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I couldn’t think of the words to ask him why he said that; all I could think of was seeing him move to that sound that I’d heard in the house – the visions of him that kept invading my thoughts…I wanted to make them real. I wanted to know him.

“
I’d like that,” I said, looking down, too scared to stare into his eyes any longer.

At that moment, I could see the headlights of his Hummer. Aden stopped beside the house and idled, like he knew Draven wanted a private goodbye.

“
I kept you out late tonight, so…I guess it would be nice to let you sleep in – can I come by around noon?” he asked, tilting his head and trying to catch my eyes.

I nodded and tried to smile as I daringly looked up at him. He smiled shyly back at me. “Sweet dreams.”

I shook my head no. “Don’t dream.”

“
Ever?” he asked in a concerned tone.

“
Never,” I said, slyly trying to break the anticipation of the moment.

He slowly reached his hand for my face and let his thumb gently trace across my cheek bone. “They’ll come back,” he whispered slowly, letting his hand fall. He looked down, then stepped away. 


I stood stunned for a moment; when I looked up, he was almost to the door. He looked over his shoulder and smiled before disappearing into the darkness.

Chapter 8

When I opened the back door, I found Kara at the table again. Her computer was closed, and she was on the phone, laughing quietly at what the other person was saying. I walked past her to get some water from the refrigerator. It was almost three in the morning, and I assumed she was talking to her husband, Robert. He was somewhere on the other side of the world, traveling with soldiers, telling their story. I had no idea how Kara seemed to balance the idea of that; if it were me each time the phone rang, I’d be terrified of bad news.

“
Charlie’s home,” I heard Kara say. “Yes, I passed my first night on duty,” she said, giggling. “OK, I love you.”

She hit ‘End’ on her phone and turned to look at me. She then raised her eyebrows and grinned warmly. “Well, how does Salem feel?” she asked as she stood and stretched.

I sighed. “It’s been a long day…I’m tired…confused,” I mumbled.

She stepped closer to me and smiled slightly. “I think…I think that you’re finding your way back to who you are…just let it come to you, Charlie.”

I nodded. “I think those pills may have had an effect on my memory – but I’m not sure if I wanna remember something that my mind chose to forget…I have…I have a lot of things to worry about right now.”

“
Those ‘other’ things….could be what’s causing you to forget – don’t blame the pills; just take one step, one emotion at a time, and you’ll find the answers to whatever you want to know.”

I looked down, knowing that all I wanted was to have control over my life again. Kara put her arm around me and began leading me out of the kitchen. The second we reached the living room, I heard the guitar again; in the still of the night, it was so clear, so addictive.

I stopped Kara. “Listen...I know you can hear that,” I whispered.

Kara’s eyes searched over my face with absolute wonderment; it was as if I were making her proud. I’d seen that look on her face before, every time I reached some kind of milestone in my life.

“
Baby, it’s not my song; I shouldn’t hear it,” Kara said, kissing my forehead and walking to the stairs that led to her room.

I wanted to stop her and ask her what she meant, but I couldn’t; all I could do was listen to every chord...it was absolutely divine.

I started to hum along with the chords as I walked up the steps that led to my room. With the sound of my breaths, the guitar grew louder, like it had finally been perceived as real and was rejoicing. A smile came across my face. I didn’t care how crazy the idea sounded, I felt like I was home, in my father’s house, and he was going to show me the way.

Once in my room, I slid off my boots and jeans and pulled my phones from my bag. I found the charger for my phone on my dresser; I guess Kara had brought it up here. The charger for Britain’s phone was still in the box. I plugged them in the wall by my bed and turned on every lamp in the room before climbing under the covers, still humming along with the guitar as it played.

I scrolled through the texts on my phone. The first one was from Draven: ’When you wake hold fast to the dream you think you never had.’

I smiled and read the words again; they almost sounded like lyrics. I texted a smiley face and ‘sweet dreams’ back to him.

Bianca had texted me back: ‘it’s only boring when Charlie is not around.’ I sighed, trying to think of a way to talk them out of coming. I then put the phone down and reached for Britain’s; his last text was thirty minutes ago: ‘Starting to get worried maybe I should just come now…’ I furrowed my eyebrows and scrolled to the text before that: ‘text me when you get home – I want to make sure you’re safe.’

Heat burned my cheeks. I felt suffocated by him, but I knew that if I didn’t answer there would be a knock on my door sometime in the next few hours, and the last thing I wanted was to take away the balance that I’d found.

I texted back: ‘Paranoid?’

Instantly, he responded: ‘Of losing you – yes.’

‘
You can’t lose something you never had’ I texted back.

‘
You know that’s not true –’ was his reply.

Angry tears came to the corners of my eyes – what was with this guy? What was I to him?

‘
Home now sweet dreams’ was all I could think to say.

‘
I’m going to call you I want to hear your voice’ was his response.

‘
No, the house echoes Kara will hear – trying to keep a balance’

‘
am I on that scale?’

‘
Just me’ I texted, feeling the confidence behind those words.

‘
I have patience precious’

‘
That makes one of us’ I texted back, then threw the phone on the table, uninterested in any response he would have.

I heard it vibrate again, but I didn’t answer; I just hummed myself to sleep along with the sound of the guitar.

I was rattled out of my sleep by a vibrating phone. I squinted my eyes and moaned, prepared to tell Britain to just leave me alone and go to sleep, but when I sat up and saw the sunlight coming over the short wall in my room, I knew it was morning. I reached for my phone and pulled it loose from the charger. It wasn’t a text; it was ringing, and the Caller ID said ‘Mom’.

