Seeing is Believing (23 page)

How long before she wasn’t interesting enough for him?

Granted, it had been his idea to stay in Cuttersville, but that was because she’d made it clear she wasn’t going anywhere. She had made it clear she wasn’t going to see him or sleep with him anymore because her parents didn’t approve. So this was her fault, and she felt regret grip her like the flu.

It didn’t make sense to keep going down a path that would leave them both hurt. It was a path they should never have even stepped onto.

“Are you okay?” Amanda asked her from the stairs.

Piper shook her head, still watching the truck recede into the night. “No. I just shoved the man I love away from me because I’m afraid of being abandoned.” She gave a shaky laugh. “I’m like a textbook case of kids who were dumped by their parents.”

Amanda came down the steps. “Well, nine out of ten kids are going to carry insecurities because of that. Odds were you weren’t going to be the lucky one, but I am really sorry to hear that.”

“I thought I was over all that. I’ve had a loving life. You and Dad are the best parents I could ask for.” Piper leaned on the window glass, feeling very small and sad and ungrateful.

“So on the other hand, maybe you’re using that as an excuse. Most people have a moment of panic when they realize they’re in love. Maybe you’re being too hard on yourself and it’s just your knee-jerk reaction to shove him away because it’s scary to think that someone owns that much of your emotion. It could have nothing to do with your childhood.”

“I don’t know.” When she had been little, her imaginary friend, Anita, had made all their decisions, had all the answers, never showed fear.

She wasn’t a little girl anymore, and there was no Anita.

But that little girl was still part of her, and maybe for the first time, she really understood that she needed to respect her, not ignore her.

“I’m going to go back to my place,” she told her mother. “There are some things I need to do.”

Alone in her rental house an hour later, she had e-mailed a digital file of the portrait Brady had painted to Stuart in New York. She had e-mailed Bree for an appointment, not to have her tarot read but to ask her how to communicate better with the spirits who appeared to her. She searched her insurance for a therapist who dealt with childhood abuse, just to talk her situation through with a professional. She made a note to call the salon to get her hair trimmed. Two inches. She could manage two inches for starters.

Wandering around her house, she marveled that she and Brady had made it a home in such a short amount of time. His clothes were in the bedroom, his toothbrush on the counter, his laptop on the kitchen table. They’d painted, hung photos, put down area rugs. The wicker furniture her parents despised fit perfectly in this tiny cottage and her bed was snug inside their bedroom.

Her bedroom.

Piper stared at the painting of her in her living room. She wasn’t sure how she could look at it every day. But she wasn’t sure that she could ever get rid of it either. He had captured her love for him. It was in her soft smile, the tilt of her head.

How could she ever cover that with stark white primer?

She had made a mistake. It would be better to run their relationship into the ground, have whatever time they could have, before it ended. To steal those precious moments, to live happy, until they weren’t anymore.

Piper called Brady with shaky fingers.

He didn’t answer.

The background on her cell phone reflected up at her. Butterflies. The mural he had painted on her old bedroom wall.

Piper went into her photos and deleted it.

She had been carrying that fantasy entirely too long.

Chapter Fifteen

BRADY SAT DOWN IN THE CORNER OF THE COFFEE
shop on his lunch break with Shelby and the twins. Boston was at Zach’s basketball game.

“How the heck are all you girls?” he asked, smiling. He was glad for the company while he ate his sandwich. Sometimes he enjoyed retreating into a moody corner and putting in his earbuds while he took his break. But most of the time he preferred company. It was one of the reasons he didn’t mind the low-paying job he’d begged Charlotte to give him at her coffee shop. He got to interact with people, saw repeat customers over and over, and was reminded of the simple pleasure of doing something for someone else. Never in a million years would he have thought he would be content to do something like this, but he was. For now.

He had contemplated going back to Chicago after Piper closed the door on him, but he couldn’t do it. Not when his family was here. Not when there might someday still be a chance for him and Piper.

“We started ballet today,” Emily told him, managing to speak for once before her normally more aggressive twin. The ballet lessons were a little obvious, given they were both dressed in pink tights with black leotards under their thick coats, their feet crammed into rain boots.

“Cool. Sounds like a kick.” He winked at them.

They laughed. Shelby rolled her eyes. “How are you?” she asked, and it was a fully locked and loaded question. Everyone wanted to know how he was. They all seemed to think he was going to dig himself a grave and dive into it.

He wasn’t great. But he was okay. “I’m fine.”

“I don’t believe you.”

“What, you want me to cry?” he asked her, holding his potato chip bag out to the girls to offer them one. “Yeah, I had my heart broken—is that what you want to hear? It sucks. What am I supposed to do about it? I can’t make her talk to me, and believe me, I’ve tried.” Brady couldn’t even count the number of times he’d called Piper in the last two months. More than he could count. To be fair, she had called him back a few times, but they always missed each other. It was like it was meant to be that way.

