Authors: Theresa Smith
Tags: #romance, #love, #drama, #mystery, #family, #law, #orphan, #domestic violence, #amputation, #tension
"What was that for?"
She looked down at him happily, resting her
forehead against his. "You came out to my dad."
He laughed then. "Yeah. Only so I can pinch
your arse in front of everyone at school tomorrow and give you a
very obvious tongue kiss when you spin around to tell me off. I
have a rumour to debunk and short of wearing a t-shirt that says:
'I'm not a fag', this was the best I could come up with."
Charlotte laughed at that. "Well, that
should do it." She pressed her lips to his, kissing him slowly,
drawing his bottom lip into her mouth before pulling back. "I went
to talk to my dad about us because I didn't want to have to keep us
a secret anymore and he let me talk away and only told me at the
end that you'd already been to see him so he already knew
everything I was going on about before I even went on about it."
She shook her head, running her hand through Toby's hair. "Why did
you do that?"
He looked at her, his eyes serious, his hand
coming up to cup her cheek. "Because I am in love with you."
She melted, her body now boneless on top of
his, her pounding heart a sharp contrast to the liquefied nature of
the rest of her form. "He told me you said that. It's a pretty
impressive thing, telling a girl's father you love her. Before you
even tell her."
"I didn't know it before. Otherwise I might
have already said it to you."
"So, you only love me now because we had
sex?" She was only half teasing, a part of her holding still in the
hope he would protest that wasn't the case.
"Charlotte, I don't love you because we had
sex this afternoon. Although, I did know that I loved you while we
were having sex, but it seemed really lame to say it then. So I
didn't say it and I haven't seen you alone since then to say
anything."
"Did something happen then, before we had
sex, to make you realise that you loved me?"
He smiled then, kissing her lightly on her
collarbone. "Yes. You sat in the stand all afternoon and watched me
play football. And you never stopped looking at me. Each time I
looked at you, you were already looking at me. And I thought to
myself, that girl, she's mine. She has eyes only for me. The most
beautiful girl on the stands, and she's all mine. And then I knew.
That I love you. And then I got tackled to the ground and figured
it was time to get my head back in the game, otherwise I'd look
like a loser in front of the girl I love." He pressed his lips to
her collarbone again before reaching up to move the neckline of her
shirt aside, exposing her shoulder and the bite mark he had given
her. He flinched, leaning forward to kiss it, delicately pressing
his lips to the inflamed skin, over and over.
Charlotte kissed him on the cheek, working
her way across his face until she reached the corner of his mouth,
drawing his lips away from her shoulder so she could touch them to
her own. They kissed for a long time, slowly, with a tenderness
that was new to both of them.
"Toby," she whispered.
He put his finger to her lips. "You don't
have to say it just because I did."
She shook her head. "I'm not. I was just
going to tell you that I think that's one of the most romantic
declarations I've ever come across."
"Well, that's kind of impressive given how
many books you've read on the topic. I wasn't too sure if I could
beat the guy shagging his sister in the attic, or the creeper
lusting after his niece, or the newly released sex slave, but I did
try my best."
Charlotte pressed her face into his chest,
her laughter mixing with his. "Well, those are all very hard to
meet standards," she replied with jest.
"You know, I have to reject you tonight
because your dad said if he found out I was having sex with you
without a condom he would castrate me. I think he's taken Jenna's
situation to heart. So, since I have no condoms, you and I are just
cuddling. I am in no way convinced he was anything other than
serious. I may love you, but not that much." Toby wrapped his arms
around Charlotte tighter, as if to prove his point.
"Given what's happened with Jenna, I suppose
we should consider ourselves lucky we didn't get a ban on anything
other than hand holding. Anyway, I have condoms, so it's all
good."
Toby released her as she squirmed beneath
him. "You do?"
"Yes." Charlotte was triumphant. "Jenna gave
me heaps ages ago."
"Perhaps she should have kept them for
herself," Toby pointed out, with no small measure of sarcasm.
"Toby," Charlotte admonished.
"Sorry. But seriously."
"Dermott led her on. He gave her an
impression of their future together that wasn't true." Charlotte
stood and raced to her wardrobe. She ducked her head into the
depths and crawled halfway in, rummaging around noisily and cursing
as something tumbled down on top of her.
