Seven Days: The Complete Story (40 page)

“That’s fine
for you to say but I’m not staying here without you.” I know I
sound paranoid and silly but I don’t want Mr Lawson to come back
and start yelling at me. I don’t know what I’ve done. Despite my
voicing this, Nicholas disappears in the direction of his
father.

Right. Take a
few deep breaths, I think. Get that heart rate back to normal.
Stress is not good for ‘the bean’, as we’re now calling the baby in
lieu of a better name. Looking around, I perch myself on the corner
of the sofa. It’s right next to Mr Lawson’s half empty glass of
scotch so if the worst happens at least I can throw it at him and
make a run for the door. I sit this way for some minutes until a
woman appears. She’s wearing a navy blue skirt and a white shirt.
Her greying hair is swept to the back of her head in an elegant bun
and she has that arch to her eyebrows that women from the upper
classes seem to have.

“Hello Sadie,”
she says.

“I’m Debra, Mr
Lawson’s assistant. Is there anything I can get for you?”

A gun to the
head?

I feel like
I’m in a job interview. “No thank you. I’m cool.”

“A drink.
Scotch, rum? Vodka? Wine?”

Clearly, Debra
hasn’t been filled in on my situation.

“I’m pregnant.
So no. But thanks.”

I could
actually do with a vodka right about now.

Debra gives me
a friendly smile. “Sorry. I didn’t mean to offend you. Clayton
didn’t tell me and you don’t look pregnant.”

So she thought
I was fat? I see her blush so obviously, both being women, she
realises her second faux pas of the minute.

“Right, well,
I’m going to go and get you a glass of water before I put my foot
any further in it,” she says. And she actually does make a run for
it. I wonder if the Lawsons have ever considered replacing that
door with a revolving one? It gets enough use.

As I’m
thinking this, Nicholas and his father reappear. Nicholas sits on
the sofa beside me. His father takes up his glass, drains it and
refills it before coming to stand by the fire place in front of us.
“Can I offer you a drink, Sadie?”

What is it
with these people and alcohol?

“I’m fine.
Debra’s getting me some water.”

His glance
strays to my stomach. “Of course. How foolish of me.”

And now we
have that established would somebody like to tell me what’s going
on?

Mr Lawson
swallows. He looks about the room seemingly searching for
something. Words maybe?

“I apologise
for my abrupt greeting, Sadie. I was very rude.” The tone of his
voice has changed completely. It’s softened and I don’t why but I
assume I’m about to find out.

“That’s
alright.”

“No, it’s not.
I’d like to explain, if you’ll let me.”

Alle-freaking-luia.

“I knew your
mother some years back, before you were born. Seeing you walk in
here was like seeing a ghost from my past. You are the image of
her. She was a very beautiful woman.”

I blink. I
don’t know what to say, possibly because I can barely comprehend
what I’ve just heard. “You knew my mother?”

“I was in love
with her… and she with me.”

From the
corner of my eye, I see Nicholas’ eyes widen. “Is this some kind of
a joke, Dad. Because I can assure you neither Sadie or I find it
funny.”

“It’s not a
joke.” Mr Lawson’s eyes come to rest on mine. He’s serious, deadly
serious. “I met your mother at the Bay. She was staying in a little
cottage that belonged to your family. It had the most delightful
seaside garden. Does your family still have it?”

“I own it now.
I have no family,” I reply. “Not since Mum died.”

“So Caroline
never married?”

“No. Mum was
always guarded about that. She never told me who my father was or
why she was single but over the years I got the feeling she was
holding a candle for someone.” I stop for a beat. I look him
straight in the eye. I know what I’m saying is way out there but I
have to know. I have this need to share with him, the way I did
with Nicholas when we first met. It’s so surreal. “Was that someone
you?”

“Caroline was
nineteen when we met, I was twenty-five. From the moment we lay
eyes on each other, we were smitten. Me, in particular. Her smile,
her laugh, everything about her was what I’d always dreamed a girl
would be. I suppose that’s why I got such a shock when you walked
through the door. I apologise again for being so abrupt with
you.”

“So you were
lovers?”

