Seducing Phoebe (Crimson Romance) (13 page)

• • •

Phoebe placed her knife and fork on the plate, her appetite for food sufficiently satisfied. All the time they’d been together they’d never worked as a team in the kitchen, preparing a meal together. Usually one of them cooked while the other one sat and drank coffee if it was breakfast being prepared, or wine if they were having dinner.

“I suppose I need to do the dishes now.”

She looked over at Marco, smiling at the pitiful look he was sending her way. “I’m sure you can handle a few dishes by yourself.”

“But it would be much more fun if you were helping me. Besides with another set of hands things will be done quicker.”

She laughed and pushed her chair back, picking up her plate and glass. “Fine, you win. Come on let’s get these dishes done. Do you want to watch a movie after we’ve finished?”

Marco stood too. “Sounds like a great idea. I’ll even let you watch a chick flick in return for helping me.”

“You’re a real hero.”

Phoebe couldn’t help but enjoy the closeness they were now sharing. It wasn’t the norm for them; they’d always been going out, or snatching a quick bite before she headed for a night shift.

It was funny how looking back, she could see all the holes in their relationship that she hadn’t noticed before.

“What are you thinking so hard about?”

Phoebe looked up and saw Marco standing next to her. His eyes were full of concern and her heart warmed at the sight. “Nothing too important. Just how different tonight is from most of the other nights we’ve spent together.”

“We never did the casual thing, did we? It was either a quick meal because you were off to work, or some charity function, or one of my work dinners.”

He was quiet for a moment as if he too was realizing just how much they’d missed out on before.

She reached up and laid her hand on his cheek. “I enjoyed our evenings out, Marco.”

He threw back his head and laughed. “No you didn’t. Most of the things we went to were stuffy events.” He leaned down and placed a soft kiss on her lips, lingering for a moment. He broke the kiss and whispered against her lips, “I’m sorry.”

“Sorry for what?” she asked.

The next instant she found herself pulled against his chest, his arms wrapping around her in a tight embrace. “I’m sorry that I dragged you to places where you didn’t know anybody, and I left you to fend for yourself most of those nights. It was selfish of me.”

Phoebe didn’t know what to say to him. What he’d said was the truth, he had left her alone, and she had been uncomfortable. What she’d also been was happy to be there as his date. She was proud of his achievements with his work. He was so dedicated and caring and it showed in every one of his projects.

She reluctantly pulled away from his embrace and took a couple of steps back. She wanted to be able to look at him when she told him what she was feeling.

“I accept your apology, but it’s unnecessary. I was proud to be your date. Sure, I didn’t know anybody, but I was getting to know people with every one we attended.” She smiled. “It wasn’t too bad.”

“I think you’re only saying that to make me feel better.”

Was she? Was she still trying to keep the peace? It was possible. If she wanted the truth from him then she would have to be truthful with him. “Okay, so maybe it was bad and you did leave me alone more times than you were with me, but I did know it was business and it was better for me to stay in the sidelines so I didn’t embarrass you.”

Marco stopped from loading the dishwasher and was looking at her incredulously. “Why would you embarrass me?”

“Well, you know, I’m a nurse, and most of the people attending those functions are socialites and, well, some of them were pretty condescending when I said I was a nurse. So it was easier to not say anything at all.”

Marco took the plate she was holding and put it in the dishwasher, slamming the plate down so hard in the rack that she was surprised it didn’t break. She could feel the anger radiating off him and wondered what had caused it. Surely he wasn’t angry with her for being truthful with him? If he was then he really wasn’t the man she thought he was.

“Marco, are you alright?”

He closed the dishwasher and stabbed at the buttons. Once the machine started humming away on its wash cycle he grabbed her hand and pulled her into the living room. He sat down on the couch and she had no choice but to take the cushion next to him.

“No, I’m not alright, I’m mad as hell.”

“Why?”

“Because you just told me that the people I work with, people whose buildings or houses I spent days and weeks and months designing and redesigning, looked down on your profession. A profession that not one of them would be able to handle. A profession that you are amazing in. A profession that is noble and should be admired and never,
ever
ridiculed.”

