Seeing is Believing (17 page)

‘Just a minute,’ I said, feeling that now that she had started talking it might go on and on. ‘You gave him an alibi for the time Mr Loxley was killed.’

She nodded solemnly.

‘He told you to?’

She nodded again.

‘But I don't understand why,’ I went on. ‘We're sure it wasn't Fred who killed Mr Loxley, but someone disguised as him, so what was he doing at that time that he should need an alibi?’

I had never felt as unsure that it had not been Fred that I had seen at the gate as I was at that moment.

‘I don't know,’ she murmured. ‘He never told me what he'd been doing. He didn't like being asked how he'd been spending his time. He always had lots of money, so I supposed he worked very hard. But now they're saying he got the money from Mr Bird because he knew something terrible about him. I suppose you think I'm very stupid.’

I nearly said, ‘Very simple,’ but kept it back.

‘How did you hear about his getting money from Mr Bird?’ I asked.

‘Oh, they're all talking about it down at the Green Man,’ she said. ‘I think a policeman told someone about Mr Bird saying it, and everyone was saying they'd always believed there was something wrong about Fred, which wasn't true, because he was really very popular.’

‘If it's true, it's the reason why he's left you,’ I said.

Brian observed, ‘He won't get far if he's gone in that red van of his.’

‘He'll probably ditch it pretty soon,’ Malcolm said, ‘and pick up someone else's car.’

‘If what he told me is true about the joy-riding in stolen cars.’ I said, ‘he's probably quite proficient at stealing cars. On the other hand, he may simply have made for the railway.’

‘Sharon, if it's any consolation to you to know it,’ Malcolm said, his voice very kind, ‘he wanted you to know that he had nothing to do with this horrible murder of Lynne Denison. That's why he told you to come to us. He and Mrs Denison were here together in the late afternoon, then she left, and he stayed on, talking to Frances, and he was still here when we were rung up by Jane Kerwood, who told us how Mrs Denison's body had been found. So there are three of us here who know he couldn't have had anything to do with her murder.’

‘And you've told that to the police?’ she asked.

‘Yes

She gave a deep sigh. Her tensely folded hands relaxed.

‘All the same, I'd like to know what he was doing during that time for which I had to give him an alibi,’ she said. ‘It's rather peculiar, isn't it? Could he have been meeting Mr Bird to pick up some of the money he was getting from him? I suppose I'll have to tell the police all about it. Will I get into trouble for it, d'you think?’

‘You could, if they're feeling nasty,’ Malcolm said. ‘But if you tell them just the story you've told us, I shouldn't think it will be very serious. If they catch Fred, however, you'll probably have to be a witness at his trial.’

‘His trial!’ It came out as a little yelp. ‘Will there really be a trial?’

‘For certain,’ Malcolm answered.

She looked at him searchingly, as if she were trying to find some meaning hidden behind what he had said. Then she stood up.

‘I mustn't keep you,’ she said. ‘I only came to ask you about Fred's alibi. It's sad, isn't it, that we'll never do
Romeo and Juliet
now, and we shan't, shall we? I've been learning my lines. “
What devil art thou that dost torment me thus? This torture should be roared in dismal hell, Hath Romeo slain himself?
… Do you think Fred will kill himself? I'd do it myself sooner than let them catch me. Well, goodbye. You've been very kind.’

‘I'll drive you down to the old vicarage, if you like,’ Malcolm offered.

‘Oh no, thank you. It's no distance. Good night.’

We all said good night and Malcolm saw her to the door.

When he came back into the sitting room, I said, ‘I'll go to Lucille now.’

‘I suppose that's the right thing to do,’ he said. ‘Come along then. I'll drive you down.’

‘I may as well drive myself,’ I said. ‘I don't know how long I'll be. You might have to sit waiting in the car for
an hour or so, because I don't suppose you want to come in to see her yourself — or do you? You can probably give her as much comfort as I can. She might even prefer it.’

‘No, I'll leave it to you,’ he said.

‘Where do you think you'll find her?’ Brian asked. ‘Will she be in her own home, or will friends have taken her in, as you did Avril?’

‘I'll see when I get there,’ I said. ‘The police will know.’

