Seduced by the Enemy (Blaze, 41) (14 page)

This was the Jared she'd fallen in love with, the one who'd understood her, and, once upon a time, had accepted her for who she was, idiosyncrasies, faults and all.

He gestured with his hand, still clasping the ring she'd placed there. “I also know what giving up this ring and all it entails means to you, too.”

“All it means is that I can't marry a man I'm not completely in love with, no matter how much safety he can offer me. I sold out once in my life, Jared, and it cost me dearly. I'm not talking about security, but something so much more important and profound. I'm not going to repeat the same mistake twice.”

“Meaning?”

“Meaning I should have trusted you then and didn't. I'm trusting you now. With my life.”

He slowly walked toward her and crouched in front of her. After setting the ring on the table, he rested his hand on her thigh. A flurry of sensations shot through her body, making her breasts tingle.

“What about your heart?” he asked. “What about those unresolved feelings you mentioned?”

Said organ stopped beating, and finally resumed at a maddening pace. “My heart?” She carefully removed his hand from her thigh. “No. There's too much…everything. We're not the same people we were three years ago. Too much has happened for us to ever recapture what we once had. You found Beth. Whether or not you really were in love with her doesn't matter. You cared about her enough to marry her and try to make a life together. She meant something to you—you can't deny that.”

He shifted his gaze to somewhere over her shoulder and shook his head. Whether in denial or agreement, she couldn't say.

“I lost our son,” she murmured. “That's something I've had to live with. And while I doubt I'll ever suffer anything as painful in my life as losing a child, I've had to move on or run the risk of becoming one of those women who clings to the past and spends all her waking hours thinking of what might have been instead of getting on with the business of living.”

“So what are you saying? That no matter what, there can never be an ‘us' again?”

“You're like a drug, Jared. Being near you is like laying a needle in front of a hype in need of a fix. That's not how I want to live my life, and I refuse for us to be one of those pitiful couples you hear about that keep repeating the same mistakes over and over again because they can't let go of the past.”

Or the great sex.
The wayward thought came out of nowhere, but she couldn't deny the truth of it, ei
ther. Sex with Jared had always been fabulous, which made kicking the habit that much more difficult.

“No one says we have to keep making the same mistakes. What's wrong with starting fresh?”

Everything,
she thought. But, oh, the temptation was tough to resist. Did they have a twelve-step program for sex?

Hello, my name is Peyton. I'm addicted to sex with a guy who is totally wrong for me.

She needed distance or else her resolve would crumble and she'd be wrapping her body around his and begging him to make that fresh start with her. Instead, she pushed him away and stood. She hadn't taken two steps when his fingers grabbed her wrist and halted her.

“Answer me, Peyton.”

She looked up at him. Desire, need and something much more frightening lit his gaze. Hope.

“It's not possible,” she told him. “Not after everything we've been through. Especially when we both have a bad habit of repeating history. The past would always be there, between us, against us. Whether we acknowledged it or not, it'd always guide us subconsciously, giving us no choice but to act accordingly.”

“So you're just going to walk away from us?”

You did.
She might have kept the words to herself, but they were a solid reminder of why she and Jared could never resume their relationship. “We have no other choice.”

She attempted to shrug out of his gentle grasp, but he suddenly tightened his hold.

“Yes, we do,” he said, his expression hardening. “We can choose to be together.”

“Two days ago you could hardly look at me without being pissed off. Why the sudden turnabout, Jared? Nothing has changed between us.”

“This isn't about change, sweetheart. It's about control, and how you're afraid to give up your hold on it.”

She laughed, but the sound held no humor. “You're insane.”

He let out a sigh and tugged her close. “It's not repeating the past that frightens you. It's losing what control you've managed to obtain in recent months that has you running scared. The future is uncertain, and that doesn't quite fit into your reality. If they get to us first, we might not even have a future to worry about, so what the hell is wrong with just living in the moment?”

She shook her head. Not because she didn't agree with him, but because what he was asking was too risky. If she and Jared managed a way out of the nightmare they were in, then what? Could she really afford yet another scar on her heart?

“Peyton, if I've learned anything during the past three years, it's that twenty minutes of wonderful beats the hell out of a lifetime of nothing.”

