Seductive Lies (Secret Lives Series) (11 page)

“Oh, dear. Oh, dear
.” Bessie froze to her spot. “You are not here to see Arthur? You can’t...he’s not here…but you can’t,” Bessie repeated and then added, “Harriet, he’s married to the Duke of Torridge’s daughter, Sophia…”

Bessie played on Harriet’s frayed
nerves, but it wasn’t Bessie who caused Harriet’s heart to pause. The most lovely lady stepped out from the drawing room. A sudden paralyzing fear overcame Harriet.

Lady Sophia strolled out into the
foyer in an imperious manner. Tall with a halo of raven hair, her dark, intense eyes bore into Harriet. Years of training assisted in the Viscountess’ poise, for the look told Harriet the lady knew well who she was.

“May I help you?” Lady Sophia asked
in a cool, distant voice. Her eyebrows rose slightly as her hand lay upon her protruding stomach.

Unconsciously, Harriet curtsied to
the lady, not knowing why exactly, except it was clear she was the Viscountess of Daneford. Harriet shook her head. “I beg your pardon, Lady Daneford. I have imposed, but I haven’t seen my cousin in quite some time. I should have sent a note.”

Lady Sophia shot a look at Bessie
, who gave her a weak smile.

“My cousin, Lady Sophia, Miss Harriet
Burke.” Bessie made the introduction, looking befuddled. “Dear Harriet, you cannot go now. Please, come in. There is so much for us to catch up. We were about to have tea. Were we not, Sophia…?”

Harriet shook her head. “I believe
it best I leave.”

“But I can hear the rain begin. At
least stay until the rain disburses,” Bessie begged.

Harriet stole a look at
Bessie. She wanted nothing more than to tell her cousin she was only making matters worse with her insistence. Then to Harriet’s horror, the door opened and a figure came stomping into the foyer. James Carlisle.

Shaking off the rain from his coat
and hat, he handed both to the butler. He paused at the sight of Harriet and smiled a wide grin. “Ah, Miss Burke. I didn’t expect to see you here.”

Harriet could take no more. She had
made a huge mistake. Summoning all the dignity she had within her, she ran out the open door and didn’t look back.

* * * *

The whole of her heart shattered. Harriet had her answer. The world she lived was no more than a fantasy… a cruel jest. She held no memory of her return trip back to this house. She could no longer call it home for she could not… would not stay. The realization overwhelmed her that she had no home.

Time passed. It must
have, for Harriet heard the grandfather clock chime eleven o’clock. Mrs. Cummings had pressed her to eat to the point she had left an untouched tray on the table beside the sofa. Harriet had not moved from the seat she had taken in the window seat, staring out into the darkened night… the cold, lonely night.

Harriet drew in a deep breath
, trying desperately to contain her emotions. She dared not give in to the tears welling within her eyes. There would be plenty of time for them once she had left. She had to leave. It was the only certainty she held within her.

Oh, whatever was she going to do!
Compose yourself!
She had no time for self-pity. She could ill afford to fall victim to a fit of vapors. Her mind raced with her limited options. Even now, Lady Sophia’s eyes haunted her. The lady knew who she was.
Oh, my God...what I am...a kept woman...a mistress.

Within the stillness of the dark surrounding her, she heard the door creak open and then click shut. He was here.

"Mrs. Cummings is worried about you," he said. "She said you did not change out of your wet clothes nor did you eat."

The sound of his boots clicking over the wooden floor echoed around her. She refused to turn around. She couldn't face him, but he gave her no option. He sat on the edge of the window seat and reached for her hand. Quickly, she withdrew it.

"Go away and leave me," she said. Her quivering voice betrayed the raging emotions swelling within her.

Arthur would have none of it. He took her by the shoulders and forced her to look at him. "You should never have gone there, Harriet. If you had questions, you should have asked. Why...why did you go into London?"

"Does it matter?”

“How could you think it would not? Come, Harriet, you are not that naïve not to have considered by now that some underhanded dealings have surrounded us. You have to understand that there are those would wish us only harm. Who was it that took you to my residence in London? Why would you have done so? Did you want to humiliate me in some manner?”

“You dare reproach me! It is not I who has told lies. I may have lived the lies, but I did not tell them.” Her anger spewed forth. She pushed back out of his hold. “If you must know, it was Mr. Carlisle. It was he who came to me, telling me that my life was not what I thought. Do not dare question his motives. It is his cousin you married! You are married, Arthur! It was his concern for his cousin’s welfare. With everything that is good, Arthur! She is with child, your child!

“I…”
She stumbled over her words. “I steadfastly refused to acknowledge your misdeeds. I held to the Arthur I loved. He would never have deceived me in such a manner.”

His brow furrowed; his eyes darkened. “I may have stretched the truth a
little, but, be honest, Harriet, you did not press me or question me. You had to suspect that all was not as it seemed. We have been together for more than four months. Surely, you must have known if I could have married you, I would have done so.”

“I trusted you,” she whispered. “I took you upon your word.”

“Well you should. In all, my darling, I stated the truth. I love you and want you with me always. Have I not shown you how much I love you? Did I not find you? If not for me, you would still be there or worse.”

“You told me we were to marry,” she uttered with the greatest difficulty. “Why would I question you?”

“Now you know that would be an impossibility. Would it not? We could debate the issue, but it will not change the truth. You were cruelly thrust from my arms. I have remedied the situation the best I could. What, my love, do you have to complain? Have I not been by your side since I found you?”

