Selby Supersnoop (11 page)

‘Have I got news for you,’ Selby thought as Barrington pulled him into Gumboot Cave. ‘Oh, woe, it’s so dark and creepy in here.’

And down they went … and down … and down, lighting the cave ahead with their torches.

‘It’s not too bad so far,’ Selby thought after a while. ‘As long as the tunnels are nice and big, it’s not too scary.’

The Trifles followed Barrington down a steep winding path to a huge open gallery at the bottom.

‘I can never remember what those things are called,’ Mrs Trifle said, pointing her torch around.

‘Stalactites and stalagmites,’ Barrington said matter-of-factly.

‘Yes, but which is which?’

‘Easy: the icicles on the ceiling are the stalactites and the icecream cones on the floor are stalagmites. Just remember that mites go up and tights come down and you’ll never forget which is which.’

‘Mites go up and tights come down,’ said Mrs Trifle. ‘Very good. But, come to think of it, can’t a mite go down as well as up?’

‘Yes, I suppose one could.’

‘And if tights come down, don’t they go up first?’

‘You’re right,’ Barrington said. ‘Now I’ve forgotten which is which. Oh, well.’

Barrington led the Trifles around behind a stalagmite — or maybe it was a stalactite — to a hole in the ground.

‘This is it,’ he said. ‘She’s down there.’

‘But it’s tiny!’ Mrs Trifle exclaimed.

‘It was tight even for Gwen,’ Barrington said. ‘She had to kind of squiggle her way into it, headfirst. Then I heard her slide down the shaft.’

‘But she might be … she might have … passed on or something.’

‘Gwen, dead?’ Barrington said. ‘No. Injured, perhaps, but I’m sure she’s okay. It’s just a matter of getting a line down to her.’

Selby put his head into the entrance of the hole and listened to the sound of rushing water in the distance.

‘Merciful heaven,’ he thought. ‘I think I’m going to faint just thinking of Gwen squiggling down this narrow shaft.’

Meanwhile, Dr Trifle had unpacked his rucksack.

‘Is this your sophisticated rescue equipment?’ Barrington asked. ‘It looks more like a toy truck. What are we supposed to do with that?’

‘Yes,’ Dr Trifle admitted, ‘Supa-Truk was invented as a toy, but with my newly invented Mini-Light and a Mini-Cam it should be perfect to find your sister.’

‘And the string?’

‘It’s not string; it’s ultra-thin, high-tension, fibre-optical cable,’ Dr Trifle said, starting the truck wheels in motion and putting it in the hole. ‘Now keep your eyes on the monitor.’

They all watched the TV monitor as Supa–Truk wound its way down the steep hole and into the shaft. There was a pinpoint of light at the bottom.

‘That’s her!’ Barrington cried. ‘I can see Gwen’s torch!’

The tiny light got bigger and bigger and then, suddenly, a jet of water shot out of the side of the tunnel and the TV picture disappeared.

‘Oh, no!’ Dr Trifle said. ‘Short circuit. I was afraid of that. Supa-Truk isn’t waterproof.’

‘Just keep lowering it down. My sister will see it, clip the line to her belt, and we can pull her up.’

‘How will we know when she’s ready to be pulled up?’ Mrs Trifle said.

‘Three strong tugs,’ Barrington said. ‘That’s the usual signal.’

‘Oh, bother,’ Dr Trifle said. ‘The truck won’t go down. It must be caught on something.’

For the next few minutes, Dr Trifle pulled Supa-Truk up and dropped it again and again.

‘I’m afraid it’s no use,’ he said, finally pulling the truck back up and out of the hole.

‘We’ll just have to wait for the cave rescue equipment.’

‘It’ll be too late,’ Barrington whimpered. ‘Oh, poor Gwenny.’

For a minute everyone sat silently in the dark, their torches making eerie shadows on the ceiling.

‘Now I guess she’ll drown,’ Selby thought. ‘I feel so sorry for her — and for her brother — and for the Trifles. Sniff. This is so sad.’

‘We need somebody small to squiggle down that shaft,’ Barrington said. ‘It’s our only hope.’

