Seven Deadly Samovars (11 page)

Godiva wailed, “Eeeeyyaahhh!”

“No, no, Sis. Try saying ooommm.”

“Oommm, my ass! Open your eyes, dammit! There’s one of my bags. Look, it’s got a big rip from one end to the other.”

The clerk in baggage claims kept insisting they could fix the damage so it would hardly show. Godiva demanded to speak to the supervisor and a few moments later she was issuing veiled threats to convince him that “a repair that hardly showed” just wasn’t acceptable for a suitcase of this quality. Beaten down, he finally approved a replacement and completed the claim form.

Luckily, the car rental presented no challenge. The Town Car Godiva requested was ready and waiting at Hertz, and by 11:30 that evening they arrived at the luxurious Hotel Monaco on 4
th
Street in downtown Seattle.

Goldie looked around the lobby with her mouth open. “Wow, Godiva. I thought we’d be staying somewhere nice, like the Hilton, but this is fantastic. It must be costing you a mint.”

Godiva sighed. “Goldie, it’s my favorite place in Seattle. The Convention Center isn’t that far so I figured…why not? We’ve got a car and I can afford the best. I discovered this place on my last trip here.” She kept chattering in the elevator. “I’ve booked the Mediterranean suite for myself and deluxe adjoining rooms for you, Mom and Unk. Wait till you see them. Mine has a spa tub to die for and they give you these cute animal print robes to wear.”

Goldie patted her sister on the arm. “Well, la-dee-dah. I’ve gotta say, Sis, you sure know how to spend your late husband’s money.”

“It may have been Max’s money, but I earned every penny by putting up with him all those years!”

They reached their floor and as they got off the elevator Godiva said, “By the way, would you like a goldfish companion?”

Goldie stopped dead in her tracks. “A what?”

“A goldfish companion. Their Guppy Love program will send one up to keep you company during the stay and the staff takes care of it. Watching fish is very relaxing, you know. I think I’ll get one myself.”

“Ummm…think I’ll pass on the fish.”

Godiva opened the door to her suite. “Mom and Unk will be here tomorrow in time to take advantage of the
Hour of Indulgence
. They’ll love it. So will you.”

Goldie opened her own door and admired the room, then stepped back into the hall. “Hold on a second,
Hour of Indulgence.
What’s that, a meet and greet wine tasting or something?”

Her sister shook her head. “No, my dear, it’s way more. Not only do they serve fine wines and boutique beers, but they have chair massages and fortune telling and Lord knows what else.”

Goldie beamed. “Fortune telling? Wow. Mom will just love it. Man, we left in such a rush, I didn’t even have time to do our charts.”

Godiva stepped back into her suite. “Night…see you in the morning. We’ll go shopping for that new laptop.”

Minutes later they were both fast asleep in their respective beds under extra fluffy goose down comforters.

* * * *

As soon as she woke, Goldie tried to call Mrs. Wurlitzer, the Seattle customer, but all she got was the woman’s voice mail. She made a mental note to try again a little later. During breakfast they planned out the rest of the day, Goldie jotting notes on her yellow pad. The first order of business was to warn Caesar and Mrs. Wurlitzer that they were now the owners of some very dangerous merchandise.

Godiva reached for her cell phone and punched in Caesar’s number. When she got the voice mail, she said, “Caesar, honey, call me when you get this. I’ve got to talk to you about that samovar you bought from Goldie.” She shrugged her shoulders. “Man, I hope he calls me as soon as he gets the message. Guess it’s time for Plan B.”

She opened the phone again and called her old boyfriend, Ricky Thompson, a former Special Forces operative who now owned a security/bodyguard company. Ricky and his enormous partner Ivan guarded Caesar and Chili during a tense time last year at the Gourmet Gladiator Tournament. Now it was time to call on him again. Caesar had the seventh samovar and that put a big X on his back.

When she hung up, Goldie said, “I’m glad you asked Ricky to guard Caesar and Chili. No telling what might be in those samovars, or who might be after them.”

“Don’t worry,” Godiva said with a wink, “Ricky will keep an eye on them.”

“Tell you what, Sis, if I wasn’t married, I wouldn’t mind keeping my eye on Ricky. He sure turned out to be a hunk. Nothing like the psycho kid from high school who opened beer bottles with his teeth.”

Godiva looked a bit dreamy. “Yeah, our senior year was really something…you going to love-ins with your hippie friends and me going to poker games with Tricky Ricky. Man, that guy could kiss!”

