Severing Sanguine: A Companion Book to The Fallocaust Series Book 2 (69 page)

“This shit again?” Mouse groaned, before turning around to face his sister. “You can tell Moros and Cypress are in shit because even the meth addicts there don’t refuse food.”

“It’s your turn to feed him. I had to try and get him to eat when he was conked out for three days,” Julia called from the couch. “I told you to pick up some of that liquid meal replacement shit.”

“It’s more expensive…” Mouse mumbled. There was a scrape of the chair before he pushed the plate near me. “Come on, you eat and I’ll help you with your math problems. You’re getting a couple numbers wrong; it might mess up your end anagram result.”

I looked at him alarmed before glancing down at my writing, every corner of the book was covered in numbers and letters and in the upper-half corner, a drawing of a crow.

“Which ones?” I said hastily, swearing at myself for getting something wrong. “Show me!”

“Eat something first.”

He reminded me of King Silas… but King Silas had always been telling me to not eat quickly. Some things were the complete opposite of how they were and other things…

I got up and walked towards the window before checking outside to make sure there were no more prints. Still no more prints, thankfully.

While I was looking out the window I could hear the other two whispering behind me. Whispering about feeding me and making sure I didn’t die because someone had been looking for me. I didn’t know why they told each other that because I knew they were looking for me.

But they put a lot of emphasis on
had
. Not sure why.

“He’s been checking out the bars… asking about someone named…” Their voices dropped and I couldn’t hear them anymore. I wasn’t interested though, they’d told me people had been looking for me. I knew they were getting closer, closer and here I was without a friend in the world.

I could have my friends back though.

When I turned around again I saw the two of them talking quietly, my black bag now resting beside them. I walked over and picked up the bag and sat down on the couch with it.

They stopped talking and I watched television with them.

“I want a stuffed animal,” I suddenly said.

There was silence around me, only the hum of the television.

“A… stuffed animal?” Mouse asked slowly.

I nodded. “One that doesn’t have a home. One like the couch that gets rained on in the greywastes. I want stuffed animals, find me big stuffed animals. I want some friends for Barry.”

Julia groaned but Mouse laughed. He seemed amused by the request but I was dead serious.

“Okay, man. If it makes you happy… I’ll bring you home a couple,” Mouse chuckled, before glancing over at his sister. “He’s a simple chimera with simple needs, isn’t he?”

“We’re lucky he’s from the greywastes… most of them look rather high maintenance,” Julia said. “As long as you eat your damn food, Pumpkin!”

I scoffed and waved my hand but when I saw she was holding a fry I took it just to make her happy. “I used to eat until I threw up in my old life. Now I can’t stand food. Oh how shit changes.” Then I remembered something. “Mouse, you need to tell me where I’ve been mathing wrong. Help me math. I was in college once, you know. But that was only to control my thoughts and my actions. They wanted to keep a better eye on me. I think they knew I was about to figure them out. Figure out their plan.”

I handed Mouse the notebook and the pen which I had tucked behind my ear at some point in time. Mouse only shook his head before bringing out an old paint-stained calculator he had in his pocket. Barry and I watched him do his calculations though occasionally I had to walk around and check the snow.

Lots of crow prints… lots of crow prints.

Strange.

“Crows do talk,” I said, glancing behind my shoulder. Mouse and Julia were both ignoring me, which was typical, after awhile they just ignored me or agreed with everything I said. They only stopped me from wandering outside because of the family being after me. “They say things to me.”

“Okay, Pumpkin,” Mouse said. “I think you’ve done enough meth today though. Maybe you should stop for the night.”

“They say…
Go on get
! And
Hello, Sanguine
. They were brought here by King Silas for me because they were my friends at Jasper’s…” I said, though as I spoke those words my mouth started to slow, because I was realizing something. “Do you think… no, they’re not spies. They spied on Jasper so they’re my friends. I don’t think they have cameras in their mouths… I should check.”

I started walking towards the door but Mouse stood up out of the corner of my eye. “Wait, Pumpkin. I finished your calculations; I don’t know what to anagram it with. Why don’t you go into your room and try and figure it out?”

Figure it out? I nodded and prepared myself another hit of meth. I brought all of my supplies into my room, Barry, my tinfoil, my glass pipe, my rocks, pen, and notebook; and I closed the door behind me to start trying to figure everything out.

I was glad I stopped smoking the opium. I was happy I found the meth. My mind was so open; everyone else was stupid but me. This had cleared all the fog and cobwebs out of my brain and now I knew what was really going on. It was amazing.

I sat down on the bed with my legs crossed; Barry was in front of me, staring at me once again with his shining black eyes. Still just a bear though, always just… always just a bear…

‘That’s up for you to decide – do you want me to come back, Sami?’

What kind of question is that? I missed Barry, and I missed Crow. Friends who told me to do bad things and told me to hurt myself were a hell of a lot better than the spies. At least these two were the devils that I knew, not the unknown forces outside my house.

“I’ll bring you back…” I mumbled. I put my hand on Barry’s head and gently petted it. “I need to hold onto the friends that I trust. Who else do I have?”

‘No one, just me and Crow. We’ve been here from the beginning. Though you haven’t been a very good friend to us.’

No, I really haven’t.

“Pumpkin!” Mouse called. I heard the door open and close and the sound of him out of breath. It was raining away all of the snow but it was still a long walk from where he worked to where we were living. “I got you a fucking present, are you awake?”

I looked down at the notebook, a fresh clean page though it had the grooves and dents of the other pages I had filled with writing. My face was tight as I looked at my anagram code, one I had spent the last three or four days trying to sort through. What it was telling me was disturbing, but my family was disturbing so maybe I shouldn’t be surprised after all.