‘We can’t go lowering children down to the bowels of the earth,’ Mrs Trifle said. ‘It’s simply not allowed.’

‘I don’t mean a child,’ Barrington said, eyeing Selby. ‘What about your dog?’

Selby felt his blood run cold.

‘What about me?’ Selby thought. ‘I wouldn’t go down there for all the beetroot in Bogusville!’

‘It’s no good,’ Mrs Trifle said. ‘We couldn’t do that to him.’

‘Well, I could,’ Barrington said, clipping Dr Trifle’s line to Selby’s collar.

‘Hey! Stop!’ Selby thought, as he struggled to get free.

‘What will he do when he gets down there?’ Dr Trifle asked.

‘He doesn’t have to do a thing. Gwen will clip the line to her belt, pull on the line, and then we’ll pull her up.’

‘How about Selby?’ Dr Trifle asked.

‘Yeah, how about me?’ Selby thought, his knees now so weak that they wobbled.

‘She could tie him to herself,’ Barrington said. ‘It’s worth a try. I mean, we’re talking about my sister’s life. You can always get a new dog — I can’t get a new sister.’

‘Sheeeeesh!’ Selby thought. ‘I’d try to run away or I’d bite or something but I’m so dizzy I can’t move. Somebody please stop the cave from spinning! I think I’m going to talk. Yes, that’s it. I’m going to tell them that I know how to talk. I’ll reason with them. I’ll talk them out of sending me down there.’

But before Selby could say, ‘Excuse me, but I’m the only talking dog in Australia — and perhaps the world — and there’s no way I’m going down that hole,’ Barrington whisked him off the ground.

‘The dog is our only chance,’ he cried, thrusting Selby headfirst into the hole.

Selby plummetted headlong, headfirst and headdown into the shaft with his legs stiff as steel as he went faster and faster.

‘Yooooooowwwwww! I’m going to die! I’m gone! I’m a dead dog! This is worse than kissing Aunt Jetty! It’s so tight in here!’ he thought. ‘I just feel like clawing my way back up to fresh air! Maybe that’s why they call it claws-trophobia. He, he, he, he.’

Selby giggled at his joke and then giggled some more.

‘Oh, no! Now I’m losing my mind! I can’t stop giggling! I’ve got to stop giggling and keep my wits about me.’

Suddenly Selby came to a slippery stop, but before he could turn around and try to scramble back up, he lost his footing again and slid down a second shaft all the way to the bottom of a big, open cavern filled with stalactites and stalagmites.

Selby was about to give three strong tugs on the line to get them to pull him back up when he saw Gwendolyn lying unconscious next to him on the ground, her torch still burning brightly.

‘Uh-oh, the water’s rising!’ Selby said as he unclipped the line from his collar and attached it to Gwendolyn’s climbing belt. He pushed her sideways and then sat her up with her head sticking up into the shaft.

‘So far, so good,’ Selby thought as the water suddenly came up around his ankles. ‘Now all I have to do is hang onto her legs and they’ll pull us both up.’

Selby pulled three times on the ultra-thin, high-tension line, but before he could get a good grip on the unconscious Gwendolyn, she shot up the shaft.

‘Hey, wait for me!’ Selby screamed above the sound of the rushing water. ‘Oh, no! The water’s rising! I’ve got to get to higher ground!’

Selby scrambled onto a stalagmite — or was it a stalactite? — as the water rose around him. As it reached his feet, he took a leap upwards and grabbed a stalactite on the ceiling — or was it a stalagmite? — and began climbing it, centimetre by centimetre as the water rose. Soon he was at the very top of the cave with nowhere to go.

‘This is it!’ he said. ‘I’m a goner!’

Just then, by the light of the floating torch, Selby noticed a crack in the roof. He put a paw into it and then another paw and the rock gave way, making it an almost-dog-size crack.

‘I’ll squeeze myself up into here and hope the water goes down again.’

Selby wriggled up and up into the crack with the water licking his toes. But as he went the crack got bigger and bigger and bigger and finally it opened out into another cavern. And across the way in the dim light Selby saw the shapes of the Trifles and Barrington bending over Gwendolyn.

‘Where am I?’ she asked. ‘What’s happening?’

