Semper Fidelis (20 page)

The medics were working on Kelley. They’d already administered an IV and they were looking at his leg wound. Jordan closed his eyes, relaxing for the first time in years. He was going home. Kelley moaned and Jordan sat up, his gaze on his lover’s face. Kelley didn’t wake up until they landed at Leatherneck. His eyebrows bunched up when he saw Jordan. Kelley tried to speak but the oxygen mask over his face prevented him from talking. He moved to push the mask away but the medics stopped him.

General Davis met their chopper and whisked Jordan away, promising that he’d see Kelley soon enough. Putting up a fight was useless. General Davis was a reasonable man but he wouldn’t stand for being disobeyed. After four hours of debriefings, he was allowed to go see Kelley. Because he’d been undercover for so long, he had a guide escort him around Leatherneck. He understood the General’s concern. All of the guys who knew him on sight would think he was an Afghani native and not allowed to walk at will around the camp.

When he stepped into the medical unit, emotions almost overcame him. Kelley had been injured by an IED, the exact device he’d been working to get rid of.

They led him into the recovery ward. Kelley had just come out of surgery and was still unconscious. The man on the gurney was a pale imitation of the Kelley he knew. The pallor in his face sent prickles of alarm running down his spine. Kelley looked smaller and younger, lying so still against a backdrop of IV tubing snaking across the thin pillows propping him up. His leg was elevated and the sheet had been pulled back, leaving the bandages and tubes exposed. To his untrained eye, it looked bad, but at least the leg appeared to be in one piece. That and the fact that Kelley was still alive, gave him hope. Jordan was allowed to sit by Kelley’s gurney as they waited for the drugs to wear off. Kelley was lucky and though the IED had blown up basically underneath him, he hadn’t lost any limbs, the MRAP having done its job, preventing the men from being terribly injured.

The doctor walked in and Jordan stood to attention. “Relax. Friend of yours?”

“Yes, sir.”

“He was lucky. The other guy injured in the explosion only has a concussion. Captain Kelley has a concussion too, but he’ll be okay.”

“That’s good to hear. Can I say hello to the other man injured?”

“Sure. He’s down the hall. The nurse can tell you where. I don’t think the captain will be awake for another thirty minutes and when he does wake, he’ll be confused.”

“Thank you, sir. I’ll go find the nurse.”

Jordan didn’t know the young man with the concussion but they talked for a while, Jordan thanking him for his service. The guy’s name was Josh Redmond and he really wanted to talk to his parents. Jordan found a nurse, begging her to take a phone in to Josh so he could call his mother.

Jordan sighed, his heart heavy. It had been years since he’d had any real contact with his own parents. The Marines had promised him that they would keep his parents informed of his health, letting them know if anything happened and occasionally confirming that he was still alive. He placed a call to General Davis, needing to know that his mom and dad knew he was fine.

When the line connected he spoke quickly. “General Davis, it’s Jordan Canfield. I need to know that my parents know I’m okay.”

“Captain, they have been kept informed of your health. We’ll clear you to make contact within a few days if you can hang on until then.”

“Yes, sir. Thank you. How much can I share with Kelley?”

“You can share the basics only—no specifics. We’re working on getting his clearance upgraded.”

What if he wants nothing to do with me?
Jordan swallowed his question, but the General appeared to read his mind.

“He’s a very smart man. When you disappeared, he started looking for you. You’re both Marines. He’ll either be able to read between the lines and understand that you were operating under orders, or he’s not the man either of us knows him to be.”

“Oh.” Jordan started to smile, his lips twitching as a calm happy feeling filled him. Kelley was smart, and sexy as hell. He would understand.

“I had to put a hard stop to his investigation but we’ll have to have his clearance upgraded based on what he figures out.”

“Thank you, sir. I look forward to working together with you in the future.”

“Marine, enjoy your time off. I hope you work it out with Kelley. Life is short.”

“Don’t I know it.” The line disconnected and Jordan headed to the recovery area where Kelley was. He could hear the man mumbling and moaning. It brought a smile to his lips and he went over quickly, relieved to see Kelley again.

“He hasn’t opened his eyes yet. Maybe you speaking to him will help,” the nurse said.

