Seeing is Believing (5 page)

“Did you find answers?” Mona asked, her voice strained as if being possessed took a heavy toll on her.

“I found something,” I muttered hopelessly. How in the heck would we ever find her with sacrifice and love? What did that even mean? Stupid vague answers. “Who is Uriel?”

“An archangel,” Ian supplied.

“What does he have to do with Izzy? With all of this?” I wondered aloud.

“More than we have time to discuss now. You must return to the dreaming and deliver the message. Obviously, Uriel believes Aberto will understand the message’s meaning.” Mona stood, dismissing us from the room.

Numbness sank in as I left the room. I didn’t know what to do. Helplessness screamed through my body as Izzy’s voice rang out in my subconscious.
“You’re not real,”
the light had whispered. But I was real, and I would be damned if Izzy was left there feeling so alone.

“Molly, wait. You can’t go back into the dreaming. If you do, this might get worse.” Ian stopped me in the hall. I looked up into his face in wonder. Sometimes I was struck by how much I didn’t know about my Guardian, about how much I missed just by trying to keep my distance. Written all over his face was something I’d been terrified to examine too closely – love.

“I have to. There isn’t any other choice.” I turned towards our room, hoping he wouldn’t try to keep me from going back.

“There is always a choice.”

“But sometimes there isn’t a good one. Sometimes there is only the right choice and the wrong one. We both know I’m not going to leave Izzy there like that. You don’t want her stuck there, either. You made a promise to Kennan, a promise I know you won’t break.”

“Do not remind me of the promises I’ve made. I know what vows I’ve taken. There are some things worth breaking a vow for.” Ian lifted his hand to my face, closing the space between us. I could feel his heat radiating against my skin. Lost in his eyes for a moment, I forgot about the distance I was trying to keep, of the space I wanted to stay between us. If I fell for him, if I let myself love him, I would be lost. Everyone I’d ever loved had either been taken from me, or had betrayed me. I couldn’t stand the thought of him doing the same. If I never loved him, I would never have to lose him.

“Ian,” I stepped away from him, turning back towards our room, “I can’t.”

“You can; you just won’t,” he said with a growl.

“I don’t even know anything about you, Ian. How can you expect me to jump in so blindly?” How had this conversation gotten here? I was supposed to be helping Izzy, not dealing with our drama.

Grabbing my arm to pull me to the room, Ian looked terrifying. What had I gotten myself into? “You and I need to have a very long discussion. No more running, Molly.”

“Now isn’t the time, Ian. The darkness is still moving in, and Izzy is lost.”

“Now is the time. You’ve been running from me—from this—for too long. It stops today. You want to know me, to know about my sordid past and how I ended up the way I did? Well, today is your lucky day. If that is what is keeping you at arm’s length, then I will tell you everything. I refuse to go another day with you fighting what is between us.” Ian pulled me into the room, slamming the door. He caged me against the wall, anger and fear in his eyes. “Start asking. This ends today.”

“Ian,” I pleaded.

“I’ve given you time and space. I even started matching my damned clothes for you. This ends now. Ask your questions, because you and I both know that isn’t the real reason you have been pushing me away.” He pressed into my personal space, leaving me no room for escape.

Of all the times for Ian to finally break, why did it have to be now? Why couldn’t he just let me run? Okay, so I knew the answer. It was the same reason I’d gotten so tired of running, of denying how I truly felt about him. The inevitability of us was undeniable. We were two halves of a whole, forged together through trial by fire.

“Ian, I can’t,” my voice came out a strained keening. Pain ripped through my chest as every emotion I’d been trying to repress came rushing forth.

“No more, Molly. I’m done chasing you. This ends now. You want to go back into the dreaming and risk your life then you do this for me. I am not going to lose you before I’ve even had you.” The wicked gleam in his eyes made my toes curl against the floor.

“But,” I started, only to be cut off by his mouth crashing down on my own. Lava coursed through my veins as his lips devoured mine, mercilessly taking all he wanted. Every thought of resistance disappeared as my body melted into his. Resistance truly was futile. I didn’t possess the strength to keep fighting. Why should I? Why couldn’t I let myself be with him?

“Because he will betray you,”
my mother’s voice whispered in the back of my mind. Reminding me of why I’d run so long. Ian’s lips moved down my throat, pulling my attention back to the present, the heat suffusing my body chased away any doubts. This was right, and he was not like her. Ian wouldn’t betray me.

“He will leave you,”
her voice whispered.

“No, he won’t,” I whispered back, ridding myself of any doubt that still lingered. Ian was right – it was time to stop running.

“He won’t what?” Ian asked, fear etching his face. He was waiting for another rejection, for me to push away again. I was tired of running, of fighting the inevitable.

“Nothing, it was nothing,” I breathed, pulling him back to my lips. Hurriedly I began pulling his clothes from his body. I couldn’t get to his skin quickly enough. Need rushed forth as I struggled to touch every part of him simultaneously.

