Secrets (The Forever series, Book 8) (26 page)

“Mother,” I say quietly, waiting for the “dealing” to begin.

She holds out Her hand and I take it as Finn disappears into
the dark. I gulp but She smiles at me. “I am sorry, my daughter, about what you
endured. I had feared you going there without the proper preparation, but I
thought your father,” She spits the word out, “would have taken better care of
you.”

“It wasn’t his fault,” I say, going to Drake’s defense.

Her perfect eyebrows shoot up. “You defend him? What right
does he have for such devotion from you?”

“He is my father,” I say.

“Hah!” She says. “He has no right to call himself that.”

“Yes, he does,” I say boldly, and then flinch as She glares
at me, but I continue. “It is not his fault that he didn’t know about me. You
kept it from him.”

I am mad at Her for keeping this a secret and I want Her to
know.

“For your own good,” She snaps. “You are
my
daughter.
My heir. Your place is on this side. Not theirs.”

“Well, it’s a bit late for that,” I say wearily.

“You have sworn allegiance?” She asks in disbelief.

Err. “Not officially,” I begin and She makes a noise of
disgust, “but I am prepared to do my duty to him.”

“Never,” She says to me. “You will not produce a Faerie
baby. Do you understand me?”

“I don’t plan on,” I say, a bit miffed that She is dictating
to me. “I will go and have this Union with Sebastian, but it ends there.”

She shakes Her head at me. “And how do you propose to tell
the Faerie that year after year you are still not pregnant?”

It’s a valid question and one I have been pondering.
Honestly, my brain is fried at the moment with all I need to plan.

“I don’t know,” I say and She hisses at me, as in a proper
reptilian hiss and it makes me recoil slightly. “I will think of something,” I
add lamely.

She turns from me and starts pacing. “They won’t accept
anything other than their desired outcome. You should be aware of that by now.
You have seen the lengths they will go to.”

“Look,” I say and She turns back to me. “I have had a long
few days and I am starving and exhausted. Finn, ah, To’kah,” I amend at Her
look, “said something about you doing something to me. If it is just to berate
me, consider me berated and let me go home.”

“The berating is just a necessity,
ValamAtrux
. You
are losing your way and I cannot allow it to continue.”

“What is my way exactly? You have given me all of these
Powers, all of these different parts to me, and it is confusing. I am supposed
to be all Powerful, and yet I get taken out with a binding spell? It makes no
sense to me,” I complain.

“Your Powers, my dear, were supposed to be given to you a
thousand years ago,” She stops pacing and stands in front of me. “The transfer
was supposed to be complete and they were to grow and develop over the
centuries, until you were experienced enough to take my place. This is my
error, and I will fix it,” She says.

“What do you mean?” I ask, getting a hint of something I’m
not sure I’m going to like very much.

“At this point in time, you should be infinitely more
Powerful than you are. I should have factored this in, I should have foreseen
that it would be a problem. We cannot wait another few hundred years for you to
be what you are supposed to be now.”

Huh?

She places Her hand on my chest and pushes me back. I hit
the wall and I am terrified now at the look on Her face. She has a burning
intensity in Her eyes that freaks me out. “I should have issued this to you in
the first place, you weren’t ready and you aren’t now, but you are strong. I am
sure you will survive.” Her hand gets hotter and I feel it burn me as the fear
courses through me at Her words. I feel my feet leave the ground and She steps
back, but I keep rising up, my back scraping against the cave wall. A pure
electric current is running between us, hurting my eyes after the dimness in
the cave, but I can’t take my eyes off my mother’s. “I am issuing you, your full
Power,
ValamAtrux
,” She says as the current ricochets around my body,
causing me to spasm and my hair to stand on end. “Your accelerated Powers will
be more than a match for any who try to take you down.” Her voice is booming
around the cave and I am petrified.

What is She doing to me?

“I will not have my daughter weak!” She screams and the
current intensifies and it brings tears to my eyes, which is a bad move because
the electricity sparks up on my cheeks as they fall, blinding me momentarily.
“I will not have my daughter be bound!” Tiamat’s voice is rising by the second
and it is most definitely not natural. It is coming from all around me, I can
hear it with my ears, but also inside my head. It’s deafening as She shrieks,
“I will not have my daughter be whore to a Fae King!”

