Set the Night on Fire (19 page)

Ten minutes later, yet another doctor walked into the curtained cubicle. Alix didn’t bother to check his name tag. “Sorry for the wait. It’s been pretty busy around here.” He looked at Billy’s chart and frowned. “Looks like he’s been diagnosed with bronchitis.”

Alix ran her hand through her hair. She was losing it. “He was coughing up blood.”

“But not that much.”

“How much is too much?”

The doctor shot her a patronizing look. “Let’s start with antibiotics. If it doesn’t go away in another week, he should be seen again.”

She tried once more, “You were supposed to give him an X-ray.”

Billy piped up. “I want to go home.”

The doctor looked at his watch. “The technician’s off. If you want an X-ray, you’ll have to wait at least two hours for the next shift.”

Alix covered her eyes for a moment, then dropped her hand. “Okay, I give up.”

Billy smiled for the first time that night.

B
y the time Alix woke up, late afternoon sun was sneaking in around the edges of the shades. She and Billy were alone. She woke him, then scrambled some eggs. After making sure he ate and took his pills, she fell asleep again.

She didn’t see the others until that night when Rain and Dar came back from the SDS convention and Casey got home from work.

“Where are Payton and Teddy?” Alix asked.

“Don’t know,” Rain said. Her ashy hair shimmered in the light, and her eyes were shining. “You should have been there, Alix.”

“What happened?”

Rain made herself comfortable on the sofa. “Well, you remember how huge it was, right?”

“The Coliseum.”

“Right. Well, picture a ring of tables around the perimeter for groups like the Young Socialists, Marxists, even Maoists. All of them piled with flyers and literature and other crap. People milling around, connecting, making plans.” Rain chuckled. “It reminded me of Maxwell Street in a way. Then they called the meeting to order. Which was when the fireworks started.”

“What fireworks?” Casey asked.

“You haven’t heard?” Rain looked incredulous. She wriggled further down on the couch. “Well, they passed out this essay that originally was printed in
New Left Notes
, the SDS newsletter. It was written by the ‘action faction,’ and it was a call for direct action.”

“Isn’t that what Payton keeps yammering about?” Alix said.

“Right. So it ends with this quote from Dylan. ‘You don’t need a weatherman to know which way the wind is blowing.’”

“
Subterranean Homesick Blues
,” Casey offered.

Rain nodded. “Turns out the people behind it are Mark Rudd and Bernadine Dohrn, among others—they’re leaders of one of the factions.”

“The RYM . . . you know—the Revolutionary Youth Movement,” Casey said, sounding impatient, “the one Payton’s involved with. So?”

Rain was taking her time. “I’m getting there.” She glanced at Dar. “See, there’s this other faction . . . the Progressive Labor Party. Basically, they’re Marxists who see the revolution as class war. They want blue-collar workers to get involved.”

“You predicted that, didn’t you?” Alix asked Dar.

Dar shrugged.

“Well,” Rain said tartly, “then the Panthers came into the convention and trashed the PLP.”

The door to the apartment opened, and Teddy came in.

“Hey, man,” Casey said. “What’s happening?”

Teddy looked at each of them in turn. For some reason, Alix thought he looked nervous. Then he took a breath and shook his head. “Not much.”

“I was just telling them what happened at the convention,” Rain said.

“Oh . . . right.”

“Where have you been?” she asked.

“Took a while to get out of there.”

“Where’s Payton?”

“Don’t know.”

“Sit down, Teddy.” Alix waved a hand. “Rain was just telling us what happened when the Panthers came in.”

Teddy sat. Rain picked up her story, “So, the Panthers start lecturing. Telling everyone they don’t know what they’re doing. One of them called the PLP counter-revolutionaries. Then he started calling women cunts. He even started threatening the PLP members.”

“You’re kidding!”

“It got heavy.” She glanced at Teddy, then Dar. “The Panther leader started in and said they were black, we were white, and they would never authorize us to speak for them. Meanwhile, there were all these huge, armed guards everywhere.” Rain paused dramatically. “Everything went up for grabs after that. People started shouting at the Panthers and each other. No one was listening to anyone. Some people were yelling: ‘Power to the People!’; others ‘Fight Male Chauvinism’; still others ‘Ho Ho Ho Chi Minh/NLF is Going to Win!’ She looked at Casey. “Someone even shouted ‘Let's Go Mets!’”

Casey laughed. Teddy didn’t crack a smile.

