Seeds of Summer (16 page)

T
HE NEXT WEEK PASSED QUICKLY AS NATALIE AND THE CLINIC COMMITTEE
finalized their schedule for the queen workshops and activities. Saturday morning, Natalie strolled toward the exhibit building at the fairgrounds, having left her brother and sister in Libby's care to look after the ranch while she was gone.

Jenny Stiles, the current Miss Rodeo Kansas met Natalie inside the metal building and gave her a hug. “It's so good to see you again. Are you ready for this big weekend?”

Natalie recalled the many clinics she'd attended through the years and grinned. “I almost forgot how intimidating these workshops can be.” Especially the mock interviews and impromptu questions—her most grueling sessions by far. Some girls whizzed right through them, but for Natalie, the very thought of them brought on a cold sweat. “I like it much better on this side of competition. But what about you? Have you started gearing up for Vegas?”

The younger girl's blonde curls bobbed as she made a distressed face. “Only in my dreams and my every waking hour.”

“Well, don't worry about it too much.” Natalie offered Jenny an encouraging smile and watched as three high school girls wandered into the exhibit building, looking as unsure and incompetent as she
had once felt. “This weekend is all about learning and asking questions. Ask me anything you want. I know you'll do terrific,” Natalie stated without envy or resentment. She'd expected awkward moments now that her era of competition had ended but was pleasantly surprised by the mentoring experience, as though she'd returned to her element or had even come into her own.

When everyone arrived, Jenny and Natalie welcomed the participants and went over the weekend schedule. Afterwards, they escorted the girls to the arena where two clinicians were set up to help with horsemanship skills, the riding stock furnished by the cowboys, as well as from the Double-A-Ranch. One man stood in the middle of the arena with a saddled horse, and the second came walking in from the arena gate leading Natalie's horse, Jackson.

Natalie caught her breath when she saw the man. What was he doing here? How could she have missed his name on the staff roster?

He strode past her and grinned. “Good to see you, Nat.”

Natalie's knees nearly buckled. She tried to mumble a hello, but the greeting vaporized in her throat. Ryan Frazier was the last person she wanted to see or say hello to ever again.

Ryan took his place beside the other cowboy and spoke into a cordless microphone, offering introductions and going over the day's agenda. “One of the first things we want to cover this morning is proper riding etiquette, so watch closely as Miss Adams demonstrates for you.”

Natalie plastered a smile onto her face, hoping to hide her stunned reaction at Ryan's sudden appearance. Her hands trembled as she gripped Jackson's reins.

“Always check your riding gear before mounting and never let your reins touch the ground,” he said as Natalie stepped into the saddle. She forced herself to listen to the rest of his directives, though her emotions threatened to run away.

“Sit straight in the saddle, with your toes up and your heels down. You should be able to draw a line from the back of your ear to
the back of your heel.” He indicated an imaginary line from Natalie's head to her boot, and his fingers brushed against Natalie's leg on the way down. A shiver of anticipation raced up her spine, and her mind rebelled in irritation. How could there be any attraction left for Ryan, after all the pain and heartache he'd caused? She swiped the imprint of his touch from her jeans, wishing she could do the same with his memory.

While the other cowboy distributed copies of reining patterns, Ryan went over a few tips with the girls. “As you study your handouts, try to remember where the markers are and be sure to make the speed and size variations of your figure eights apparent.”

He asked Natalie to demonstrate one of the patterns while he offered instruction. She ran the course effortlessly, the sequence ingrained in her mind from years of drills. It wasn't until the attendees practiced on their own that she had a chance to speak privately with him. She wiped her hands on her jeans, her palms clammy with sweat. “What are you doing here, Ryan?”

His attention followed one of the riders through a sliding stop, the horse's hindquarters digging into the disked ground. “I'm filling in for a man who broke his arm. I hoped you'd be happy to see me. You don't mind that I'm here, do you?” His focus shifted to her.

“It's a free country—you can go wherever you want.” Though she wished he hadn't chosen Charris County. The question of why remained to be answered.

