Authors: V. K. Sykes
“Have a good flight back to the city,” she said. “And don’t let the door hit your ass on the way out.”
Jackson stared at her for a couple of moments, then turned on his heel and stalked out.
When Micah finished with the last of the porch windows, he put down the caulking gun and eyed the general store next door. Holly was working only a few steps from him, and yet the distance between them yawned as wide as the Grand Canyon.
According to Beatrice, she and Holly had spent most of the afternoon getting the store ready for the renovations, with help from Morgan and Sabrina. Beatrice had gone home by late afternoon, and Morgan and Sabrina had taken off to tend to their B&B guests. Holly apparently intended to keep working through most of the evening.
Micah had deliberately avoided the store, wanting to give Holly some space. Like he knew the sun would rise in the east, he knew she’d be questioning—and probably regretting—what they’d done out on Jerry’s deserted dock. He suspected it had been as mind-blowing an experience for her as it was for him.
It had changed everything between them.
When he wasn’t thinking about Holly, of course he was thinking about the break-in last night at Del Rideout’s. After taking Del’s statement first thing in the morning, he’d briefed Griff Turner and then interviewed all the neighbors in the vicinity of the burglary. As he’d feared, no one had seen or heard anything unusual last night.
As gut-wrenching as a second break-in was, at least it told him that the thief had to be plugged in when it came to who was taking meds in Seashell Bay. Because he didn’t believe for a second that cash was what the guy was looking for at the Rideout place. Del lived more modestly than most, and his place, like Fitz’s, sure wouldn’t be one any thief would target for a grab of cash, jewelry, or other valuables. No, it was clear to Micah that the guy was after Del’s pain pills. Like a lot of people in town, he obviously knew Del was taking them for his injury. Unfortunately for the thief, he didn’t know Del never left home without them.
After washing his hands in the kitchen, Micah said good-bye to Florence and Beatrice and headed out to his cruiser. He glanced over at the little general store as he got in. It was lit up on the inside, though the fluorescent lamp over the ancient gas pump was off. That would normally be an indication that the store was closed, except that particular bulb had been burned out for weeks.
He sat for a few minutes with the big engine idling as conflicting arguments jostled around inside his head. His pride, usually the loudest voice, told him in no uncertain terms to leave Holly alone. If she’d wanted to see him, she’d have come over to the house while he was working, if only to say a quick hello. She would have seen his cruiser every time she glanced out one of the store’s side windows.
Pride didn’t seem to be winning the battle though. His teeth clenched at the idea of not talking to her tonight—of not holding her in his arms. Last night had been everything he’d ever dreamed it would be. He’d had his share of women over the years, and there’d been some pretty great, if a bit infrequent, sex. But making love to Holly had been on a whole other level, because his heart and mind had been just as into it as his body. Maybe that sounded dumb, but the emotions he’d felt were too big to put into words.
And now the thought that it might have been just a one-off was turning him inside out.
Micah drove next door and stopped in front, shutting off the engine and yanking out the keys.
Enough with giving her space.
He’d been giving her a freaking ocean of space for years. Last night, for the first time since he’d known Holly Tyler, he’d figured he might actually have a chance with her, so he might as well find out here and now if that was more than wishful thinking.
Because if being with Holly—truly being with her—were just wishful thinking, he needed to try to rip her out of his heart once and for all.
Holly had been nervously watching Micah’s parked cruiser all evening. A dozen times she’d thought about going over to talk to him and had even headed toward the door more than once. But her anxiety and simply not knowing what to say had pulled her back.
She hated feeling so awkward. She loved Micah—was possibly falling
in love
with Micah—but there were so many complications that freaked her out.
When she heard the Tahoe’s engine start up, she felt a brief moment of relief, a coward’s respite. After what seemed like a very long time, she heard him pull out of the driveway and went to look. But instead of driving away, the SUV stopped directly in front of the store and Micah got out, looking like a man on a mission.
