Seduce Me (8 page)

I swipe my hand across my face standing up. “I just need some fucking sleep.”

Nothing. I feel nothing inside like I’m a void of a person, a waste of flesh and bones. My heart has no feeling; its only purpose is to keep me alive for some reason. Lying in this bed, all I do is exist breathing in air and taking it away from someone else on the planet. I haven’t been to class at all this week and more than likely, won’t go next week either. What the hell’s the point? My baby is dead. Gone. And what’s worse, there isn’t even a body to bury. Nothing, like I never had a life in my body, never carried it for weeks, never grew attached. Nothing. I can’t go visit my baby like I do Dad. The baby just vanished like she was nothing in this world.

“Casey. You have to get out of bed.” Bella comes by four or five times a day trying to get me to leave this bed. I’m now sorry I gave her a damn key to the place because all I want is to be left alone. “You have to eat. Come on.” I groan. I hate eating. I hate breathing for that matter. I thought the death of Dad was hard; this is a whole different kind of pain. One that has so many ‘what if…’ questions that it shreds my heart with each passing minute. I don’t even know why I exist anymore. At least with my baby, I had a purpose and a cause. Now, I have nothing.

“Jace is coming over to help me give you a shower. It’s either we give it to you or you take it yourself, but girl you are getting washed. You stink. And you are eating. I can see your damn bones Casey.”

I tune her out, close my eyes and will myself to sleep.

I’m coming to the realization fast that this pain in my chest will never go away. It’s so deeply embedded that nothing will help it or me. But I am trying to move. At least around the apartment. After Bella and Jace had given me their wonderful pep talks, I came to the conclusion that they weren’t going to leave me the hell alone and short of shooting them both, I needed to at least appear to want to get myself together.

But I refuse to go to classes. I told them I had a medical emergency and left it at that. My professors gave my assignments to Bella, but they sit on my desk untouched.

I’m never alone though. Either Bella or Jace is here at all times. I should be grateful to have them, but I’d really like it if they left me alone. They walk around on eggshells around me. Always giving each other looks and having some silent conversation between themselves. It feels like they want me to blow, but I have no desire to. There is no reason.

“What do ya want to do today?” Jace asks from the couch where he’s lounged with his feet up clicking through the channels on the TV. If I were in my right mind, I would tell him to get out and stop acting like this is his place. But I can’t and won’t.

“Nothing.” It’s my answer to his question every time he asks.

“Let’s watch a movie, you pick.” He pushes.

“No.” I walk around to the fridge, opening the door and closing it just as quickly. Nothing sounds good and my stomach roils just thinking about food. Crackers… Maybe crackers.

“What’s that noise?” Jace moves towards me trying to figure out where it’s coming from. And I listen hearing a slight sound and instantly know.

Shit. “That’s my phone. I need to find it.” I slowly look for the pre-paid phone that if I don’t answer will set off a shit storm back at the club that I am in no way shape or form able to handle at the moment.

Digging through the pile of papers, I find it inside my brown bag. I quickly swipe the screen and put on my happiest voice I can come up with.
Faker.

“Hey.” I answer quickly moving away from Jace.

“Hey Hoochie! When you coming to see me?” The happiness in Harlow’s voice radiates through the phone only making me feel lower.

“I can’t come right now. Classes and work.” Lying to her sucks. I always hate it and rarely do it, but this time it is a necessary evil. The clearing of a throat makes my eyes lift to Jace’s who shakes his head. I glare at him not needing his shit right now. Why won’t he just go away?

I turn my back hoping to snub him. “How’s life up in Cherry Vale?

Horrible. “Great. Everything’s going good.”

“You’re lying to me.” My breath catches and I sit there for a beat. “You’re never this happy or perky, even when you’re in a good mood. Care to tell me what the hell is going on?”

The hand holding my phone begins to shake and my happy resolve is beginning to fade. I think quick, “School’s just tough, but I’m getting it. Everything is fine.” I try to say reassuringly.

“Yeah. Right. I don’t believe you, something is up. And I will find out what it is.” My heart stops. “I’ll drop it for now, but I won’t forget. Cruz and Cooper send their love. Cooper is just a great little boy Casey. He’s growing up so fast. I wish you were here to see it.” Tears well up in my eyes for the baby that I will never see grow, never see take her first steps or her first bite of real food, never get to hold. I move the phone away from my face and blow out a deep breath, bringing it back to my mouth, trying to calm myself.