“Sure.” He stroked Kelley’s arm and sighed, hoping they could have something. He bent low, knowing that Kelley wouldn’t know him as Jordan and he didn’t need to let anyone else know him as Akim. “Kelley, I know this is confusing but it’s me. You need to wake up and we need to talk.”

Kelley’s eyes fluttered open but they shut again before he could say anything. Jordan held Kelley’s hand, stroking his fingers over his tanned skin. Finally, Kelley woke enough to mumble something that sounded half intelligent. The nurse came back to check on Kelley then left. Another five minutes passed with Kelley mumbling when it seemed like the lights finally came on and he opened his eyes, focusing on Jordan.

“What? When?” Kelley asked.

Jordan smiled down at his man and the nurse came over, her voice chipper as she asked questions.

“Hello, Captain. Glad to see you’re awake. So can you tell me your name?”

Kelley’s eyebrows bunched together as his gaze swung to the nurse. “Sean Kelley.”

“Good, at least your concussion isn’t too bad. You’ll need to stay off your leg for a bit. Call me if you need to use the bedpan. And it looks like you have a friend with you, so I’m going to take a few vitals and get out of your way.”

“What happened?” Kelley asked.

“IED,” the nurse piped up. “Glad you were in a safe vehicle. Some of the guys who are in Cougars aren’t so lucky.” The nurse took Kelley’s blood pressure and his gaze swung to Jordan’s, his eyes narrowed.

The nurse left the room and it was just the two of them. Jordan swallowed, hoping Kelley wouldn’t be too angry. “Hey, how are you feeling?”

“Confused as fuck.” Kelley looked a little angry and very baffled.

“Sorry about that.”

“You’re accent isn’t normal.”

Jordan stuck out his hand and Kelley took it. “Nice to meet you. I’m Captain Jordan Canfield. I grew up in Tennessee. My mother is full Pashtun. Her parents secreted her out of the country when she was fifteen—she and her parents were offered political asylum in the US. They didn’t want her married to the local crazy asshole who claimed her as his bride. She met my father when she was in college, an American. I grew up speaking Dari and Pashto. When I finished college, I approached the Marine recruiters. The next day I was whisked away to a secret location and some men had a very special assignment for me. I’m a Marine but I work in conjunction with more than one group. It’s an odd arrangement but I’ve been able to do things most can’t.”

“I’m confused,” Kelley mumbled.

“That’s okay, you’ll be debriefed soon and your clearance will be upgraded.”

Kelley shook his head then moaned. “Wait, you really are a Marine?”

“Yes, sir. Captain Jordan Canfield.”

Kelley closed his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose with his thumb and forefinger. The nurse came in and two other men were with her.

“Good news. You get to leave the recovery room and move to a private room. The doctor will be in to see you shortly. Have a nice stay.”

Jordan followed Kelley’s gurney and stayed in the room with him as the new nurse checked him out. This nurse was male and hot. Jealousy wove through Jordan as the nurse laid it on heavy, flirting with Kelley. He wanted to tell the guy to go to hell but he kept his mouth shut.

“Okay, sweetie, just push this button if you need me for anything.” The nurse sashayed out of the room.

Jordan stalked over and growled. “I thought I was going to have to toss him out.”

“Jealous?” Kelley chuckled.

“So sue me.” Jordan ran his hand through his hair, wondering if he’d be able to get a buzz cut. He’d been wearing it longer for the last few years and craved to have the traditional jarhead cut. “I’m sorry about the deception.”

“Can we talk openly in here?”

Jordan sat on the edge of Kelley’s bed, smoothing the sheets over his chest. “You’re in a room reserved for people with high clearance. They want to keep your secrets secret.”

Kelley chuckled then coughed. He closed his eyes and Jordan wondered if he’d fallen asleep. Then Kelley’s eyes opened and the hurt in the depths saddened him.

“Tell me, Akim, or whoever you are, why I shouldn’t be pissed as hell at you. I feel betrayed.”

“I’m sorry. Really. I wanted to tell you when we were kissing. It was the hardest thing I’ve done since taking this assignment.”

“How long?”

“I’ve lived in Afghanistan as a local for two years. Before then, I was a local in Iraq. That was difficult. This was easier.”

“What were you doing?”

