Seven Tears at High Tide (14 page)

Fifteen.

Kevin is in
the kitchen gulping down a glass of orange juice. He grins when he sees the flyer for the county fair in San Luis Obispo pinned to the refrigerator. It's the last day of the fair. He's planned this just in time.

“Ann!” he yells. “I'm borrowing your car today, remember?”

His sister looks up from her seat in the living room, puts down her book and raises an eyebrow. “What, you're not gonna go surfing with your boyfriend?”

“Come on, Ann, please, I really wanna take him to the county fair and today's the last day. It's his birthday.”

Her eyes crinkle in amusement, and he knows he's won.

Ann tosses the keys at him. “Remember to fill it up with gas when you're done. Don't have sex in the backseat; I'll know if you do.”

Kevin blushes. “Ann! We're not doing that.”

Ann laughs at him. “Uh huh, and you guys spend all that time in your bedroom with the door closed just for fun.”

“We hang out! Movies and things!”

A few times kisses have gotten heated, and Morgan's dislike of clothes means in private he's usually very close to naked. Kevin's a teenage boy; Morgan is very attractive; it would be difficult
not
to be aroused even if he were clothed all the time. It's not that Kevin hasn't thought about it, but it is a difficult thing to ask. Plus, Morgan is so
innocent
about so many things. He figures if Morgan ever wants to, he'll let Kevin know. Until then, he's more than happy with what they have.

“Right,” Ann says. “Have fun. Win me the biggest stuffed animal you can.”

The doorbell rings, and Kevin finishes his juice quickly. He rushes to the door, smiling widely at Morgan, who is wearing Kevin's sweatshirt and the orange shorts again. “Hey!” Kevin says. “You're probably not wearing anything under that.” Poking the collar down reveals skin, as he expected.

“You realize I'm still sitting right here,” Ann says.

Kevin rolls his eyes. “Here, I'm gonna get you the clothes you left in my room.”

Ann's eyes widen. “I'm
still
here!”

Kevin's cheeks heat up, but he knows whatever he says Ann will find a way to turn into a joke, so he just runs up to his room. He realizes the shirt they bought is long-sleeved and made out of a thick blend. Morgan will probably be more comfortable in something else, since it's going to get warmer later. He digs in his dresser, laughing when he finds a T-shirt with a smug-looking cartoon seal with the words “SEAL OF APPROVAL” printed on it. Dashing back downstairs, he finds Morgan chuckling at something Ann is saying.

“What are you two talking about?” Kevin asks, narrowing his eyes.

“Nothing,” Ann says. “Giving Morgan some advice, that's all. Have fun, kids!”

Kevin glares at his sister, and she gives him a jaunty salute. “C'mon,” Kevin says, taking Morgan by the hand and pulling him into the downstairs bathroom, ignoring Ann's scandalized snort from the living room.

Morgan looks as cute as ever, waiting with a slightly confused expression. Kevin hands him the jeans and then holds out the shirt. “Here, what do you think?”

“It is a comical representation of a seal.” Morgan unzips the sweatshirt and takes the shirt. He gets stuck pulling it on.

Kevin pulls the shirt over his head, careful to not tug on Morgan's hair. “What was my sister saying to you?”

“She was asking about our mating habits.”

Kevin cheeks heat up. “Um, right, our, ah, mating habits.”

“I told her not to worry. You have a full day planned at this fair, and I reassured her that we would not be mating in her vehicle.”

“I hope you're not mating in the bathroom, either!” Ann's voice resonates through the wall, sending both Kevin and Morgan into fits of laughter.

The drive is
fun. Pop songs blare on the radio, and Kevin sings along, making Morgan laugh hysterically at him. They pull into the fairground and park alongside the throngs of people, all eager to enjoy their day. “This is going to be great,” Kevin declares, buying a generous number of tickets.

Morgan is awestruck at everything: the popcorn, the cotton candy, the bright colors, the chiming music playing constantly and the people everywhere. He gets cotton candy all over himself; pink floss sticks to his lips and cheeks, and Kevin has to kiss it away. Once again he feels warm contentment at being able to kiss in public, hold hands with Morgan, who is without insecurities or qualms about being seen with him. They're happy and in a relationship, and Kevin could scream it to the world and Morgan would just smile that sweet, happy smile.

They go on the Tilt-A-Whirl first—Morgan shrieks delightedly as the ride spins them in dizzy circles—then head straight to the Flying Chairs. Morgan's eyes widen when the machine lifts their swings up, higher and higher, and he grabs Kevin's hand.

“It's totally fine, look!” Kevin says, pointing out the view of the city. Then the swings spin, and their feet dangle in the sky.

Morgan is breathless when they get back to the ground and he shakes his head. “That was incredible!”