Her eyes welled with tears, but she could not take her eyes from his. She stared at him through cloudy eyes and shook her head. “Why would I not want to be with you, Arthur? We were to be married. I pledged my love to you. Wrote to you constantly
. Only when I was told you were missing did I despair… but even through the pain of the thought of losing you, I clung to the hope you lived.

“
Yes… yes… I may not fully comprehend the extremes that were taken to keep us apart… but I ask you why you did not search for me on your return? Instead—” She choked back tears. “Instead… not only did you break our engagement… Arthur, you married another within a couple of months of your return. Why… why did you not believe my words I swore to you on your departure that I would wait for you forever?”

His expression altered. His eyes hardened. He reached over and jerked her to him
, so close that she felt his breath upon her face. “I told you what happened. I thought you deserted me. A foolish mistake, but one I cannot undo. You are upset at the moment. Calm yourself.”

“I cannot live this way, Arthur. You who know me better than anyone.”

“And I told you it matters only that we have each other. Think, my dear, if you leave, where would you go? Back to Beebe Manor? I believe they have turned their backs upon you. Have you friends? After two years, I feel that there are few who would welcome you.”

“My inheritance?”

“It is no more. I have not told you all I discovered, as it was of little consequence. It is complicated at best, but it seems your money is no more. I don’t want you to worry, Harriet. Your needs will be met. I do not want to wound you more, Harriet.

“I know you do not deserve the fate you have been dealt. If you leave me now, you will have no money, no family, no friends.”

“My inheritance lost? How? What am I to do?” she uttered under her breath. Suddenly, desolation gripped her. Recoiling back, her hands clutched her stomach. “I do not feel well.”

Arthur took her into his arms and carried her into the bedroom they had shared many
 nights. She had no protest in her when he laid her down on the bed and began to undress her himself until Sadie appeared. In the distance, she heard him command Mrs. Cummings to fetch the doctor.

The icy cold that encompassed her thawed. A dry nightdress, the warmth of the fire
, and a bowl of broth revived her sufficiently before the doctor made his entrance.

Afterwards, she watched from the corner of her eyes while Arthur conversed with the doctor. She pulled the covers higher. She had no desire for the row that was about to commence.

Her hand rested upon her growing stomach. She had to think of the child. In a few months, she would be responsible for another’s life. Her anger subsided with the thought. She had to be strong.

She blinked back her tears. How could she have allowed herself to succumb to Arthur so blindly? Love
, she told herself quickly. She loved him.

Harriet
watched the doctor leave, with Sadie following behind the doctor to show him out. She was alone once more with Arthur and her heart ached. She felt his eyes upon her as he walked soundly across the room to her side.

He sat down alongside of her and tenderly caressed her cheek. She wanted nothing more than to throw herself into his arms and accept his protection
… his love, but it was not hers to accept. She had to remind herself he was not hers, no matter his words. He had a family… a wife and soon a child.

She turned her face away and pushed his hand away.

“I know you are upset, Harriet, with good reason, but we will work all of this out between us. We will handle everything as long as we are together. I do not want you upset, not with a child coming. You should have told me you suspected.”

Harriet stared at him and sat up. “And what would you have done? What do you plan
to do now?”

“It changes nothing, except know I will love the babe also as I love you.”

Slowly, she shook her head. Her rambling thoughts cleared. “You understand nothing, Arthur. You need to leave. You are right. I don’t know what I will do, but I know it will not be here.”

“You need to rest. Then we will talk again. Think of the child
… our child.”

“I am,” she said with conviction. “You will not change my mind. I have listened to you. I have listened to your proclamation of love, but I have yet to hear you ask for forgiveness. You say you love me. Yet you gave me no choice with the life that you have condemned me to.

“You do not know what love is. You know only your own wants and needs. You… you took what we had and destroyed it. You made it torrid and scandalous. If it was only myself… I might find it to forgive you, but it’s not.” She cleared her voice and composed herself, ignoring the searing pain scorching her heart. “My child… my child will be born a bastard… a bastard, Arthur. That I can’t forgive.”

She turned her back to him in silence. She composed herself long enough to hear him walk out the room and shut the door. Then she wept herself to sleep.

Arthur sat in the dark. His head pounded.
Oh, God, he had lost her!
The only one… only thing that mattered to him… was gone. She would never forgive him. He saw it in her eyes.
How did everything go to hell?

Before he left for the war, everything seemed so clear. Now, everything crumbled around him. What
… what had he done that was so wrong? He had been tricked… tricked into marrying Sophia. He never wanted Sophia… he married her only to please his grandfather.

No
… that was not the whole truth. He had lashed out his hurt against Harriet. His pride retaliated for the pain her betrayal created, except… except she hadn’t betrayed him. He had her…

He had been a fool. Her words gnawed at his soul and echoed in his heart. The truth rained down upon him. She was right. It was not he
who would suffer. Society would not ostracize him for his actions… it was Harriet.

Out of the whole bloody mess
, she was the victim and would remain so.
What the hell was he thinking?
The truth… he wasn’t thinking. He wanted her in his life. He wanted her and took her as his mistress. Why… why could she not accept the role…

Because
… because her expectations had been to become his wife. He had done nothing to discourage the thought. If he had been a gentleman, he would have rescued her without taking her innocence.

It had been his intention. He thought he needed only to know that she hadn’t betrayed him. It would be enough to know she was safe
… but his good intentions dissipated the moment he saw her.

Now, she had been trapped by the rules of men; he
, trapped by his station in life.

A knock on the door distracted his contemplations. He made no movement. He had instructed Jenkins he did not want to be disturbed. He wanted only to be left alone.