Phoebe was speechless at the passionate way he defended her.

“Thank you,” was all she could say.

“If I’d known what was happening I never would have left you alone. I’m so annoyed at myself for thinking that the people I associated with would be as proud of you and your choice of career as I am.”

She crept closer to him and rested her head on his chest. He wrapped his arms tightly around her and with the hum of the dishwasher in the background they held on to each other.

This was yet another side to Marco she wasn’t used to seeing. The arrogant side when he’d showed up a couple of days ago had hit a chord with her. Then this passionate defending nature of him was also new. If she’d seen these signs of him earlier, would things have been different? Would she have been confident enough in their relationship that the appearance of John wouldn’t have caused her to have these second thoughts?

Maybe, maybe not. Even after everything that had happened in the last few hours, she still didn’t know much about him.

“How do you do it?” He asked the question so quietly she wasn’t sure what he said.

“What do you mean?”

His hand started to stroke her hair, the movement hypnotizing. “Being a nurse. How do you do it day in, day out? Seeing people come in so severely hurt that they might not make it. How do you keep yourself emotionally distanced from all of that?”

Phoebe pulled away from his embrace. She’d never really thought about how an outsider would view her job. To her it was what she’d always wanted to do. She’d always wanted to help people and look after them.

“I’ve never really thought about it, to be honest — it’s my job, Marco, it’s what I was trained to do. It’s what I love doing. It’s nothing special.” She finished on a shrug.

Marco got up and started pacing. “Don’t demean what you do, Phoebe. Like today for instance, you managed to keep that girl so calm while you treated her, while her boyfriend … ” He broke off and squatted down in front of her. “Her boyfriend was lying on the ground dead.”

Phoebe could feel the anguish pouring out of him. At the scene, she’d never given a thought as to what he would be going through. It would’ve been the first time he’d have seen someone who had died. She felt awful that she hadn’t even considered his needs. It confirmed what she’d thought when he’d come for her when she’d been showering. He had needed to connect with someone who was alive.

She slipped off the couch and grabbed his hands. “It’s my turn to say sorry.” Phoebe pulled a hand away and touched his cheek. “I’m sorry that you had to go through that today. I didn’t give any consideration to how you must have felt seeing the driver lying there. It’s not easy seeing someone who’s passed away for the first time.”

“It wasn’t the first time.”

His words had her looking up at him in surprise. “What do you mean?”

“I watched my best friend die in a car accident.”

Sitting on the ground wasn’t the place to be having this conversation. “Let’s get off the ground and back to the couch.” She spoke softly, as she could see he wasn’t aware of all that was going on around him. She also felt a little thrill go through at the anticipation of Marco sharing something that had defined him with her.

They settled themselves back on the couch; she was once again leaning against him.

“Can you tell me what happened?” she asked.

• • •

Marco closed his eyes and the image of Tomasso coalesced with image of today’s victim. Sometimes he wished he could go back in time and change the outcome of that day when he, Alex, and Tomasso had all set off for a drive in the country. He still couldn’t remember why they hadn’t taken one car instead of all of them taking their own cars. But if they’d done that would he or Alex have been seriously hurt, or maybe worse, even died like Tomasso?

“Marco, if it hurts too much you don’t have to tell me.”

He looked down at Phoebe as she gazed up at him. He could see the concern and caring in her eyes. There was also something else in their depths, as if she was expecting to be disappointed. As if she was expecting to be let down by him. He knew he didn’t want to cause that look to come fully into her eyes and take over the caring that she was showing just for him. As hard as it was, he knew he had to tell her. He’d never shared this with anyone, not even Veronika. He had always kept the things that hurt him secret. He thought he was protecting himself. In reality he was only hurting himself and those who cared about him. His actions had cheated everyone.

“We’d decided to take a drive down the coast. Tomasso was in the lead, then there was me, and Alex was last. We weren’t speeding, we weren’t doing anything crazy, but all of sudden Tomasso veered to the right, hit the gravel and, like the car today, rolled over numerous times.”

