Semi Precious Weapons (7 page)

Jason scanned Chris's face. "Why are you crying?"

"Because you're hurt, and I did it. It's my fault, and I'm not sure how to fix it." Chris expected to see suspicion on Jason's face. Instead, the blond bit his bottom lip.

"Do you love me?" Jason wore a look of open need.

Now was the time for honesty, for opening up. Maybe it was soon to admit this, but he had been waiting weeks to hold Jason again. Now that he was here, Chris needed to put everything on the table. "I think I do. I mean, I haven't really cared about anyone before. I care about how you feel."

Jason's brows furrowed.

Worrying that Jason found this admission odd -- after all, only psychos never cared about anyone -- Jason tried to salvage his speech. This was important and he didn't want to further screw up this relationship. "Not that I'm a sociopath or anything. I'm trying to say I've had sex with lots of other guys and..."

Jason cocked his head.

Chris wanted to bang his head against the wall. Now he sounded promiscuous. "Not that I'm a slut. I mean, not tons of guys, but a few. Like... an age-appropriate amount..."

Jason frowned.

Chris winced. Right. Jason had been a virgin and they were the same age. No wonder Chris had never had a real relationship before, he was horrible at these declarations of love. "Look, none of this is the point. The point is, I love you. I'm pretty sure I'm in love with you or I wouldn't be babbling like an idiot. You can accept that or keep picking apart my words, but I'm not going away. You think I was a bad stalker before, now I know where you live."

Jason rolled his eyes. "Nothing warms a man's heart quite like the threat of future stalking."

"Do you believe me?"

Much to Chris's relief, Jason was grinning. Wryly, but grinning. "Oh yes. You've been stalking me for weeks. I had the feeling you were just warming up."

Since Jason's grin had widened, Chris leaned in to playfully bite his nose. "You know what I mean."

"Great, a stalker
and
a cannibal. I sure can pick them."

Before Chris could retort, Jason kissed him deeply. Their lips parted and the brush of his tongue, the warmth of his mouth, reassured him. Chris traced the familiar ridges of Jason's teeth, moaning into his mouth when Jason threw a leg over his hips.

Thrilled he'd broken through Jason's armor enough to touch him, he traced his fingers along Jason's smooth thigh. Jason shifted his hips forward, pulling Chris closer. On the next pass, Chris dragged his nails down the skin. Jason rolled them over, pulling Chris on top.

"I didn't sleep the rest of the night," Jason whispered, looking into Chris's eyes. "That night, you know? I couldn't sleep. Not only because I was achy. I kept thinking I'd finally found someone. I thought we'd be together forever. I wanted you to know what you meant to me. I wanted you to know... I don't know. It was stupid. I was high and sleep-deprived."

Chris shook his head. "I felt it too, but things that perfect don't happen to guys like me. I wanted to believe I was special to you, but it was so fast that I couldn't be sure, and I didn't want to get humiliated if I was wrong. I was scared."

Jason looked skeptical.

"I can't promise I'm always logical. Even if you don't believe me, I realized my mistake and tried to find a way to make things right between us."

"I thought I must be really unworthy to deserve what you said to me."

"You didn't deserve it, Jason, I..."

Jason laid his hand over Chris's mouth. "So I found a job and a home, determined to make myself better. I wanted to be worthy of someone. I wanted to feel what I felt for you again."

Chris kissed his palm.

After a moment, Jason moved his hand. "I went on a couple of dates."

Chris inhaled sharply, trying to control his jealousy. It was his own fault, but that knowledge did nothing to quell his fear.

Jason must've seen it. He averted his eyes. "I fucked one of them."

Gritting his teeth, the best Chris could manage was a tight, "That's your right." He reminded himself there weren't any other names tattooed on Jason's body.

"It wasn't the same as being with you. It wasn't as fun. I didn't feel anything for them."

Chris nodded, trying not to wonder if he'd topped or bottomed, wondering what he'd do if Jason preferred to top. He licked his lips, trying to keep his jaw from tightening again. "Being with you was better than it's ever been with anyone else."

"I didn't like it with him at all. He looked a bit like you. I met him at the coffee shop..."

Chris held up a hand. "Please, Jason. I can't hear any more."

Jason's cheeks colored. "Anyway, the point is, it proved to me that I still had feelings for you."

Chris kissed him again, letting those final words overwhelm the rest, melting into Jason and forgetting the past few weeks had happened. Maybe sleeping with someone else had to happen for Jason to give this another try.

Jason had taken the hasty words of their original fight to heart; he'd changed his lifestyle. Even if he'd dated others, he'd done so trying to replicate what they had.

When looked at everything that way, didn't seem as insurmountable.

Chris held Jason's face as they kissed, losing himself in his growing arousal. Jason hooked his legs around Chris's waist, opening to him.