“Look, Brady, I really owe you an apology. It was your right to date whoever you wanted and I had no business giving you a hard time. So I’m sorry. You’re a good man, and you deserve to be happy.”

Brady was touched. “Thanks, I appreciate that. That means a lot to me.”

Emily and Lilly munched on his chips and thumb wrestled with each other. Brady watched them, very grateful that he was getting to know Shelby’s kids on a more familiar basis. It was a gift that Piper had inadvertently given him. “Hey, I called my mom.”

Shelby almost dropped her latte. “You did? I didn’t even know you knew where she was.”

“I found her on Facebook. It wasn’t that hard.” Hearing Piper express her fear that she was more messed up from her childhood than she had realized had made him wonder about himself. He liked to think he had no issues with his mother running off, yet he clearly had separated himself from the rest of his family. So he’d found her and called her and it had been just fine. A friendly, but not too friendly, conversation.

“So how did it go?”

“You know, it was fine. It wasn’t like she pissed me off by telling me to take a hike. But I didn’t get any warm fuzzy feelings of nostalgia either. I think we were both just mildly pleased with it. Content to talk, but not in need of doing it again anytime soon. Which probably sounds weird.”

“Not really. Just because you want to know someone has thought of you doesn’t mean you want to be in their life again. You just want to know that on some intrinsic level they care.”

“Exactly. But I did ask her about my name.” Brady shook his head, still not ready to accept he was named for such an incredibly stupid reason. “She says she had no idea there was a previous Brady Stritmeyer. She named me Brady because
The
Brady Bunch
was her favorite show growing up.”

Shelby’s jaw dropped, then she closed her mouth tightly, like she was fighting the urge to laugh.

“I know. It’s ridiculous.”

“Oh, Lord.”

“Exactly. She says that she always thought Greg Brady was hot.”

“So why didn’t she just name you Greg?”

“God only knows. So my name is a total coincidence. There is no higher meaning.” He bit his turkey sandwich and marveled at the sheer randomness of life.

Which became even more random when the door chime tinkled and he glanced up to see Piper coming in the door. The sandwich got stuck in his throat and he choked a little, trying to force it down. Shit. He had been waiting for a chance to see her, talk to her, and it had to be here, now? He had fantasies about being back in the apple orchard, proposing to her to show he was serious about being committed to her, giving her the gift he had picked out for her at a little artsy boutique in Chicago, the ring he thought suited her perfectly.

A mouthful of food and steamed milk on his shirt was not part of his vision.

Piper was wearing a red scarf wrapped around her neck, her hair pulled back in a ponytail. Funny how he’d never seen her wear her hair pulled back like that. But she looked the same. He wasn’t sure why she would look different. It just seemed like something should visibly reflect that she was as devastated as he was.

Instead she was smiling and walking up to the counter.

Shelby followed his gaze and her eyes widened. “Oh, my word.”

The twins looked, too, and they yelled, “Piper!” Chairs were shoved back and they went running to her.

Which was when Brady realized she was not alone.

She was with a guy.

* * *

PIPER HEARD HER NAME AND LOOKED UP TO SEE LILLY
and Emily rushing towards her in pink tights. Looking behind them, it took her only a second to realize Shelby was sitting with Brady and he was staring at her.

“Cameron,” she said, turning around in a panic. “He’s here.”

“Who?” Cameron frowned and looked around.

But by then it was too late. The girls were bouncing around her telling her about ballet class and she was giving appropriate responses and Shelby and Brady were standing up and she was trying not to panic.

This wasn’t how she wanted to see Brady for the first time in two months. It was cold outside and she was wearing a scarf. Her nose was probably red. Her hair was pulled back because, with the scarf, the hair had to go away or she would suffocate under the double volume of hair and knit.

“We haven’t seen you in forever,” Emily said, and it sounded a little accusatory.

“Is this your boyfriend?” Lilly asked, eyeing Cameron with curiosity.

“No, this is my friend Cameron.”

“Hello, small children,” he said with a casual wave.

Then Shelby and Brady were upon them and Piper swallowed hard. Brady looked good. His hair was longer and he was wearing a coffee shop shirt. She’d heard he had started working here full-time but it was a little hard to believe. He looked content, though, a slight smile on his face, his biceps shown to advantage in his short-sleeved shirt. Biceps she had once had the right, however briefly, to touch.

She should have tried harder to speak to him. He’d called her. She’d called him. But they’d never spoken. That suddenly felt so unbelievably wrong she couldn’t find any words to express all the thoughts and emotions that were kicking around her. Hell, kicking at her. She wanted to just grab him and kiss him and take him home to their house, the blue house they had fixed together. But she had screwed that up, probably forever.

“Hi, Piper,” Brady said, and there was a tone she didn’t recognize. “Who’s your friend?”

Then she knew. Jealousy. That’s what she heard. Maybe, despite her mistakes, there was a chance. She shouldn’t hope. But she couldn’t help it. “Oh, this is Cameron, my friend from middle school.”