While her sister made her calls, Goldie tried Mrs. Wurlitzer again, with the same result. This time she left a voice message. “Mrs. Wurlitzer, this is Goldie Silver from Silver Spoon Antiques in Juneau. If you are back from your cruise, please call me, I must talk to you right away.” She left her cell phone number.

Godiva gathered her things and clapped her hands, “Let’s go, I simply must write my columns this afternoon or I’ll be in hot water.” On their way out, Godiva put in her request for a goldfish, a fantail if possible.

SIXTEEN

       At the cavernous computer warehouse, Godiva wasted no time; she headed right for the laptop with the most bells and whistles and tapped a few buttons just for show. “This one looks like it’ll do, what do you think, Goldie?”

Goldie fingered the price tag. “Much too expensive. What about this one here? It’s half the price and comes with a free case, too.”

“Sorry, Sis, it’s an off-brand, bound to cause trouble. Just look at that free case. I wouldn’t be caught dead carrying that.”

“But you won’t be carrying it, I will.”

“What if someone found out I gave you a cheesy computer in an ugly case? It would be so embarrassing.” Godiva caught the clerk and told him to ring up the shiny silver laptop, but first she asked for the manager and talked him into throwing in a leather case as a bonus.

When they got in the car, Goldie tried Mrs. Wurlitzer one more time. Still no answer. “I don’t get it. Mrs. Wurlitzer told me her cruise would be over by yesterday.”

“Maybe she didn’t go straight home. Might have stopped somewhere along the way. To see a friend or something. Don’t worry, Sis, if she’s not home then the Dumkovskys can’t find her either.”

Goldie hugged herself tight. “I just hope nothing happened to her.”

* * * *

In the early afternoon, Godiva stayed at the hotel and worked on her column while Goldie took a walk down to the Pike Street Market. After watching a famous fish monger toss a few whole salmon across the counter to his helper, and poking around in the shops and stalls for an hour or two, she headed back to the hotel in time to meet her mother and uncle when they arrived.

At 4:05, Flossie and Sterling Silver came through the lobby doors. A bellman followed rolling their large wardrobe case filled with costumes and props for the magic act they were scheduled to give at the Icons of Illusion banquet. Flossie, all dolled up for the trip, was wearing a pantsuit the color of pink cotton candy. Every blue-rinsed hair on her head was in place. She flashed her dentures at the young bellman. “You look like such a nice boy, but darling you don’t look like you’re eating enough. You need a little meat on those bones.” She pressed a ten-dollar tip into his hand. “Here, honey, buy yourself a nice big pastrami sandwich and make sure they give you a good kosher pickle with it, too.”

Sterling, dressed in a casual plaid shirt and chinos, took his sister-in-law by the elbow and nudged her along. “Come on Flossie, old girl. Don’t harp on the poor kid like a Jewish mother. See, he looks healthy. I’ll bet he’s got some biceps, hauling around those bags all day.” The young man shot Sterling a grateful look.

Goldie and Godiva sat in chairs with their backs to the lobby doors. As soon as they heard Flossie trying to fatten up the bellman, they turned around and chorused, “Aren’t you those famous magicians Flossie and Sterling Silver?”

Flossie clasped her hands. “Oh, my beautiful girls.” Then she hugged each of her daughters while fighting back tears. “You came, both of you. It’s a sight for sore eyes to see you two together.” She stepped back and admired her identical daughters. Then she surveyed the hotel lobby. “And such a fancy hotel, Godiva, I feel like the Queen of Sheba with her two princesses!”

Sterling folded his arms and grunted, “And what am I supposed to be? The Sheik of Arabee?”

Flossie ignored him and went right on talking, “You know girls, your father, he should rest in peace, would be in heaven if he could receive that award himself tomorrow night.”

Sterling grunted again. “He already is in heaven, Flossie, that’s why we’re here to accept it for him.”

Goldie hugged her mother. “It’s so exciting Mom. Imagine our Daddy, Harry Silver, being honored as one of the greatest magicians of all time.”

Sterling waved his hands in a theatrical flourish. “Now I ask you, how many guys can say their brother was one of the greatest names in magic? It sure gets me respect at the Magic Castle!” He turned to Godiva. “And I must thank you, Lady Godiva, for providing us with lodging fit for royalty. By the way, do we have time for a little nap before dinner?”

“Sure. Let’s get you both checked in so you can rest up for the
Hour of Indulgence.”