"Where did you put them?"
"Where no mother shall ever go." Rising to
her feet, she turned to face him, and holding her hand up, she
produced a strip of condoms with glee. As she jumped onto the bed,
Toby reached out and grabbed them from her, reading the packets.
"These are flavoured with Bailey's?"
Charlotte nodded as Toby looked at her
dubiously. She rolled her eyes at him then and ripped one out of
his hand. "Do I have to teach you everything?" Leaning forward, she
pressed her lips to his. Smiling against his mouth, she pulled back
ever so slightly, a wicked gleam in her eyes. "Check the packet for
alcohol content. I might get drunk sucking you off and then you can
take advantage of me while I'm too wiped out to protest."
Toby burst out with laughter, grabbing her
by the shoulders and pinning her beneath him. "As if I'd have to
take advantage of you! But don't let me stop you from seeing how
many condoms it takes to get you buzzed." He buried his face into
her hair, nibbling at her neck, his breath tickling her.
Charlotte melted beneath him, wanting so
much to say the words to him that he had said to her, to tell him
how she felt, but they lodged in her throat and the moment seemed
gone, filled with laughter and dirty jokes about flavoured condoms.
But she felt it; she felt it for him so deeply, that she wondered
if she would even be able to articulate the depth of it into
words.
Toby didn't get as far as pinching Charlotte
on the arse, all it took was turning up at the front of the school
with her hand tucked into his to get the comments flowing. Ellie
shot Charlotte the middle finger, but she was smiling nonetheless
as she strolled up to them.
"Nice one, Charlotte. You might have just
said something. I never would have gone on about him if I knew he
was with you."
Charlotte shrugged. "I couldn't. Long story,
I'll talk to you later. How was number seven?"
"A limp dick. Not such a long story, but
I'll still tell you later." Ellie laughed as Toby looked over at
her with a pained expression.
"I really don't want to hear things like
that." His anguish was in no way put on.
Charlotte laughed along with Ellie, standing
on her tiptoes to kiss him on the cheek. He pulled her closer,
relishing the opportunity to be openly affectionate towards
her.
"Holy shit!" Damian, an occasional friend of
Toby's, sauntered over, a wide grin fixed to his face. "Hope you
wore a condom, that's a well-travelled road my friend."
Before anyone could even register the move,
Toby had dropped Charlotte's hand, thrown his bag onto the ground,
and punched the guy in the face so hard a spray of crimson hit the
front of Toby's shirt. Damian screamed once before launching
himself at Toby, enraged, despite being considerably shorter and
far less built in comparison. He managed to hit Toby once, a sloppy
punch to the side of his head, but Toby was well practiced at
warding off punches. He barely registered the feel of his fist
against the other guy's body, could see no one else around him,
could hear no sounds other than that of his own blood pounding in
his ears, a steady rush of adrenalin fuelling his anger.
Reality returned as arms took hold of his on
both sides. The first thing he noticed was the heavy smell of
blood, such a familiar smell, yet this time it was coating his own
hands, splattered upon his own shirt, and he took in the sight
before him with a sort of detached horror, a disconnection from
reality. Toby had never hit another person in his life; had always
resisted the urge to act on any angry impulse. Even in football he
hesitated to inflict too much physical force, his fear of turning
out like his father so deeply entrenched. This guy lying on the
ground in front of him was a friend of his, and he had not only hit
him once and then defended himself from a return hit, he had taken
it to the next level and proceeded to turn his friend into a
bloody, writhing mess on the ground. What scared him the most, was
that he had no real solid memory of the encounter, despite it
having happened only mere minutes ago.
A rush of sickness moved through him as he
broke away from those who were still holding him back, turning
rapidly to stumble a few paces away, vomit flying out of him. Toby
heaved repeatedly, a cold sweat spreading over his body. He was
dimly aware of movement and voices surrounding him, but he could
not stop heaving, could not even take a breath without feeling
overcome again. He stepped away from the mess on the street and
sank to the curb, sitting with his head between his legs, breathing
heavily.
He felt a hand touch him lightly on the
shoulder. Charlotte. She held his bag in front of her. He kept his
eyes on the ground, trying to calm himself. His body felt like it
had been electrocuted, shaking and wired with a deep feeling of
fatigue all at the same time. Jake, who was the closest thing he
had to a best mate, crouched in front of him, his face lined with
worry.