He had a point she couldn't deny, especially since there was a damn good chance she and Jared could be killed. They might have managed so far to outrun those after them, but there were no guarantees about how much longer their luck would continue to hold. Based on what she now knew, there were a lot of reasons for them to want Jared silenced, and by extension, her as well.

In other words, what did she have to lose? Not much, as far as she could determine.

Keeping that thought firmly planted in her mind, she inched closer and slipped her free hand around his neck. She'd deal with tomorrow, and any regrets she might have, if and when they came. For now, twenty minutes of wonderful sounded like a good start to a splendid idea.

“Kiss me, Jared. Before I change my mind.”

A welcoming smile instantly curved his mouth. “I thought you'd never ask.”

J
ARED SLID
P
EYTON'S OTHER
hand around his neck. She laced her fingers together, bringing her body closer to his. Her nipples hardened beneath her top, teasing him. Her warm scent enticed him. The feel of her body against his made his erection pulse and throb in delicious anticipation.

Peyton was finally in his arms where she belonged. A Peyton without restrictions, without the symbol of her pledge to another man between them—or anything else, for that matter, except perhaps a past they could not change and a future of uncertainty. Toss in the gut-wrenching emotions he knew deep in his soul would never fade, and it spelled only one thing: spending the rest of his life making up for the past.

She was his life. She was his love. She was his soul mate. Then, now and always. All he had to do was convince her of what had remained in his heart all the months they'd been separated. Yes, he had married another woman, and while he'd cared deeply for Beth, she hadn't been Peyton. He wasn't a complete jackass. Beth did hold a special place in his heart, but that space remained crowded by guilt that she had died protecting him when he hadn't deserved her loyalty. Worse, she'd died knowing he could never completely
love her because his heart would always remain with another woman. With Peyton.

Now was not the time for regrets. Not when he had the woman he'd always loved rubbing her body against his in an ancient siren's call. He had two immediate needs—kissing her senseless and freeing them of their clothing posthaste. If he didn't feel the press of her satiny soft skin against him soon, he'd go crazy.

He smoothed his hands down her backside to cup her bottom. She sighed and wiggled against his hands. “Kiss me, Jared.”

No way was he letting her go now that he'd finally gotten her back where she belonged. He dipped his head and caught her lips with his. She opened immediately, inviting him inside the sweet warmth of her mouth, where her tongue danced and mated with his. She suckled his tongue. Her hands slid into his hair, holding him so he couldn't withdraw. She arched her slender body against his. His erection throbbed painfully behind the fly of his jeans.

He removed one hand from her bottom to reach beneath her top and palm her breast. He swallowed her soft moan of pleasure as he rasped his thumb over the pebble hardness of her nipple. The need to taste her, to draw her into his mouth and suckle overwhelmed him. A need he could barely contain when she suddenly broke the kiss and pulled away from him.

He nearly panicked, thinking she'd changed her mind after all…until he focused on her face and saw a slow, seductive smile curving her lips, and a blazing need flare in her periwinkle eyes, turning them a
deeper shade of blue. Those luscious eyes said it all. There would be no turning back tonight.

She reached for the bottom edge of her crop top and slowly began to lift the fabric, exposing rich creamy skin, inch by delectable inch. The smile on her face was nothing short of wicked as she tossed the top somewhere over her shoulder. Next, she toyed with the plaid bottoms, running her middle finger between the fabric and her tummy. His mouth went dry when her whole hand dipped beneath the edge of elastic.

“Umm,” she murmured. “You should feel how wet your kiss has made me.”

The rate of his heartbeat increased to dangerous levels. He tried to speak, but the words lodged in his throat. All he could emit was a low moan of combined pleasure and frustration.

“Do you remember how you could make me come just by touching me…here?”

Did he ever. His fingers flexed in response.

“Do you want to touch me, Jared?”

Her throaty whisper nearly had him coming. He cleared his throat. “Yes,” he managed to rasp.

“Then take off your clothes,” she ordered.

She could've asked him to swing from the rafters and he'd have done it if it meant being able to touch her again. He did as she requested, understanding her need to be in control. For now, he thought. Later, he'd show her what it meant to really lose that control she guarded so carefully.