“Nice to meet you.” Cameron stuck his hand out and shook Brady’s.

“Brady Stritmeyer.”

Cameron’s eyebrows shot up as he caught on to what was happening. “So, I need a black coffee the size of my head before I have to help my mother figure out her new computer. Anyone else need anything?”

“No, no, we’re good,” Shelby said firmly, when the twins started to offer their needs.

“I need to speak to Piper for a second,” Brady said suddenly. “Alone.”

Piper tried to tamp down the hope that bloomed in her. It could be anything. He might have heard from Stuart. He might want his toothbrush back, the only thing still left at her place after she had sent the rest of his things home with Shelby a few days after their breakup. Just because he wanted to talk here, now, didn’t mean he wanted to talk about them. It was probably about the toothbrush.

“Sure.” She moved over to the stone fireplace in the center of the room and turned back to him. “How are you?”

He shrugged. “I’m okay. How are you?”

Her answer was the same. “Okay.” That was what she was. Fine. Okay. Hanging in there. Making progress. Coming to terms.

But she wasn’t great, amazing. Happy. None of those.

Brady crossed his arms over his chest, like he was uncomfortable. “I wanted to tell you that I don’t want you feeling guilty about not sending a picture of my painting to Stuart. That was your idea in the first place, not mine, and I didn’t really care one way or the other, so truthfully, I think it was your dream for me, not mine. I don’t need to hit it big in the art world to be content with what I’m producing. And I am, for the first time in a long time, and I owe that to you.”

That surprised her. She had been carrying a great deal of guilt around over that. But he was right—it had been her idea. Nodding, she said, “Thank you. I’m glad you’re still painting.”

He nodded.

They were both a couple of nodding fools.

“I’m only on break, and I should probably get back to it, but are you coming to Shelby’s party?”

“Yes.” Boston was having a forty-first birthday party for Shelby because he’d taken her literally the year before when she’d said she didn’t want a fortieth party. This was an attempt at rectifying that mistake. “Of course.”

Brady gave a look she couldn’t decipher. “Save a dance for me?”

As if there was any way she could say no to him. “I’d love to.”

* * *

TAKING A PULL ON HIS BEER, BRADY LOOKED AROUND
the yard at Shelby’s and was satisfied with what he saw. He and Boston had spent the day pitching a tent and stringing it with lights. They had rolled out a couple of kegs and put down plywood boards duct taped together for dancing while Gran and Amanda and Willie Tucker and Piper and Shelby’s mom had lined up tables by the house and piled them with food. Now the party was in full swing, and Brady was amazed to realize how happy it made him to see that he knew every one of these people.

No matter what happened with him and Piper, he wasn’t going anywhere.

But if he had anything to say about it, a whole lot would be happening between him and Piper. Watching her all day, seeing how she smiled at all her relatives, how she entertained and counseled the kids, the way she followed directions and never got stressed, it just confirmed for him that she was an amazing woman.

He knew what he’d known all along, and while he’d stepped back for a while, given her the space she’d asked for, he wasn’t doing it anymore. Tonight he was throwing it all out there and she could either take it or leave it. But he had to try.

The air was crisp, and the bonfire he and Boston and Danny had built was blazing away. Kids, jacked up on soda and birthday cake, were tossing marshmallows into the fire and watching them explode. Piper was supervising, keeping the overexcited single-digit set from falling face-first into the flames.

They had of course spoken, greeted each other, made various random comments to each other as the day had gone by, just like anyone else there. But that was it, and Brady had been waiting for just the right moment to approach her.

When the music blaring through the speakers changed from fast-paced country-line dancing to an old-school eighties love ballad, Brady knew this was his chance.

Since he’d never gotten anything by hanging back and waiting for it to fall in his lap, Brady went over to the fire and moved in close to Piper, too close for two people who weren’t dating. Her reaction was what he expected. She turned, flustered, and grabbed her throat. She was bundled up in a winter coat with a fake fur collar, and he wanted to grab those lapels and kiss her until the sun came up.

God, he had missed her. He couldn’t live without her. He couldn’t. She was a doorway to the purest happiness he’d ever known, to a contentment he’d never even known existed.

“Oh! Brady.”

Intertwining his fingers in hers, he said, “Dance with me?”

With a flustered look at the children, then over to the dance floor, she took a deep breath and said, “Yes.”

For the first time Brady realized Cameron was on the other side of the fire. “Watch the kids, Cam,” she said. “And hold my drink, please.”

“Yeah, because that’s exactly what I want to do,” Cameron said, looking anything but pleased as he took the cup from her.

Brady led her to the dance floor. Piper’s cheeks were pink from the heat of the fire, and she looked so alive, so juicy, he was having a hard time holding an erection at bay. When she wrapped her arms around his neck and they started to sway, Brady was overcome with a sense of certainty. This was the woman he was meant to be with.