Separation Anxiety (15 page)

I glanced over at him, and his face was a mix of trepidation and anxiety.

“Are you sure you want to bring me?”

He nodded. “Positive.”

“It isn’t too soon?”

“V, I don’t think you have any idea how long I’ve wanted this to happen.”

“Then why don’t you tell me?” I suggested, thinking again about his talent for deflecting the conversation from himself.

“You ready for a little
story?”

I giggled. Story time from Jesse Drake? Yes, please.

“So I was a young man of twenty-five, working at Central Valley High School for three years. It was the beginning of a brand new school year, and I had been asked to present scheduling information to the new teachers. I was setting up my presentation when this woman walked in, and it was like I had been punched in the stomach. She took my breath away and she was a breath of fresh air all at the same time. I thoroughly enjoyed my single life, but one look at this woman told me that maybe there was more out there than the string of meaningless relationships I’d had.”

I stopped swinging, shocked at his revelation. He stopped, too, and we sat on the swings gazing at each other. He glanced away first, and I
reached over for his hand.

He didn’t look at me as he continued. “And then I missed my chance. Quinn introduced you to Richard, and you know where things went from there.”

“How come you never said anything to me?” I asked.

His eyes found mine again, and he thought for a moment before he spoke. “Because you were happy,” he said, his voice quiet. “You were in a relationship. It wasn’t my place to tell you that he was all wrong for you.”

I felt hot tears prickling behind my eyes. “You knew all along?”

He nodded. “I wanted to be the one for you, V,” he whispered. “I knew Richard would never be good enough for you. I don’t know if I’m good enough, either, but I’m sure as hell going to try.”

I stood up from my swing and walked in front of him. I straddled him, wrapping my arms around his neck. He pulled me close with his hands on my back as the swing moved gently under our combined weight.

My lips found his. I couldn’t believe the words out of his mouth. I couldn’t fathom that he’d had feelings for me since the moment
he had first spotted me.

I had wasted so much time with the wrong man, but now I was going to
set things right.

His sweet, warm tongue parted my lips as his hands moved up my back and into my hair. Something about his hand holding
the back of my head was so fucking sexy that I could hardly handle the lust rocketing through me. I moaned into him, and he arched his hips up into me, causing the swing to sway under us. Our tongues moved more aggressively against each other as I felt the ache begin to throb between my legs.

I wanted Jesse Drake.

Badly.

More than I had ever wanted any man before him.

On the one hand, I had Jesse telling me that he didn’t fuck married women. And on the other hand, I had my goddamn ethics preventing me from giving into what I wanted most in the entire world.

And as we swung together and our kiss turned from
fiery and aggressive into a slower dance, I started to seriously question everything.

If he was this good at kissing me, I couldn’t imagine what kind of god he was in bed.
I wanted to know. I needed to know.

And the sooner, the better.

He pulled away from me and leaned back slightly in the swing, gazing up at the sky.

“We have to stop,” he said, panting.

“I know,” I said, and then, just for good measure, I pressed my hips down into his.

“Fuck,” he moaned, drawing out the word.
“You’re killing me.”

I grinned, loving the effect I was having on him after his confession.
I brought my fingertips to his cheeks and stroked his gorgeous stubble. I held my hands still on his face. “I have a confession to make, too,” I said bravely.

He looked at me, brows raised.

“I had the hugest crush on you for the past five years.” I was thankful for the dark night since I literally felt the blush stretch across my cheeks.

A slow grin spread across his lips, and his whole face lit up even in the dark when it reached his eyes.
“You did?”

I nodded.

“How come you never said anything to me?” he echoed my earlier question.

“Because I was the new teacher who didn’t think it would be a good idea to get involved with a coworker. Besides, you’re way out of my league.”

He chuckled. “You may be clinically insane if you believe that.”

I laughed.

He shook his head. “It boggles my mind that you really have no idea how perfect you are.”

I shrugged.

“And after that view you gave me yesterday…” he trailed off, and he nipped my nose with his lips. “I’m even more convinced that you’re perfect.”

I still wasn’t sure how he knew just exactly what I needed to hear, but he was certainly an expert at it. I think my panties melted right off of me with that line.

“I need to stand up and put some distance between us,” I said.

He grinned and held me tighter, pressing his hips up into me again. I knew he was hard, and now I knew for sure that he wanted me. I didn’t know what was so special about me, but he’d just admitted that one look at me had tamed Jesse Drake. And now, finally, after five years, we were going to get our chance.

I’d gone to the house I shared with Richard the next day and found the papers signed and dated on the counter, right where he said he’d leave them. I felt a rush of relief that he’d actually kept his word, particularly given the fact that he’d tried – albeit unsuccessfully – to tear Jesse from me. I drove straight to the courthouse to file the paperwork, knowing that in a few short months, it would all be over between Richard and me.

Each day only brought us closer together. We were both resisting the temptation, but it was becoming increasingly difficult.

Jesse continued the tradition of sleeping next to me in my bed. And now, he’d become comfortable enough to sleep next to me in just his boxer briefs.

He held me all night long, and every morning it became
harder and harder to force myself out of his arms.

The weekend came; Jesse
spent most of the day Saturday working on the end table. He stained it and was waiting on the pieces to dry to put the final product together, and I could already tell that it was going to be beautiful.

