Seeker (18 page)

He had tried hard to recall the face of the man, but still nothing came forth. All he knew for sure was he'd got the name wrong; there was a Charlie involved somewhere, but that name did not fit in with the shadow man. The name Charlie brought with it a sense of comfort, but the shadow man only produced a feeling of disquiet.

Sam was drawn to the opposite end of the car park, and within minutes he was actually there, having walked down the street of hotels and B&Bs which ran the length of the car park, perfectly situated for those wishing to avail themselves of Southend's night life and/or the seafront attractions that Sam could see over the roofs of the nightclubs. There was a fairground of some kind beyond the clubs, the tip of one particular rollercoaster being most evident. He turned at the end of the street, not towards the clubs as he thought he might, but instead right to an alley that led behind the old church.

It was here that it had happened, whatever it was. The one event that had sent his life out of control, something so wrong that he'd been stripped of his memories and thrown into Lilly's life without preamble. He just wished he knew what
it
was.

In the corner of the alley, which careered off left and around a bend, he spotted a CCTV camera situated high on a wall. He wondered if he'd be able to contact the police to pull up the CCTV footage; surely whatever had happened had been recorded? But if that was the case, why had the police done nothing to follow it up? Surely an attack that ferocious would have been enough to spark their interest. Four men attacking two innocent guys had to be classed as a public disturbance at the very…

Sam stopped short.

Four men? Where did that come from?

Before he could ask any more questions of his memory, his mind came under the painful assault of another flashback.

He was barely aware of the activity outside the clubs further along Lucy Road, he was intoxicated and not just on alcohol. This is what stepping beyond your comfort zone was really about. --------- was pressed against the wall, Willem's arm across his chest, while his other hand was helping --------- continue the steady rhythmic movement over the hardness beneath his trousers
.

Willem arched his neck, his breathing getting faster and faster, approaching the moment of release. Suddenly --------- stopped, and Willem opened his eyes
.

“Why…have you…stopped?” he panted
.

No answer was needed. The crunching of glass under foot was enough. Two men entered the alley from the corner leading behind the old church, and another two blocked the other end, cutting off any possible retreat along Lucy Road
.

“You queer fuckers.”

“Oh shit,” Willem said softly, the blood quickly moving from his dick and hastening the beat of his heart. He looked at --------- and almost pulled away at the relish on his face
.

There was a warm trickling down his neck, just below his jaw line. Sam reached for it and when he pulled his hand away he found blood on his fingers. Once again his ears were bleeding, as if the returning memories were causing some kind of haemorrhage in his brain.

He looked at the blood, squishing it between his fingers, and felt another memory returning.

Lips moist with freshly drank blood edged towards his own dry lips, cracking from the loss of blood that was seeping out from the deep gash in his neck where --------- had struck out blindly, caught in the moment of his hunger
.

“No,” Willem tried to whisper, in spite of the promises of his new lover, but the word barely escaped his mouth before --------- pushed his tongue into Willem's mouth. He immediately felt the warm, cloying taste of blood on his own tongue, followed by a sharp sting when ---------'s tongue touched his
.

He was being pulled down into a darkness…and he knew his life was over. At least the way it had been
.

Everything went black for Sam then, his entire body stopped, falling against the wall like a marionette with its strings abruptly cut.

* * *

Unknown to most, at the CCTV Control Centre at Essex Police Headquarters in Chelmsford, Detective Inspector Rochelle Swanson looked from PC Stewart Lumley, who manned the desk, and up at the display showing choice images fed in through CCTV cameras across Essex, signposted for special attention by officers at the CCTV Control Centres throughout the county.

“Tell your associate at the Southend Control Centre well done,” she said to Lumley. “You were right when you said she could be relied upon, her diligence is commendable. The Three will be most pleased when I tell them.”

“Will this get me my audience?” Lumley asked, his voice hopeful.

“Is the Red Source I provided not enough?” Swanson smiled kindly. “Assuming you perform the next task with the same diligence, then yes, I should think so.”

Not for the first time in the last few days the footage on that particular camera would have to be doctored, to cover the tracks of her people. Lumley had been right to call her, the man passing out was the one who had been killed during the early hours of Saturday morning, and he was the one the Three were now searching for.

The wiping of the tape would have to be orchestrated by Lumley, for she had to call the Three directly. And right away, before some other came across the unconscious “man…”

* * *

Jake was in a void; his feelings no longer understood, and from the moment Amy walked out on him he wandered, seemingly in an aimless direction, going wherever his feet took him.

He had ended up at the Adomako house, and had even gone for a drink with Francis; that he should visit the closest place he had to a home and spend time with the only father figure in his life in what was shaping up to be his darkest day was not lost on him.

He had treated Amy like a total bastard, and he wasn't sure he could forgive himself for that. He wanted to explain things better, so she would understand that he had not meant to hurt her; indeed last night's rather stupid actions were supposed to have made things better between them. But it had backfired somewhat.

Of course, the biggest issue was still his evolving feelings for Will, and deep down he knew that they would forever be the one obstacle he and Amy would never be able to scale.

Conrad had tried to contact him a few times, but Jake either ignored the texts or pressed dismiss when the calls came through. Conrad was another person Jake had treated disgracefully. He was, without doubt, more ashamed of himself then he'd even been in his life.

Once Jake had finally returned home, unusually just sitting in silence, he sent a text to Conrad, saying he would explain what happened later. It was, of course, a lie. Jake would never explain; he couldn't.

There came a knock at the door around two in the afternoon, and although not really up to receiving visitors, Jake wasn't in such a funk that he was willing to be rude to people. So he went to the door and opened it. Standing there was the one person he'd never expected to see at his flat again.

Amy.