“Molly, are you sure?” Ian stopped my hands on his chest, looking down into my eyes. Now he grew a conscience? The dumbass.

“Would you stop interrupting me? I’m trying to do things here.” With a raised brow, I leaned into his chest, slowly kissing my way up to his neck.

Ian growled, lifting me up so my legs circled his back. I could feel him pressing against me, causing heat to pool low in my stomach. I needed him like I needed the air I breathed. He was right, it was time to stop running and start living. I would start with him. Here and now, I would have him.

Ian moved to the bed, my legs never breaking free. Tossing me on the bed, he hovered over my body, hesitating for a moment. Awe shone from his features as he looked down on me lying beneath him.

“Don’t stop,” I begged. “Please, don’t stop.”

With a wicked tilt to his mouth he bent down to whisper in my ear, “You can’t escape me now. You are mine.”

And I was. For more hours than I can recount, nothing else mattered. Not the Revenants, not Izzy, not Kennan’s death. All that mattered was right there in that bed.

Lying in a twisted pile of Guardian limbs, I breathed deeply. Sated and numb, reality came crashing back in. Events of earlier in the day rushed to the surface, reminding me I had a job to do, one that couldn’t be ignored any longer.

“Where do you think you’re going?” Ian muttered into the pillow, half asleep, as I got up to grab my clothes.

“I’m going into the dreaming, but I don’t want to go in there naked.” I wasn’t sure if I could conjure up clothes in there or not. Either way, I sure as heck didn’t want to take the chance of Aberto seeing me in my birthday suit.

“Now?” Ian whined. “Just come back to bed. I have something for you.” His wicked smile told me exactly what he had for me.

“Really? Again?” I looked at him shocked. I could barely stand as it was, let alone go another round with his towering behemoth self.

“Always.” Ian lifted his eyebrow in my direction, causing flutters to begin deep in my stomach.

“No.” I stomped my foot, reminding myself, more than anything, I had something that needed to be done. “Your charm isn’t going to work on me, mister. I have stuff I need to do. In case you’ve forgotten, the world is falling apart around us. Stop trying to distract me.”

“You’re a buzz kill, you know that, right?” Ian rolled over on his back exposing his abdomen, tempting me even further. Closing my eyes, I pulled on my clothes the rest of the way before moving to a chair in the corner.

“Why are your eyes closed?” Ian snickered.

“So I’m not tempted to ignore my responsibilities.”

“You’re going to run into something if you walk around like that.”

“Then put some clothes on. Clearly, you are a hazard to my well-being.” I smiled, peeking to see if he made any motion to move. Of course he hadn’t.

“Do you need any help?”

“What?” Blush stained my cheeks. I wasn’t sure what he meant.

“Getting into the dreaming. Do you need any help getting into the dreaming?” Ian closed his eyes as if he were trying to concentrate himself. If his question hadn’t shocked me into opening my own, I would have missed it.

“No, I think I’m good. If you could just, you know, stop distracting me with your hotness.”

“No promises.”

Lowering myself into the chair, I began to clear my mind. Forgetting the past few hours would be harder than anything I’d had to do lately. The more I tried not to think about Ian the more he was all I could think about. Stop thinking about him, Molly! Izzy still needs you! With that sobering reality, thoughts of pleasure faded to those of fear. It was time to focus on something other than myself. It was time to sack up and embody Izzy.

My senses blurred as the dreaming came rushing in. Trying my best to remember what Uriel had said, I struggled to gain my bearings. The dreaming wasn’t all that welcoming when it came to me. It seemed it actively tried to push me out. Not for the first time, I wondered if I were the only Seer with this problem. Maybe it was my half-human heritage the dreaming rejected. Either way, I was determined to make it bend to my will. It wouldn’t defeat me. No siree, Bob!

“Aberto? Where are you?” I shouted, letting the echoes traverse the fog.

“The light.” A strained response came echoing back from far off in the distance. Awesome, why couldn’t I have dropped into the dreaming closer to them? Stupid dreaming.

Moving through the dense fog, I sought out the light. As my feet carried me, the ridiculousness of the past few days finally began to sink in. My life in the lab had been downright luxurious compared to everything that had happened. Oh, for simpler times. Alas, an easy life didn’t seem to be in the cards, so I would take what I was given and make the most of it. By heading toward the light.

“What message do you bring?” Aberto ground out each word, as if each syllable took an inordinate amount of effort to speak.

“I come with a message, but it isn’t one that makes sense. Hopefully you’ll understand it!” I shouted back, knowing full well I would never be able to push through Izzy’s defenses to reach him. He’d been struggling to regain ground the entire time I’d been gone.

“What. Is. It?” Each word was clipped, laced with irritation.

“Sacrifice and love!” I yelled.

“Sacrifice and love.” I heard the resignation in his voice as if the message was all he needed. So Uriel did know what needed to be done, and how to get Aberto to act upon it. At least one of us understood the cryptic message.