Seeking Nirvana (19 page)

Being in Laurie’s company for most of the day had definitely been a distraction from my life. We giggled and joked, we talked and I listened intently as she bitched about the grievances in her life, offering the friendly nod of agreement as she vented. It felt nice, knowing that someone felt secure enough to be open and share their problems with me, unlike me burdening them with my problems.

It was almost 4:00 p.m. by the ti
me I got back home. Laurie leaned over the console and gave me a friendly peck on the cheek to say bye, and thanked me for a fun afternoon. I don’t think she realized how much it was
me
that was thankful to
her
.

I slipped from the van and headed up the front steps, throwing a farewell wave over my shoulder, amongst dipping my free hand in my purse in a frantic search for my key, when I heard the phone inside the house making its God awful noise.

“Bye, Kady. Have fun tonight,” she called out before pulling off.

Seeing that I kicked the door open in haste to answer the incoming call, the door rebounding from the inner wall shouldn’t have come as a surprise.
Nevertheless, I let out an overly loud shriek at the din.

Kicking
the door firmly behind me, I ran for the phone with my royal blue and gold Marcela’s Obsession bag hooked over the crook of my arm.

“Hello,” I panted down the speaker.

“Kady, baby, where have you been? I’ve called three times this afternoon.” My stomach space launched, and my chicken mayo and bacon Panini I consumed at Tiffani’s Diner, decided to make an unexpected appearance in the form of a burning substance coating my throat. It impossible for me to speak. “Kady,” he sounded sterner, which didn’t help my now quivering legs.

“I
–I’m sorry, Liam. I h–have only just got back––” I stuttered, overrun by a sudden launch of nerves.

“Back?
Back from where? There’s food in the house, there’s no need for you to walk around unaccompanied. It makes me very uncomfortable, Kady, baby. You should know that.”

Fucking hell, I felt like I was getting told off by the principal for
vandalizing the toilet stalls.

“I went out for a run, a
nd I stopped by Ent-icing.” Well, I technically wasn’t lying. I did it yesterday. If he rang yesterday then I could have told him then.

“You did?” he
asked with a suspicious tone. I could practically hear the creases forming in his brow.

“Yes, Laurie is a lovely young woman. She
gave me the recipe book and my apron. I thought I could throw myself in, and hopefully regain some semblance of me back.”

“That’s amazing, Kady. I’m very happy you feel that way.”

The frown I was sporting due to the seemingly flawed words he spoke was carved deeper when I heard a female’s voice in the background. “Who’s that?”

“That’s reception, Kady. I’m ringing from the foyer.”

Hmm…I couldn’t help but wonder why he was ringing from there and not from his suite. For the large sum paid to stay in the 5* hotel, I’m damn sure the suite was hooked up with a phone line.

“I wanted to just let you know that the meeting went ay-okay, and I will be back tomorrow afternoon.”

If someone had told me that I would be overwhelmed by the utmost sensation of dread, shock horror and panic at that assertion, I would never have believed it. But my, God, did I get an ample fist full of each one. During the few days he had been away, I felt somewhat at ease––confused by certain revelations, but despite that setback, I found a form of contentment along with the ability to breath in his absence. Now, I felt the air being squeezed from me. I felt trapped, like I was a kidnapped victim and my abductor was coming back to rule me again.

It was a very unwelcomed feeling.

It was a scary feeling, one I didn’t want to feel. One I didn’t want to ever experience, and one that I would happily pay all the tea in China to free myself of.

“Really?
Wow, that’s…” I struggled to speak.

“I know, Kady, baby. I’ve missed you. I’ve been so worried about you being on your own. Now I can look after you again. I can keep my eye on you and make sure you’re safe.”

His declaration and his commitment prompted my heart to thrum mercilessly in its cavity, my legs buckled, my arms shook. Tears distorted my vision before rolling down my cheeks. I felt like a prisoner. I felt suffocated.

“Yeah,” I strained
through the throbbing in my head.

“I’ll see you soon, Kady, baby. I love you.”

I focused on the flooring beneath my feet as I shifted from foot to foot. “Me, too,” I whispered solemnly. “Bye.” As I hung up, I realized that Liam hadn’t mention anything about Walker, and what happened last night. Fuck, maybe I was wrong, maybe Mrs. Steinbeck hadn’t called him; maybe
I
was the one jumping to paranoid conclusions.

Guilt festered upon me as I trudged up the stairs.

I think I owe my nosey neighbor a sincere apology.

Once I had laid out my newly purchased outfit on the foot of the bed, I took my time in the shower.
I stood stagnant as I prayed for the stream to wash away my trepidation and concern for the lengths of Liam wanting to keep me cooped up, and under his command. Surely those wishes of his were unhealthy. However, it took altering the setting to a ridiculous temperature, which made my skin prickle and my back arch as I released hiss after painful hiss as the blistering droplets trickled down my spine, to invade my unspoken alarm and fear, and finally bring me back to calmness.

When the ability to think with
out my mind being flooded by my emotions came to pass, I shaved, exfoliated and scrubbed away the grime of the day. Although the cold air plastered onto my naked body as I stepped out of the shower, I hadn’t felt so calm and collected as I did at that point in time. Even through the reminder of my body’s imperfections as I rapidly toweled my legs of moisture, I was content. I was excited.

I was happy…for now.

I dried and curled my hair before clipping the upper half of my locks back in a grabber-like clip. I never really required much makeup because my skin had a natural glow. So apart from a little blush, and several coats of lengthening mascara, I was set.

Honey body butter was
massaged into my body, before I carefully stepped into the satin ensemble. Wiggling my hips, I held the material in position and raised the side zipper. For once, I’m unashamed to admit that I remained motionless ahead of the white and gold marbled, fully-length mirror, and actually admired the person staring back at me, for an age. Laurie was dead right about the dress. The satin felt amazing against my skin, and the color did amazing things to my complexion. Fitted, it caressed the contours of my body, while keeping my breasts supported without the need of an actual bra––which I was grateful for.

