Secrets & Surrender 3 (3 page)

“What do you mean ‘intentionally’?” Her voice was a disbelieving whisper.

I took a deep breath, bracing myself for her reaction. Hoping that the love in her eyes would still be there after I gave my answer.

“My mother reported your mother.”

Her face paled. She looked at me as if I were a stranger. It was the worst moment of my life. I might as well have said that I had made the call.

Next to her, Julian nodded as if he had suspected it all along.

“I didn’t know about it until last night,” I added quickly. “I don’t know exactly how she did it. I overheard her on the phone talking to Sheriff Baker. I think she bribed him. Something to do with his re-election campaign.”

She opened and closed her mouth as if trying to say something. Nothing would come out. Instead, tears streamed down her face.

Heaven help me, the agony in her eyes was excruciating. “I’m so sorry, Mandi. I don’t know how she found out. I swear, I didn’t say a word to her.”

She shook her head. “I...I...I’m sorry, Nic. I can’t do this. I can’t.” She turned, running toward the house. Her heart wrenching sobs tore into me.

“Mandi!” At the sound of my voice, she paused at the bottom of the porch steps. Just as I reached out to comfort her, Julian’s hand clamped down on my arm.

“Don’t touch her,” he seethed.

I gazed into the enraged eyes of the person I had once thought of as a friend. The man had taught me the very love songs I played for Mandi whenever we took a break from studying. We had laughed together over his cousin’s crazy antics, which he’d shared with me whole-heartedly. Once, he had even told me how lucky I was that I had a sister and didn’t have to live in an older brother’s shadow, like he did. I had thought he was my friend. But all along, he had wanted Mandi. And even after she had abandoned their dance performance last spring and made it perfectly clear to him that she wanted me, he still wanted her. It was as if he had been biding his time, waiting for his opportunity to pounce. He had expected me to fuck up, and when I did, he had planned to swoop in and take my place beside her.

“Get your hand off me,” I growled, jerking my arm out of his grasp.

“Take a hint, Marcelli. You’re not welcome here.” Shoving me aside, he placed an arm around Mandi’s shoulders and softly crooned, “Let’s go inside.”

“Get the fuck away from her!” I lunged at him. His fists beat against my shoulders, fighting against my death grip as we fell. His back slammed against the front pathway. Cursing, he shoved upward, his massive biceps lifting me off of him. In one swift move, he positioned himself over me. His fists hammered my stomach.

Hunching over, I tried to protect my already sore ribs while at the same time throwing him everything I had. My fists barely grazed his shoulders as he moved swiftly left to right like a boxer.

In between his curses, I heard Mandi screaming in the background. I couldn’t let her see me like this. Julian was not going to take me down.

With a roar, I pressed my palms against his chest. I could feel the veins in my neck and arms pop up as I heaved Julian’s massive body off me.

A flicker of surprise passed over his face before my fist smashed into his chin. Immediately, he covered his head with his arms. One after another, my fists flew, beating into that stupid tattoo of his. Frustrated, I slammed a fist into his ribs, then another and another. Months of pent up rage slammed into that asshole’s body. He stole my trust. He stole the Ruizes. He was trying to steal my Mandi.

Sweat poured down my face, stinging my eyes until I couldn’t see, causing me to miss Julian’s left fist before it connected to my side. Instinctually, my hand flew to my side for protection. Grabbing hold of my shirt collar, Julian jumped up pulling me with him. He drew back his fist, his eyes filled with fury. I shoved him hard, the momentum causing us both to stumble.

Panting, I glared at him as he crouched, ready to take me on again. Hate radiated from every single inch of my body.

“Come on, fucker!” My hands motioned for him to come and get me.

“No problem. I’ve been fighting rich white boys like you my whole life.” He spat red onto the ground. “You have no idea what kind of ass-kicking you’re in for.”

“Stop it! Both of you!”

I froze at the sound of Mr. Ruiz’s angry voice. Through blurred vision, I could just see him standing by the door of his minivan. I should’ve felt guilty, but the relief on Julian’s bruised face and the sound of his subtle groaning as he rubbed his ribs was hard for me to miss. I couldn’t help but be proud knowing that I could have and would have put him down.