“I wanted to
marry her. I loved her with a passion I’ve never felt for anyone
before or after. I loved Nicholas’ mother too, but it wasn’t the
same as what I felt for Caroline and I think sometimes Nicholas’
mother felt like she was playing second fiddle to a ghost.”

This is
getting a little bit hectic.

“Why didn’t
you marry Sadie’s mum then?” Nicholas asks.

“Duty. Your
grandparents had already made their choice for me and if I wanted
to take over the business I really had no choice. But I was
distraught over leaving your mother, Sadie. I never forgot her. And
now, seeing you with Nicholas, it’s almost as if history’s
repeating itself but this time it’s being fulfilled.”

“I always
wondered why my mother never married or showed interest in men.
When I was little I thought it was because of me but as I got older
I realised she’d been keeping something from me. On the outside she
was happy, she was the best mother in the world, but she had dark
moments.”

“There was a
baby. My baby.”

I bite my lip.
History
is
repeating. I only hope Nicholas and I can break
the cycle.

“I couldn’t
marry your mother, Sadie. I couldn’t support her without the family
cutting me off. Unlike Nicholas, I was weak. I let my family
dictate my fortunes. In the end, your mother had a miscarriage. It
wasn’t good but at least she didn’t have to deal with the guilt of
going through with an abortion. Your mother would never have been
strong enough for that.”

Holy shit. Is
he serious? I had an older brother or sister? Why did I never know
this? Is this why my mother was always so overprotective of me?
What I classed as being a homebody and never letting me try new
things was her way of keeping me safe from the world or from the
man who was my father. She’d never tell me who he was, simply that
it had been a mistake. Not that she made me feel bad for that, my
mother loved me, but the relationship she had with him had been
wrong. They weren’t suited. It was one of those things.

I gulp down my
water, trying to process this turn of events. I still don’t get how
this can be, how the world can be such a small place or how fate
and destiny can seem to step in to give Nicholas and I the
happiness our parents never had. But now I have to ask. I have to
know.

“Do you know
my father, Mr Lawson?”

“I did. His
name was Andrew Barrett.”

“Uncle
Andrew?” Nicholas gasps. “That old sleaze is Sadie’s father?”

Uncle? No, no
this cannot be happening.

Seeing what
must be a look of utter horror on my face, Mr Lawson tries to
reassure me. “He’s not a proper uncle, Sadie. It’s one of those
things you get your children to call family friends as a sign of
respect.”

Thank freaking
God. My body literally sags with relief. The implications of
Nicholas possibly being related to me were something I can’t begin
to consider. I’ve had enough shocks for one day.

“So how did
this Andrew, my father, end up with my mother?”

“It was some
years later that they met. He liked your mother and she knew Andrew
and I were friends. It was a way for her to keep in contact with
me. Andrew established a bond based on that, their friendship grew
and eventually they became lovers. Andrew cared about your mother
deeply. He was essentially a good man but he was a
commitment-phobe. As soon as he knew your mother was pregnant he
ran for the hills. I was married by that time, Nicholas must have
be four or five. Your mother and I saw each other around the Bay
during that summer and it was hard. Your mother leant on Andrew to
ease the pain of seeing me with someone else.”

And got
pregnant with me. No wonder my mother never went near another man
after that. To be let down once was a tragedy but to have it happen
to you twice would make you gun shy for sure.

I flop back
into the cushions of the sofa. It’s funny how I can sit here and
listen while this man fills in details of my mother’s life I never
knew, how we can all be so matter of fact about it. Now I
understand why my mother hated going to the Bay so much, why we
stopped. She must have seen the Lawson’s playing happy families.
She must have been consumed with guilt over the baby that died. And
forever wondering about what might have happened if it hadn’t. But
my mother is gone. History can’t be changed.

“Mr
Lawson?”