“You look good, Nat. Real good.” His blue eyes flickered with appreciation, and then his face turned sober. “I'm sorry to hear about your dad.”

Natalie accepted his condolences, measuring how much her life had changed since she and Ryan had last spoken. “What have you been doing with yourself? Still following the new queen prospects, I see. Some things never change.” Resentment tinged her voice.

“It wasn't like that and you know it.” His bangs fell to one side,
giving him a boyish charm she'd never been able to resist. “You said yourself we were free to date other people.”

“It hardly matters now.” She stared at the man whose good looks had a way of taking her breath away, and a heavy weight settled on her chest. She and Ryan could have had such a wonderful future. “From what I hear, they're keeping you busy. I'm surprised you'd have time for our little clinic.”

“I'll always make time for you, Nat.” He flashed a grin, and her knees went weak. “But you're right. This year I'm booked in forty-eight states with four sponsors to endorse. Who would've guessed my bronc riding days would lead to this?”

Natalie looked away, unable to hold his gaze a moment longer. How easy it would be to slip into the excitement of Ryan's world once more. Her throat tightened as she watched one of the attendees lope a horse in a large figure eight. “I hope it works out for you, Ryan. And thanks for volunteering to fill in for the weekend. We really appreciate it.” She turned to walk off, needing to escape. Then his voice called out to her.

“If you're not busy, maybe you could join me for dinner tonight—after your workshops?”

Natalie closed her eyes, her back to the man. Could she trust herself to be alone with Ryan and not fall into the old familiar trap? Then she considered the long days she'd put in at the ranch this past month and of the kids and their ongoing turmoil. Didn't she deserve a night out? How could one night hurt? One dinner, and then Ryan would be out of her life for good. “I should be free after the clothing auction this afternoon. Pick me up at the house, so I can freshen up first?”

His confidence never wavered. “Sounds good to me.”

The rest of the morning flew by in a haze as Natalie replayed their conversation in her mind. Did Ryan still care for her? Was that why he was so friendly and had asked her out for dinner? She observed him in the arena, appreciating the way he moved, so sure
of himself and able with a horse. She and Ryan had made the perfect couple, complimenting each other in every way.

Well…almost every way.

She tried not to think about his roaming eyes, wanting to believe Ryan had changed, that he'd come to his senses and desired to have her back. Why else would he have volunteered for this queen clinic?

J
ARED SCANNED THE FAIRGROUNDS FOR
N
ATALIE'S LONG DARK HAIR
. Cowgirls of all age and size milled around in the shade, and then he spotted her in a green western shirt. She walked toward him with a stack of clothes in her arms, her hair pulled back in a loose ponytail.

He met her halfway. “Can I help with that?”

She peeked over the top of her load. “Oh thank you. I think my arms were about to give out.” She laughed.

Jared took the entire pile from her and followed her to a building where a dozen girls were setting out clothes on hangers. “Getting ready to model?”

“We're having a clothing auction. I've decided to try and get rid of whatever I can.” She motioned for him to lay the outfits he carried on a table.

“All of them?”

Her eyes glazed with sadness. “Almost.”

Just then he realized how hard it must be for Natalie to put the past behind her. He also had the impression he was intruding on a very busy schedule. “I stopped by to see if you had time to go over tomorrow's service, but I can come back later if you want.”

She skimmed the activity in the room and sighed. “It's no problem. Wait here while I tell someone where we're going.” She went to talk to another worker and returned within seconds. “I don't know why I'm so rattled today. Too much excitement, I guess.”

Jared had never seen Natalie so unstrung, as though she were a
completely different person from the woman he knew. “Don't worry about it. Where are you planning to hold your cowboy church?”

She led him outside to a covered show ring surrounded by bleachers. “We thought this might be the coolest area tomorrow morning.”

“And you have a microphone and speaker system, right?”

