Seven Days (6 page)

“
FUCK!” I heard my dad yell and chaos seemed to erupt through the house and I felt the thunder of people leaving as my father’s footsteps stopped outside my bedroom door. “Carrie, here’s the phone,” he said as our cordless hit the pillow beside me. “Call nine-one-one, tell them she shot herself, that you were home alone with her, you’d gone to bed, I was at my friend’s house. I wasn’t here, I was never here,” he instructed before bolting from the doorway and disappearing like the rest of the party.

My sister was at a sleepover three houses down. I was supposed to be there, but I got sick and my mom thought it would be better for me to stay home tonight. I didn’t complain then, but now I wished I wasn’t here. Slowly, I sat up in my bed and swung my feet over the side as if I were being drawn to the living room by a magnet. Grabbing the phone, I dialed the emergency number and walked to a place I knew I shouldn’t be.

Beer cans and liquor bottles littered every available surface in the kitchen and there was powder residue on a mirror on the kitchen table. The whole house smelled like burnt plastic and sulfur.

Then I saw her. She’d been sitting on the brown floral couch she’d picked up at a yard sale down the street. The arm rest under her head and cushion where she sat were soaked with nearly black blood. Her head was lolled back into the crevice between the arm rest and the back of the couch. Only the curtains and window contained the splatter of bright red blood I’d been expecting.

Her eyes were open and shock seemed to be frozen on her face as she struggled to breathe. My dad’s revolver was still clutched in her hand, even though her grip was loose.

“
Carrie,” she choked out as blood flowed from the open wound on her temple. I followed the path from her ear to the cushions and down toward the floor. A small pool was already forming on the carpet near where her empty left arm had fallen.

I couldn’t seem to tear my stinging eyes from my dying mother as the phone in my hand stopped ringing and finally connected.

“
Nine-one-one, what’s your emergency?” the nasal voice on the other end of the phone asked. Then, as if the operator’s voice pulled me from the state of shock I’d been in, I started screaming and couldn’t figure out how to stop.

“Shit! Carrie! Carrie!” I heard from beside me as I came back to consciousness. “Look at me,” I heard Ryan demand. “Please, fucking look at me,” he pleaded, prompting me to move my head to meet his eyes, which were wide with fear.

“I’m okay,” I said, instantly, looking out the window to see we had stopped moving and were in the McDonald’s parking lot just inside Payson’s city limits. “How long was I out?” I wrinkled my brow because the last thing I remembered was turning onto the highway.

“About an hour and a half,” he answered. “I don’t know where we are going, but I didn’t want to wake you, cause you looked so tired,” he explained.

“Don’t do me any favors,” I barked, still trying to shake the images of my nightmare. “Next time, wake me up.”

“You aren’t okay,” he said, scooting closer to me and looking at me so hard I swear he was looking
inside
me, like he could really see me.

“We need to take the 260 East,” I said, “I’m gonna grab a coffee inside, you want anything?” I asked, pushing away from him and opening my door.

His gaze turned disbelieving that I was going to avoid this conversation again, and then I watched it shift again to accepting. Closing his eyes and turning his head away from me, he answered, “No, I’m fine.”

“Cool,” I nodded, hopping down from the truck and walking inside like nothing had happened, even though my heart was still racing. There was a reason why I didn’t sleep and I’d just gotten a fairly good reminder that I needed to stay caffeinated while I was on this trip with Ryan.

**

“You know, I don’t think I’ve ever seen this many stars in my life,” Ryan proclaimed as we watched the sky from the bed of his truck. After seeing where we were and getting an idea for where we were headed, he’d declared his desire to camp after I’d returned to the truck that morning.

Ryan had never been camping before, and I thought a night counting the stars would be fun. Honestly, I hadn’t given much thought to where we would be spending the night, so I was grateful he had an idea. We decided to spread the brand new sleeping bags he’d bought in Payson out in the bed of the truck and laid back on the pillows that had been part of his impromptu shopping excursion after I agreed to camp. I think it was his way of trying to distract me from my nightmare and our subsequent disagreement, so I went with it.