On the final word, lightning shoots out of both of Her hands
and into me and I have a seizure, in mid-air, which seems to last for eternity.
The pain is ripping through me and it feels like it is taking my limbs with it.
I convulse one last time before She lets me go and I drop to the cave floor in
a quivering, twitching, drooling heap.

Minutes pass, the only sound in the cave is my ragged
breathing. It hurts. It feels like my lungs have been scorched and my insides
are on fire. My brain has most definitely been fried, and this time I do mean
literally. If Ahmed had given me this nine months ago, I probably would have
died. No wonder She wanted it to grow and develop naturally over time. This
much Power was not meant to be dealt out in one go. Still twitching, but my
breathing becoming easier, Tiamat crouches next to me. “You can handle it
ValamAtrux
,”
She murmurs to me as She strokes my back. “Let it settle and then we will
balance you.”

I am incapable of speech and even nodding feels like an
impossibility. I have enough brain functionality to wonder what this balancing
thing is and to know that I want it before I explode into a million pieces.
Tiamat continues to stroke my back and when I feel like I can sit up, She helps
me.

“To’kah is not yet ready to take you in. You will use my
Guardian this time.” She helps me stand, gripping my hand tightly. “Lo’kar?”
She calls out and I look up as an enormous man steps out of the shadows. He is
huge, and naked. I fully register Her words and I shrink back against the wall.
I don’t know what “take you in” means, but if it involves a lack of clothing, I
am out.

“Do not be afraid, daughter,” She says to me. “He will not
harm you. He needs to balance your Power. Come.” She tugs on my hand and I
meekly follow Her to stand in front of the huge naked man. I stare up into his
eyes and see him looking at Tiamat with a fierce love. I look back at Tiamat,
and She has the same love in Her eyes for him. Oh, they are lovers, this is so
awkward. I cast my eyes down, but that is the wrong thing to do, being that he
has no clothes on and is very large in that area, making it hard not to look.
My eyes shoot back to his and I see now that he is an older, bigger version of
To’kah. I am guessing father and son. Tiamat takes me by the shoulders and turns
me around so my back is facing Lo’kar. I breathe a sigh of relief that I don’t
have to look at him anymore. Finn has joined us and is watching intently as
Tiamat steps back. She indicates that I should remove my clothing, but I shake
my head. After what happened with Aelfric, I feel extremely vulnerable and I am
not disrobing in front of strangers for all the tea in China. I see a look of
understanding pass over Her face and She says softly, “He needs to get to your
Dragon, just remove your shirt. You will be safe, I promise you, you will not
be harmed.”

I look back over my shoulder, but Lo’kar isn’t looking at
me, he is looking at Tiamat, and casting a quick glance at Finn. He isn’t
looking at me either, he is looking at his father. I quickly pull my long-sleeved
t-shirt over my head and place it in front of my breasts, gripping it to my
chest tightly. Tiamat nods stiffly and Her gaze hardens as She sees the burn
marks that Aelfric made, that still have not healed, and the Royal Faerie
markings adorning my arms. “Proceed,” She orders.

I stand there cowering as I feel Lo’kar place his hands on
my back, but then all my anxiety leaves me as the Dragon on my back accepts his
touch. She is starting to get warm, but pleasantly so, and in the gloom I can
see a golden glow coming from Her. Lo’kar steps back, removing his hands from
me and the strangest sensation goes over me. It is like he is peeling the
marking off my back. It doesn’t hurt, but it is definitely weird. I hear him
step back further and further until I can feel the Dragon gone completely from
my skin. My anxiety returns tenfold and I start to shiver violently. Tiamat
comes to stand next to me and puts Her arms around me, soothing me. This is the
most contact I have had with Her since I met Her, and I sink into Her embrace.
“Turn around,” She says. My eyes widen, but I shake my head.

“Turn around,” She says again. “Watch what he is doing.”