“It was crazy. Then Bernadine Dohrn walked out with a bunch of people, including Payton.” Rain looked around. “She said the convention was over. That the RYM was withdrawing from SDS and starting a new movement. They’re calling themselves the Weathermen—you know, for the Dylan song—and they’re taking over the Chicago SDS office. The other faction—the student workers—are going back to Boston.”

“That is heavy,” Casey said. He turned to Dar. “What about you, Dar? Where are you with all this?”

“Nowhere.” He raised his hands, palms out. “Things have changed. New leaders, new strategies, new tactics. We’ve created a Hydra, and each of the heads wants what they want. But I’m done. A lot of people I know are out too.”

“Not Payton,” Teddy said. “He’s really wired into things.”

Everyone looked at Teddy. A flush crept up his neck. “Well, someone has to keep the faith.”

“Well, I guess we know which group you’re going with,” Casey quipped.

Teddy shrugged.

Alix got up and went into the kitchen. Dar followed her. “Is it true, Dar? Are you really finished with the Movement?”

He went to her. “The whole time I was at the Coliseum, all I could think about was you and Billy. Casey told me you went to the hospital. I should have been there.”

Alix told him about the ER: the wait; how the doctors didn’t know one patient from another; how they gave Billy antibiotics but never did a chest X-ray. Her eyes started to fill. “I can see why Billy hates doctors.” She shook her head. “If he doesn’t get better, I don’t know what we’ll do.”

Dar cupped her face in his hands. “We’ll get him the help he needs. Together.”

She allowed herself a weak smile.

B
obby, the owner of Up Against the Wall, lived above the shop in a small apartment and owned something they didn’t: a TV. Rain hadn’t watched in months and didn’t miss it, but today was an exception. This was the day the astronauts were supposed to land on the moon. She’d wheedled and pleaded with Bobby to have a ‘moon party’; eventually, he agreed. Casey brought food from the Moon Palace, which was only appropriate. Rain brought soda and wine. Teddy brought weed.

By afternoon all of them, except Payton, were on Bobby’s living room floor, watching a blurry, black-and-white telecast of what looked like two Michelin men hopping around a rocky terrain.

“This is FFO.” Casey’s eyes narrowed into slits. He’d already finished off a joint.

“Two hundred thousand miles far fucking out,” Bobby said in a gravelly voice.

Rain lowered her camera and squinted at the TV. She’d been snapping pictures of the telecast as well as shots of them watching it. “They look like they’re on pogo sticks.”

Dar laughed. Billy, who had come with them, did too. Despite the frustrations at Fullerton Hospital, the antibiotics seemed to have worked, and Billy’s cough had subsided.

Alix looked more carefree than she had in weeks. “It’s so amazing to see pictures . . . live . . . from the moon. How do they do that?”

“The miracle of progress.” Casey glanced at Teddy and Dar.

“Progress, eh?” Dar smiled at Casey. “Where’s Payton when we need him?”

Teddy frowned. “What?”

“Remember our discussion in Wisconsin about ‘progress’?” Casey said. “Payton tried to convince your father that progress wasn’t in the best interests of society.”

Teddy shook his wrist. His ID bracelet clinked as it settled. “Yeah, well, answer me this. How do we know it’s really happening?” He motioned toward the TV.

“Huh?” Casey asked.

“What if that’s just a Hollywood set we’re watching? A TV show they created to make us think they’re on the moon?”

“Why would anyone do that?” Alix asked.

“To divert attention from the war,” Teddy said.

“How do you figure?” Rain asked.

“The government doesn’t want us to question the war, so they create this TV show that purports to show astronauts landing on the moon. But in reality, it’s just a bunch of actors and props on some back lot in Hollywood. We don’t know that, of course, so we’re all excited about our ‘progress’ . . ., ” he said, glancing at Casey, “ . . . conveniently forgetting all the killing and bombing and repression.”

“You’re saying this is all just a big conspiracy?”

“It could be.”

Rain rolled her eyes. “You know what, Teddy? You’re right. In fact, I’ll bet the Kennedys produced it. You know, to take the pressure off your namesake and Mary Jo Kopechne.” The girl’s body had been discovered in the senator’s car near Chappaquiddick two days earlier.

Teddy nodded solemnly. “I was wondering about that myself.”

Rain stared. “Jesus, Teddy. You’re serious!”

He shrugged and pulled out a Marlboro. Rain watched him strike a match, light the cigarette, and take a drag.

She took a shot of him exhaling smoke. “You’re getting weird, you know?”