“Please, call
me Clay. If you’re going to be my daughter-in-law we have to move
past the formalities.” He smiles at me. It’s Nicholas’ smile, the
one that melts my heart and suddenly I see so much of Nicholas in
this man, so many of the same qualities. Nicholas is simply an
improved version. Beside me on the couch, I feel him squeeze my
hand. He was dreading this meeting, thinking his father would
refuse to accept me but, in reality, the sadness of the past has
been the catalyst for what might be a happy relationship. My mother
was never truly happy and Mr Lawson obviously has some regret that
he never married her, but now a new chapter is starting. Nicholas
and I have the opportunity to change the history of this
family.

“Clay. Are you
still friends with my father?”

“He died about
two years ago, Sadie. Heart attack. He never married either. Stayed
a bachelor till the end. He would have loved you, though. You are
so much like your mother when she was your age.”

It was in the
paper. I remember reading it in the paper. Andrew Barrett was one
of the most eligible bachelors in the country. He was like the
George Clooney of society. There was always another woman linked to
him, or rumoured to be engaged to him, but it never happened. Had
my mother loved him too? Had that been what tipped her over the
edge? Was my father’s death the reason she drowned? Had she killed
herself? I don’t like to think that’s the reason but this has been
a revelation and all the pieces have fallen into place.

*****

Later that
night, I wake from a terrible dream, one where Nicholas has died.
It’s a long time since I’ve been restless in the night like this,
but at least I’m not alone. I cling to Nicholas’ back in the
darkness, my silent tears against his shoulder waking him.

“What’s
wrong?” he whispers, shuffling round and gathering me to him.

“We’re
repeating history, Nicholas,” I sniff. “You, me and Joel. It’s
happening all over again. I would never have believed if I hadn’t
heard the words coming from your father’s mouth.”

“Surely you,
of all people, don’t believe in that stuff?” He wraps me tighter.
“What you and I have is nothing like what happened with our
parents. It’s not destiny or fate or anything like it. For
starters, I can’t exactly imagine my father sharing any woman in
the bedroom.”

Ugh. The idea
that our parents had sex is pretty gruesome.

“You know what
I mean— the best friends, my mother loving two men, the baby. I’m
having your baby. It’s history repeating. It is. But the baby could
have as easily have been Joel’s. Now Joel’s disappeared, like my
father did. We’ll never see him again.”

“Do you want
him to come back? Do you want to marry him? Are you afraid you’ve
made the wrong choice? Is that what this is about?”

I sense a
tinge of anger in his voice. Or hurt. Fuck. Why do I do this? Why
do I obsess and hurt him so.

“You know it’s
not. You know I love you both. I always have. I don’t want Joel
more than you. I can’t bear the thought that it’s over, that our
friendship is over because of a baby.”

“
Shhh,”
he soothes. “You’re overreacting. Joel will come back. He
disappears for a while but he always comes back. This is not a
replay of the past. You’re reading things into this that don’t
exist.”

“How do you
know? Since when are you the destiny police?”

“Because I
know for a fact history can’t repeat itself. If it did you and I
wouldn’t be together. I’d be marrying whats-her-name from Dad’s
club and making him proud and you’d be working as a gardener.”

“I’m not a
gardener!” Pretentious arse. How dare he when he knows how hard I
worked for my degree. I’m getting more worked up. It’s not the
gardener thing, it’s that he’s either being deliberately obtuse or
not understanding what I mean.

Or it could be
the hormones again.

Damn, fucking,
arsehole hormones.

I start to
weep again. Honestly, I might as well declare my tear ducts a
mineral spring and let people come bathe in them for the amount I
cry lately. “I dreamed you died. I was looking into your coffin and
your body was cold and lifeless. I can’t be left alone, Nicholas.
I’ve lost Joel. I can’t lose you too. I can’t be alone my entire
life like my mother was, with only a baby to love. I can’t do this
without you
⎯
”

Okay, so
that’s a little overdramatic but I think the point is sinking
in.

“⎯It was so
real, so scary,” I say. “Promise me you’ll never leave me,
Nicholas. Promise.”

“You know I’ll
never leave you. I love you.”

“Promise.”

“I
promise.”

I suck in a
deep breath. I feel somewhat calmer now, so I give him a peck on
the lips. “You do know if you break that promise, I’ll never
forgive you.”

He pecks me
back. “Seems a little pointless if I’m dead.”