Chris's concern over waiting until their relationship stabilized was overwhelmed by the need for a deeper connection. He wanted to be inside Jason, wanted the reassurance of Jason's body. Chris reached for the lube and spread it thickly over his fingers before slipping his hand between them and sliding his index finger into Jason. The taut muscles relaxed as Jason exhaled; he wanted this connection as much as Chris did.

The second finger was more difficult to work inside, but Chris took his time, curling his index finger and rubbing Jason's prostate. Jason moaned loudly, obviously enjoying the touches more as the need to focus on opening up lessened.

Chris fingered him for a while, pausing between kisses to watch Jason's face, admiring the way his brows furrowed and mouth opened as Chris manipulated his fingers inside of him. In the soft light, perspiration made Jason's skin glow. Chris grabbed a corner of the duvet to wipe away the sweat and the last of Jason's make-up. As glamorous as he looked before, now he was an angel.

Satisfied, Chris freed his fingers and unrolled a condom onto his dick. Jason watched Chris slather it with lubricant, his graceful neck turned awkwardly. Chris tried to make a show of it, and Jason smiled in the soft, lusty way he did when aroused.

Jason's cock twitched where it lay long and proud against his abdomen. He lay back on the bed, legs spread and his knees up, presenting his beautiful hole.

Chris urged Jason's hips up to settle a pillow under them. He wanted what they were about to do to be perfect. Leaning down, he kissed the tip of Jason's cock, tasting the salt of
precum
as he spread it down the shaft with his tongue.

Shifting his hips restlessly, Jason whimpered, "I want to touch you."

Chris gave Jason's cock another wet kiss and then complied, sitting up so that Jason could touch whatever he wanted. Jason's fingers caressing before he fisted it.

Jason must have been eager to have Chris inside of him, because Jason managed to wedge the head of Chris's cock inside before he had properly found his balance. Quickly catching himself on his hands, Chris thrust his hips forward and grabbed Jason's cock, his other hand fondling his balls, moving them to see his shiny, latex-covered cock sliding into Jason's stretched hole.

The sight made him feel like he could come right there, but Chris didn't want this to be over so soon.

Chris propped himself on his elbow for leverage and thrust his hips. Jason's moan created a tremor through his body. Jason enveloped him, from the impossible squeeze of his muscled walls, to the lashing of his tongue, to the slick, hard angles of his thin body as it collided with Chris's.

Jason tightened his legs around Chris, drawing him closer and pushing against him as they fucked. This time instead of a virgin, Jason was a man who wanted Chris inside of him as much as Chris wanted to be there. Chris pulled Jason's cock in time with their thrusts, their teeth clashing in violent kisses as their bodies slammed together.

Chris tensed, knees grinding into the mattress as tried to keep up with Jason's demands. Jason's nails pricked Chris's back and dragged down his shoulders, leaving stinging welts. It felt Jason might swallow Chris whole, but Chris couldn’t imagine anything better than to be so lost in him there was no more room for misunderstandings.

Jason's insides clenched before his cum spilled over Chris's fingers, and he broke the kiss to pant for air. His blond hair matted against his flushed face as he half-buried in the pillow to muffle his groan as he came.

Chris burned the image in his mind before he closed his eyes, losing himself. The tightness in his body crested, the prickle of fluttering lightness buzzed around him until it gave way. Chris felt consumed by the waves relief, each one jolting through his body like an ebbing pulse.

He thrust erratically, the last of his orgasm giving way to breathless exhaustion that left him a mass of dead weight atop Jason.

Jason's arms and legs were still wrapped around him, but the tension vanished, enfolding Chris in damp warmth. Chris tucked his face into Jason's neck, his lips pressed to skin vibrating with Jason's rapid heartbeat.

As amazing as their first time had been, this time they'd connected. Fear and doubt had been exorcised. The men had fused -- not just their bodies, but also their souls.

The air cooled their sweat, chilling Chris. He remained inside Jason until his cock had abated and slipped out. Removing the condom, he dropped it beside the bed.

Without a word, Chris broke their embrace long enough to pull up the covers. Jason slipped in and Chris followed. They spooned again, this time with a relaxed ease. Still aching for connection, Chris pushed his fingers inside of Jason, and listened to him breathe until he fell asleep.

* * * *

Though Jason never officially invited him, Chris's belongings soon crowded the basement. Chris attended school the next semester and, after a couple years, graduated with honors. A software company quickly scooped him up, and the men were able to afford a real apartment in Manhattan.

Jason maintained his friendship with Joan, the stylist they'd met on their first date, and interned with her until his flair and reputation allowed him to open shop on his own. He got to work with his favorite designers, occasionally wearing samples when he went out with Chris, and was otherwise adored by the fashion world.

In other words: they remained fucking gorgeous and lived happily ever after.

The End