Seduction by Song (19 page)

The empty stadium that greets me when I show up for Romeo’s rehearsal is a strange sight. True to Romeo’s word, the security guards dotting the horizon of the stadium let me through without any trouble. It takes me a while to make my way to the stage since I was told to take a route that would approach it from behind, so as not to disturb the rehearsal in progress.

When I do find the stage, I find it totally empty. I frown, wondering if I had been misdirected. That last guard I talked to
had
been awfully old—maybe he made a mistake?

I don’t have time to think about this for long, or to even begin trying to find my way, when I hear shouting coming from a room backstage. The door that the noise is coming from is closed, but as I sneak closer to it, not wanting to be heard just yet, I could hear the words clearly through the wall of the dressing room that the voices were coming from.

“—of the tickets were refunded, you son of a bitch!” someone—Dante, I think—is shouting. “Hey, man, I fucking hate to admit it, but the chicks come to this thing for
you
. For a chance to get
wooed
by the legendary
Romeo Ortiz
or some shit. What did you think was going to happen if you started playing favorites, huh?”

I gasp. Romeo begins to talk, but he’s keeping his own voice quiet and controlled—I can’t make out what he’s saying. The problem is clear enough, though:
me
.

Because of me, people were refunding their tickets. Because of me, Romeo was getting into fights with the band mates. Because of me, everything was—ruined.

Without thinking, I run.

Back in the hotel room, I slip into a pair of sweatpants and curl up on the bed. I want to cry, but the tears won’t come. My thoughts and feelings are still at war, logical and emotion trying to fight for control. On the one hand, it was clear enough that I did what I had to do.

I could tell from the way Romeo talked last night that he would never, under normal circumstances, so anything to harm his career.

Everyone works hard to get to the place they’ve always dreamed of being
, he’d said. He was living his dream. Who was
I
to get in the way of that? I couldn’t ever hurt him like that. Except, I obviously already had.

Although I had no idea how much their ticket sales suffered for tonight’s show, I knew that it couldn’t be good. Dante was hotheaded, I knew that much, but he also loved his job. He wouldn’t blow up at Romeo like that unless the losses were significant.

Losses that
I
caused.

Yet—yet I couldn’t convince myself that this, that
leaving
, was the right thing to do. After all, in Romeo’s arms was the place
I’d
always dreamed of being. In the months before I met him, I had these dreams—sexual, sensual. A faceless man would wrap me up in his arms and pleasure me in ways I never knew in reality. I wanted so badly to meet this man, and when I fell into Romeo’s arms, my dreams began to shift. The man was no longer faceless. He was Romeo—he spoke with his voice, touched with his hands, and stared straight into my soul with those deep brown eyes of his. And my initial reluctance, my resistance, my disdain for him are something that made this feeling so much sweeter in the end.

Shouldn’t I fight for the right to stay with him?

I worked hard to get into my dream university and I worked hard on my thesis, but I never had to
fight
for something I desperately wanted. The cards had simply fallen in my favor all my life. Even now I didn’t have a challenge facing me—only a decision.

And it felt like the toughest decision I would ever make.

I shake my head, trying to put the whole situation out of my mind for even a second. Romeo was probably already wondering where I was, the rehearsal I promised to attend having started hours ago. If he didn’t see me at the show tonight—well, I didn’t know
what
he would do. It’s frustrating how my insecurities, barely visible before, had surfaced now that I was falling for him.

I didn’t know what
I
would do, what I
should
do. I knew I couldn’t go to Romeo now. I would never be able to think straight if I did.

Yet I didn’t want to be alone, either. I grabbed my purse and changed into my jeans again. The mall the girls said they went to wasn’t far. They took the car, but I could call a cab and meet them there. Maybe they would have some advice—just because I was the clinical psychologist in training didn’t mean I didn’t need some advice for myself once in a while.

I’m already on my way to the door when I hear a knock. Thinking it’s one of the girls (they probably forgot their hotel key or something), I open it without hesitation.

Damn
, did I wish I hesitated.

My brother is glaring at me before I even open my mouth to ask him how he found me. He doesn’t enter the room, almost as though he doesn’t want to stand too close to me. I cross my arms and wait for him to explain his presence.

After a moment, he holds up a magazine like it explained everything.

In a way, I guess it did. Its headline proudly declares:
Erin Gouchet and Romeo Ortiz—True Love or Just Sex?

“You know how I feel about this man,” Logan says. I can hear the anger in his voice. He isn’t shouting at me yet, but he’s just barely containing his rage. “Do you have anything to say to yourself?”

I want to snap that I don’t have to explain myself to him or
anyone
. I’m a grown woman, and I’m damn tired of everyone—of him, of
Dante
—for questioning my motives with Romeo.

The retort dies in my throat, again, and I can’t meet Logan’s eyes. “You can’t listen to those rags,” I say, lamely. “They’re pretty much all bullshit.”

“So you
aren’t
sleeping with his fucker?” Logan says, his voice rising in volume. His rage is boiling over, I could see that clearly enough, but it wasn’t directed at me—instead, he stares down at the magazine as though he were furious with Romeo. “Is he using you as some sort of publicity stunt? Erin, you just say the word and I’ll make sure that liar—.”

“Stop—!” I begin to say, but the rest of the words don’t make it out of my mouth. I sigh, frustrated with myself, and bring my head up to frown at him. “That’s not what’s happening, Logan. He isn’t using me. I—I
am
seeing him. It’s not just sex, though. It’s much more than that..”

