Seeing Daylight (14 page)

So he'd keep things simple. Rustic log furniture like he'd slept in at Hearts Crossing. With fresh wind in his face, he leaned against the outside balcony rails, beholding a slideshow of Colorado whichever direction he turned his head. Aspen trees shivered, and pines stretched tall.

Carol walked outside to him, fragrant and pretty but not the one he saw when he closed his eyes. He prided himself on logical, careful study of pros and cons but also on his ability to make quick decisions. It was Rachel true and through.

“Oh my. Hank always wanted a room with a view.” Carol gave a little laugh.

He nodded, thinking of the hilltop Brentwood home only half-built when…at the time of the accident. “Marianne did, too.”

“What happened? To her, I mean.”

Was it possible Carol didn't know? And was he comfortable enough to tell her? He'd blurted out his sorrow and guilt to Rachel the minute they'd met.

“A plane crash when Addie was two. I was the pilot.”

“I'm so sorry.” Compassion glazed Carol's eyes. “That must be impossible to get over.”

“It was.” He sighed, not looking at her. He'd said his goodbyes and knew Marianne had accepted them. “For a while, it was. But I've had to go on.”

“What about the…guilt?”

He busied himself counting the leaves on a tiny tree below.

“Sure, guilt beat me up. Ground inspection had been spot on. What could it be but pilot error? Even when it wasn't, then I suffered with survivor's guilt. Why did I live, and not her? It was a long time before I accepted in my head and in my heart what it was: an accident.”

She leaned her elbows on the railing. “So they said of Hank's.”

The pain in her voice clogged his ears. “It wasn't?”

“Yeah, of course. A bullet ricocheted off a boulder. But my guilt is something I can't get over.”

“Your guilt? You were there?”

“No.” Carol busied her gaze far and beyond and didn't look at him. Maybe because he was widowed too, for just as many years. Maybe because the girls were friends, they had teenage sons. For some reason, he understood. Widowhood was a strange and bizarre brotherhood. “No. But we'd always said we loved each other before we left the house. That day, we'd had a fight.”

Brayton's heart churned.

“I sent him off in anger.” She breathed hard, arms crossed, fingers tensed on upper arms. “And then...What I mean is, if I'm to go on, with Christopher or with anybody, I need to let it go. And I don't know if I have. If I can.” Thick on the air he recognized the cry of pain that had clobbered him so many times.

And because of that weird brotherhood, he pulled her heaving body tight against his chest.

 

 

 

 

13

 

The sight of Brayton holding Carol Aubrey close to his heart stampeded into Rachel's eyeshot. Her hands grasped at her neck. She'd come up to the balcony of the condo on Night Hawk Road to check out the vista of her family's ranch. But now, the air so tranquil in her lungs a second ago choked her on its way out of her mouth. Her heart jerked with the same intensity it had last night when she awaited a kiss that never came.

Brayton and...Carol? After what she'd construed as a date-date? But no. Not a date. He'd tried to get her to approve commercializing Grim-Gram's artwork. And today she'd come to admit it wasn't a bad idea at all. But...

“I'm not sure this is the place for us, Felicity.” Rachel calmed herself, her clear voice not hinting any disquiet. “Matty and I wouldn't need three bedrooms.”

The young realtor squinted. “But your wish list said you wanted a home office. I do have another offer. Maria Alomar and her fiancé.”

“I could make some office space in a corner of my bedroom,” Rachel said. Which was true, although a third bedroom wasn't the problem; the proximity to Brayton Metcalf was. How could she bear to see him every day? To know he was so close? Gray Eagle Circle was a loop-shaped lane that shot off from Night Hawk Road. She'd see many of his comings and goings. Her heart hammered harder. Part of her longed to see him, to be with him, but could she trust him?

Could he ever let her feel calm and settled?

Her heart stilled. She couldn't deny her attraction for him, the regret that she hadn't invited a simple kiss last night. She couldn't deny how much he stirred her blood. But a man who kept secrets, who held his own set of blame wasn't something she had the emotional armor to defend. Hadn't foolhardiness changed his life? One man doing that to her was enough for the time she had left in this world.

