Selected Stories of Philip K. Dick (50 page)

“Yes,” Poole said quietly. He stood tautly waiting until the foreman left.

Under the enlarging-lens system the plastic tape assumed a new shape: a wide track along which hundreds of thousands of punch-holes worked their way. I thought so, Poole thought. Not recorded as charges on a ferrous oxide layer but actually punched-free slots.

Under the lens the strip of tape visibly oozed forward. Very slowly, but it did, at uniform velocity, move in the direction of the scanner.

The way I figure it, he thought, is that the punched holes are
on
gates. It functions like a player piano; solid is no, punch-hole is yes. How can I test this?

Obviously by filling in a number of holes.

He measured the amount of tape left on the delivery spool, calculated—at great effort—the velocity of the tape's movement, and then came up with a figure. If he altered the tape visible at the in-going edge of the scanner, five to seven hours would pass before that particular time period arrived. He would in effect be painting out stimuli due a few hours from now.

With a microbrush he swabbed a large—relatively large—section of tape with opaque varnish … obtained from the supply kit accompanying the microtools. I have smeared out stimuli for about half an hour, he pondered. Have covered at least a thousand punches.

It would be interesting to see what change, if any, overcame his environment, six hours from now.

Five and a half hours later he sat at Krackter's, a superb bar in Manhattan, having a drink with Danceman.

“You look bad,” Danceman said.

“I am bad,” Poole said. He finished his drink, a Scotch sour, and ordered another.

“From the accident?”

“In a sense, yes.”

Danceman said, “Is it—something you found out about yourself?”

Raising his head, Poole eyed him in the murky light of the bar. “Then you know.”

“I know,” Danceman said, “that I should call you ‘Poole' instead of ‘Mr. Poole.' But I prefer the latter, and will continue to do so.”

“How long have you known?” Poole said.

“Since you took over the firm. I was told that the actual owners of Tri-Plan, who are located in the Prox System, wanted Tri-Plan run by an electric ant whom they could control. They wanted a brilliant and forceful—”

“The real owners?” This was the first he had heard about that.“We have two thousand stockholders. Scattered everywhere.”

“Marvis Bey and her husband, Ernan, on Prox 4, control fifty-one percent of the voting stock. This has been true from the start.”

“Why didn't I know?”

“I was told not to tell you. You were to think that you yourself made all company policy. With my help. But actually I was feeding you what the Beys fed to me.”

“I'm a figurehead,” Poole said.

“In a sense, yes.” Danceman nodded. “But you'll always be ‘Mr. Poole' to me.”

A section of the far wall vanished. And with it, several people at tables nearby. And—

Through the big glass side of the bar, the skyline of New York City flickered out of existence.

Seeing his face, Danceman said, “What is it?”

Poole said hoarsely, “Look around. Do you see any changes?”

After looking around the room, Danceman said, “No. What like?”

“You still see the skyline?”

“Sure. Smoggy as it is. The lights wink—”

“Now I know,” Poole said. He had been right; every punch-hole covered up meant the disappearance of some object in his reality world. Standing, he said, “I'll see you later, Danceman. I have to get back to my apartment; there's some work I'm doing. Goodnight.” He strode from the bar and out onto the street, searching for a cab.

No cabs.

Those, too, he thought. I wonder what else I painted over. Prostitutes? Flowers? Prisons?

There, in the bar's parking lot, Danceman's squib. I'll take that, he decided. There are still cabs in Danceman's world; he can get one later. Anyhow it's a company car, and I hold a copy of the key.

Presently he was in the air, turning toward his apartment.

New York City had not returned. To the left and right vehicles and buildings, streets, ped-runners, signs … and in the center nothing. How can I fly into that? he asked himself. I'd disappear.

Or would I? He flew toward the nothingness.

Smoking one cigarette after another he flew in a circle for fifteen minutes … and then, soundlessly, New York reappeared. He could finish his trip. He stubbed out his cigarette (a waste of something so valuable) and shot off in the direction of his apartment.

If I insert a narrow opaque strip, he pondered as he unlocked his apartment door, I can—

His thoughts ceased. Someone sat in his living room chair, watching a captain kirk on the TV. “Sarah,” he said, nettled.