“Dad!” Mandi rushed into his arms, crying.

“What’s going on here?” Holding Mandi close, Mr. Ruiz eyed us hard. Julian and I answered in unison.

“I came to explain about yesterday. I wanted to help—”

“He was fighting with Juan, Mr. Ruiz. I stopped him and—”

“Silencio! Mandi, why is Nic here?”

My stomach fell when Mr. Ruiz singled me out. And if I thought I could get away with it, I would’ve finished what I’d started and beat the shit out of Julian’s smug face.

Red-rimmed eyes looked to me before she spoke. Every single word twisted like a knife in my heart because it was true. It was a truth that could keep me from Mandi and her family, no matter how hard I tried to win her back. “He came to tell me that his mother was the one who told the authorities about Mom.”

Mr. Ruiz’s face was a mask when he looked over at me. I’ve always known him to be a fair and just man. After all, this was the same man who had welcomed me into his family like a son. Would he remember those words he had spoken to me so long ago, when I’d professed my love to Mandi in front of him and his wife?

He studied me for a moment, and then let out a slow breath. “Nic, the family is having a difficult time right now. It may be best for you to go home.”

My heart stopped, and I tried to remember to breathe. I couldn’t move. I looked to Mandi, her head was buried in her father’s chest.

Please, Mandi. Please look at me.

“Mr. Ruiz, I’m sorry. I didn’t want this to happen. I’d never do anything to hurt your family.”

“I know that. But right now, I have a lot to deal with. We’ll talk soon. I promise.”

I held onto his words like a life raft as I walked slowly to my car. He wasn’t completely kicking me out. But even so, Mandi kept her eyes downcast as I passed her.

“Julian, your brother wants you go to his office,” he said. “He needs you to help with Flor’s case. I have some paperwork inside that you should take to him.”

Bile filled my throat knowing that it was Julian who was by Mr. Ruiz’s side, fighting to get his wife, Flor, back home. Not me. I was a reminder of how a loving family had been torn apart.

Following Mr. Ruiz into the house, Julian smirked then whispered something to Mandi. The last thing I saw as I drove off was the soft smile on her face when she looked up at Julian.

I
stared out the screen door at the spot where Nic had parked his car, wishing that it would somehow magically reappear, wishing that somehow I could go back in time and say the things that I’d wanted to say, to tell Juan to fuck off and demand that Julian leave. I wanted Nic. I needed him.

I’d always felt helpless around Julian, but Nic, Nic understood me. He never shutdown any of my opinions, even if they differed from his. And he always listened to my dreams. It never bothered him that I made better grades than he did or that math came easier to me than him. He’d just sit back and smile, his eyes filled with pride. He was the wind that lifted me, letting me soar through the sky.

And Julian? I couldn’t turn him away. How could I? If it weren’t for his brother, Mom would’ve ended up at a detention center hundreds of miles away instead of in San Antonio. When Julian had whispered to me that his brother wouldn’t let him go near the case if he’d thought it was a lost cause, I knew it was a good sign. I owed him and his brother everything.

“Manuela, come and sit down. You look tired,” Dad said.

Sighing, I sank into the sofa. He was right. I was tired, tired of keeping a lifetime of secrets, tired of being the strong one.

Folding my arms across my chest, I swallowed the resentment that shouldn’t have been there. I couldn’t help it. All of this mess was falling onto my shoulders. It affected everyone in the family, my education, and even my relationship with Nic. I closed my eyes, fighting against the horrid thought that I was actually angry with my own mother for putting me in this mess in the first place.

“Dad?” Gazing at the floor, I slowly asked the question that I’d never dared to ask in all the years since I’d come to know about my mother’s secret. “Why didn’t Mom just get her paperwork like you did?”

My eyes drifted up, afraid to look at my father’s face. When my eyes finally met his, they were sad, remorseful. My heart ached for him. “I’m sorry, Dad. You and Mom have given us everything. I’m sure you had your reasons. I don’t need to know.”

“Yes, you do.” He placed a hand over mine. I stared down at his roughened, brown hands as he spoke. Those hands had worked to the bone to keep us fed, clothed, and in a place that we could call home. Those hands had held me with love, always with love.