I have to admit, I am curious, so I hesitantly turn around
and my mouth drops open in shock. Lo’kar is standing there with his head thrown
back, his arms stretched out to the sides, his long black hair floating gently
in the flap of my Dragon’s wings as She grows. Her outline is a glowing gold,
and She is the most beautiful thing I have ever seen. As She reaches the height
of Lo’kar, She sinks into his skin and he absorbs Her completely. He starts a
chant, in a language that I don’t understand, but I have heard Tiamat use it
before, when She turned back time. The gentle wind picks up and he is now
glowing the same gold as my Dragon was. My jaw drops even further as I see that
he is highly aroused, which probably is why he has to do this naked. No
clothing, no matter how loose, would be able to contain what is going on down
there. I blush furiously, bringing my eyes back up to his face, really not
wanting to think of him and my mother together. Gross, gross, gross. I cover my
eyes and Tiamat turns me back around. I thankfully open my eyes to look into
the gloom of the cave again and I feel Lo’kar move forward and place his hands
on my back again, replacing my Dragon. As the ritual is complete, I feel
completely at peace now. The raging Power that I had felt before he took Her is
now a simmer and all the anxiety is gone. I pull my t-shirt back over my head
and turn to thank Lo’kar, but he is backing into the shadows and has
disappeared before I can open my mouth.

“To’kah will do this for you. You should engage in this
ritual at least once a month to start with, and definitely after you have
exerted a full force of Power. Your body is strong, but you need a Guardian to
soothe the Power and to keep it calm. You must use him,
ValamAtrux
. Do
not go your usual way of thinking that you can handle everything by yourself.”

I nod, thinking, yeah, I’ve heard that before. This, however,
is definitely something I am going to have to keep on top of.

“Go now,” She says. “Let your husband comfort you.”

I look up at her. Is She joking? I am not telling Cole, or
anyone else about what happened with Aelfric. When I said come clean before, I
meant about the Faerie thing. Not about that.

“Do not keep this from him,” She warns. “It will come out
eventually and he will be more hurt that you didn’t trust him enough to tell
him in the first place.”

“No, it will hurt him if I tell him,” I insist.

“Aefre,” She sighs, reverting to my birth name, “He is not
the weakling you make him out to be.”

“I never said he was weak!” I say, indignant that she thinks
that is what I meant.

“You do not think he is strong,” She contradicts me. “One of
many reasons he was Chosen is for his fortitude. Dealing with your life is no
easy chore and it will only become even more intense. He is handling it quite
well by all accounts. Well, leaving you aside, of course,” She adds wryly.

Of course. “What specific purpose does he have?” I have to
ask. “You said before the time shift that he had to be by my side, as my
husband.”

“All will be revealed in good time. Just know that he is the
one, Aefre. Do not push him away.”

The one? The one what?

“Tell him of your ordeal and let him comfort you,” She says
again. “You will need to explain your accelerated Powers and the presence of
To’kah in your life. Do not make the mistake of lying to get away from it.”

Says She who asked me to lie to Cole, and to all of them, in
the first place about what happened in the Other world.

“Very well,” I sigh. I have one more question and this is
the best chance that I am going to get a proper answer. “Who exactly is
Remiel?”

She narrows Her eyes at me. “You do not need to know the
answer to that to defeat him.”

“I don’t want to defeat him. I want to know who he is and
why you killed him?”

“If you do not defeat him, he will use you for his own end,”
She says.

“What is his own end?” I press.

She deliberates for a long moment. “You are the key to his
survival. More so now.”

“How so and why did you kill him?” I want an answer and I’m
not going anywhere until She tells me.

“I killed him because I made a mistake. He is a failed
experiment, Aefre,” She admits in desperation.

What? I stare at Her in shock. A failed experiment? “What do
you mean?”

“Enough questions,” She barks at me. “Know that if you don’t
defeat him, he will become a foe that you will not want.”

“If he is such a threat, why don’t you take him out?” I ask.

She glowers at me as I had ignored Her order and asked
another question. “I loved him,” She says softly. “He was my flesh and blood
and he was special, but I ruined him. I have slain him once, I will not do it
again. It is your responsibility now. He is not your ally, Aefre, no matter
what you might think. He has a way of swaying one’s opinions.”