Seducing Phoebe (Crimson Romance) (19 page)

“I know,” he said quietly. “I know you’re not her. I will concede that her actions may have influenced me in the past. But I’m changing; I’m realizing all that I’m missing out on. Give me time, Phoebe; please tell me you’ll give me time to work through this. It’s hard to trust again, especially after the woman you gave your heart to turns out to be a fraud, but I really am trying.”

She thought about what he said. Was she doing any different to him? John had burned her and she was worried Marco was going to do the same. She hadn’t fully given herself to him. The time to learn to trust each other had come.

“I can understand, but I have to ask — would you have told me of your own free will about what Veronika had done?”

“I know you want me to tell you that I would’ve told you all about Veronika. The honest answer is — as it was when we first started this conversation — I’m not sure. Somehow I think, deep down, I would’ve told you. I know to have the type of committed relationship others around us have, honesty is what makes it so strong. This was too big to keep from you. I struggled to find the courage to share this part of my past with you, but I could never seem to find the right time to say anything to you about it.”

It wasn’t the answer she wanted to hear but she had to appreciate his honesty with her. “I have to hope that there is some truth in what you’ve said tonight. That eventually you’ll open yourself up to all that life can offer you.”

“Thank you.”

Phoebe yawned. Everything she’d experienced emotionally over the last couple of days was catching up with her. “I think it’s time to call it a night.”

His answer was to take her lips in a soft kiss. She tried to hold herself stiffly but found it impossible. She let herself sink into the embrace.

What started off as a simple kiss quickly escalated into something more. Her body was screaming at her to pull at his shirt and feel the warm flesh beneath her hands. To have that sense of completion the moment he entered her.

Her body might’ve wanted it, but her mind was telling her to be cautious. She knew they had no problem in the lovemaking department. It was communicating their thoughts and wishes that they seemed to have an issue with.

He placed another kiss on her forehead. “Goodnight, sweetheart. Thank you for giving me a push when I needed it.”

“Goodnight, Marco. And I agree — I don’t want there to be any secrets between us.”

“Sweet dreams,” he murmured as he closed the door softly behind him.

Phoebe stared at the closed door, her body humming with suppressed desire. Even after the last hour they’d spent talking, in her mind, they still had such a long way to go before they could really call their relationship a true partnership.

Was she expecting too much? What if this was as good as it was going to get? Would it be enough?

Phoebe rolled over again and stared at the glowing red digits of her clock. She’d not managed any sleep since Marco had walked out of her room. Her mind kept going over everything he’d told her about his past relationship, and the slip in his conversation about how their relationship was different and — dared she hope — more special than the one he’d shared with Veronika?

She groaned at the memory of the kiss he’d given her when they’d said goodnight. How she’d wanted him to take over and make her forget everything, and just feel. There were only a couple of rooms separating them. A few steps and she could be in his arms. Tempting as it was, not all problems could be solved by having sex.

She gave up on sleeping and got up to get herself a drink from the kitchen. Maybe that small amount of activity would tire her out. She laughed to herself at the absurdity of the thought.

Phoebe stood in the hallway. She knew which direction to go to get to the kitchen, only she found herself walking in the opposite direction, towards the guest room where Marco was sleeping. Her will power to stay away from him was non-existent. He called to her in the most basic way a man called to a woman.

As she got to the room she was surprised to see that the door was open. A soft glow from the full moon gave the room an ambient luminosity. She paused and looked at the form lying on the bed. The sheets where wrapped around his legs, as if he’d been tossing and turning as much as she had.

Taking a deep breath she walked into the room. She didn’t want a drink. This was what she wanted. Even after everything they’d been through over the last week — had it really only been a week? — she could acknowledge that her feelings for him wouldn’t change. She could finally admit to herself that she loved him and she wanted him and, as stupid as it was, she did want to marry him.

She did want to wear that gorgeous dress and have the lavish wedding that had been planned. Was it too late to ring the planner in the morning and get her to undo all the cancellations? Would Marco even want to still go through with it? He said he did, but what if he’d changed his mind?