“Always been a city boy?” I inquired, keeping my eyes heavenward.

“Something like that,” he mumbled, before clearing his throat and asking, “So, oh mighty tour guide, know anything about what we are looking at? Can we see any constellations?”

“Um, well, let’s see,” I told him, rubbing my hands together and looking over the sky. “Well, that right there is Orion’s belt,” I pointed toward the sky and I felt his body heat against my arm as he scooted closer to see where I was pointing. His proximity was always distracting, but under the cover of darkness, it only made me that much more aware of him. “And that over there is, um, Libra?” I continued, stretching my arm over his body to point in the other direction.

“Do you really know or are you trying to bull shit me right now?” he asked, his breath was hot against my ear and I had to fight the shiver it caused in my traitorous body. We’d shared moments like this all day. I knew that if I turned my head toward him, his golden brown eyes would be looking at me, at my lips; contemplating if now was the right time to take this flirtation to the next level.

“Um,” I started, taking a deep breath to calm the chemistry pulsing through me. “Bullshitting mostly,” I confessed, scooting slightly closer to the wall of truck and away from him, “but I really do think that’s Orion. I remember learning about him being in the summer sky during an eighth grade field trip to the Science Center.”

“Today has been more than I ever imagined,” Ryan said, shifting beside me again to lie down and changing the subject yet again.

“Oh yeah?” I asked, honestly curious, because I thought our day would be pretty mundane, all things considered.

I mean, I knew the view from the Mogollon Rim was incredible, but going to a fish hatchery was something you normally took children to see. I didn’t think that he would be as enthralled as he was by farmed fish. Because most of our lakes were man-made, the hatchery was used to stock them with trout. When my parents brought Britton and I there when we were younger, I thought it was where all fish came from. Ryan hadn’t asked any questions about why the place existed, but I could tell that he wanted to. We just went from bay to bay, looking at the fish at various states of growth and even fed the pound of nearly adult fish that were ready to be transported.

“It was… unexpected.”

“Why’s that?” I shifted to my side to face him, curious about his words.

“When you said to bring hiking boots, my first thought had been the Superstitions. However, after you directed me in the opposite direction, I expected a day trek to the Grand Canyon,” he explained, moving again to mirror my position.

“The Grand Canyon wasn’t on my radar, either,” I shook my head. “This was where I wanted to take you.”

“Why?”

“Well, the Grand Canyon is
still
kind of obvious, isn’t it? I mean, it is one of the seven natural wonders of the world,” I rolled my eyes in mock exasperation. “After all, you asked me to show you around, but I didn’t think you wanted me to show you places you’ve already heard about. You don’t exactly need an Arizona native to show you
that
shit,” I rambled, even though I knew that wasn’t what he’d been asking. And if I were on the fence about the real reason behind his question, he decided to clarify.

“No, I meant, why did you want to take me here? I’m not complaining or anything, this place is incredible, but why
here
?” The earnestness in his eyes as he waited for my answer was breathtaking. He really wanted to know what I loved about this place, why it was important. Even though it would reveal more than I was comfortable with, I couldn’t stop myself from answering him honestly.

“Well, I didn’t know how today would work out for us, and I wanted to bring you somewhere I didn’t go on a school trip,” I started, my voice barely above a whisper and my eyes staring blankly over his shoulder. “The last time I was here, was the last time I ever got to look at a place with the wide-eyed innocence of a child and, because I was able to see it all again with you, it still feels as magical today as it did back then.”

“I’m glad I could help you revisit a place you found to be good and pure before life hurt you,” he whispered back, putting a warm hand against my cheek and bringing my eyes back to his. Even in the darkness, the empathy pulsing in his gaze shone through. I was so grateful it wasn’t pity, because if it was with just that small confession, I knew that I wouldn’t be able to open up to him anymore. I didn’t want to become a charity case. “So, do I get you another day, or do I have to take you back home in the morning?” he asked, leaning his forehead against mine and closing his eyes as if sending up a silent prayer that I’d say yes to getting to know him more through further travel.