It was short enough to show a fair amount of leg, but thankfully, long enough to cover my ‘tales of an unremembered story’.

I twirled my back to the looking-glass, and craned my head to glimpse over my right shoulder to double check I had no visible panty line. Going braless for the night I could fare with, going commando was another story entirely. Thank the Heaven’s; I was safe with my barely-there thong.

An unexpected tiny yelp
of exhilaration flew from my mouth as I sashayed to the bench-seat in the bay window and lowered my satin-clad ass on the cream cushion. Parking myself on the bench, I stepped into my newly procured matching shoes. With my body folded over, I was tightening the straps along my ankle, when a shadow formed in the upper periphery of my vision. Lifting my head gradually, I was met with a very relaxed, very tasty looking Walker on the threshold. Hands relaxed in his jacket, the black leather concealed most of a blue, white and turquoise plaid shirt, beneath which he sported a white T-shirt. His choice of jeans, although not completely faded, was the lightest I had ever seen him model. And at that point, he looked like an exceptionally desirable model.

Gingerly scouring
up the length of his body with my eyes, a subtle twitch of my lips displayed the level of my appraisal. Unfortunately, the air which was held prisoner in my lungs while a lustful groan escaped my throat, along with obvious darkening of my eyes, wasn’t deemed as subtle.

A mouth eclipse
d by seductive, coveted stubble curled into a luscious, animated grin. God he had an amazing smile. His shoulder was pressed against the doorway.

“How did you…”
My voice faded as he removed his hand from his pocket and lifted the silver key between his thumb and index finger, a sexy, shrewd grin kissing his lips. “Why do I even bother asking?”

“
I think the question should actually be––” Hands nestled safely back into his jacket pockets, he prowled with purpose into the room and around the bed. “Why do I waste time asking questions I
know
the answer to, when I should be asking questions I
need
an answer to.”

A slight sting tingled up my legs when I
slapped my hands on my knees. With a smirk, I thrust myself up from the bench. “You’re being very Yoda-ish tonight.” I smoothed out any gathering of the dress.

His
jaw dropped to the thick, cream carpet under his feet, his eyes transformed into a dark void of…I think it was desire. It made a change; I was usually the one sporting that look. Seeing him being affected made me tingle and my nipples strained against the material as my body bred a shudder. There was no possible way he couldn’t have notice, but I didn’t feel embarrassed. I felt sexy, powerful…coveted.

Hands fisted their way in
to his ruffled, dark, sexy hair before settling on the nape of his neck. “Fuck me, Kady. You look sensational.” While deepened eyes continued their lingered journey over my body, I trembled with a form of female triumph under his scrutiny. It wasn’t my intention to rouse the reaction which Walker was blatantly succumbing to, but it was nice to have that expression aimed at me. It was nice to know that I, for once, wasn’t the only one who was combatting something traitorous.

A shoulder hitched while
I gave way to a sweet smile. The Indian Ocean hardened into sapphires before my very eyes. “NOTHING to be ashamed of, right?” I quoted his letter from that morning.

He shook
his head deliberately, his lips curving into a megawatt beam. “No, Kady, nothing to be ashamed of, darlin’. Never.”

By the time I had turned around after pulling the front door closed tightly behind me, Walker had already reached the bottom of my front steps. I smiled
my appreciation and chuckled inwardly with a form of incredulity, since he actually waited for me at the foot of the stairway, like a gentleman.

“You could have gotten into the truck,” I said casually, although, I was touched that he didn’t.
And rightly so. My ankle twisted as I dropped down the final step. I should have been flat on my hands and knees, but I was saved by a strong and protective set of arms encompassed around my narrow waist. Hands set on his upper arms, my chest heaved and body began to tremble as shock thwarted my system. I lifted my gaze and came face to face with sheer, raw passion.

With his head tilted downward, his lips wavered after his tongue peeke
d out to moisten them. My eyes, lips, neck and chest, were combed by his stare, before he settled back onto my face. “Just as well I didn’t, ay, darlin’?”

Fuck me; the tone of his voice
alone, had me squirming in his arms. My hips, with a mind of their own, opted for a gentle thrust forward, instigating a fleeting connection with his rock-hard body. Fuck, he smelled delicious, too.

“Yeah,” I forced a swallow,
during which my chest continued to heave at an embarrassing rate. A twitch of his lips told me that my hands subtle grope of his burly biceps which then slipped down to his pectoral wasn’t so subtle after all. My lip found its way under my teeth. “You can let me go now, Walker.”

Making sure I was set firmly on my feet, his arms lo
osened around my body. “Fucking luck of the Irish,” he muttered with profound disapproval.

“What?
Me falling?” I asked as we head to the driveway.

Proceeding
toward the pick-up, we assessed each other over the roof of the car. “No, darlin’, having to let you go. Now get in,” he ordered, and then slipped in behind the wheel, while I lingered in the chilly breeze for a moment, assessing his words.

With
high cheekbones and a megawatt beam of satisfaction, I hauled the door open and slid in next to the smooth-talking Irishman, who was rapidly worming his way into both my every conscious and unconscious thought.

We hit the Southie of Boston within fifteen minutes. That was fifteen undisturbed minutes of utter silence.
Breaking at a red light, I peeked out the side window to a basketball court covered in graffiti and surrounded by metal fencing, the blue sky churned with dusky pinks and opal colors, while to the east, darkened clouds were briskly rolling in.

A calloused hand on my knee,
urged me back from my glum musing. “You’re very quiet tonight. You alright, darlin’?”