She rose, well-padded but graceful. “You weren't at the hospital, so I came here. I still have that key you gave me back in March after we had that awful argument. Oh … you look so depressed.” She came up to him, peeped into his face anxiously. “Does your injury hurt that badly?”

“It's not that.” He removed his coat, tie, shirt, and then his chest panel; kneeling down he began inserting his hands into the microtool gloves. Pausing, he looked up at her and said, “I found out I'm an electric ant. Which from one standpoint opens up certain possibilities, which I am exploring now.” He flexed his fingers and, at the far end of the left waldo, a micro screwdriver moved, magnified into visibility by the enlarging-lens system. “You can watch,” he informed her. “If you so desire.”

She had begun to cry.

“What's the matter?” he demanded savagely, without looking up from his work.

“I—it's just so sad. You've been such a good employer to all of us at Tri-Plan. We respect you so. And now it's all changed.”

The plastic tape had an unpunched margin at top and bottom; he cut a horizontal strip, very narrow, then, after a moment of great concentration, cut the tape itself four hours away from the scanning head. He then rotated the cut strip into a right-angle piece in relation to the scanner, fused it in place with a micro heat element, then reattached the tape reel to its left and right sides. He had, in effect, inserted a dead twenty minutes into the unfolding flow of his reality. It would take effect—according to his calculations—a few minutes after midnight.

“Are you fixing yourself?” Sarah asked timidly.

Poole said, “I'm freeing myself.” Beyond this he had several alterations in mind. But first he had to test his theory; blank, unpunched tape meant no stimuli, in which case the
lack
of tape …

“That look on your face,” Sarah said. She began gathering up her purse, coat, rolled-up aud-vid magazine. “I'll go; I can see how you feel about finding me here.”

“Stay,”he said.“I'll watch the captain kirk with you.”He got into his shirt. “Remember years ago when there were—what was it?—twenty or twenty-two TV channels? Before the government shut down the independents?”

She nodded.

“What would it have looked like,” he said, “if this TV set projected all channels onto the cathode ray screen
at the same time
? Could we have distinguished anything, in the mixture?”

“I don't think so.”

“Maybe we could learn to. Learn to be selective; do our own job of perceiving what we wanted to and what we didn't. Think of the possibilities, if our brains could handle twenty images at once; think of the amount of knowledge which could be stored during a given period. I wonder if the brain, the human brain—” He broke off.“The human brain couldn't do it,” he said, presently, reflecting to himself. “But in theory a quasi-organic brain might.”

“Is that what you have?” Sarah asked.

“Yes,” Poole said.

They watched the captain kirk to its end, and then they went to bed. But Poole sat up against his pillows, smoking and brooding. Beside him, Sarah stirred restlessly, wondering why he did not turn off the light.

Eleven-fifty. It would happen anytime, now.

“Sarah,” he said. “I want your help. In a very few minutes something strange will happen to me. It won't last long, but I want you to watch me carefully. See if I—” He gestured. “Show any changes. If I seem to go to sleep, or if I talk nonsense, or—” He wanted to say, if I disappear. But he did not. “I won't do you any harm, but I think it might be a good idea if you armed yourself. Do you have your anti-mugging gun with you?”

“In my purse.” She had become fully awake now; sitting up in bed, she gazed at him with wild fright, her ample shoulders tanned and freckled in the light of the room.

He got her gun for her.

The room stiffened into paralyzed immobility. Then the colors began to drain away. Objects diminished until, smoke-like, they flitted away into shadows. Darkness filmed everything as the objects in the room became weaker and weaker.

The last stimuli are dying out, Poole realized. He squinted, trying to see. He made out Sarah Benton, sitting in the bed: a two-dimensional figure that doll-like had been propped up, there to fade and dwindle. Random gusts of dematerialized substance eddied about in unstable clouds; the elements collected, fell apart, then collected once again. And then the last heat, energy, and light dissipated; the room closed over and fell into itself, as if sealed off from reality. And at that point absolute blackness replaced everything, space without depth, not nocturnal but rather stiff and unyielding. And in addition he heard nothing.