Holly bolted away from the window and hurried into the tiny restroom, where she whipped the scrunchie off her ponytail. She shook out her hair and tried to style it with shaking fingers. Her face and neck were flushed and sweaty from packing and lugging boxes to the storage room. In her now-dirty yoga pants, tank top, and sneakers, she figured she must look like she’d spent the day jogging around the island in the hot sun before rolling around in the dirt.
When Micah rapped sharply on the door, she inhaled a few deep breaths and walked back across the store to open it.
“I’m afraid we’re closed, Deputy,” she said, forcing a smile as she stepped back to let him inside. “No coffee for you.”
So lame.
Micah came in and closed the door behind him. His smile looked forced too, though his gaze zeroed in on her skintight pants with a spark of interest. “Hey, Holly. I just wondered if there was anything I could do to help you. It looks like you’ve put in a really long day.”
God, he is so wonderful. Holly, what is wrong with you?
As he towered over her, she couldn’t help thinking how amazing that brawny body had felt wrapped around her.
She kept her gaze firmly fastened on his face. “You’ve had a long day too. Are the porch windows all set?”
He nodded.
“That’s so great. It shouldn’t be long now until the aunties can enjoy it, right?”
“Just a few details left.” He glanced around the nearly empty store and frowned. “I really should have been here helping you tonight.”
“Oh, no. I’d rather you finished up over there as soon as possible.”
The conversation felt so strained that Holly wanted to throw up. Micah let out a tired sigh, perhaps thinking the same thing
“Babe, we really should talk about last night.”
This is not going to turn out well.
“I know,” she said, dropping her gaze to the floor.
“How about a walk?”
“Sounds like a good idea.” At least going for a walk meant they wouldn’t have to stare at each other as they talked. “I guess I can leave the rest of the work until morning.”
Actually, the store was in a perfect state of readiness. All she needed to do tomorrow was unlock the door for Brendan and his assistant.
Micah waited outside while Holly shut off the lights and locked up. They headed up Island Road, the soft dusk of evening falling around them.
“I saw Leigh fly out,” he said. “Hell, that damn helicopter practically blew Roy’s golf cart into a ditch. I thought the old guy was going to have a stroke, he was so pissed.” His disgusted tone said everything Holly was thinking about her ex-boyfriend too.
“I’m sorry about Roy. Jackson had to get back to work this morning.”
“Good. I hope he never sets foot in Seashell Bay again.”
“I think you can bet the house on that.”
He gently stroked her shoulder, unconsciously, she thought. The touch of his callused hand on her bare skin was electric, and it brought everything they’d done on the dock rushing back with blazing intensity. Nerve endings fired from her scalp down to the soles of her feet.
She sighed. “Micah, about us… we let things get out of control last night. And it was totally my fault. I got too emotional at the party, and I shouldn’t have let myself… uh, get carried away like that.”
Even in the fading light, she couldn’t miss the stark pain that flashed across his features. It felt like she’d been kicked in the gut.
“Hold on,” he said. “Are you saying what happened between us was just a reaction to what Leigh did?” His voice was thick with disbelief.
Part of her wanted to say exactly that and hopefully be done with it. But she knew it would be a lie. And she hoped she was done with lying, especially to herself.
“No, of course not.”
“Then what was it?”
Holly didn’t know the whole truth. Her feelings for Micah had grown so strong. And sure, she’d fantasized for years about having sex with him, so that was a bonus. But she’d been a total mess last night, and so very vulnerable. That was no way to start a relationship—especially with an old friend, one who lived in a very different world. She simply didn’t have room for that kind of emotional intensity in her life, not right now anyway. And Micah, just by being Micah, would demand emotional intensity.
“I’m not entirely sure,” she said. “All I know is that it shouldn’t happen again.”
Micah lifted a brow at her choice of words. “Shouldn’t, or won’t?”
“What I’m trying to say is that it didn’t really change anything, Micah. Our circumstances, I mean. How could it?”
Then how come it feels like everything’s changed?
“Now you’re going to lecture me about our different worlds again,” he said, shaking his head. “I understand, Holly. I really do, but circumstances can change, you know.”