Natalie nodded, clearly distracted. Her attention slipped toward an outdoor arena about a hundred yards away. Jared followed her gaze. A blond-haired man was giving a demonstration to a group of girls using Natalie's horse. Jared wasn't sure if Natalie was concerned about her horse or about the young man leading it. Even from this distance, Jared could tell he possessed a ton of charisma as testified by the band of females hanging on his every word.

“Who's the guy in the arena?”

Natalie's eyelashes fluttered. “That's Ryan Frazier. He's helping with some of the horsemanship classes today. Maybe you've heard of him?”

Jared shrugged. “I don't get around much in the rodeo world, remember?” He scrunched his mouth, getting the feeling Ryan Frazier wasn't an ordinary cowboy—at least not to Natalie.

“I'm sorry, Ryan is a rodeo commentator—an announcer. He travels to all the major rodeos in the country. He's even been to Australia.”

“You and this Frazier guy are friends?”

Natalie nodded, confirming his suspicions. “You could say that.” Sadness shadowed her voice, and Jared decided he didn't want to know the details of their history. “Would you like to meet him?”

Jared shoved his hands in his pockets. Natalie was obviously too preoccupied to go over the service details. And that was okay. Jared could handle preaching off the cuff. “He looks kind of busy.”

Ignoring his observation, Natalie took off for the arena, her boots kicking up puffs of dust as she went. By the time they reached the gate, the crowd had dissipated, and Frazier was leading Natalie's horse out of the arena.

“You timed that perfectly. I was just getting ready to return Jackson to his stall.”

Natalie gathered her horse's lead rope in her hands. “Ryan, I'd like you to meet a friend of mine. This is Pastor Logan. He'll be conducting tomorrow's cowboy church.”

With a flick of his head, the man tossed his blonde hair to the side of his face. “Nice to meet you.” He held out his hand.

Jared noted the strong grip. “It's always good to meet another friend of Natalie's. Have you two known each other long?”

Frazier's grin widened and his blue eyes crinkled. It was no wonder women fawned over the guy, he could have been a Greek Adonis. “We go back a few years. It's been a while since we've seen each other, but I'm hoping to get reacquainted tonight.” He winked at Natalie, and her face flushed a bright pink.

She cleared her throat, her gaze shifting between the two men. “Ryan and I are going out for dinner later—as friends. Perhaps you'd like to join us?”

Jared rubbed the back of his neck. Why would Natalie invite him to accompany her when, from the looks of things, this friendship with Frazier went much deeper? “I'd better pass. I'm sure the two of you have a lot of catching up to do.”

“You got that right.” Frazier eyed him warily and again reached out his hand. “It was good meeting you. I look forward to hearing your sermon tomorrow.”

Jared nodded, taking that as his signal to leave. “If there's nothing else to go over, Natalie, I should let you get back to your clinic.” He forced a smile to his lips, wanting nothing more than to leave the fairgrounds and erase the image of Natalie and Frazier from his mind. Something about the two together didn't set well in his stomach.

“Oh, okay.” Natalie's voice quivered with uncertainty. “Well,
thanks for coming out. We'll talk again tomorrow, before the service?”

“Of course.” He stared at the ground, feeling inadequate and weak compared to the cowboy beside him. In Natalie's estimation, he would never measure up, but why should he care? Swamped by a myriad of undesirable emotions, he bid them good-bye. “Enjoy your dinner.”

R
YAN APPEARED ON
N
ATALIE'S DOORSTEP RIGHT AT EIGHT, LOOKING
terrific in a pair of black jeans and a western shirt.

“You've met my brother and sister,” Natalie said, feeling confident in her favorite pair of Lucchese boots made from goat leather that fit her like a soft pair of moccasins. “And this is Libby…our house guest.” For some reason, she couldn't bring herself to introduce Libby as her stepmom.

Chelsey ogled him, which didn't surprise Natalie. Ryan was the best-looking man she'd ever seen, and Natalie had met a lot of men in the last two years. Libby, too, had a hard time taking her eyes off him.

Ryan shook Libby's hand and revealed his dimpled smile. “Nice to meet you.” He ruffled Dillon's hair, and her brother backed off as though affronted.