In fact, she was in her home, sitting stiffly in the small but stately drawing room with Avril and Jane keeping her company, and a tray of coffee on the low table in front of her. The front door was open and a young constable there had doubts about letting me in, but then stood aside so that I could enter, and I went to the drawing room door and asked, ‘Shall I come in, Lucille?’

I thought for a moment that she was not going to answer, she simply stared at me bleakly as if she hardly remembered who I was.

Then she said, ‘Ah, Frances. Yes, come in. Kind of you to come. You'd like a cup of coffee, wouldn't you? Jane, dear, will you go to the kitchen and fetch a cup for Frances?’

I did not want the coffee, but I did not refuse it. I went forward into the room and sat down on the window-seat. The dark red velvet curtains were drawn, and a log fire was burning in the fireplace. It all looked comfortable and cosy except for the rigidly upright figure of Lucille in the wing-backed armchair beside the fire. I had come intending to say comforting things to her, but now that I was here, I could not think even how to begin.

At last, I said about the most futile thing I could have thought of. ‘How are you, Lucille?’

‘Just as you would expect,’ she answered in her cold voice. ‘The reason for my continued existence has gone, but I have always regarded suicide as a sin. To live without a reason, however, is something I have never
contemplated. I have never dreamt it might ever be expected of me.’

Jane returned to the drawing room with the coffee cup for me, poured out coffee and brought it to me.

‘Have they taken Kevin away?’ I asked.

‘Naturally they have,’ she said. ‘He left them no choice. Meanwhile, of course, I expect to be blamed for the whole catastrophe. An over-possessive mother, that is what I am, and who is more reviled at the present time than the over-possessive mother? She appears to be the origin of all wickedness. It is more acceptable if you let your child run wild and run wild yourself with all the lovers you can acquire so that he shall not be twisted by the terrible burden of your love, than that you should try to use your intelligence and devotion in turning him into a worthwhile member of society. I never thought of myself in my relations with Kevin, you know. The truth is, I was not possessive. He had perfect freedom to do as he liked. If he had brought a wife home to me, I should have welcomed her. Yet do you know, he turned on me tonight with the most extraordinary explosion of hatred. Only a few hours ago, I should never have thought such a thing possible. I did not even know he knew the words he used. It's all most extraordinary.’

Her icy self-control was deadly. I thought it far more abnormal than the wildest hysteria would have been, and wondered what I could possibly say that might at least prick the surface of it, for I did not believe there was any depth to it.

‘Of course, you've got him a lawyer,’ I said lamely.

‘Of course,’ she replied. ‘Cortwell Denis Dene, my husband's old firm. He was still working for them when he left me, but they've always been very helpful to me and he, of course, has been dead for years. Mr Dene is coming down to see me tomorrow. A very practical, unassuming man, though rather advanced in years. But I do not expect him to be able to help Kevin. Kevin himself will see to it
that he does not. It's very strange, but he seems actually to be enjoying his present situation.’

I had not known till then that Lucille's husband had been a lawyer. She had never spoken of him and I had always assumed that the pain of his death had made her unwilling to do so, or perhaps that the marriage had been such a disappointment to her that she preferred not to think about it. That seemed nearer to the truth, and really it explained a good deal about her.

‘You're staying on in this house, are you?’ I asked.

‘Of course,’ she said. ‘The police have no objection to my doing so.’

‘Alone?’

‘Certainly.’

‘Lucille is very brave,’ Jane said.

‘Braver than I was,’ Avril said. ‘Nothing would have got me to spend a night in that house, even with the dogs.’

It occurred to me then for the first time that there was no sign of the dogs in Lucille's house.

‘Where have you left them?’ I asked Avril. I had a sudden and horrible fear that she had had the poor animals put down, as she had threatened, then realized that it was hardly likely that she could have done so at that time in the evening.

They're tied up in Jane's garden,’ she answered. ‘I haven't made up my mind about them. I haven't made up my mind about anything. I feel very stupid compared with Lucille. Here she's been hit by a horror as bad as anything that's hit me, or perhaps worse — yes, I think much worse — and she just makes it plain that she means to go on living her normal life in spite of everything. Jane's right, she
is
very brave.’