Reaching, he tried to touch something. But he had nothing to reach with. Awareness of his own body had departed along with everything else in the universe. He had no hands, and even if he had, there would be nothing for them to feel.

I am still right about the way the damn tape works, he said to himself, using a nonexistent mouth to communicate an invisible message.

Will this pass in ten minutes? he asked himself. Am I right about that, too? He waited … but knew intuitively that his time sense had departed with everything else. I can only wait, he realized. And hope it won't be long.

To pace himself, he thought, I'll make up an encyclopedia; I'll try to list everything that begins with an “a.” Let's see. He pondered. Apple, automobile, acksetron, atmosphere, Atlantic, tomato aspic, advertising—he thought on and on, categories slithering through his fright-haunted mind.

All at once light flickered on.

He lay on the couch in the living room, and mild sunlight spilled in through the single window. Two men bent over him, their hands full of tools. Maintenance men, he realized. They've been working on me.

“He's conscious,” one of the technicians said. He rose, stood back; Sarah Benton, dithering with anxiety, replaced him.

“Thank God!” she said, breathing wetly in Poole's ear.“I was so afraid; I called Mr. Danceman finally about—”

“What happened?” Poole broke in harshly. “Start from the beginning and for God's sake speak slowly. So I can assimilate it all.”

Sarah composed herself, paused to rub her nose, and then plunged on nervously, “You passed out. You just lay there, as if you were dead. I waited until two-thirty and you did nothing. I called Mr. Danceman, waking him up unfortunately, and he called the electric-ant maintenance—I mean, the organic-roby maintenance people, and these two men came about four-forty-five, and they've been working on you ever since. It's now six-fifteen in the morning. And I'm very cold and I want to go to bed; I can't make it in to the office today; I really can't.” She turned away, sniffling. The sound annoyed him.

One of the uniformed maintenance men said, “You've been playing around with your reality tape.”

“Yes,” Poole said. Why deny it? Obviously they had found the inserted solid strip. “I shouldn't have been out that long,” he said. “I inserted a ten-minute strip only.”

“It shut off the tape transport,” the technician explained. “The tape stopped moving forward; your insertion jammed it, and it automatically shut down to avoid tearing the tape. Why would you want to fiddle around with that? Don't you know what you could do?”

“I'm not sure,” Poole said.

“But you have a good idea.”

Poole said acridly, “That's why I'm doing it.”

“Your bill,” the maintenance man said,“is going to be ninety-five frogs. Payable in installments, if you so desire.”

“Okay,” he said; he sat up groggily, rubbed his eyes, and grimaced. His head ached and his stomach felt totally empty.

“Shave the tape next time,” the primary technician told him.“That way it won't jam. Didn't it occur to you that it had a safety factor built into it? So it would stop rather than—”

“What happens,” Poole interrupted, his voice low and intently careful, “if no tape passed under the scanner? No tape—nothing at all. The photo-cell shining upward without impedance?”

The technicians glanced at each other. One said, “All the neuro circuits jump their gaps and short out.”

“Meaning what?” Poole said.

“Meaning it's the end of the mechanism.”

Poole said, “I've examined the circuit. It doesn't carry enough voltage to do that. Metal won't fuse under such slight loads of current, even if the terminals are touching. We're talking about a millionth of a watt along a cesium channel perhaps a sixteenth of an inch in length. Let's assume there are a billion possible combinations at one instant arising from the punch-outs on the tape. The total output isn't cumulative; the amount of current depends on what the battery details for that module, and it's not much. With all gates open and going.”

“Would we lie?” one of the technicians asked wearily.

“Why not?” Poole said. “Here I have an opportunity to experience everything. Simultaneously. To know the universe and its entirety, to be momentarily in contact with all reality. Something that no human can do. A symphonic score entering my brain outside of time, all notes, all instruments sounding at once. And all symphonies. Do you see?”

“It'll burn you out,” both technicians said, together.

“I don't think so,” Poole said.

Sarah said, “Would you like a cup of coffee, Mr. Poole?”

“Yes,” he said; he lowered his legs, pressed his cold feet against the floor, shuddered. He then stood up. His body ached. They had me lying all night on the couch, he realized. All things considered, they could have done better than that.