Logan blinks and stares at me for a moment. His eyes soften for one split second before his expression hardens again as he shakes his head.

“This isn’t
right
, Erin.” He crosses his arms, relaxing his hands that he had, probably subconsciously, balled up into fists seconds ago. “The way he’s flaunting you to the media is putting you—putting
us
, our whole
family
, to shame. Look at you. I bet you’re going to see him now.”

I open my mouth to protest, shaking my head furiously. “No! I mean—I don’t
know
. I don’t know if I’m going to see him, okay?”

My voice cracks a little. Indecision still plagues my mind, the memory of Dante’s argument from earlier that afternoon coming up. My brother hated that I was with Romeo and even
I
wasn’t sure if I should be with him—what would be the cost? His career? I couldn’t risk that. Yet how could I leave him when the feelings between us were growing more powerful each day?

Logan’s scowl indicates that he doesn’t believe my denial for a second. “You’re not going anywhere, Erin. I know that asshole’s in town, and you aren’t going anywhere near him. He’s going to go off with his whores and you’re going to forget about him. I will
not
let him make you one of
those
women.”

I gape at him. How
dare
he? My eyes begin to sting, but I force back the tears. Logan is done making me cry. I was no longer a child he could control. His determination to keep me from Romeo made me more certain than ever before that I needed to see Romeo tonight. Silently, and sarcastically, I thank Logan for helping me make up my mind.

But the way he squared his shoulders made it obvious that he had no intentions of letting me out of this room. He was going to guard the door like a dog and I was going to have to think of another way out.

In one small act of defiance, I slam the door on his face and lock it shut.

Once I moved into the room far enough that he wouldn’t be able to hear me, I sigh. So I had decided to see Romeo tonight—even if I did need to leave him for the sake of his career, I at least owed him an explanation. Besides, who’s to say we couldn’t make this work? All I had to do was make sure he knew he had to put the band before me. We would be able to keep seeing each other, perhaps in secret. None of his female fans had to know. The media circus surrounding our alleged relationship would fade away soon enough.

But
now
what? The decision didn’t help me now.

I was trapped.

The girls, as usual, save my life.

When I realized they were still out shopping, and therefore free from Logan’s watchful eye, I texted them to let them know I needed an escape route.

April, of course, rants about how much of a bastard Logan is for a good half hour before she lets Maddie and Juliet take over. She always hated him, but she kept quiet around him after I made her promise she would. I knew, deep down inside, that she had always been right about Logan—he was my brother, though, and I wasn’t ready to admit that out loud even if I already knew it internally.

We’re only on the second floor of the hotel we chose for the night, so they devise a plan involving a daring jump and a sturdy branch on the tree outside. I feel just like a kid again, when we used to climb the trees in my backyard until our parents screamed for us to come back down before we killed ourselves falling.

It still takes a good five minutes for me to psych myself up enough to leap out of a window and into a tree. My heart pounds with adrenaline and I almost chicken out, but an image of Romeo whispering
bonita
against my cheek flashes before my eyes.

I jump.

And I nearly slip. If I had fallen to the ground, I probably would have cracked my skull. April’s sitting on a lower branch, though, and she springs up to steady me before I can topple over. We’re both breathing hard by the time we make it to the ground, climbing down carefully after that near miss.

“Your brother is such an idiot,” April says matter-of-factly as they all hug me tightly. “Are you okay?”

I nod. As much as Logan’s words bother me, I put them out of my mind just like I put all those media headlines out of my mind. I had to focus on Romeo now. It was the only thing keeping me sane.

To keep from drawing Logan’s suspicions, the girls had parked Maddie’s car—which Logan would certainly recognize—out back. We sneak out the same way they came in and make it to the concert without another hitch. Logan must realize at some point that I’m gone because he begins to call me, lighting up my phone every few seconds.

I shut it off. There’s nothing he could do about this now.

Chapter
Twenty Three

The concert hall is still pretty packed, but it’s nowhere near as full as it was last night. Several patches of empty seats can be seen all around the bleachers when I look up, and I bite at my lower lip when I realize how much of a dent I single-handedly made in Romeo’s audience.

Maddie must read my mind or something, because she smiles and pats me on the back. “Don’t worry about it. Everyone has off days.”

I laugh, a bit nervously. I don’t want her to know that the truth behind tonight’s poor showing is rooted in a problem with me at its center. She’s probably already guessed that truth, anyway. At least she isn’t angry with me—yet.

Romeo appears before long. I heard whisperings from the row behind me about the opening act abandoning them when they realized how many seats had been refunded. A pang of guilt twists itself around my stomach, making me physically nauseous. I try not to show it, though, because Romeo’s eyes land on me.

They’re laced with confusion and the slightest bit of hurt. That guilt grows stronger, heavier in my stomach.

It doesn’t go away, not even when he begins to sing. Throughout his first few songs, his performance is nowhere near as strong as the previous two nights. He hits all the right notes and makes all the right moves on stage, but he lacks his usual energy. I cringe, knowing that that’s entirely my fault for breaking my promise to him.

The crowd that showed up tonight doesn’t seem to notice the change, at least. They’re just as into it as they always are and, soon enough, Romeo regains some of that energy. Perhaps it’s instinct taking over, or perhaps he’s decided that I might have had a good reason for missing rehearsal that day. Whatever the reason, he charges through the rest of the show at full force. He lets his eyes wander instead of settling them on me all night, which gives me hope that he might realize what he needs to do: pick another girl to sing to despite the attraction between us.