“Yes, but we have to be realistic. My heart will always be here in Seashell Bay, but it hasn’t been my world since I was nineteen.”
He was quiet for a few moments before answering. “I’ve been thinking a lot about transferring to the mainland at some point—maybe going for my detective shield. Hell, I could even end up in New York.”
“Oh God, no,” she blurted.
Micah stopped and stared at her. “I’m sorry?”
She flapped a hand. “I didn’t mean it like that.”
“Then what did you mean?”
Holly had never worried much about Micah’s safety. Yes, he was a cop, but policing in Seashell Bay—and rural Cumberland County before that—had always meant that he faced little danger on the job as far as she could tell. Becoming a New York City cop, however, or a Portland detective, struck her as a whole lot riskier. She simply could not love another man who carried a gun and put himself in harm’s way.
“I can’t believe you’d ever live anywhere other than Seashell Bay,” she said.
“Because I’m too stuck in my ways?” Sarcasm laced his voice. “Too resistant to change?”
“No, because you love it too much,” she countered. “Not to mention the fact that the people here love you and need you.”
That was all true, of course. But she also had to admit that the idea of Micah making such a move, partly for her sake, made her extremely nervous. It was too much, too fast.
Silence fell between them as they passed the empty fire hall and then the Lobster Pot. The bar’s parking lot was full, and rock music bled out through the Pot’s leaky front door. But once they got out of range of the music, all Holly could hear was the shushing of the waves against the rocky shore and the incessant chirp of crickets. An owl hooted from a tall stand of pines on their left. It was a warm evening, and under other circumstances, it would have been a lovely night for a stroll with the hottest guy in Seashell Bay.
“Okay, I’m just going to say it,” Micah finally said. “Holly, I’ve never felt about anyone like I feel about you—not even close. I didn’t think something like last night would ever happen, but I’m damn glad it did. And I’d like to believe that you feel something more than just friendship too. Something strong enough to build a future together.”
Holly blinked in surprise. Coming from Micah, the most taciturn guy she knew, that kind of heartfelt statement was pretty much a Shakespearean soliloquy. He was not someone who put himself out there like that—certainly not when it came to women.
But how could she talk about how she truly felt when her life was so messy? All she knew was that she had to find some emotional distance before she damaged their relationship beyond repair.
“I’ve never heard you talk about your feelings for a woman before,” she said, deflecting. “Not even about your relationship with that Portland cop. Gina, wasn’t it?”
“She was a county deputy like me, not a Portland cop.”
“Oh, right. Sorry.” Holly had only met Gina two or three times, back when she and Drew spent some vacation time in Seashell Bay. She remembered forming the distinct impression that Gina wasn’t a fan of the island. None of the locals was ever sure why the relationship had ended though, because Micah had always refused to say a word about it.
“That’s old news, Holly,” he said. “Look, maybe what we did last night hasn’t changed anything for you, but it sure as hell feels like it’s changed a whole lot for me.”
She nodded, feeling more miserable by the minute. Still, after last night, Micah deserved the truth. “I understand.”
He squared his shoulders, as if already preparing for the hit. “Look, I’d just like you to admit that someone like Jackson Leigh is not what you really want. I’ve watched how you look at Morgan and Ryan, and Lily and Aiden too. I think
that’s
what you really want. You want what your best friends have found.”
When he paused, giving her the chance to respond, Holly just shook her head. What did he expect her to say?
Micah blew out an exasperated breath. “What they found right here on the island,” he said, driving his point home.
Holly felt something inside start to give way, and it didn’t feel good. She’d built up a lot of emotional firewalls over the last four years, but those defenses had already started to falter last summer when she’d come home to recuperate and bask in the love and support of her friends. While she’d done that and then some, she’d been happy to leave and return to her life too, return to the job and the work that she loved.
But Lily’s wedding to Aiden, followed by Morgan’s engagement to Ryan, had affected her more deeply than she’d let herself admit. She refused to be the girl who envied the happiness of her friends, or the one who needed a guy to be happy. But she could feel a sea change taking place within her. The emotional status quo was beginning to feel… unacceptable.