I closed my notebook and slowly got up, my muscles ached but they still had a fire inside of them that told me to move and move a lot. Pace, walk, clean, talk. I liked to talk the most.

Several minutes later the door opened. I hadn’t even realized that my body hadn’t moved. I was still standing on my mattress staring at the notebook full of my writing and anagram solving. All my thoughts and my suspicions, about my family, about my life, about Jasper and the fact that I knew I was being watched.

Constantly watched.

I glanced over and smiled when I saw a giant rabbit stuffed animal with long legs and long arms. I grabbed it and held him out so I can examine him closely.

He looked worn and old, like he’d had a hard life. He was wearing purple overalls and a spotted shirt underneath. He also had Velcro on his paw pads though they were full of dirt and other small fibers; his paws didn’t stick together.

“What’s his name?” I asked eagerly. I put him beside Barry and stood back so I could admire them both together.

“Umm…” Mouse thought for a second. “Patches.”

I nodded my approval, still smiling. “I like him, bring me more. Do you have more?”

Mouse nodded. “Yeah, I told Julia to go get you a couple more. You’re fucking weird, you know that?” Mouse then tossed a few more baggies worth of meth. “We’re going to be running out of money in a couple weeks, man. Do you have a way of getting more?”

I picked up one of the bags and took out a small white rock. I placed it inside of the pipe, a new pipe with a little bubble on the end for easier smoking. I lit the bottom of it with my pointer finger and started moving the rock around to get the smoke going.

When I exhaled I closed my eyes, then remembering what Mouse was asking me. I shook my head. “They’re tracking me… I can’t go out. They’re watching me.” I got up and looked out the window.

I took in a sharp inhale and swore, right outside the window I saw a large crow hopping around the slush.

As soon as it saw the stream of light hitting the white snow it turned its head and looked at me.

Red eyes.

I quickly let go of the board, it smacked against the window frame making several loose paint chips fall onto the sill. I shook my head before picking up both Barry and Patches.

“No, I can’t go out…” I said, my head rapidly moving back and forth, the world spun around me. “I can’t… how many crows did you see outside? Are they talking?”

Mouse looked alarmed. He let me rush past him as I checked the other windows, feeling the terror and paranoia start to infect my internal wounds further. How a wound that was already festering and rotting could get more fetid I wasn’t sure, but it was leaking its putrid pus all inside of me.

More crows… I could see more crows.

I was in trouble, they had found me. The crows had found me.

“I just checked a few hours ago!” I exclaimed. “They found me? How long have the crows been here for?”

“Just… just this evening, they were surrounding the house when I got home,” Mouse said behind me. His voice was small, and it felt almost held back by the caution I could feel swirling around him. “I ran back out and got you the rabbit kinda hoping it would keep you calm.”

Angrily I slammed my hand against the window frame of the kitchen and kicked one of the wooden chairs, Mouse flinched. “They’re closing in on me, aren’t they?”

Mouse shook his head, before offering me a cigarette, one of the ones with silver smoke. I took it and lit it quickly but my mind was racing, speeding ahead of my logic too quickly. It couldn’t catch up.

“Okay, it’s time you start easing off of the meth, man,” Mouse said slowly. “At least enough for you to go and get more money. We’re going to be out in a few weeks and–”

“A few weeks is a few weeks away,” I said, narrowing my eyes at a small gap in the boarded up kitchen window. I could see just a sliver of the white snow on the porch. “That’s a long time away. A few weeks away. I can’t go out; they’re closing in on me.”

I heard him sigh but I ignored it. I went back into my bedroom and sat down on my bed with Barry and Patches. They looked good together, so I put them together and decided that they would be boyfriends.

Yes, they could be boyfriends. I thought I was going to have a boyfriend at one point in time but that probably would never happen now. I would never have sex. I would never touch myself. I was going to be alone for the rest of my life.

Frowning I leaned against the wall and opened up my notebook. Once again I was reminded of the code I had successfully cracked. The newest communication between Jasper and the family. As I read it over and over I could feel the tight, constricting feeling come back to my chest.

I took another inhale of the cigarette and blew the smoke over the writing, reading it over and over again, and over, and over… and over.

It wasn’t making sense like the others…

Frustrated, I snatched the newest bulletin and started reading it through, trying to double check my numbers but nothing was making sense. Mouse had even looked it over and he said the letters I had written down were correct, but there were too many leftover numbers too many…

“You forgot the photo caption,”
a female voice suddenly said.

I looked up shocked. I stared at Patches. “You’re a girl?”

“Yes.”

“Barry’s straight?”

“You’re the one that wanted us to be boyfriends not him.”

That was true. They could be brother and sister then, just like Mouse and Julia.

“You’re getting distracted, Sanguine. Check the photo caption. The picture of Elish’s press conference about the state of the rebels, who are losing support and quickly. What does the caption say?”

I looked down at the photo and saw Elish, dressed in a white cape and sporting his usual stoic expression. He had Garrett and Ellis on both sides of him and the Skyfall flag was hanging down as a backdrop.

“Elish Dekker, standing king, condemns Irontowers Rebels keeping child slaves. 1,000 Legion units to sweep Irontowers and outskirts,”
I mumbled. I decided to see if Patches was onto something. I started writing the letters down on the next page, then brought out the paint-stained calculator Mouse had let me borrow.

There are more M’s now… more S’s, there are more vowels too. A lot more I’s. I needed more I’s. I started connecting the numbers and writing them down, until finally a message to me started to form.