“Tell them I miss them too. Low, I have a huge test coming up. I’ve really got to go.” Or else I am totally going to lose my shit.

“Alright. I know something’s not right. You’d better be okay. If you don’t tell me by the next time I call, I’m coming up there.” Shit. Harlow never gives up.

“Yep. Just busy. I’ll call you back soon. Okay?”

“Alright. Love you.”

“Love you too.” I click the phone off quickly; my legs give out, my ass hits the floor with a thud, my body follows behind it. Jace immediately wraps his arms around me, picking me up, cradling me to his chest like an infant. Tears fall rapidly down my face and Jace clutches me tight to his chest.

Pulling up to a wide open space, Rabbit’s crew is waiting for us. These past few months with Rabbit have been rocky as shit. From shootouts, beat downs, destruction of property and Babs, Rabbit’s ol’ lady, setting Princess up and kidnapping Cooper her son, it’s been a giant cluster fuck. We handled it but not exactly how we wanted to. Supposedly, Diamond says it’s all fine and wonderful. Sure. Rabbit hasn’t gotten what he deserves yet.

Rabbit stands next to his bike with several of his guys lining the way, each having guns in their hands, which is typical. If they didn’t, I’d think something is up.

Diamond, Pops, Dagger, Rhys, Cruz, Zed, Becs and myself all climb off our bikes putting our lids on the bars, while Tug, Breaker and Buzz slowly park the large cage that housed everything we would need, just in case. Diamond steps forward, but before a word escapes his mouth, shots are fired loudly all around us. Every brother scrambles to get behind our bikes as shields. It’s the best we’ve got at the moment.

Looking around quickly, each man has their guns drawn firing rapidly. Looking across the lot, Rabbit’s crew has moved back from where they were standing, but not shooting, their guns at their sides. But their eyes are cold and locked on all of us. Searching for where the shots are coming from, out from the side, a local crew called the T-Darts come at us guns blazing. One shot after another barely missing us as the pings of the bullets hit the bikes guarding us.

Stepping slightly out from behind a large tree, Paine, the President of the T-Darts, aims at us hard. His void eyes are focused and controlled. This is serious shit. “We gotta get the fuck out of here!” I yell to all the guys trying to motion them to the cage.

“Get behind us!” Dagger yells to Diamond, but he doesn’t fucking listen, the damn stubborn ol’ man. Instead, he starts moving with the rest of us guns still blazing.

“Pops behind me!” I yell, but he is just as bullheaded as Diamond and continues to move with us.

Diamond barks, “Get to the cage! Now!”

Shot after shot hit the dirt and our bikes ringing off into the distance. Trying to keep an accurate account on where all the shots are coming from is getting fucking difficult. We move quickly and keep pace with each other. Diamond is moving right in front of me as I try to position my body in front of him.

Loud grunts. Fuck. Diamond. Blood pours out of his body. Using every bit of strength I have, I push him hard to the cage and watch him fall to the ground. Rushing to him, a sharp, searing pain flows through my body. Instantly, my legs give out, crashing me to the ground.

Fuck! I clutch my gun tightly in my hand continuously shooting even though the pain is raging. Cruz grabs underneath my arms, dragging me towards the cage. Reaching it, my arms fall to the side, my body no longer having the energy to hold them up. I can hear words, but everything is so fucking muffled it’s as if I’m underwater floating. More noises and some movement, but I am useless, nothing wants to work on my body. I try, but everything is still. I feel my eyes slowly begin to shut. I will them to stay open, but it’s too much and I give in. The last thing I see is Casey’s beautiful face before everything goes dark.

“Wake up you dick!” Princess’ voice is so fucking loud, like she’s got one of those bull horns up against my ear. My head is fucking pounding and my body almost completely numb. Trying to roll over, my body is instantly halted by something big and strong. My body is too weak and numb to fight it off. I can’t do anything but lay there.

“G.T. wake your fucking ass up now!” Princess barks louder this time. I want to answer her and tell her to shut the fuck up, but my mouth is dry and I’m finding it difficult to open it. Trying to open my eyes, I fight to get just one lid open, but nothing. Then darkness finds me again and Princess’ voice fades in the distance.