However, honesty was one thing Nick had left behind. And she'd told Brayton that much. And whether or not she agreed with his explanations, he'd given them and been honest, to boot. He hadn't prevaricated, made excuses. He was impetuous and admitted it. Brayton, well, maybe he wasn't the most forthright banana in the bunch, but the almost-kiss haunted her. She wanted it. She wanted him.

There was no shame in wanting somebody despite his foibles. Truth to tell, she had plenty of her own.

Felicity gently cleared her throat as she fiddled with her briefcase. “Would you…would you like to see another model?”

Rachel breathed out deep. Brayton… Just one more day. Just a little more thinking. “Sorry. I just…You know. ” She didn't need to say anymore. With Nick in an empty conversation bubble over everybody's head, and Brayton flitting in and out of her thoughts, she just needed time.

Her own heart imploding, Rachel clearly read disappointment in Felicity's smile. As often in her life, in her profession, she grabbed onto logic to supplant an emotional onslaught. Swallowing hard against the desires she'd felt, the hope that had surged, the images in her mind, she understood. God had touched her, led her to that balcony at the right time to open her eyes. To all possibilities, not just her own. Why not Brayton and Carol? They were kindred spirits almost to a T. Each widowed ten years, both with teenage sons and daughters the same age.

Lonely people who had lost their mates in tragedies beyond their control. She knew that now. She hadn't known Brayton long, but she knew for certain he hadn't been overconfident that fatal day. She knew Carol's overwhelming loneliness. Carol without the support system of a swarm of siblings. Carol who deserved someone special.

Maybe God had led Brayton here for
Carol
. With her heart panging, Rachel forced a smile and looked across to the Metcalf balcony, empty now. Suddenly it hit her. Actually Woodside Meadows
was
like coming home again. This was former Hearts Crossing ranchland sold at a time the family had needed an infusion of cash. The past could be part of a new start. A variation on a theme.

The view of her homeland, her ancestors' homestead, grabbed her. Love, loss, life, grief. Holding off the hubris of success and pulling up the bootstraps of disappointment had written her family's history for a century and a half. Reality pounded home. And
faith
. God had been the guiding light.

Why had she shut her eyes to it?

To Him?

And Nick had been part of it all. Without him, she wouldn't have her son. Without him, those seven men in his unit wouldn't have survived. Nick had had a purpose, and then God had taken him home. Release? Reward? It wasn't up to her to judge the method, the timing. A breeze touched her face, breathing insight and new life into her. New faith in Him. As if God Himself had touched her cheek.

Just as He had touched her on Sunday when she'd slapped away a bug that wasn't there.

Like a little girl rearranging doll house furniture, Rachel reached out as if to touch Hearts Crossing. She was ready to move on. Brayton Metcalf had come into her life at the right time, after all.

Had found his way to Hearts Crossing.

Looking down, she surveyed the pretty neighborhoods surrounding her as peace started to swathe her. If Brayton was to be with her, God would direct her, him. Both. But if God wanted Brayton for Carol... It might break her heart, but hers had been broken before and always healed.

A stair step squeaked under her footsteps as they headed down. Would the sad sounds go away when a family lived here day to day? She almost ached at the lonesome emptiness. Where she might have allowed herself to imagine her and Matty making noise in Brayton's condo across the way, now she imagined Carol's handsome boys wrangling and wrestling, along with Nate home from college. Addie and Stella whispering girlish secrets.

Indeed, if God so deemed, better all around. At the landing, she leaned against a blank white wall to catch her breath. She'd rejected Brayton, and he'd believed her.

“I'm so sorry, Felicity. I thought this would be a slam dunk today.”

“No worries. Buying a house is a big step.” Felicity chirped. “I'm here whenever you need me.” Her briefcase flapped against her side as she closed the front door.

“Felicity, I want you go to ahead and sell the place to Maria Alomar.” Pa had left all the kids come acres. “I might even build a little place on the ranch.”