“There's more rides, but do you want to try any of the food? There is, like, deep-fried everything you can think of.”

Morgan's eyes light up and they make for the food booths, where they purchase deep-fried Twinkies. Morgan sighs around the sweet mouthfuls and his eyes glaze over. It's so adorable that Kevin gives him his share as well.
This is never going to get old
.

“Don't you want some?”

“Nah.” Kevin kisses him. Morgan tastes like buttery cake and cream. “I've got the best dessert right here.”

Morgan's eyes crinkle up, and he tries to kiss Kevin but starts laughing. Kevin can't help but laugh as well; he loves his puns and cheesy one-liners. He never thought he'd be comfortable saying them out loud, he's so used to having to self-edit because no one appreciated his weird humor. Morgan does, though, and Kevin adores that about him.

They spend a few hours playing the games. Kevin knows they're rigged, but they're fun to try, and he's got plenty of tickets to spare. Morgan tries and tries to toss a plastic ring onto a bottleneck, and they spend so many tickets at the booth that the operator takes pity on them and gives them one of the smaller toys, a stuffed octopus that makes Morgan laugh.

“They are so much larger than this,” Morgan says, holding the toy in the palm of his hand.

A funnel cake later, they're tired and full. Kevin counts their tickets; they've got enough for one more ride for the both of them, so he pulls them onto the Ferris wheel.

Inside their car, Morgan rests his head on Kevin's shoulder. Contentment is written all over Morgan's face as he settles in. The wheel brings them higher, and Kevin wraps an arm around Morgan's shoulders, resting his head on his.

“This was so much fun,” Kevin says. It might be the best day he's had all summer.

“Thank you for bringing me here. I've never done any of these things before, would never have gotten the chance if I hadn't met you.”

“You're welcome.” Kevin presses a kiss to Morgan's forehead.

Morgan curls himself into the embrace, and the car rotates again. Now they're at the top of the Ferris wheel, with the entire fair spread out below them and the ocean sparkling far in the distance. Morgan burrows his face into Kevin's neck. “I love you.”

It feels right, in this moment, for Kevin to take Morgan's chin and softly tilt his head up, and then to capture Morgan's lips in a gentle kiss, smile, and say, “I love you too.”

Morgan makes a little noise of happy surprise, and then he wraps his arms around Kevin and doesn't let go until the ride is over.

They hold hands the entire car ride back. Morgan falls asleep; his head falls forward, bobbing with every turn of the road; his chest rises and falls peacefully. Kevin keeps his eye on the road, a hand on the steering wheel and one hand clasped around Morgan's. The smile on Morgan's face seems a little sad, but Kevin can't think why. Is it because it took him all summer to feel comfortable enough to say how he feels, to acknowledge that he does love Morgan? It's a happy thing, right?

Kevin parks the car at the beach and gently pokes Morgan awake. “Hey, we're back.”

“Oh.”

Kevin was right; Morgan does sound sad. Maybe it's just that the date is almost over.

They exit the car, and Kevin grabs his backpack, feeling around to make sure the container inside is still intact. He takes the blanket out of the trunk as well, and holds his hand out to Morgan. “One last birthday surprise.”

Morgan takes his hand and they walk onto the sand. Kevin rolls out the blanket and pulls the plastic container from his backpack. The icing melted a bit while they were at the fair, but otherwise it looks fine: a clumsily made lemon and poppy seed cake covered in white frosting.

“I made this for you,” Kevin announces.

Morgan takes the container; his eyes widen as Kevin pulls a single blue candle from his backpack. There are matches, too, and he grabs a different package by mistake looking for them, and blushes. Kevin makes sure he has the matchbook, checking for the rough texture of the striking surface before he takes it out.

He strikes a match and lights the candle, then holds the little cake aloft in front of Morgan. “Make a wish.”

“A wish.”

“Like a Request. It's a human birthday thing. Make a wish, blow out the candle, eat cake.”

Morgan closes his eyes shut. “I wish—”

Kevin places a finger to his lips quickly. “No, don't tell me. Otherwise it won't come true.”

“Okay.” Morgan shuts his eyes again.

Kevin waits, and it takes some time for Morgan to think. The little birthday candle is burning quickly to a stump, and Kevin's about to pull out another candle to give him more time, when Morgan suddenly opens his eyes and blows out the flame.

Morgan's chest is heaving, his eyes sparkle and he looks at Kevin, with a face full of hope.

“Happy early birthday, Morgan,” Kevin says softly.

Morgan moves closer, and Kevin is about to reach for the plastic cutlery in his backpack so they can eat the cake, but Morgan kisses him, surprising him with the rushed intensity of it. The kiss is desperate, hungry, and Kevin gasps when Morgan seizes him by the waist, pulling him closer.