Within seconds he shed his clothes, then stood waiting for her next command. The appreciation in her eyes warmed him a thousand times more than the heat
from the flames crackling in the hearth. No matter what tomorrow brought, tonight they would have this moment, where only the two of them existed in a heated convergence of heart, body and soul.

She tugged on the loose-fitting pajama bottoms, and they landed in a puddle of blue-and-pink plaid cotton at her feet. “I've changed my mind,” she said, moving toward him. “I don't want you to touch me…yet.”

She stepped past him and snagged a pillow from the sofa before coming back around to stand in front of him. The pillow hit the floor at his feet. His erection bobbed in anticipation as she settled to her knees in front of him.

She slipped both hands around his penis and began a rhythmic massage. “I'm going to taste you. Can you handle it?”

“I'll handle anything you want to give,” he rasped. “I'm yours to do with as you please.”

“Umm,” she said, bringing her mouth closer to the swollen tip. Her warm breath fanned him. “Anything?”

He sucked in a sharp breath as she used the tip of her tongue to circle the head. “Anything,” he croaked despite the dryness of his throat.

She chuckled before taking him in her mouth, making cardiac arrest a distinct possibility as she slid her lips farther down his shaft.

Her hands clutched his backside, kneading his flesh while urging him to move his hips in a gentle thrusting motion. With each thrust, she took him deeper, using her tongue and her lips to drive him wild.

Her throat closed around him, drawing him deeper,
milking the moisture from his body. His legs trembled. With nothing to hold on to for support, he dug his fingers into her honey-blond hair. He heard a moan, but he was too lost in the sensations rippling through his body to know which of them made that low, mournful sound.

The pressure built, and he knew that if he didn't stop her, he would come in an explosion of heat. Yet he couldn't bear to put an end to her sweet brand of lovemaking, so he let her have her way with him. Her hands moved from his backside to cup his sac. Using her nails, she gently scraped her fingers along the underside of his testicles, heightening his pleasure to the point where he could take it no longer.

He tried to push her mouth away, but she was insistent, pressing him harder toward completion. Unable to bear the exquisite torture another second, he shuddered as he tried to hold back, but she refused to relinquish her control over him. He came in a rush. The world stopped spinning as she took all he had to give.

Tremors continued to wrack his body as she slowly brought him back to that place where he could hear the sounds of their ragged breathing and feel his own heart beating a rapid cadence in his chest.

Slowly, she kissed her way up his body until she was standing on the pillow, nibbling his jaw as he tried to regulate his breathing. Her hands slid into his hair and he banded his arms around her, pulling her close. There were a thousand things he wanted to say to her, but he sensed her need for another type of communication, so he remained silent.

Despite the weakness in his legs, he bent and
scooped her up in his arms. He considered taking her to the bedroom, but that could wait until later. Right now he wanted her as mindless as she'd made him. Besides, lengthy foreplay would give his weakened body a chance to renew itself.

Peyton wasn't exactly sure where she'd expected Jared to take her, but the overstuffed chair in front of the fire had not entered her mind's list of places for making love. Of course, with Jared, anything was possible. She very fondly recalled an incident with unlit tapers that had been highly erotic and incredibly satisfying.

She looked into his eyes as he gently set her down. He quickly positioned the chair so she faced the fire, then sank to his knees in front of her.

“Do you trust me?” he asked as he used both hands to scoot her bottom toward the center of the cushion.

Instinct told her his question went beyond sex, but she didn't want to go there. Not now, when her emotions were running rampant and her body hummed with anticipation. Later, much later, would be a more appropriate time for that kind of reflection and consideration. All she wanted was Jared inside her, loving her. Still, she had a moment's hesitation before she slowly nodded.

A lazy grin canted his mouth. “Good answer, sweetheart.” His hands slid from her bottom to her thighs, his fingers tenderly kneading her flesh.

Then one hand moved from her thigh to the curve behind her knee. Carefully, he lifted her leg and placed it over the arm of the chair.

She tensed. “Jared?”

“Trust me, sweetheart.” He placed a kiss on her
inner thigh. “I'm going to take you someplace you haven't been to in a very long time.” He repeated the process with her other leg until she was lying in the chair, completely exposed to him.