He
was called away to deal with Carly on Sunday afternoon again, and I wondered when he would tell me about her. I wondered when he would tell me about the tattoo and Allison, too, but I knew that these were things that were close to his heart, and he would tell me when he felt ready to.

Patience was most definitely
not
one of my virtues, but I was certainly putting my patience to the test. Between waiting for Jesse to confess everything, waiting to have sex with the sex god sharing my bed, waiting for the divorce to be finalized, and dealing with high school kids during the two weeks before spring break, my patience was most definitely being tried.

So while Jesse was out on Sunday, I decided to spend some time with my best friend. We met at Starbucks for our weekly gossip fest.

“You sent me a quick text on Wednesday, but you never said why you decided to stay with Dead-sexy Drake,” Quinn said after we both settled into a table with our drinks and some snacks.

“Richard was making threats and he scared me into leaving Jesse’s
place. But Jesse took care of everything.”

“What does that even mean?”
she asked, pulling the top of the muffin off and handing it to me.

“Richard said if I didn’t move out of Jesse’s, he’
d sue me for fault in the divorce.” I took a bite of my muffin top.

“He’s a fucktard. Arizona is a no f
ault state,” she said eloquently.

“How does everyone but me know this information?”

“Maybe you’re one, too.”

I giggled. “Thanks, Quinn.”

“Anytime. So how did Juicy Jesse save the day?”

“Juicy?”
I took a sip of my latte.

“It was the first adjective that came to mind that started with a J.”

“Well, I left Juicy Jesse’s and pulled around the corner and stopped for a minute because I was doing that ugly cry where your eyes almost close all the way, and I couldn’t see the road. I heard someone knock on the door and I still needed a minute to compose myself, but then he opened the door and pulled me out and kissed me.”

“Two comments on this story. First, holy
mother fucking hotness that he came after you.”

“Right?”
I grinned.

“And second, when were you going to tell me that JESSE
FUCKING DRAKE KISSED YOU?”

“Shh,” I scolded,
glancing around us while she laughed.

“Was it the hottest fucking kiss of your life?”

I sighed dreamily. “Yeah. He’s kind of an expert.”

“You have to tell me how he bangs.”

“You know I will.”

“HOLY SHIT! So you’re going to bang him?”

I laughed and nodded my head. “Once everything is final with Richard, yeah. I am most definitely going to bang him.”

She shook her head. “You’re so lucky.
He’s such a Mr. Yummypants.”

“
Yummypants?” I asked, arching an eyebrow.

“Yep. Yummypants,” she repeated, and I had to agree.

“Wait until you hear the best part.”

She raised her eyebrows.

“He told me he’s had feelings for me since the day he first saw me.”

“So sweet I might puke.”

“Be happy for me.”

“
I’m so happy for you, Veronica. I love you, and Jesse… he’s a fucking catch. You’ve been different – happier, lighter – since you left Dick, and I don’t know if it’s because you left him or if it’s because of Jesse.”

“Or a combination of both.”

“Regardless, you deserve it.”

I grinned and grabbed her hand across the table, giving it a squeeze. “Thanks, Curley Q,” I smiled, teasing her by calling her the goofy nickname her parents had called her since she was a baby.

“You’re welcome, Va-Va-Va-Voom,” she giggled, calling me by the nickname my younger brother had given me when he was little.

It felt good to chat with a friend who knew me so well, and
I was grateful for her friendship. I was starting to wonder how I had kept the fact that Richard and I were separated a secret for so long. Quinn really was a good friend, and I’d shut her and everyone else in my life out and chose to go through a difficult situation alone. If I’d only talked to someone sooner, maybe I could’ve gotten out of it sooner.

But ifs and buts got me nowhere. The way things had happened had fallen into place for a reason, and I was more convinced than ever that it was so that Je
sse and I could finally find our way to each other.

The week
passed quickly; I had signed up for prom committee, and prom was a couple of weeks after we got back from spring break, so we had a lot of planning to do.

Luck
y for me, one very sexy Mr. Jesse Drake was also on the prom committee. He was in charge of the senior class Student Council, and they were the class who planned prom.

Jesse made me his deputy, which meant that we had long nights of supervising while the students did most of the work. They made posters to advertise for the dance, they picked a theme, they chose decorations for the venue, they set playlists, they made party favors and centerpieces. We oversaw the process, but really, we spent most of our time with our heads bent together close in conversation while the kids worked.

I wondered what high school Jesse was like, what it would’ve been like to be his date to the prom. He showed me a picture of himself that his prom date from his junior year had uploaded to Facebook for a Throwback Thursday photo. He definitely would’ve been the kid I had a crush on back in high school. He was attractive even then; he looked like the kind of kid who had never gone through that awkward gawky phase, something I most definitely went through my freshman year of high school. But his eyes had that haunted look that I became familiar with whenever he came home after he’d gotten a call from Carly. He was smiling in his prom picture, but it looked forced, and I could see an air of brooding about him. I wondered what sort of event happened that could cause such grief in a teenager.

Finally
Friday afternoon arrived. We had a happy hour to attend first, and then Jesse and I were going to spend the night packing so we could leave early the next morning. His parents, I’d discovered, lived in Santa Monica, California. So that meant we were heading to the beach for our two week long spring break. I didn’t care that March meant it would be far too cold to swim in the ocean. I’d have Jesse Drake to warm me up.