“Before you were born, I went to Los Angeles on a temporary work permit. Recruiters from a canning factory there came down to Saltillo to recruit workers. I didn’t want to go, but we just weren’t making enough to live on. I wanted to save enough money to build a life for your mother and to help her family too. She stayed in Mexico while I worked.” He paused, letting out a breath as he stared off into space, remembering. “I missed her so much. Every day away from her was like a year.”

I nodded. I felt the same way about Nic. It hadn’t even been an hour and my arms already ached for him. I could only imagine how my father felt being so far away from the woman he loved and not being able to see or hear from her.

“When I was finally able to call her a couple of months later, she told me the news that she was pregnant with you. I wanted her with me. I couldn’t stand the thought of her being away from me any longer. I asked my boss to give her a work permit too. He didn’t want to at first. But he finally gave in when I agreed that he could pay her less than what the other workers were making. And, God forgive me, I didn’t tell him she was pregnant. I knew he would’ve never allowed it if he knew. But I just had to have her with me. I love her so much.

“You should have seen her back then.” Turning to me, his lips curled into a gentle smile. “So carefree and full of spirit. You look just like her when she was your age.” He brushed my hair off my face, kissing my forehead.

“So she did come here legally?”

His eyes widened with surprise. “Of course she did.”

“I don’t understand. Why were we supposed to keep it a secret all these years? Why did she get arrested? Was it a mistake?” Hope leaped in my chest. Maybe it was a mistake. I’d heard about people with the same names being accidentally deported. Maybe that’s what had happened with Mom. I jumped up. “We need to tell Julian’s brother. Maybe he can get her out until all of this is cleared up.”

“It’s not a mistake.”

“You just said she came with a permit. All she has to do is show them the papers.”

He swallowed thickly. Taking my hand into his, he gently pulled me to sit by his side. “It was only good for a few years. We...we never renewed it.”

“Why?”

“We submitted a petition for your mother to get a green card. But the waiting list was so long. Years. And after she had you, she couldn’t work in the factory anymore. I wouldn’t let her. They had us working twelve to fifteen hours with only a fifteen-minute lunch break. We tried finding her a better job. But we couldn’t find any that would support a permit for her.”

“So you’re still waiting?”

“Yes. We made a mistake.”

“Oh, Dad!” I sobbed.

He gathered me into his arms, rocking me as I cried into his chest. “We made a mistake. Please forgive us. At the time, we thought we were doing what was best for you. Then Juan came and Miguelito and Selina. We just wanted a good life for you, a better life than we could give you in Saltillo. That’s all we ever wanted.”

“I love you, Dad. I’m sorry for being mad.”

“I know. And I understand. We’ve asked a lot from you to keep the secret. Your mother and I know that it wasn’t fair for you and Juan to carry the burden.”

“I never should’ve been with Nic. Then this never would’ve happened.”

“There’s no blame here. Your mother and I take full responsibility for our mistakes.”

I looked up at him with surprise. “You’re not mad at Nic?”

“This is not his fault. He loves you very much. What matters is that when you asked him to keep a secret, he kept his word. And even when you were upset with him, he still came back for you. It takes a lot of love to push back your pride and fight for someone you love. He fought your brother, he fought Julian, and he even fought himself. He could’ve argued with me when I asked him to leave. He didn’t because he’s a man of honor. That’s the kind of man my little girl deserves.”

“You want me to be with Nic?” Blinking, tears rolled down my face. “I don’t understand. I thought you liked Julian.”

“Julian’s a nice young man, and I like him and his family. They’ve done much to help us. But he’s not the one for you. Nic is the one that brings the light in your eyes. It’s the same light I see whenever your mother looks at me. I don’t ever want to take that away from you. I’ve been without that light before. I know what it feels like, and I don’t ever want to have you go through that kind of pain.”

I gazed into my father’s understanding eyes and wished I could tell him how I wanted to be with Nic, but that I was afraid that I’d make Mom’s chances of being released worse if I did. If I went with Nic, his mother might do something worse to Mom and maybe even have Dad fired. And then there was Julian. Would his jealousy prevent him and his brother from helping us? “Dad, I’m so confused. I don’t know what to do.”

He kissed my forehead. “Listen to your heart. In time, you’ll hear the answer.”