“Aw, I understand. Hearts Crossing wins out every time. But like I say, I'm here if you need me.” Felicity leaned back into her high heels and looked around the award-winning development. “I'm usually not crazy about open spaces being filled up by developers, but BrayMet sure knows how to do the mixed-use, green approach. Recycled materials, architecture fitting the natural surroundings. Native landscape. Exceeding all environmental standards…”

Rachel halted. “No, this project is by Tranquility Group. My sister-in-law, Christy, worked for them in Los Angeles. They hired her to landscape Woodside.”

“Oh, yeah, but it's just part of the whole. Tranquility is under the umbrella of BrayMet Industries.” She bent down and dug in her briefcase. “Largest home builder in the west. Or was, of course, until the housing bubble burst.”

BrayMet? What made that familiar? Rachel's brain roared. Felicity handed her a glossy brochure bearing a headshot of…Brayton Metcalf, CEO and founder. The picture was so small and so hidden in a corner you'd never see it unless you...went looking. Her heart didn't have much strength anymore, but it stopped for one full second. Before she dropped the brochure into the wind, Rachel stuck it in her pocket.

“Sorry, Felicity, for wasting your time.” God had surely led her here to this place, at this time, to let her know this wasn't the right home for her. “I can't quite explain. But sometimes, decisions are made for you, you know.”

On the way to the realtor's car, childish shrieks split the quiet of the sun-dappled afternoon. The breeze took a chill turn as it picked up some wind bouncing down the mountains, and Rachel slipped into her jacket sleeves as Addie Metcalf dashed quickly but carefully across the road. Back straight, body spritely. Even in her dull mood, Rachel rejoiced at the girl's good health.

“Hi, Rachel! Is this your new house? Daddy and I and Nate are moving in right over there!” She pointed eagerly, eyes bright. “This is so cool. We can be neighbors.”

Brayton was the last person Rachel wanted to see. The person she wanted to see most. But he walked straight toward her. Her throat hitched with longing, with distrust, with everything good and everything bad. Against the chest she longed to hold, he held his Stetson. And Carol, no longer appearing bereaved, neither looked lover-like as she halted to berate Stella for some misdemeanor.

“Hi, Addie. I'm so excited for you. But I'm not moving here after all.”

“Hi, Rachel.” Brayton's voice wasn't the confident, conference-table voice he'd used to describe the art gallery. It held regret, tenderness. Everything good.

But she wasn't ready. “Good luck with your new house, Brayton. I know you'll love it here. And I had a great time last night. Honest.”

There. Let him stew on that.

“Felicity,” she continued. “Can you take me back to the ranch? I need to get home.”

For once, she didn't listen to her heart. Rushing home was the only thing she could think to do. She raised her hand to wave, but Brayton caught it between his own. Her flesh sizzled.

“Let's go for a trail ride later.” It wasn't a request. Definitely not a date.

“We'll see.”

Back at the ranch after the short drive, she longed to revel in the usual comfort, find the answers.

“That you, Rachel?” Ma called out as Rachel shut the big front door. “Careful now. Matty's down for a nap.”

Glad for a dose of normality, she tried to chuckle.

Ma met her at the archway outlining the dining room. “What is it, honey? You look pale as death.”

“I'm just confused, Ma. I…just don't think buying that townhouse is for me.” She didn't explain further.

She didn't need to. Ma's eyes bored into Rachel's heart the same way she'd found out Rachel loved Nick before Rachel did. What did Ma suspect now? Her heart beat way too fast.

“You can stay here. Then again, there's no shame in moving to a husband's house. No regrets, however it all works.”

“What did you just say? Pa moved to Hearts Crossing at your request. Even took your last name. I don't get you, Ma.”

“Let's sit down. I've got things to say.”

Rachel leaned against her mother as they headed down the hall to the study. The study where she and Brayton could have kissed. If she'd invited him into her heart. But something told her this was Ma's moment. “Doyle and I spoke on the telephone all afternoon, Rachel.”

Rachel frowned...this wasn't about her. “What about, Ma?”

“He loves me, darlin'. I was so lucky once, with your pa. But Doyle and I are getting married.”

“Wow, Ma, that's terrific. And I'm glad. He's a nice man.”

“I never thought I'd find love again. Not after I buried my heart with your pa. Not this far into my golden years.”