He returns the heated kiss with enthusiasm; his heart pounds as Morgan presses him to the blanket, Morgan's body is heavy against his own. Kevin's out of breath by the time Morgan pulls away and looks up at his flushed face and shining eyes.

“Is this okay?”

“Yeah, absolutely,” Kevin replies, reaching out to stroke Morgan's jaw.

“I don't know how to, I've never, um, but I want to—I want to mate with you,” Morgan says, his face red. “Do you want to? Do you know how?” Morgan's voice wavers, betraying the confident way he's almost sitting on Kevin's lap.

Kevin thinks about the condoms and the lube he stuffed in one of the backpack this morning, just in case. “Yeah,” he says gently. “I can show you.”

The night sky is gleaming with stars, with the barest hint of moonlight from the last sliver of the waning moon, and Morgan almost seems to glow; his skin is luminous in the dancing light of the waves. Kevin is aware of the twinkling constellations and the gentle blue calm of the ocean undulating behind them, but out of all of them, Morgan is the most beautiful.

Sixteen.

Morgan meant to
make it a proper goodbye, meant to tell Kevin everything, that after today they would never see each other again, that it would never be the same. But the day was so perfect, and Kevin told him he loved him, and made that beautiful sweet cake and sat with him by the beach in the moonlight, and Morgan
wanted
.

And it was wonderful, like falling apart and being put back together, with nothing but the music of the ocean, the soft sounds of Kevin's breath and the warmth of his body under him.

Kevin fell asleep, after, and Morgan lay there in his arms, listening to his heartbeat and thinking. There was no point in
both
of them having a broken heart. Surely Kevin would think of Morgan's disappearance as coinciding with the end of the summer, and he would be sad and miss Morgan, but he'd known what he was getting into when he'd made the Request, the terms he had made with the Sea. He doesn't need to know about Morgan's specific circumstances, and Morgan can spare him whatever frustration or anger he would have had over Morgan's choice.

Morgan closed his eyes to rest, to curl up contentedly on Kevin's chest, to tangle his legs between Kevin's own, to feel warm and happy and safe.

He didn't mean to fall asleep, but there's soft light behind his eyelids now, and he opens his eyes to see the dawn's light over the horizon.

A new day. Morgan's last day.

Morgan nudges Kevin and whispers, “Kevin.”

“Mmph,” Kevin mumbles and tugs Morgan closer. His hand finds Morgan's and squeezes it fondly.

“You should get home before your parents and sister wake,” Morgan whispers, repeating Kevin's own worries about staying out late.

“Huh? Oh, yeah.” Kevin sits up and blinks wearily. His hair sticks up in all directions, and it's unbearably cute. He smiles when he sees Morgan sitting next to him, and they dress hastily, fumbling and blushing, throwing looks at each other. Oh, what Morgan would give to explore this further, to have more of Kevin laughing at him, kissing him, holding him close!

He tries to keep it together as they pack everything up, but Kevin seems to notice something's wrong.

“Hey, are you okay?”

“I'm fine,” Morgan says a little too quickly, because he sees Kevin's face fall.

“Last night—”

“Was amazing,” Morgan finishes. A smile blooms on Kevin's face, and Morgan doesn't want to bring up any of his own issues. Not now, not after a perfect day. “I'm afraid my family's party won't be nearly as fun.”
Yeah, not fun at all, just an elaborate ritual at midnight where I'll be irrevocably changed
.

“Aw, are you singing the main part or something? It's your birthday, of course. Well, I'm sure your solo will be amazing.”

“I don't even know what I'm going to do,” Morgan mumbles.

Kevin shrugs, and even though he has no idea what they're talking about, his words ring true anyway. “Just follow your heart.”

“Thank you.” Morgan leans forward for a hug, and nearly falls apart in Kevin's arms. More than Kevin will ever know, Morgan will be forever grateful for this experience. Kevin hugs him tight and finally lets him go. He helps Morgan back into the sweatshirt, and Morgan fondly recalls Kevin giving it to him on this very beach. It feels forever ago, and Morgan can't help the tears, so he pulls the hood up and yanks on the drawstrings, tightening it until it frames his face and covers his eyes.

Kevin laughs, and kisses Morgan on the nose. “You are the cutest.”

“Goodbye,” Morgan says. It would be selfish to say more, he thinks. Better to let this be a last good memory for Kevin.

Kevin kisses Morgan again, this time on the lips, and Morgan wants to make it last forever, but he can't.

“See you later!” Kevin says, walking back toward the car, as casually as if this was just another day, and he would see Morgan tomorrow.

Morgan watches him drive away, and Kevin turns around once. Morgan, alone on the beach, waves, and Kevin waves merrily back.

