Selfish Elf Wish (35 page)

Timber pulls the guitar over his head and sets it aside. “Because it sucked?” he asks, his eyes squinched up like he’s about to be punched.

“No!” I fly to him. I spread my arms and catch him in my embrace. “I loved it.”

He holds me close. “Sometimes I feel like I can’t explain what’s going on inside of me.”

I nod, my heart racing, because the truth is, there’s more inside of Timber than he could ever imagine. He has no idea what courses through his blood. The mark my grandmother can see. What happened in the woods in Alverland. And I can never tell.

“But when I sat down to write that song,” he says, “I could say everything I wanted about you.”

I pull back to look into his eyes, those crazy gray-blue wolf eyes. “That’s what music should be about,” I say. “People think it should be about fame or money or being the best or getting the lead in a musical, but it’s not, you know?”

Timber nods. “It’s about expressing what’s deep inside.”

I let go of him but keep my eyes on his. “I see what’s inside of you.” I press my hand against his heart. “It’s fierce and beautiful and when you need it most, what’s in your heart will save you.”

He covers my hand with his and smiles at me. “Thank you,” he says.

I realize then that what’s in my heart is more simple than I used to think. I don’t have to be the best singer or have Timber so madly in love with me that he can’t think straight. I don’t have to win every audition or continually worry about Bella or keep tabs on my cousin Briar. As long as my family is safe, we don’t have to be together all the time. My grandmother and Willow are still with me, even if they’re in Alverland. Dad and Grove can come and go. Thinking I have to have everything all to myself all the time is selfish, and in the end, it doesn’t get me what I truly want.

We sit together, underneath the starless sky, his hands on my waist, my arms around his neck. As I’m next to him, the feelings I had when I danced for him come rushing back to me. The world swirls and everything is reduced to just Timber and me. I feel my heart swell with feelings for him. No matter how much I miss Alverland or how worried I am about the dark elves going after Willow, I am glad to be back in Brooklyn. Selfish or not, this is where my life is right now.

Timber pulls me closer. I shut my eyes and lean my head to the left. Even though we kissed a hundred times when he was under my spell, this feels like the first time ever. My lips meet his and fireworks explode. Above us, the sky erupts into shooting stars, red fountains, and blue rockets.

“Happy New Year!” Timber says.

Just as I’m about to pull Timber in for another kiss, the back door opens. My brothers and sisters come clattering out into the garden with my mom and dad right behind them.

“Look at them!” Poppy shouts, pointing to the sky.

“Fireworks!” Bramble yells.

“Happy New Year,” Mom calls to all of us.

They surround us, jumping and screaming for joy. We’re caught in the tangle of arms and legs and voices all talking at once, but I don’t mind because what I want most in life is right here, right now. I’m happy.