“Are you planning to stand there all night?”

Phoebe yelped in surprise. She had no idea that he was awake.

“Did I wake you?” she asked as she walked towards him, slipping the straps of her nightgown over her shoulders.

“Honey, you’ve been keeping me awake a lot lately.”

She’d reached the side of the bed and shimmied, letting the gossamer soft fabric slide down her body. She was naked and exposed to his gaze. “Maybe I can fix that problem tonight.”

“I was hoping you’d say that.”

Marco lifted the sheet and she climbed into his waiting arms. Her body immediately curled in and softened as he tightened his hold on her. She shivered in delight.

“I need you tonight, Marco.” It was her turn to need the reassurance that his embrace could give.

“I’ll always be here for you.” He then took possession of her lips, leaving her with no question about how much he needed this as well. He was all but ravaging her, and she was giving it back. She wrapped her arms more tightly around him, giving him a little shove so that she was on top of him.

She pulled her lips away from his and started to kiss his jaw. Little kisses, nipping every now and then. His fingers tightened on her waist, letting her know he was more than happy with her taking charge of their lovemaking. She trailed her lips down his neck, kissing along his collarbone. His taste was intoxicating.

With her hand she inched down his chest until she reached his hard male length. The skin was soft to touch. She stroked it a couple of times, eliciting moans from Marco.

In a flash she found herself flipped onto her back and Marco was looming over her.

“I was having fun.” She pouted, but welcomed his heavy weight onto her.

“Next time.” He gave her no chance to reply as he kissed her deeply. His hands cupped her breasts, massaging them and she moaned into his mouth. His lips left hers and she took some deep breaths in. As his lips closed around her nipple she cried out.

With his free hand, Marco found her moist heat between her legs. He slipped first one finger, then another in. She clenched her inner muscles around them and lifted her hips, telling him what she really wanted.

He answered her call and entered her in one swift thrust. He paused and lifted his head to look into her eyes. The fire burning in their depths warmed her soul.

“I need you so much, Phoebe. So much.”

There was no more conversation between them. As he thrust into her all rational thought left her mind and she only felt the strength of him as he fulfilled their journey to utter completion.

• • •

Phoebe floated to the surface from the depths of a deep sleep. Her body felt relaxed and she was surrounded by a warm male body. She stretched and her bottom came in contact with a part of Marco’s anatomy that was most definitely awake.

His lips pressed at the back of her neck. “Morning, beautiful.”

She snuggled a little closer. “Morning. Did you sleep well?”

His chuckle reverberated down her spine. “I slept wonderfully. And I have you to thank.”

“I think we helped each other.”

She expected a reply but when he didn’t answer she looked over her shoulder and found that Marco’s gaze was focused on something to the left of her.

“Who’s the picture of?”

Phoebe stilled. She didn’t need to look at what Marco was gazing at. She knew. It was a photo of Adele White.

“Phoebe?”

She closed her eyes. It still shouldn’t hurt to talk about her. She rolled over so that she was facing Marco’s chest, not the photo.

“That’s Mrs. White.”

“She’s the lady who took you in after your parents died, right?”

Phoebe couldn’t get an answer past the lump of hurt that unfurled itself in her throat so she nodded.

Marco shifted beneath her and sat up. He lifted her so that she rested against his chest. He started to stroke her hair. “I think there’s more to the story than you mentioned the other night, isn’t there?”

“Yes.”

Phoebe was hoping that he would leave it at that, but it wasn’t exactly fair of her to think like that. Not when she’d pressured Marco to tell her about Veronika.

“I know what you’re thinking,” he said quietly.

“What’s that?”

“You’re thinking that because you encouraged me to tell you my sordid secret you should automatically tell me yours?”

She laughed, even though it was the last thing she really felt like doing. “When you put it like that it sounds a little silly, but it is only fair.”

“Maybe, but if it makes you uncomfortable to talk about it, then I can wait.”