“Are you two going on a date?” Dillon crossed his arms over his chest, looking a lot like her dad.

Natalie's nerves betrayed her in an awkward giggle. “No silly, Ryan's just taking me to dinner.”

Her brother cracked his knuckles and then tore off for the kitchen. The back door slammed shut causing the walls to shudder.

“Don't mind him.” Natalie waved off his rude behavior. “He's probably already roping a goat or steer.”

“That's what I would have been doing at his age. Watch out, though, when he moves on to riding bulls and steers. That's when you need to start worrying.” Ryan rubbed his backside to show he'd suffered plenty.

“Concussions and bruises, right?” Libby chuckled, and he nodded in return.

After a few minutes of small talk, Ryan walked Natalie to the truck and opened the door for her. He helped her inside, and at his touch, her skin tingled, the attraction as strong as ever. She gave him directions to Charlie's Steakhouse, and a short while later, they were seated at a corner table for two.

Ryan studied her, his blue eyes intense and unwavering. “I've missed you, Natalie. I didn't realize how much until I saw you today. Being a queen suits you.”

“I'm a past queen, Ryan. Even if I had won the national competition it would have been short-lived. The dream doesn't last forever.”

“Ah, but your grace and beauty surpasses a crown. They just don't make queens like you, Nat.”

Not a man to blow smoke for no reason, Ryan was up to something. She could feel it. “Why did you agree to help with this clinic, Ryan? And don't tell me it was to help us out, because you're not that thoughtful.”

He gripped his chest as though wounded. “Your words cut like a knife.”

“Save the theatrics for your groupies…and don't pretend you don't have them. I saw the way the attendees watched your every move.”

“That's the funny thing, Nat. These last few months, I've learned that I only have eyes for you.”

“Really?” She didn't believe him. Not for a minute. Yet her heart pounded inside her chest, wanting to believe his words. “The last
time we spoke was what? Six months ago? That doesn't sound too endearing to me.”

“Ah but it is. I've come to realize that my rise to fame in rodeo, although amazing right now, isn't everything. Hearing about your dad made me grasp that even more. It's made me think about my future and about settling down. Maybe we should consider that, you and I?”

“Haven't you heard? That's what I've done already,” Natalie scoffed at his insensitivity. “I'm not free to roam the country. I'm a landowner now, in charge of my brother and sister. I have responsibilities.”

He reached for her hand and squeezed it beneath his own. “We could do that together, Nat. I'm not asking you to come away with me. But would it be such a bad idea to start seeing each other again? See where it takes us?”

She pulled her hand away. “What makes you think I'd want to risk taking a chance on you? Do you have any idea how much you hurt me in Vegas?”

“I'm sorry about that.” His fingers slid the length of her arm and wandered to her cheek. “Let me make it up to you.”

Natalie closed her eyes, relishing his touch against her skin. With a little work, she could almost remember the joy of his kiss.

“‘O! that I were a glove upon that hand, That I might touch that cheek!'” a gravelly voice spoke nearby, and Natalie's eyelids sprung open. Willard stood before her at their table wearing a straw cowboy hat, all dressed up for the evening. “It's about time you enjoy a night out, Natalie. And who's this young man with you?”

Natalie reached for her sweet tea, the glass cold and wet beneath her fingers. “This is Ryan Frazier, a friend from my days as Miss Rodeo Kansas.”

“The sports announcer?”

She blinked her surprise. “You've heard of him?”

Willard nodded, his eyes watchful and keen. “I remember your daddy talking about Ryan.”

Natalie sipped her tea, imagining all too well the stories her dad might have told. “Ryan, this is Willard Grover, a good friend of our family. Willard is the one who saved my grandpa in Vietnam.”

“Nice to finally meet you.” Ryan shook Willard's hand. “Natalie's told me a lot about you. How you and your wife took care of Natalie and the kids when they were young.”

Willard grinned, his teeth bright against his dark skin. “Yep, they're like my own family. And what about your family, Ryan? Where do you hail from?”