Sterling raised an eyebrow and fixed Godiva with a questioning look. “Hour of….”

“Indulgence, Unk. Don’t even ask, but you’ll enjoy the massage and I’m sure Mom will give the fortune-teller a run for her money. I just hope you old ducks behave yourselves, don’t get drunk on the wine, and please leave your tricks in the trunk until tomorrow night.”

They completed the registration and Godiva said to the desk clerk, “Give them each a fish.”

“A fish?” Flossie said, “Are we cooking in the room? If this is one of those rooms with a kitchen, I’d rather have chicken than fish, wouldn’t you Sterling? You’d think in a fancy place like this everyone would eat in the restaurant.”

Goldie couldn’t hold in the laughter. “No, Mom. Godiva is ordering a pet goldfish in a bowl for each of you. She says it’s relaxing. The staff takes care of them, you just watch them swim around.”

Flossie shrugged her shoulders. “Hmmmph. Some classy joint! What will they think of next? I did our charts this morning and mine said I would be in for a big surprise, this must be it.”

“Come on, old girl,” Sterling said simply. “We need to get our beauty sleep.” He turned to Godiva. “Do I really need to take the fish?”

She answered as sweetly as possible, “Trust me, Unk, you’ll like it. Just don’t make it disappear.”

They piled the two oldsters into the elevator and steered them to their rooms. The plan was to meet in the lobby at six.

An hour later, the sisters sat in Godiva’s suite, sipping tea and nibbling on biscuits from a silver tray. Goldie pulled a yellow pad out of her huge carpetbag.

“Let’s figure out where we stand.” She started to make another list. “We don’t have to worry about Caesar and Chili because Ricky will be keeping an eye on them. Before we left, Belle mentioned that one of the ladies she met at the National Mad Hatters’ Convention last August is married to a captain on the LAPD. She gave me her number in case we need some help in L.A., but with Ricky on the job maybe that won’t be necessary. Belle seems to really like this woman. Said they were like the Bobbsey Twins at the convention.”

“Just what I need: another Belle.” Godiva groaned. “Well, put her number on the list. We’ll have it handy if we need it in California. You never know. What’s next?”

Goldie tapped the pad with her pencil. “I tried calling Mrs. Wurlitzer a few times with no luck. I guess she’ll be back tomorrow, so I’ll just put her on the list. And, of course, our trip to Bellingham tomorrow morning, I called to check and the ferry comes in at about eight a.m. If we don’t see the Dumkovskys get off the ferry, we need a fallback plan, don’t you think?”

Godiva nodded. “Well, I hope we spot them, but even if we don’t, we know where they’re headed. Mrs. Wurlitzer’s address was on the paperwork they swiped from your shop. The question is, even if we spot them what can we do to stop them? Maybe we should ask Ollie to alert the police in Seattle.”

Goldie nodded. “I’m way ahead of you, Sis. Ollie told me it probably wouldn’t do any good. Since the crime wasn’t committed in Seattle, they won’t even pay any attention to us. Nope. If anything is going to get done, we’ll have to do it. I promised Ollie again that we would stay out of trouble.”

Godiva raised an eyebrow and her thought echoed in Goldie’s head.
And will we?

SEVENTEEN

       “You know, that fortune teller wasn’t half bad,” Flossie said, smoothing the folds on her flowered jacket. “She said I was going to be the center of attention somewhere…maybe a theater. I’m telling you, Sterling, it’s like she saw you and me on stage Saturday night.”

“That’s hogwash, Flossie,” Sterling said. “You should have gotten a chair massage instead of that half baked fortune. My shoulders feel like a couple of limp noodles. All you got was the same line she probably tells everyone.”

Godiva stepped between them. “Okay, children, let’s not fight.” She couldn’t hold back her laughter. “Make nice and we’ll all get something to eat.”

They headed for the hotel’s gourmet restaurant. During dinner the twins filled Flossie and Sterling in on everything that had happened in Juneau. Sterling seemed more interested in the salmon bake than the murder. Flossie wanted to know every detail of all of the crimes and made her daughters repeat the description of the Russian villains.

“So you see,” Goldie said, “that’s why we’re getting up early tomorrow morning and driving to Bellingham. We want to see if those Dumkovsky brothers get off the ferry. Don’t worry, we’ll be back in time for the Icons cocktail party.”

Flossie beamed. “Oh boy. Some excitement. When do we leave?”