“Keron Ken-ken!” screamed Dobson, vomiting out words in another language as she spit on Haworth. “Quieres saber como se hace, amigo. Mente hijo de puta.
“Forgive me, Keron Ken-ken,” Haworth told her. “I would like you to tell me what you taught Annie.”
“Poner al bebe a dormir,” the voice beckoned to Haworth. He casually responded. “Let Annie, speak. In English please, Keron Ken-Ken. Please.”
She’s smiling and moaning as if she’s about to orgasm, saying, “We put the baby to sleep.”
“And how did you do that?” Haworth asked, getting up and moving behind the camera. Dobson began laughing sadistically, toying with Haworth, as he continued prying her psyche. “How did you put the baby to sleep? Tell me! How did you put the baby to sleep!”
Dobson rolled her eyes back and closed them taking a deep breath, then she let out a deep guttural groan. When her eyes opened, the blackness of her pupils expanded into a dark hole. Dobson’s voice is hidden somewhere inside this creature as she explained, in a calm, but chilling manner.
“We made the blankets soft and fluffy. Then rolled the plastic wrap across the bottom. And gently put the little baby down on his stomach. We pulled the wrap tight around his head.” She smiled, waiting for Haworth’s reaction. “We put the heater on high and turned off the baby monitor. Then we sang a lullaby to the black night, and watched as our little angel goes to heaven.”
“
Bye, baby, Mama’s here,
Rocking her little baby so dear,
Angels guard you while you sleep,
Hush now, baby, do not peep.
Oh! Bye, little baby, bye oh,
Bye, little baby, bye oh
.”
Billings shut off the tape and slowly walked toward me carefully examining my reaction and body language. He didn’t say a word, waiting for me to speak. He wants my honest opinion. Well here goes.
“That’s one sick bitch! You want me to believe that monster is a little girl again. You cleaned her up. Like magic, she’s singing “Hallelujah” now. Innocent as a dove and can’t remember a damn thing! That’s what I’m supposed to believe! How am I even sure that is Annette Dobson. That she’s not some look alike, you want me to pawn off to the Times, so you can get your grant money or stock offering, or whatever you’re trying to sell me!”
I figured that response would shake some feathers and now it’s my turn to observe their reaction.
Billings smiled and turned his head, deferring a response to Dr. Preston who said, “It’s okay, Eddie. You have every reason to doubt us. We can conduct DNA tests, fingerprints to match the state’s file. Anything you’d like done to confirm her identity.”
Billings then added, “The only thing we ask Eddie, is you make no mention of her past to Annie. You are here to observe our work, as a third party reporter. You may videotape, but you may not interfere with or suggest anything to Annie, that would make her remember any of the previous events in her life. Are we clear with these terms? No modification will be tolerated!”
The way Billings said that, I knew he meant business. This was the football player speaking. He was dead serious, so I agreed saying, “Sure, Rev. I’m with ya. I’ll get my camera.” And for good measure I added, “I appreciate this opportunity.”
I said that to release the tension in the room, and make sure we were all on the same page. I needed their trust as much as they needed mine, and this is a golden opportunity to break my case wide open.
Then Dr. Preston smiled, tapping me on the shoulder like a friend, “We’ll reconvene in thirty minutes. Ward C on the third floor.”
“Okay. Sounds good,” I told him.
“Thank you for being honest. We appreciate your input and you being here with us,” Preston told me, as he gathered his personal belongings and headed toward the door. Damn that guy has got a way of making people like him. He puts you at ease and lulls you into buying whatever he’s doing.
I got this session recorded. My journal entry is done. I got my camera and I’m ready to go off and meet the new Annie.
VIDEO LOG/ JOURNAL ENTRY:
MONDAY DECEMBER 13, 2010 - 11:30 AM
I can’t interview or ask Annie questions, just tape the interview and make positive comments, only if asked.
WTF, I say. They got the third floor here made up like a fairy tale or some Disney movie for Annie. Lots of kids stuff, bright colors. It’s very clean and comfortable. She’s in her room with Billings and I’m waiting for permission to enter.
Okay, there’s the signal and I’m all clear to enter Disneyland.
There she is on her bed, wearing Hello Kitty pajamas with her Bible in hand. What a paradox of humanity. I’ll introduce myself and set up my camera.
“Hey sweetheart, you ready to film today?”
“Oh yes. Praise God, I’m so excited. I’m going to be a mommy tomorrow. I can’t believe it.”
Billings sat next to her touching her hand gently, “That’s right. How do you feel Annie?”
“I feel strong. God is so alive in me. I feel the Holy Spirit bringing me peace. And joy. I have so much joy!”
Smiling like a kid Billings continued, “Dr. Preston says your contractions are almost twenty minutes apart Annie. Do you feel any pain?”
“No. Not really. Just some pressure in my belly. I can feel him in there. God’s gift to me. I can’t wait to see his face. When his eyes open and he looks at me, it will be like seeing Jesus.”
Are you kidding me? I thought to myself as I finished setting up the camera and turned on the microphone.
“This is Eddie Hansen and I’m with Annie at her home. She’s going to talk to us about her life and the new baby on the way. It’s okay to record you, right Annie?”
“Okay,” she replied.
Billings continued with his playful banter like he was talking to a child. “What would you like to talk about Annie? Do you want to say something to the camera?”
She’s looked at me funny, then said, “You don’t believe I’m truly happy do you, Eddie?”
“Sure I do. You look beautiful, Annie,” I told her.
She smiled and replied, “I told you, I can tell when you are lying. You don’t even believe what you say because there’s a shield over you, like a cover. It’s dark and it won’t let you see light. It blocks light from your eyes, so they’re dark. Your eyes are the windows to your soul. But they are now dark.”