I slid the bar on the screen to answer. “Hi,” I whispered, not finding my voice so early.

“
Still sleeping?” I heard her say.

I looked at the clock; on my screen, it was eleven – and a singe of adrenaline raced down my spine as I realized that Draven would be here in an hour.

“
Not now,” I said, sitting up and rubbing the sleep out of my eyes.

“
Did you have fun?” she asked.

“
A lot of fun… good music,” I said, smiling and thinking of hearing my song live, Draven’s voice echoing all around me, and the crowd rocking to their perfect rhythm.

“
Did you see Draven play?” she asked.

I felt the heat flush my cheeks. I wondered if that was why she’d let me go: because she knew they were going to be there – it was like she trusted him. I found that odd, she didn’t trust anyone.

“
I did. I met him, too; Kara let us get breakfast after the bands played.”

There was a silence, then I heard her sigh. “She told me,” Mom said quietly.

“
Were you just trying to get a confession?” I asked, trying not to sound sarcastic. I was really just embarrassed that they were talking about me.

“
No, just judging the sound of your voice. Kara said you looked happy. I wanted to hear it.”

I tilted my head and furrowed my eyebrows, trying to understand what I could have said or done to make Kara think I was happy. I was quite sure I hadn’t acted any different, at least on the outside.

“
It was a lot of fun. Thanks for letting me go – and thanks for my phone,” I said, getting up and looking through my closet for something to wear.

“
Did you get a chance to play any?” she asked curiously.

My heart started to race as I realized she wasn’t going to let the idea of me playing for her fade.

I thought of those few precious moments in the studio after she left, as well as the sound I could still hear all around me in the background, and found a way to calm my racing heart.

“
Little bit. Draven said he’d help me. He should be here soon.”

“
Good...,” she said quietly.

As she said the words, the guitar that had been lingering in the background grew louder, as if to rejoice. I smiled slightly; I swear, it felt like my dad was here.

“
I talked to Evan this morning…he said Draven seemed happy when he came home, too.”

I blushed as the idea of my mom talking to Evan about me surfaced in my thoughts.

“
I didn’t realize you talked to him so much,” I mumbled.

“
Every day for twenty years,” she said quietly, as if I should know that. I furrowed my eyebrows, knowing that there was no way the two of them were a couple – the idea just seemed so out of place to me. “I was hoping you could spend some time around him, too, but he had to fly out to the UK this morning.”

“
I hope Draven didn’t stay here just to help me with the guitar lessons,” I said in the most believable tone I could manage.

She was quiet for a few seconds. “Evan just went home to look into a few things…Salem is the only place Draven wants to be right now.”

“
I think it’s the only place I want to be right now, too,” I said before I could stop myself. I squinted my eyes as I waited for her to say something.

“
I’m starting to think we should have just driven home sooner…it seems to be making you stronger.”

“
I don’t feel any stronger…just more confused.”

“
You’re going to be fine,” she promised in the most convincing tone she could manage. “I’m sure you need to get ready. I just have one strange question before I let you go...,” she said in a concerned tone.

“
Alright?” I said in a shaky voice, almost afraid of what she may call ‘strange’.

“
Did Bianca move?” she asked.

I felt the bottom of my stomach fall out. I swear, this woman always knew when something was faintly off; every time I had the slightest notion of hiding something from her or walking down the wrong path, she’d say or do something just in time to stop me.

“
Um...not sure...why?” I asked, trying to sound surprised.

“
Well, she’d left a few things at the apartment, so I told Rosa to take them to her. She said when she got to the building, the doorman told her that no one by that name lived there and that the apartment number she had was of one that had been going through remodels for almost a year.”

“
Really? Maybe Rosa just went to the wrong building. I’ve been inside before, and there was no construction.”

“
I thought the same thing, so I called the number I had to talk to her dad; I figured I could at least see how that case was going, but that number doesn’t belong to him anymore. I can’t even find a number for his offices downtown – it’s just really strange, like they vanished the second you left town.”

“
I don’t know, mom; I’m sure they have a lot of places to live.”

“
OK. Well, Rosa has her stuff if she asks you for it.”

I tried to change the subject before she found the words to lecture me on how my choice of friends was all wrong. “When are you flying out? How long are you staying again?”

“
I’m at the airport now. I’m just going to see how everything is working out with the opening. If everything is good, I might just come and stay with you and Kara for a few days. I can work from the house.”

I held my breath, feeling the stress of having her here at the same time Britain and Bianca were supposed to be here. I knew she was waiting to judge my response.

“
Well, maybe I can learn a few chords before you get here,” was all I could think to say.

“
Right…your teacher should be there soon. I’ll let you go – love you.”

“
Love you,” I said quietly before I hit ‘End’ and pushed the ‘Sleep’ button on my phone.

I threw it on my bed, then rushed to the bathroom to get ready. As I brushed my teeth and hair, I tried to understand the woman my mother was. I tried to remember a time when we weren’t strangers, but I couldn’t - it seemed like Bianca and Britain had caused us to fall further apart, and I hated that.

I went to my closet and pulled out a pair of black Capri leggings. I put on a long white tank top, then covered it with a black lace shirt that had short sleeves. I looked through my bag of shoes and found my black and white Sketchers. I slid them on, leaving the short laces loose. I checked the mirror in the bathroom to make sure this outfit had come together right. I didn’t bother putting on makeup; I just put a touch of perfume on my wrist and neck.

I heard my phone vibrating again; another call was coming in. Thinking it was mom, I rushed to my bed and fumbled with the covers to find it; Bianca’s name was on the ID. I sighed and slid the bar and answered.