Morgan lets the tears fall, now that Kevin is too far away to see.

The winds have
changed, and it is officially autumn now. While the California coast remains warm, Morgan can taste the colder air soon to come as he swims back toward the beach. He sleeps for a while, but his body is restless, and there are still many hours before the decision needs to be made. Morgan still isn't sure what to do, and knows he can't meet with Kevin again since the terms of the Request are over. But it doesn't mean Morgan can't see Kevin, as long as Kevin doesn't know he's there.

“You made a decision?” Micah asks as he watches Morgan get ready to swim. “You're gonna stay with us, is that why you're getting in as much landwalking time as you can?”

“I don't know, Micah,” Morgan snaps as he dives into the water. Micah follows, swimming next to him like a shadow. “Why are you following me?”

“You can't see loverboy again. Is that where you're going? Didn't get enough mating in yesterday?”

“How would you even know what we—ugh, I'm not answer­ing that—what is your weird obsession with mating, anyway?” Morgan splashes water in Micah's face.

Micah makes a pleased sound. “Aw, little Morgan's all grown up. Proud of you, cousin. Although I can't say the same for where you're going now. You know it's over, right? What are you gonna do, go
look
at him?”

“YES!” Morgan snaps, stopping suddenly and glaring at Micah. “After tomorrow, I won't be able to—at least not in the same way! And he won't understand, and I can't bear to tell him. What if he thinks it's his fault, or he does something stupid to try to change it. It's all set in stone and terrible, no matter what I choose!”

“I'm sorry. I mean, not just for now, although I was kind of a kelp-head. I didn't get it, you know, you being a halfling. I just thought it was funny. I shouldn't have made fun of you when we were growing up. I didn't know until this summer, what it meant, you know.” His voice turns solemn. “It sucks, what you have to do. The choice, I mean.”

“Thank you.” It doesn't make up for years of teasing, but it's nice to know Micah is trying, at least.

Another shape swims toward them, and Morgan is surprised to see his mother, who rarely ventures out on her own. “Hello, boys. Best we all return to our beach; hunters were spotted out on the beaches near town today.”

“But—”

“I know you want to see Kevin, but you can't. It would violate the nature of the Request, and we can't have an angry Sea. Come along,” she says, guiding them both forward.

Micah follows, making an apologetic gesture at Morgan, who shakes his head and swims after them.

A small hunting party is getting ready to leave on the beach, and Morgan thinks it would be a good distraction, but Naida stops him. She shares a look with their mother, eyeing Morgan as if he's something fragile. “Go on ahead,” she tells the others, who slip into the waves. Naida takes Morgan aside, nuzzling at him. A flipper pats fondly at his side, and she sighs a little.

Morgan opens his mouth to speak, but she holds up the flipper. “Don't tell me what you decided,” she says.

Morgan falls silent. He doesn't know how to handle this moment—they should be reminiscing, laughing, sharing a story or something, but after his outburst with Micah he is emotionally exhausted.

Naida nudges him, and just sits silently with him like when Morgan was a pup, waddling after her in the sand, stopping to listen to the wind.

“You'll be fine,” Naida says finally. “You're smart, and resource­ful, and whatever happens, you'll still be you.”

“I'll miss you,” Morgan says. It feels childlike to admit it, but it's true.

Naida huffs, but he knows she's smiling.

There's nothing to do on the beach after Naida leaves, and Morgan is listless after an entire summer filled with activity with Kevin. The hunting party is gone, and no one is in the mood for singing, so there's nothing to do except laze about in the sun.

“Why don't you transform for a while, spend some time in your human form,” Linneth suggests.

Morgan doesn't ask why she thinks he's already chosen to stay a seal, but he follows her suggestion, slips out of his pelt and lets it dry on the rocks near some of the pups' pelts. They laugh and play in the sand, no life-changing decisions hanging over any of their heads. Morgan doesn't join them; instead he walks out to the rocks and sits there silently on his own.

Morgan closes his eyes, listens to the wind rushing past him and the waves crashing down on the shore, tastes the salt in the air. It'll be difficult, giving up this form, now that he knows what it can do, what the sensations of the human body are, how everything is so bright and colorful to his eyes. But to stay human? He would miss the way sound plays on his skin, sending him the voices of his loved ones like a comforting embrace. He would miss the endless stories of the Sea, available at a moment's notice, and the joy of rushing ahead toward the horizon, swimming aimlessly, or even snapping up fish in his jaws.

Morgan sighs. Maybe he'll just decide tomorrow on a whim. Kevin did that once, taught him about chance by flipping a coin. He doesn't have any coins, but he's sure he can figure something out.

He sits up on the rock, stares at the horizon and wonders what Kevin is doing this very moment.