I didn’t think there was any question. Aside from our mounting attraction, I wasn’t well travelled and couldn’t turn down the opportunity to see the little places I’d always wanted to visit. Really, he’d picked the wrong person to go on this grand adventure with, as I would be out of ideas after tomorrow and I refused to give in on going to the biggest tourism draws. I hoped he wouldn’t mind.

His breathing turned heavy as he waited for my answer, bathing my cheeks with a moist heat that had me panting in return. I stared at his tightly shut eyes, wondering if they were closed because he wouldn’t be able to look if I said no, or if he was sending up silent prayers that I’d say yes.

“You get another day,” I finally agreed, my lips brushing gently against his with my words, sending shockwaves fueled by desire across my skin.

“Yeah?” his eyes opened slowly and his hand moved to my waist the heat from the contact searing me as he pulled me closer to him. I only nodded in response, not trusting my voice. “I’m going to kiss you now,” he told me, leaning in even further, like he’d lost the ability to fight our attraction anymore. “Okay?” His need for my approval sealed our fate. No one had ever asked for permission before, they’d only ever taken. My heart leapt in my chest that he’d shown me such respect, like he knew I needed this to be on my terms.

“Okay,” I acquiesced on a breath before his lips met mine. I expect him to devour me with the way he’d been looking at me all day. I knew he’d been dying for this, because I was wondering if I might expire from the wait myself. Yet, he kissed me slowly. He let me get used to his lips against mine. The tremble of his hands at my waist told me that he was probably afraid he might scare me off. His tongue snaked out and licked at my bottom lip before meeting mine. Electricity zinged around us as his fingertips played lightly with the hem of my t-shirt and my own hands found their way into the silkiness of hair. As the kiss continued, I found myself pressing further against his body and pulling lightly at the hair at the nape of his neck. I knew that I shouldn’t be encouraging a deeper connection when the clock was already ticking on my departure from his life, but I couldn’t help myself. Being with him, I was truly awake for the first time in my life.

Maybe I was capable of more than being a waitress that fucks away her father’s debts and shelters her sister from her mistakes. Maybe I could be something more with the man lying beside me. Maybe I could find a way to—

On the beginning of that thought, I pushed away from Ryan, separating our lips with a hand in the center of his chest. His heart raced against my touch, letting me know he was just as affected as I was as I waited for my breathing to calm before trying to explain why this couldn’t happen between us.

“Why’d you stop?” he asked, his eyes confused. “Was I going to fast?”

“No, you were perfect, the kiss was perfect,” I denied, my eyes stinging with unshed tears. “I just— I can’t— I didn’t mean—”

“Do you have a boyfriend?”

“No, it’s not that, it’s just— I can’t make you any promises that this will last beyond this road trip, regardless of what may develop between us. Regardless of what we might feel for each other when all is said and done. There is an attraction, sure, but you don’t know me or what I’m capable of. I don’t want you to be disappointed when you learn I’m not who you think I am,” I spit out, not quite conveying the message I’d wanted to when I started talking. Of course, his powerful kiss had set forth an avalanche of verbal diarrhea that I hoped wouldn’t become the norm for how I related to Ryan over the course of our trip.

“Where do you want to take me tomorrow?” he asked, keeping our position and ignoring my declaration. I was happy to see I wasn’t the only one using avoidance tactics on this trip.

“I don’t know. You wanna go north or south from here?” I asked, finally breaking our connection to lie down on my back again, moving my eyes back to the sparkling sky.

“Let’s keep going north,” he declared, rolling away as well.

“I know just the place then,” I told him, sneaking a glance and shooting him a sly smile. “You bring a sweater and a flashlight?”