She closed her eyes and leaned her head back while Jared's fingers gently massaged her flesh. Each time the back of his hand brushed against her moist core, her hips jerked toward him.

He chuckled. “Not just yet, sweetheart. We haven't even begun this journey.”

The sound of his voice soothed her, as well as filled her with an excitement born of sensual promise.

She heard the rasp of leather and opened her eyes. He was standing with the leather belt from his jeans in his hand. “What do you think you're going to do with that?” She couldn't help feel slightly alarmed. She was turned on, most definitely, but the teasing glint in his eyes made her wary.

“Not what you're thinking,” he said with a soft chuckle. “Relax, Peyton. I haven't picked up any strange or dominating sexual habits recently.”

Not exactly reassured, she kept a close eye on the leather belt in his hands.

“Lie back again and close your eyes,” he ordered gently.

He knelt before her, so she did as he instructed. Then nearly leaped out of the chair when she felt the glide of smooth, soft leather against her center, followed by the silken slide of his tongue over her clitoris. The combination of sensations as he rhythmically repeated the process had her panting. She couldn't remember the last time she'd ever felt anything so incredibly stimulating. His thumb rested at her opening,
teasing her as he gently slipped it inside—only enough to make her body yearn for more.

She arched her back and tried to press her hips forward, her body needing, demanding more of the exquisite pleasure.

His lips kissed the flat of her belly as the strange softness of the tip of his leather belt slid against her. “You are so wet,” he murmured against her flesh. “Wet and ready to come for me, aren't you, baby?”

“Jared,” she cried, begging him to give her the release her body so desperately sought.

“Not just yet. Now open your eyes.”

She did, and was at first stunned by the fierce light of possession shining in his green gaze. An odd sense of comfort quickly followed.

“I want you to watch,” he said. “See how your body responds to my touch?”

Her arms trembled in protest as she pushed herself upward so she could fulfill Jared's intimate request. She hardly believed it possible, but the sharp tug of need in her belly pulled harder, demanding and insistent. How was it that the sight of his long slim fingers slipping in and out of her moist heat made her even more aroused?

“You like watching me, don't you?”

The only sound she could make that even resembled coherency was a sharp moan of intense pleasure. She watched in fascination as he discarded the belt, then added another finger to the two already inside her, pushing deep and making her cry out as every single nerve ending in her body came alive with sensation.

She pulsed around his fingers. His eyes darkened as he dipped his head and placed an openmouthed kiss
over her, his velvety soft tongue whirling around her swollen clitoris, driving her closer to where pure satisfaction awaited.

He eased back ever so slightly until he could look into her eyes. The intensity of his gaze held her spellbound, while her heart rate soared into the danger zone. Her body trembled with the need for release. The sight of his tongue laving her, the feel of his fingers drawing her moisture were too much. Just when she thought she couldn't hold back another second, he stopped suddenly, and was looming over her before her mind could assimilate the changes.

Stretched above her with hands gripping the arms of the chair, he eased himself inside her. Exposed as she was, she felt every glorious inch of him as he entered her deeply. She cried out as he thrust over and over again, pushing her into mindless wonder. The intensity of her orgasm gripped her hard, shook her body to its very core. He continued to rock against her, driving into her relentlessly as her body poised for yet another release.

They came together like a crashing wave. Her fierce cries of pleasure were barely perceptible over his deep groans at his own powerful release.

Somehow, in the sensual fog, they made it to the rug in front of the hearth, their bodies entangled as they soothed and gently explored each other at their leisure.

As much as she hated to admit it even to herself, she had desperately missed this part of her life with Jared—the closeness and intimacy. No matter what demons from the past haunted them, when they came together in love, nothing could hurt them. Their
months apart faded away as she snuggled closer in his embrace.

Their future might be uncertain, but Peyton knew without a doubt that somehow her future would include Jared.

 

J
UST AFTER TEN
the next morning, Peyton woke to the heavenly aromas of frying bacon, baking bread and fresh-brewed coffee. The scents wafted into the bedroom, drawing her reluctantly out of her slumber. She smiled. The bedroom wasn't the only place she considered Jared a whiz. He made the best eggs Benedict east of the Mississippi.