emotion.

Her heart clenched in response. She believed him. He would never hand her over to be harmed.
She was back in that mindless zone again, all sensation and no thoughts. His motions drove her closer to the edge again. His thrusts were fast, hard, deep, plunging, withdrawing, taking, and giving. Driving her insane with overflowing need.

She cried out, forgetting even how to breath
e, letting his body's impact on hers control her intake of air. She lifted her legs, crossing her feet over his taut butt cheek, using them as a way to feel his body since she couldn’t touch him.

Soon the wave was rising, cresting taking her to the zone where she could only think with her heart.

"I love you, Ben," she said just as she surfed the tip of the wave.

"And I love you
, too, Lina. Fly for me."

How could she not? She let go and flew, knowing he would always be beside her, guarding her body and heart.

With a loud grunt he pumped his seed into her clenching channel that milked him until he collapsed on top of her. He took most of his weight on his arms instead of crushing her body.

She didn't know how long they stayed there, their harsh breathing mixing with the classical music.

He put his hands under her and carried her to the door.

"Ben, we don't have any clothes on. What if Beatrice comes out?"

He chuckled. "One thing you need to know about my sister, she
doesn't get out of bed before 9A.M. at the weekend especially after she's been partying all night."

She smiled. "I think we might want to take a cue from her and get some sleep
, too. I didn't sleep much last night, and it looks like you didn't either."

He took her back to their bedroom,
laid her gently on the bed, and joined her in it, pulling the sheet over them as he spooned her body.

"Why did you tell me to give the bracelet to Louisa?" he asked. Soft lips brushed against her right shoulder, a warm shiver slithering down her spine, warring with the shame tightening her belly.

Burrowing into the pillows, she hid her face.

"I'm sorry," she said in a muffled voice.

Warm lips continued their journey on her back downwards, soon joined by questing fingers, creating soft brushstrokes on canvas. Awareness flared again, overshadowing her remorse.

A mewl escaped her lips
, and she melted into the sheets.

"Have I ever given you reason to think
there was someone else?"

Her mind was already lost in the
sensations taking over her body, so it took her a few seconds to process his question and the censure in his tone.

"No. Never." Her
face heated with guilt again, and she shut her eyes.

Firm fingers clasp
ed around her lower arm as another hand tugged her until she was lying on her stomach.

"And yet you questioned my integrity in the presence of my
sister and her friend."

A clicking sound. Metal bit into her wrist. Alarmed, she yanked her head up from the pillow
. Sure enough, chrome cuffs linked her right hand to the bed post. Punishment cuffs! He only ever put them on her when she was about to be reprimanded for her demerits. She pulled, and the rings clanged and stayed, the metal biting into her skin. Her bum cheeks were still sore from yesterday's paddling.

She swall
owed down the panic and turned to meet his gaze. Grey eyes filled with quiet confidence met hers. There was no anger. No disappointment. Was there a glint of amusement?

He stretched out his hand, palm open, waiting.

The significance of his gesture wasn't lost on her. She read his actions easily. Consistent. Reliable. Self-controlled actions.

"Your submission is a gift. It is for you to offer it freely
, not something to be forced out of you or taken by force," he had told her once.

And he had never taken it. If that didn't make him trustworthy, what did?

So why do I continually fail him?

Lifting her hand, she placed it into his.

"I just didn't like the way she was looking at you." Despite her shame in admitting the truth, she felt better saying it out loud to him. "I was jealous. I'm sorry.  I should've trusted you."

"You should've," he said.
"I have no interest in Louisa, not now. Not ever."

He
leaned down and brushed warm lips against her knuckles, straddling her. His hot, heavy erection pressed between her ass cheeks.

"T
he only woman I want kneeling at my feet, the only one I want to fuck and make love to, is lying beneath me right now."

Arousal flared again, dripping down her thigh.

He secured her left hand to the other post. She tested the binding again, and it rattled.

She was thoroughly secured. She swallowed again, the sound loud in her ears. Panic and desire fought for dominance in her veins.

He disappeared from view. She heard the sound of a drawer opening.

"So do you trust me now?" His deep voice resonated within her belly, a
hint of uncertainty adding gravels to the sound.

Her stomach tightened
, and momentarily she hated herself for putting that uncertainty into him.

"I do, Benjamin." Tears clogged her eyes and dropped onto the pillow. "I'm sorry I haven't been good enough for you
." Her voice was choked.

A hand brushed her hair away from her face. Warm air whispered on her cheek before his lips pressed against her skin, kissing her tears.

"Shhh. No crying, beauty." His voice was low and velvety. "You're perfect for me."

She opened her eyes and stared at him, unbelieving his words.

"Yes, you have always been perfect for me."

"Even when I was being stubborn and disobedient?"

"Even then. I expected it." He smiled, the luscious uplift of the corners of his lips that always got her heart racing.

"A strong beautiful woman like you who hadn't trusted any man in the past ten years wasn't just going to fall to her knees for me without my working for it."