“You’ve been hanging out with the wrong people, Markham,” Casey added. “Your mind is turning to mush.”

Bobby reached for an egg roll, broke it in half, and popped one half in his mouth. “Do you think it’s gonna be the end of his career?”

“Kennedy’s?” Dar asked. “Don’t know. But I guarantee you won’t see him running for president.”

“That’s probably not a bad thing,” Casey said. “They say he’s the stupid brother.”

“Which is why he’ll survive in the Senate,” Dar said.

Teddy kept his mouth shut but jangled his bracelet.

A knock on Bobby’s door interrupted them. “Oh. I forgot to tell you. I invited a few other people.” He got up and went to the door.

“Linda and Donna?” Alix asked.

Bobby shook his head, but something in his expression made Rain’s antenna go on alert. Meanwhile, Bobby opened the door to a guy in a t-shirt, cut-offs, and sandals. Bobby introduced him, but Rain didn’t catch his name. He got a plate and loaded it with sweet and sour chicken, an egg roll, and rice. Rain waited for Bobby to settle back on the floor.

“So, Bobby,” Rain said. “How are Donna and Linda? Everything okay?”

This time the head shop owner’s face reddened, and he looked everywhere except at Rain.

“What happened? Did they break up?”

“Not exactly.”

Sensing a story, Rain leaned forward. “Well?”

“It’s . . . it’s complicated,” Bobby said. And looked at Billy.

Dar stood up. “Hey, Billy,” he said, “come into the kitchen with me. I need your help.”

“Wait. This is gonna be good,” Billy said.

“Billy . . .,” Dar’s voice was stern.

“You never let me hear the good stuff.” Everyone laughed, but Billy reluctantly got up and followed Dar out.

“So?” Rain asked when they’d gone.

“You know how Linda and Donna were . . . lovers, right?” Rain nodded. “Well, it wasn’t always that way.” Bobby grabbed his legs and rocked back on the floor. “See, Donna used to be Don.”

Rain gasped. Alix’s mouth opened.

“He was on his way to becoming a woman. Had the hormone shots. Started dressing and acting the part. The only thing left was the surgery.” Bobby hesitated. “But then he/she met Linda.”

“Oh, god!” Alix said. “Don’t tell me. He decided he’d rather be a man after all?”

“That’s right. They went someplace in California so Donna can turn back into Don.”

Now Rain’s mouth dropped open. For a moment neither she nor Alix spoke.

Alix recovered first. “Wait a minute. How does Linda feel about it? She’s the one who’s gay.”

“She’s okay with it.” Bobby flipped up a palm. “They’re in love.”

Rain covered her face with her hands and shook her head. Alix looked blank. Then a huge smile broke over her face, and she started to giggle. Rain started to laugh, too. Bobby glanced over, then joined in, too. Before long the three of them were roaring. Casey, Teddy, and Bobby’s friend offered polite smiles but mostly looked bewildered. Even Dar poked his head out from the kitchen.

“Everything okay?”

Alix was laughing too hard to speak, but Rain waved a hand to signal they were fine. “Help! I can’t breathe!”

“Me either,” Alix wheezed.

Billy appeared briefly, threw them a scowl, then returned to the kitchen.

Eventually, their laughter subsided, and they sat exhausted, but happy, the way friends do after they’ve shared something that’s brought them closer. Bobby lifted his chin towards the kitchen. “How’s the kid doing?”

“He’s a lot better. I guess it was just bronchitis,” Alix said.

Bobby’s friend looked up from his plate. “What was wrong?”

“He was coughing up blood. I took him to Fullerton Hospital a few weeks ago, and they gave him antibiotics.”

“Blood?” When Alix nodded, he asked, “Did they do a chest X-ray? Or a TB test?”

“No. Why?”

“There’s a high rate of TB on Indian reservations.”

Concern flared on Alix’s face. “I thought it had been wiped out.”

The guy shook his head. “The government wants you to think that, but in some places it’s still rampant. Nobody talks about it, of course.”

“TB’s contagious, isn’t it?” Rain asked.

He nodded.

“Billy doesn’t have TB,” Alix said. “Look at him. He’s fine.”

“Sometimes you can have the infection, but if it’s not in an acute phase, you might not know it.”

“How do you know so much?” Alix ran a nervous hand through her hair.

“I’m in med school.” He went back to his plate. “Hey, don’t worry about it. It’s probably nothing. But if it happens again, make sure a doctor sees him.”