‘You’re alive!’ Barrington cried. ‘And you’re safe and sound!’

‘Where’s that big hairy man who helped to rescue me?’

‘Big hairy man?’ Barrington asked. ‘I’m afraid you must have imagined him. The only one down there with you was a medium-sized hairy dog.’

‘Poor Selby,’ Mrs Trifle sniffed. ‘Oh, my poor, poor dog. I’ll never forgive you for this, Barrington. You sacrificed the most wonderful dog in the world.’

‘I think I’ll just stand here for a minute,’ Selby thought, ‘and hear what they thought about me. It isn’t often you get to hear your own funeral speeches.’

‘He was a truly warm and wonderful dog,’ Dr Trifle said, hugging Mrs Trifle.

‘There has never been a dog like Selby,’ Mrs Trifle added. ‘We loved him so, so much.’

‘Gosh,’ Selby thought as he blushed a little dog-like blush. ‘They really did like me.’

‘What a dog,’ Dr Trifle said. ‘He may not have been perfect; he wasn’t the most energetic dog in the world, but we loved him.’

‘Hey, now wait a minute,’ Selby thought.

‘You might even say that he was lazy,’ Mrs Trifle said.

‘And of course he could be cranky at times,’ Dr Trifle added.

‘He may not even have been perfect,’ Mrs Trifle said, ‘but —’

Suddenly, somewhere in the darkness behind them, the Trifles heard a loud bark.

in which everyone in Bogusville
finally finds out Selby’s secret

All of Bogusville was going to the town hall to see High Hat Harry the Happy Hypnotist do his Magic of the Mind Free-for-All Show.

‘It’s absolutely free,’ Mrs Trifle said. ‘It doesn’t cost a cent.’

‘How is that possible?’ asked Dr Trifle. ‘Don’t we have to buy tickets?’

‘No. At the end of the show, Harry passes his hat around. You can donate anything you want. If you don’t enjoy yourself, you don’t have to give anything.’

‘He sounds like an honest man to me,’ said Dr Trifle who was very careful with his money. ‘Let’s go tonight. It could be fun.’

‘It’s not fair,’ Selby thought as he watched the Trifles’ car drive away. ‘Everybody gets to go but me. I want to see High Hat Harry too. Well, I’m going anyway. So there!’

Selby ran off down the street to the town hall. He crept in and hid behind the curtain that covered the back wall. Standing on his hind legs, he could see out over the audience. Harry was standing on stage wearing a huge hat.

‘Well, here I am in Bogusville,’ Harry said. ‘Aren’t I a lucky dog?’

Everyone laughed.

‘So which one of you brave people is going to be my first victim?’ Everyone laughed but no one volunteered. ‘How about you, Mayor Trifle?’

Selby could see Mrs Trifle shake her head.

‘Now, now, Mrs Mayor. Here’s your chance
to win lots of votes,’ Harry said. ‘Or lose them,’ he said to the audience.

‘Oh, all right,’ Mrs Trifle said.

Everyone clapped as Mrs Trifle slowly got out of her seat and made her way to the stage.

‘This won’t hurt, will it?’ she asked the hypnotist.

‘Of course not,’ Harry said. ‘Now just relax and watch my hand.’

Harry moved his hand back and forth slowly and then in a circle that got smaller and smaller.

‘You are getting very sleepy,’ he said.

Harry’s hand came closer and closer to Mrs Trifle’s face. When he snapped his fingers her head suddenly tilted.

‘It worked!’ Selby thought. ‘He actually hypnotised her. This is great!’

‘You are in my power,’ Harry said. ‘Do you hear me?’

‘I am in your power,’ Mrs Trifle said very slowly.

‘You are back in school,’ Harry said, ‘playing in the playground at recess. Do you see all the other children out there?’

‘Yes, I do,’ Mrs Trifle said, putting on a little girl’s voice and looking at the audience.

‘I think they need some cheering up, don’t you?’

‘Why, so they do,’ Mrs Trifle said.

With this, Mrs Trifle started pulling silly faces and making rude noises by putting her tongue between her lips and blowing. Everyone roared with laughter.