An awkward moment followed, wherein neither quite knew what to say, both living in their own private hells. Eventually though Amy entered the flat and walked straight to the living room. Jake stood by the door for a few moments, his heart a mix of confused emotion. But he eventually swallowed his fear of what was to come and followed her into the room.

She stood by the window, her back to him, arms folded. Jake looked around, feeling like a lost boy, about to be scolded by his teacher. He sat on the arm of the nearest chair and waited.

“I've been thinking a lot since this morning,” Amy began, still keeping her back to him. “About you…us. I even took the afternoon off, 'cause I needed to come and see you.” Jake smiled, not that Amy could see it, and a glimmer of hope sparked in him. “And I absolutely believe you are in love with Will. Every fibre of your being screams this fact.”

The air rushed out of him. He was so very tired now.

“But I'm not gay, Amy,” Jake said, no longer able to sound angry. “If I was, then last night I would have enjoyed every moment, but I didn't. It made me physically ill. Everything about it, especially the thought of betraying you like that.”

Amy looked over at her shoulder, and offered a slight smile. “That's something at least.”

This was his chance, to tell her how he really felt. “I'm sorry,” he said, his voice hoarse with emotion, so he coughed and said it again with a more firm tone. “I really did not want to hurt you, that was the last thing on my mind. But I've been so confused, and I didn't know what to do…”

“I believe you,” Amy said, interrupting him. “But this is not about what you did last night. Sure, that smarts, and it's a betrayal I may never forgive you for. But I
do
understand why you did what you did, even if it does sicken me.” She looked away again, then after taking a deep breath she turned away from the window and walked over to him.

Jake watched her, struck by the pain in her eyes. There was no way this afternoon was going to end well.

“As I said, I've been thinking. Sometimes you meet a person and they totally spin your head, and you just know they are the one. You don't see it coming, but when it hits you, you can't deny it.” She sat on the chair beside him and reached out for his hand. Jake's breath caught in his throat at the touch of her skin. “I thought that was us. The last two weeks have been great…well, until Will went missing. But I honestly thought you and me had something.”

“We do.”

“We
did
for a while there, but it's gone.” Amy swallowed and looked down at their joined hands, Jake's thumb gently stroking the back of her hand. “It's you and Will. I never noticed before, but the source of your closeness is so obvious now. Your love for him is something so raw it destroys you to just think he might be gone forever. And I'm not saying you're gay, Jacob, not even a little bit. But I am saying Will is your “one,” and that he's a man makes it harder for you.”

Jake looked down, hating to admit the sense she was talking. But she was right, and he couldn't argue the point.

“But what if I do find Will, and things come together? What am I supposed to do then? No one else will understand. I don't even understand.”

“I don't mean to sound harsh…well, maybe I do a little, but that's not my problem. It's something you're going to have deal with, Jacob.” He looked at her sharply, but he could see no malice in her eyes. She was merely telling him the cold hard facts.

“But…” Jake choked on the words trying to come out of his mouth, his eyes welling up. He had never really broken up with someone before, at least not someone who actually mattered to him. He had heard the phrase “heart break” thrown around a lot, but it wasn't until that moment, looking into Amy's eyes, that he truly understood what it meant to have your heart broken. “What about us?”

“There is no us. There can't be,” Amy said, the pain of that truth written all over her face. She got to her knees and leaned towards him until their foreheads met. They remained like that for a few moments, the tears of regret and mutual hurt flowing freely.

“Life's so unfair at times,” Amy said, her voice shaking, “I've barely had you for two weeks…”

“You deserve better than me.”

“Damn straight, mister,” Amy said with forced joviality, pulling her head away from his. Despite her tone, the tears continued to slowly run down her face. “I deserve someone who thinks I'm the most important person in their life. A man who is all mine.”

“I can be that man,” Jake said, hating the desperation in his voice, but he was beyond the point of trying to hide it. He had made some mistakes in his life, and he didn't want Amy to be one of them.

Amy smiled sadly. “No, you can't be. Will is in you too much.” She removed a tissue from her pocket. She dabbed her eyes carefully, to ensure minimum damage to her mascara. “I'm going to grab my stuff from the bathroom and go. No goodbyes, I'm just going to leave. I…I don't think I can say goodbye,” she added, standing up, sniffing back the new tears already forming.

* * *

Again Jake wandered the streets of South West London, having felt the walls of his flat closing in around him. Most of the time he didn't pay attention to the direction he was going, except for noting that at one point he crossed Putney Bridge, so caught up was he in his own thoughts.

There was little coherence in his mind, just a jumble of thoughts and feelings. He had no idea what to do with himself; he had considered catching up with Mike, perhaps going for a drink, but found he really wasn't in the mood for company.

He received a text from Conrad, but Jake had no intention of going there again. If there was one person so interconnected with his split from Amy then Conrad was it, and Conrad didn't deserve the kind of bile Jake directed his way.

It was only when he looked up from the pavement that he realised his legs had brought him to Barclay Road, and he had stopped outside Will's house.

He reached out to the nearest lamppost and took a deep breath.
Will is in you too much
. Amy's words resonated in his head, and looking up at the house Jake knew that she had been absolutely right.

Somewhere along the way Willem had become the most important person in Jake's world.

He felt a vibration in his jeans pocket and removed his phone before the ringtone could sound. For a second he had hoped it was Amy, that she was calling to say she'd changed her mind. But it was only PC Medeiros.

As he pressed the green button his heart kicked in, the fear and adrenalin coursing through his system. After things with Amy he knew to expect the worst. Life wasn't so good to him anymore.

“Hello?” he said, his throat dry.

“Hi, Jake, it's Eliza Medeiros, I've got some new information about the case. Officers in Southend have visited and spoken to Charlie Connolly…”