"What the fuck, dude? He picked the wrong
thing to say to you today. Are you alright?"
Toby gave him a nod. "Is he going to be
okay? Where is he?"
Jake shrugged. "He'll live. More mess than
damage I think, that happens with the face." He chuckled, shaking
his head. "I don't think anyone will ever say a thing about
Charlotte ever again. Fuck."
Toby made no reply. Charlotte's hand was
still resting on his shoulder; he reached up to take a hold of it
but stopped short when he saw the blood again, still damp and
sticky, clinging to him. He dropped his hand and stood up, reaching
down to take his bag from her instead. "I need to go home and clean
up. Can you find out later if he's alright for me?"
Jake nodded. "Yeah, dude, whatever. What do
you care anyway? He's a jerk."
"He didn't deserve what I did."
Jake flicked his eyes to Charlotte,
connecting with hers briefly, an exchange passing between them that
Toby was too weary to decipher. Returning his gaze back to Toby he
nodded again. "Yeah. I'll catch up with you about that later. Are
you alright though?" He indicated the puddle of vomit with a jerk
of his head.
Toby nodded. "Forget that. I'm going home."
He swung his bag up onto his shoulder and started to walk away. He
heard Jake speak again, this time to Charlotte, who Toby had so far
avoided looking at. Still, he stopped and waited, listening to what
Jake was saying to her.
"Charlotte, you go with him."
"Shut up. I was."
"You take care of him and I'll take care of
everything here. Go."
Toby began walking again, not waiting for
Charlotte to catch up to him. She wasn't having any of him ignoring
her though and she caught up to him within moments, matching his
brisk pace. Surprisingly, she didn't say anything, which was odd,
because Charlotte was not known for lengthy silences. She either
had nothing to say, or she had plenty to say but was too afraid of
him to say any of it. Neither option was a good one.
He went directly to the bathroom upon
arriving home, stripping down and getting straight into the shower,
the blast of cold water a welcome shock to his senses. He stood
there, his arms braced against the wall, the spray hitting him on
the back of his neck as it slowly heated through the water pipes.
This is how it happens. This is how it starts. One hit, one
comment, and he was reduced to madness, a carbon copy of his father
in more than just appearance. He heard Charlotte come into the
bathroom, glanced out from under his arm to see her scooping his
clothes up from the floor.
"I'll put them in a bucket to try and soak
the blood off."
He nodded. "Thanks." His voice sounded
rough, his throat dry from heaving. "I'm sorry."
"What for?"
"For completely losing it like that." He
reached down and backed the hot water off, the temperature of the
shower now heated to scalding.
Charlotte looked over at him, her face full
of sadness. "Is that what you think you did? Completely lost
control?"
"Charlotte, I know that's what I did. I
wasn't even there anymore, I wouldn't have stopped if I hadn't been
pulled off of him. Don't you see what I am? What I'm capable of? I
don't want to be like this but it's inside of me and I have no
control over it." He curled his fist and hit himself in the chest,
the blow not even touching the edges of his inner pain. "It
terrifies me. I'm so afraid Charlotte; I'm so afraid of what I
might become." He sunk to the floor of the shower and covered his
face, his humiliation complete. "Go away. Please, just leave me for
a while."
"Why?"
"Because I don't want you to see me like
this!" He didn't mean to yell at her, but he was overwrought, and
desperate to just be alone.
"Like what?" As was her way, she pressed at
him, needling, getting in under his skin. "Like a human being who
feels remorse for what he's done? Who regrets hurting another
person even though that person had it coming? Toby, Damian is a
disgusting creep. Last year, before you even moved here, he tried
to get me to have sex with him at a party and when I said no, he
spat in my face and pinched my nipple through my shirt so hard he
tore the skin. It took ages to heal. Ellie told me that he once
held her down and forced his dick into her mouth and when she bit
him, he hit her so hard he split her lip. You're better than him.
You think if he was bigger than what he is and more able to hold
his own that he wouldn't have had a go at beating the shit out of
you? You weren't standing where I was during that fight, seeing
what I could see. He tried to bite you and that was when Jake got
involved and the others followed his lead. He's a dirty person who
calls girls sluts if they don't give him what he wants and he's not
worth your remorse."