Jordan shook his head and squeezed Kelley’s arm. “I can’t give you details, but I can tell you that because of what I did last month, someone big is being taken down right now. Of course it will never make the news. You’ll never hear about it—well, you might, but the average Marine will never know.”

“And you really couldn’t tell me?”

Jordan bent low and cupped Kelley’s cheek with his hand. “No, I had to keep it secret.” He brushed his lips over Kelley’s mouth, hoping this wouldn’t break them apart.

Kelley closed his eyes again and this time he did fall asleep. Jordan stayed in his room all night, sleeping in the chair beside the bed. When morning dawned, Kelley looked better but he was in more pain. He’d lacerated his calf muscle. It would take a few months of intense therapy for him to be back to normal, but he’d survive. His bones hadn’t been broken, though his tibia had been chipped. They were flying him home in a few hours and he’d spend the summer in San Diego, recovering at the Naval Hospital next to Balboa Park.

They were alone again and Jordan wondered if what they had could be salvaged. “Kelley, can I come see you in San Diego?”

Kelley turned his head away from Jordan, staring at the far wall. “I need…time…to adjust to what you told me,” he muttered, turning back, his eyes now hiding his thoughts from Jordan.

“Okay, just know this—” Jordan closed the distance between them so he was only inches away from Kelley, their gazes connected, and he stared at Kelley for a long moment. “What I feel for you is real. I know you thought I was someone else, but I was always me. When I made love to you, entering your body and possessing you, I wasn’t playing or pretending. Everything you felt and every emotion we shared was real.”

Kelley swallowed but didn’t say anything.

Jordan leaned closer and slid his lips slowly across Kelley’s. The kiss ended but he didn’t back away. “Remember that kiss. Once I get my leave, I’ll come find you. You get to make the decision if I can become a part of your life or not.”

Jordan walked away, afraid that he’d never see Kelley again and if he did, that Kelley wouldn’t want him.

Chapter Three

Kelley didn’t want to admit that he missed Jordan like crazy. Every time he closed his eyes, Jordan’s face was there. The man had sent him texts and emails every day, but still he didn’t know if he should accept Jordan back into his life at face value or ask him to walk, so he deleted them, unread. Every night he dreamed of Jordan, but the face he’d fallen in love with was Akim’s. Maybe Akim and Jordan were the same man, but maybe he’d fallen so fast and hard because he knew he could never have Akim—that he was safe—a beautiful fantasy that meant he wouldn’t have to face the reality of living life as a Marine with someone waiting at home for him or serving somewhere else in the world. Jordan was a stranger in every way that counted, and he had no idea which would be worse, seeing him again or walking away from him, forever.

Kelley’s leg was getting better and he decided to take a walk through Balboa Park. The physical therapist wanted him to build up to walking five miles, but the pain remained raw, gnawing at him with bone deep intensity after only a mile. He still used a cane, but he was almost ready to give that up, carrying it across his shoulders for most of the walk. He was doing that now, draping his arms over the ends, relaxing as he carefully strolled in the afternoon sunshine. The walkways were bordered with pink and white oleander bushes and spiky clumps of bird of paradise and he’d gone about a half mile when he heard someone call his name. He turned slowly to keep from falling. The man coming toward him was dressed in jeans and a white T-shirt stretching across a well-defined chest. Golden skin glowed in the soft afternoon light, his dark hair cut tight against the sides of his head, just a little longer on top. Kelley’s fingers itched to slide through it, to feel the softness. He’d been dreaming of that straight nose, those deep brown eyes, and lashes long enough to make any woman jealous. His heart soared at the sight of Akim—Jordan—and he knew right then he didn’t care which name he used or what nationality the man was. He more than wanted him—he needed him.

Had his leg been healed, he would have run to Jordan, but the pain proved too much so he stood still as Jordan made his way over. He stopped about three feet away, pausing as Kelley glanced down Jordan’s lithe body, lingering over the bulge at the front of his pants before traveling back up to stare into the dark gaze that drove him crazy with want.

“Hi, Kelley. You know, you never told me your given name. I first heard it when you were in the hospital but I don’t know what you want me to call you.”

“Call me Sean. Everyone at work calls me Kelley.”

“I like that. Sean.” Jordan took another step toward him and smiled. “I like a lot of things about you.”

“Like what?” Kelley held his breath, hoping they could have a future.