‘I'm much older than you,’ Lucille said, ‘that's probably the explanation. Things matter less and less as you get old. The young are very vulnerable. We're always hearing about the vulnerable members of society, women, children and the elderly, and I can't make any sense of it.
Once you're old enough all you really care about is being comfortable. And that, of course, makes money very important. To be old and poor must be very difficult indeed. But I have no worries of that description. I never have had. I always had more money than my husband, and naturally, I've never depended on Kevin in any way. I shall survive.’

I was sure that she would. She was made of steel. If she possessed any emotions, she had them so firmly under control that she had no reason to fear what they might do to her. I began to wonder if what had helped to twist Kevin's nature had not been an excess of mother-love, as I had supposed, but a lack of it. Perhaps he had had an intuition that he was only one of the comforts that she demanded of life. If he had really turned on her in hatred, as she had said, that did not seem unlikely.

We went on talking for some time, but there was evidently nothing that any of us could do for her. After a while, I made the standard remark that if there was anything that I could do for her, she must let me know, and got up to leave. Avril followed my example, then asked me if she could drive home with me, as she had left the things there that she had used the night before. Lucille thanked us in a stately way for coming, and we let ourselves out and got into the car that I had left in front of the house. The evening was very dark by then and a wind had got up. It was much colder than it had been earlier in the day and there was a damp feeling in the air as if it were trying to rain. Some chestnuts on the far side of the road tossed their dark heads against the sky. There was light and noise in the Green Man next door to Lucille's house.

‘Oh dear, I've just thought of something,’ Avril said as we got into the car. ‘When I've collected my things, I'll have to ask if you'd mind driving me down to Jane's, because I don't think I could face walking, I'm so tired.’

‘Of course I'll drive you down, or Malcolm will.’ I had
just noticed someone come out of the door of the pub; a tall, broad-shouldered man, who turned in the direction of the lane up to our house. There's Hugh,’ I said. ‘Have you seen him today?’

Avril gave a sigh. ‘Yes, he called in on Jane and me just before we left to go to Lucille, and Jane, silly creature, ever so tactfully left us alone together and I had the greatest difficulty in stopping him telling me he loved me. I don't believe it, of course. It's Jane he really cares about, but she was always completely wrapped up in Peter, and he only thought of me as a sort of stopgap.’

‘So he isn't the father of your child,’ I said.

She turned her head to look at me silently. I had started the car and we had already overtaken Hugh.

At last she said, ‘No.’ There was another silence, then she said, ‘I suppose Lynne told you about that. I ought to have known she would. She could never keep anything to herself.’

‘Yes, but I'd guessed it already,’ I said.

‘How did you manage that? It doesn't show yet.’

‘Well, in a way it does.’

‘How?’

‘Oh, I don't know. Something about your face and your suddenly wanting to get rid of the dogs. Are you happy about it, Avril?’

‘I don't think I've ever been so miserable in my life.’

‘But isn't it what you've always wanted more than anything else?’

‘Yes, but not like this. This is all wrong — wrong!’

‘Because the father isn't Peter?’

‘So Lynne told you about that too.’

‘Yes.’

‘And are you going to tell everybody about it, including the police?’

‘You know I'm not.’

‘I suppose I do, yes, you'll stay quiet about it. Poor Peter, he was so hurt and humiliated about it. He hated the dogs,
because he took them as a kind of criticism of him, which in a way they were, though that didn't occur to me at the time I got them.’

‘Did he know about the child?’

‘Oh, yes.’ She was silent again, gazing straight before her where the long shafts of light from the headlights cut into the darkness. ‘He even knew who the father was. I told him everything.’

‘I think I know that too,’ I said. ‘Isn't he Fred Dyer?’

Avril did not answer. Her silence, as it lengthened out, was as complete an admission that I was right as any answer could ever have been. I left the car in the lane, sure it would be needed immediately to take her down to Jane's, and we walked up to the house together. We found Malcolm and Brian in the sitting room, watching television. Malcolm switched it off as soon as we came in and I explained why Avril had come back with me. She said nothing herself. Silence seemed to have taken possession of her. I went upstairs with her and helped her pack the few things that we had brought over from her house the evening before and went downstairs again. At last, she managed to speak.