He was giving her an out and she fell for him just a little bit more. For them to move forward, they needed to be open and honest. She needed to tell him about her time with Mrs. White and how, in the end, even her proclamations of love were hollow words.

Lying in his arms, feeling safe and secure, it was the perfect time to talk. “As I told you, Mrs. White was our neighbor as I was growing up. She would look out for me when my parents went off on their adventures. She was fun and had older children who, I guess for lack of a better word, tolerated me when I was lumped into their worlds.”

She took a breath trying to bury the hurt that was building up inside of her. Her two sons had resented her a little bit. “You see, Mrs. White always wanted a daughter and so she would indulge me whenever I was there. Don’t get me wrong, she never, ever ignored her sons, she wasn’t like that, but she would always get me some pretty clothes.”

“She sounds like she was a wonderful person. Someone to give you the love you deserved.”

Phoebe sighed. “Yes, at one time I thought I was important to her.”

She stopped and let the memories wash over her of the times they went to the park or even to the mall to window shop.

“So how much older were the boys?”

“They were eleven and nine years older than me. When I went to stay for good with Mrs. White they were getting reading to leave home. I thought they’d have been glad that she wasn’t alone while they chased off on their own lives.”

“Families can be strange creatures.”

“Don’t I know it.” She laughed drily. “Anyway, as time went on, the boys got married and when they did, Mrs. White let her future daughters-in-law wear her most treasured possession — a beautiful diamond heart necklace. It was given to Mrs. White on the death of her favorite aunt. It was stunning and even though it was old, it still looked modern.”

Phoebe tamped down the lump that was starting to develop in her throat. “Whenever I was feeling really sad or angry at the world for what I thought it was doing to me, Mrs. White would bring it out and let me wear it. She even told me that when she died she would put in her will that she wanted me to have it. You see, her sons’ marriages hadn’t worked out, and she knew that I loved that necklace more than her boys did. She knew I wouldn’t pawn it off, which she feared her sons would do.”

“So you were planning to wear it on our wedding day?”

She looked away and plucked at the sheet. That had been one of her greatest dreams. To have Mrs. White walk her down the aisle when she got married while she was wearing the necklace. But as it turned out her dream was once again shattered. She’d found out the hard way that she’d been lied to.

“Well that was the plan, but as it turned out, Mrs. White had never planned to give it to me at all.”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean when she died, not one of her family took it upon themselves to let me know. I only found out by going to visit her to tell her about us that she had even died. I’d been so busy and hadn’t seen her for a while. Her house was empty and up for sale. It was like her sons had cleaned it out the moment she’d died. I found after that she’d been buried for two weeks when I went to see her. Two weeks!”

The tears she’d tried to keep at bay while telling the story poured out of her eyes. Marco gathered her close and she cried out her grief and anger. It was quite surreal to be naked and sobbing in Marco’s arms in her guest room.

When her crying finally calmed down, she continued on. “When I finally tracked down the great Roger White, her oldest son, I asked him if she’d made any provision in her will for me. He just laughed and said of course not, I wasn’t that important to his mother. She put up with me for years and I was more like a hindrance than a pleasure to have around. I walked away and wondered what the hell was wrong with me. Why everyone I’d ever loved always betrayed me.”

“Sweetheart, I’m sorry. No one should have to go through what you did.”

“It’s life, isn’t it?” she said bitterly. “I mean you were scammed by the woman who professed to love you. Why would anyone ever bother to love someone?”

“I don’t know. But if you look at Alex and Sophie, it’s easy to see true love does exist.”

Phoebe knew he was right and she also knew that she loved
him
. But she was too scared to tell him that. What if he laughed at her? As stupid as it was she did want to have Marco in her life. She wanted to share things with him. Plan a future — even talk children — something they hadn’t done previously. She knew he cared about her. He wouldn’t have come and chased her down if he didn’t. He’d turned to her when the memories of his best friend’s car accident threatened to overwhelm him. Maybe he did love her in his own way. He just didn’t realize it.