He closed his eyes, reliving that moment again, trying to see if there was anything that would reveal itself to him. They would never know if an animal had darted out in front of Tomasso or if a bird flew into the windscreen. Or even if something had physically happened to Tomasso to cause him to veer off the road. It was a question that could never be answered.

“Anyway, by the time Alex and I stopped and got near the car, it was almost too late.”

“Oh, Marco, I’m so sorry.”

He nodded, acknowledging her comments. “We couldn’t do anything except hold his hand until help arrived. Alex felt helpless; he was studying medicine but he didn’t have enough experience to deal with the emergency situation we found ourselves in. By the time the paramedics and the fire brigade arrived, we both knew it was too late. There was nothing they could do. The only solace I have is that we were with him in those last few moments. That he knew his friends were there for him, and that Alex and I had each other.”

He halted on a shuddering breath. Emotions he’d long ago pushed away came rushing back. He could face them while he had Phoebe by his side.

“I’m sure that Tomasso did find comfort and peace in knowing you and Alex where there,” Phoebe said. “I’ve known patients to linger on until they were sure their family members or friends had someone else to lean on.”

“Even still, it was awful. It was a day that changed my life and Alex’s. Our ideals and our thoughts of invincibility were shattered in the mere blink of an eye. What we thought we wanted out of life meant nothing when our best friend wasn’t able to fulfill his own destiny.”

“Maybe Tomasso had fulfilled his destiny. Maybe what happened to him was supposed to lead you and Alex on the paths that you’re on today.”

He let Phoebe’s words wash over him, soaking in like water into a sponge. He’d never considered it that way. Alex’s goal had been to go into research and cure diseases. Now Alex was at the top of his field in emergency medicine, well respected and exceptional at what he did. If he hadn’t had gone into emergency medicine he never would’ve met Sophie and they wouldn’t be together or have their precious little Louisa.

Marco took a few moments to look back on his own life, at his own achievements. Sure, he’d had ideals about developing safe watering systems for third world countries. He may not have done that, but he had created some amazing buildings. Now, because his business was doing well and he was at the top of his field like Alex, perhaps now was the time he could look at fulfilling that goal.

A warm hand running up and down his arm pulled him from his introspection. He covered Phoebe’s hand with his and then brought it up to his mouth to lay a soft kiss on the fleshy part of her palm, grateful that she was lying beside him. Grateful that he hadn’t given up and had chased her down. Grateful that she had deigned to give him a second chance at courting her.

“You know, I think you could be right. I’ve never looked at it that way before. That Tomasso’s death might have been the nudge Alex and I had needed to actually fulfill our real destinies, not the idealistic views of cocky young men.”

“When things happen that we don’t understand, we have to accept it, and in time, we can look back and realize why it happened and how that one moment in time defines the rest of our lives.”

“Have you had a moment like that, Phoebe? A moment when one action or situation changed the way you lived your life?”

How do I answer that?
Phoebe wondered. She’d had so many moments where her life had taken turns and she hadn’t known what she was doing or where she was going. The latest one being when John turned up again, throwing her plans into turmoil, and now here she and Marco were, sitting on a couch in a location that was neither of their houses and they weren’t talking about their upcoming wedding, they were talking about events that caused emotional upheaval.

“I think I’ve had too many to count,” she eventually replied after a while.

“I imagine the major one would’ve been when your parents died.”

Yes, she could acknowledge that that day had changed her existence, but not the way others might have thought it did. She was sad and upset when her parents had died, but she was also secretly relieved. Relieved that there would be no more forgotten birthdays. No more forgotten school awards evenings. No more forgotten promises of being there to pick her up after dance class. She’d buried her past so far deep down that hardly anyone knew about it. She had always been the one cracking the jokes. Cracking a joke deflected people’s attention so they didn’t realize she hadn’t answered the question about her past. What was she going to do now? If she’d told Marco the true feelings she’d felt that one day, would he think less of her? If she didn’t tell him something she would be doing the exact same thing she was upset at him about — keeping secrets.