“Alright,” I said not knowing where she was headed, but I kept rolling camera as she asked, Do you feel love Eddie?”
“Sure, I said.”
“For who?”
It took me a second to think, but the answer came so naturally. “My daughter, Kennedy.”
“You said that with so much pain Eddie. But when you said it, the cover of your shield cracked a little. Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. For we know in part and we prophesy in part but when completeness comes, what is in part disappears. When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put the ways of childhood behind me. For now we see only a reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known. And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love. Do you understand?”
“Some,” I told her honestly.
“The love of a Father, Eddie. You understand a Father’s love.”
“Yes.”
“You would do anything for your little girl, your baby, wouldn’t you.”
“Yes.”
“It’s the same with your father in heaven. He does not want to see you perish. My people perish for lack of knowledge. And the devil roars about like a lions seeking those whom he may devour. Only love can crack that shield so that you see and know truth. The shield will not protect you, it will devour you,” Dobson told me.
I don’t know if it was what she said, or the way she said it, or the glow that seemed to emanate from her. But those words somehow grabbed me and I wanted to see Kennedy so bad that it choked me up. I felt like I couldn’t breathe. I had to leave the room.
I broke down. I didn’t feel like eating lunch. I told the doctors I wanted to transcribe my tapes and write before our next session. I’m having a tough time describing what I’m feeling.
In that moment, I could see the part of Annette that Kevin fell in love with. And I saw the devil she kept hidden from him and it got me mad. Jaime was the same heartless bitch, but she was killing me, instead of our kids. I was never good enough for her. I could never do enough. I never had enough to earn her love. Why did I have to earn it?
If love was kind and patient and kept no record of wrongs, why was I always wrong? Why was this love denied from me? Why did I never feel it?
That kind of love Annette described, does it even exist? If it does, maybe I’m incapable of it.
Maybe I was too busy trying to please myself, instead of being a husband and a father. The way she said it all was so effortless and flowing.
The words were pouring out of her mouth as if she wasn’t even thinking about them, but there was passion and conviction like I’ve never heard before.
I keep watching her on this tape and these words echo some place deep inside me.
“
For now we see only a reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.”
What does that mean? I’m looking in the mirror and I see myself. My eyes are dark. I look empty. What does she mean that I will know fully as I am fully known? Sometimes I do stare into that mirror, right into my eyes and it feels like I am looking into eternity. That there is a world out there beyond me. But the mirror stares back with an evil grin, laughing at my efforts to understand.
My face is mocking me. Laughing at my failure. My eyes melt into one and I feel as if I am on the outside of my body, looking through me. I see the lost years and ravages of time drawing lines on my face, like scars to remind me what I’ve lost. The years of wearing down and breaking apart that cover my skin. And the longer I stare at myself, the blurrier I become. Soon my body begins to fade into nothingness, and the mirror looks back at a blank wall, and memories and words are the only reminders of the man who once stood here. And sadness covers me like a blanket wrapped around an infant, who’s lying on his stomach barely realizing that his life is slowly disappearing into the black night.
AUDIO LOG/ JOURNAL ENTRY:
MONDAY DECEMBER 13, 2010 - 2:00 PM
For our post lunch briefing, we gathered in the conference room where a video deck was set up with a small stack of tapes and case files, spread across the table. Dr. Haworth began by opening the folder saying, “We’ve never had a case like this.” He then showed me a photo of Annette Dobson. She looked like death. Her face was contorted, her eyes black as night and her body seemed pale and frail.
Billings then said, “No exorcism is alike. Tactically each one presented us with unique challenges and varied results.”
“How many have you done?” I asked.
“In my career, six full fledged exorcisms, hundreds of deliverances,” Billing stated.
“What the hell’s the difference?” I asked.
Billings laughed, “Hell is the difference.” Even Haworth seemed to get a chuckle out of it as Billings continued, “An exorcism involves complete or perfect possession. The victims have lost all of their own power and are completely ruled by the demon or demons. An exorcism can last a few days, whereas; a deliverance may be a few minutes to a few hours. The victim is usually tormented or partially possessed, but they still have some control over their life. The victim is usually involved in some ritualistic sin or evil they can not control themselves from participating in.”
Dr. Haworth pulled out another photo of Annette as she looked today. It was completely opposite. If it weren’t for the scar above her right eye in both photos, I would have trouble identifying her.
“What’s unique about Annette’s case,” Haworth said, “Is that she been in this euphoric state for over two days. The longest we’ve seen before this was approximately twelve hours.”
“Euphoric, you mean her hyper-religious happy trip,” I told them.
With that, Dr. Preston showed me charts of Dobson’s medical test results, adding, “It’s more than that Eddie. Physically she’s stronger than she’s ever been. We’ve done conditioning tests and her body has drastically improved, even with her pregnancy. Her heart is stronger. Her hormonal levels have increased. Her red blood cell count is elevated. There’s even increased brain activity, higher electrical charges mostly in her right temporal lobe.”
“The area responsible for hallucination or paranormal activity,” I responded.
“Yes Eddie. The right temporal lobe can also activate spiritual awareness as evidenced in studies on prayer and praise,” commented Reverend Billings.
Dr. Preston then displayed Dobson’s brain scans saying, “See this Eddie. These colors. The blue is repressed area without activity and the yellow to red area measures activity in the brain, with red being the highest recorded activity. In our memory testing, this area spiked higher than she’s ever recorded.”
“Which you heard from her scripture memorization,” Billings then replied.
“Is that what she was quoting me?” I said.
“First Corinthians, chapter thirteen, love. It was her morning Bible study,” Billings added.
“So that didn’t mean anything,” I replied. “She was just parroting what she read earlier.”