Ryan relaxed into his chair. “Clearwater, Oklahoma.”

“That's a good drive from here. What brings you to Diamond Falls?”

“Ryan's here for the clinic we're having this weekend. He taught the horsemanship classes.” Natalie cleared her throat. “Jared's helping too.”

Willard's eyebrows arched. “You don't say.”

“He's leading our cowboy church.” She offered a slight smile, able to see Willard's mind churning.

“That's real interesting. Has Jared met Ryan yet?”

Natalie took another drink of her tea, hoping to quell the anxious butterflies in her stomach. It wasn't as though she and Jared were romantically involved, so why did she feel guilty for being here with Ryan? The young pastor had made it perfectly clear he wasn't interested in anything more than friendship. And Natalie certainly wasn't interested in marrying a preacher. “Actually, I introduced them this afternoon.”

“The preacher man?” Ryan grinned. “Not exactly rough stock material, but he seemed like a nice guy.”

“You can't always judge a man by his appearance,” Willard said. “Some men you have to look deep inside to read what they're all about, isn't that right, Natalie?”

Natalie gazed up at Willard. “And then again, some men are as easy to read as the desserts on a menu.”

“Touché, my girl, touché.” Willard smiled and tipped his hat toward her. “I've bothered you young'uns long enough. I think I'll head back and see if they've brought my order yet.”

They said good-bye, and Ryan's smile didn't waver. “Who is this Jared guy again?”

Natalie drew a line in the condensation on her glass, unable to keep from comparing Jared to Ryan. Complete opposites, yet they both held a certain attraction. “I told you, he's a friend of the family.”

“And a preacher? I didn't realize you were so religious.”

“I'm not.” The words came out defensively. “Although I admit, I've been thinking about certain things lately.”

Ryan's eyes softened. “Like death?”

She nodded. And God's plan for her life—if there was such a thing. “Enough about that, though. Are you going to save room for dessert?” She flipped open a menu and forced herself to study it.

He did the same. “I don't think so. I need to watch my girlish figure.”

Natalie giggled as the waitress approached their table. “Not me. I'll have the top sirloin with a salad and baked potato and then if there's room I want the brownie a-la-mode.” She handed her menu to the waitress after ordering.

Ryan cringed. “And you call yourself a rodeo queen?” He laughed then and slapped the menu on the table. “I'll have the same.”

Once the waitress left, he leaned in closer and took her hand. “You know, I've been hearing things.”

Natalie tilted her head. “Such as?”

“Rumors.”

“Well, you can't trust a rumor.”

“Even still, you might be interested in what I've heard.” He squeezed her fingers, his own strong, yet smooth.

Her eyes narrowed, wondering if Ryan had finally gotten around
to the real reason he'd volunteered to help with this clinic. “I'm listening.”

“I've been hearing a lot of commotion about Lisa's health. That Miss Rodeo America's not doing so well.”

Natalie had already heard the rumors, and her heart went out to the girl. She swallowed the sadness welling inside. “Why are you telling me this?”

“They're saying she might have a brain tumor. That she might not finish her term as queen.”

Natalie pulled her hand from his. “That's not even funny, Ryan. There are some things you don't joke about.”

“You know what that would mean, don't you?”

Disgust erupted within her, that Ryan would mention this, let alone, think it. “You don't wish bad things on a person in hopes that something good might come of it for yourself. I can't believe you brought this up. It's just bad manners.”

Ryan raised his hands at her attack. “Hey, I'm just telling you what I've heard. You can do whatever you want with the information.”

“Is that why you came here? Because you thought there might be a chance for me to return to the spotlight?”

“Why do you think so poorly of me?”

“What else am I supposed to think? Our past tends to color our future.”

“Listen, forget I even mentioned it because you're right. It doesn't matter. You know I wouldn't wish Lisa any harm, even if it meant you'd get to take her place. I'm sorry I said anything.”

Natalie tried to read the sincerity in his eyes, but it was impossible. Reading Ryan was like reading a menu written in German.