Billy bounced back into the living room, all smiles. “Hey, Casey, I told Dar you had a new Fritz the Cat. He said I could read it.”

“It’s back at the apartment,” Casey said.

“Can I go back to get it?” Billy pleaded. “Please?”

Alix smiled at Billy, then turned to Bobby’s friend. “Thanks for the advice. But I doubt we’ll need any more help.”

* *

 Rain lay on the sofa reading. Alix was already in bed, Casey was at work, and Teddy was off somewhere with Payton. Dar swept the kitchen. Of the four men, he was the most willing to help out with “women’s work.”  When he was done, he put the broom and dustpan away and went out to the living room. Rain made room for him on the couch.

He laced his hands behind his head and closed his eyes.

“Tired?” Rain asked.

“Not really. Just thinking.”

“About what?”

“Life. Love. The universe. You know, everything.” He opened his eyes.

Rain closed her book. “It’s all changing, isn’t it?”

Dar tilted his head.

“Everything’s getting fucked up,” Rain said, “and ugly.”

“How do you mean?”

“Nothing’s the same. You’ve changed. Casey too. And now Teddy’s getting weird.”

“I noticed.”

“He’s been hanging around Payton too long.”

“Maybe he’s just more committed. People find themselves at different times.”

Rain twirled a lock of hair. “I don’t know. Teddy and I went to high school together, remember? He was . . . well . . . he moved in all the right circles. Tennis team. Debate Club. He was part of the ‘in’ crowd. Concern for the oppressed wasn’t a priority.”

“That doesn’t mean anything. Abbie Hoffman graduated from Worcester, and Kathy Boudin went to prep school. Sometimes the privileged develop the keenest sense of justice.”

“Or guilt.”

Dar gave her a sharp look.

“Rich, white America exploited plenty of people over the years,” she said.

“Guilt might be the reason why you got involved in the Movement, but that’s not the case for me. Or from what I can tell, Teddy.”

“So why did he get involved?”

“I don’t know.”

“That’s my point . . . , ” she persisted, “we don’t know. By now, though, we should. Tell me—what happened when you went to his house in Wisconsin?”

“What happened? Nothing. Why?”

“That’s when he started to change.” Rain stopped twirling her hair. “Look . . . I don’t want to get paranoid, but do you think he might be an informant?”

Dar gave her another sharp look. “You mean for the FBI?”

“Something like that.”

“You’re kidding, of course.”

Rain shook her head. “His father is a judge. He has a lot of connections. Maybe he got talked into it.”

“It makes no sense. Why?”

“I don’t know,” Rain said. “Why does anyone turn? Maybe . . . ”

Dar cut her off. “No. You can’t do this, Rain. You can’t go around accusing people. Especially without evidence.”

“I’ve been watching him, Dar. There are things that . . . well . . . are really weird. Like his whole rap today about the moon landing conspiracy.”

“You think he’s covering for himself?”

“Maybe. There are all these times he just disappears, sometimes for hours. No one knows where he’s gone. And he never volunteers a thing.”

Dar was quiet for a minute. “Don’t do this Rain,” he said softly.

She felt a stab of resentment. “I’m just trying to protect us. In case . . . ” She saw his expression. “Oh, never mind.” She picked up her camera and went to the window. Sliding onto the window ledge, she looked at the fat shadows squeezed between pools of light from the lampposts. “July 8
^th
was Ringo’s birthday, you know.”

“Huh?”

She framed a shot and took a picture. “When I was in junior high, I used to talk about the Beatles with my best friend for hours. We were . . . oh . . . about fourteen, and we’d spend hours on the phone. She loved Paul. I liked Ringo. We read about them in trashy magazines, books, anything we could get our hands on. We knew everything—Paul’s birthday was June 18
^th
, Ringo’s was July 8
^th
.” She took another shot out the window. “We used to fantasize about going to a concert. We would be the only girls who weren’t screaming. Of course, the Beatles would notice, and they’d send us a note to meet them backstage after the concert.”

She turned around to face Dar. “We were so innocent back then. Maybe even silly. But now the Beatles might break up, Payton and Teddy are doing God knows what, and you and Alix are . . . ” Her voice trailed off.

Dar lowered his chin. “Alix and I are what?”

“You’re all caught up with Billy . . . pretending you’re a family.”

“Is something wrong with that?”

Rain slid off the window ledge, put the camera down, and came back to the couch. “I just don’t . . . Let me ask you something.” She sat down. “Are you sure Alix loves you as much as you love her? Is she always going to be there for you?”