Sex for America: Politically Inspired Erotica (25 page)

One day in the cafeteria Rita told us her aunt Angie was hav- ing a party with some fabulous guys and she could get one or two of us invited. Angie is a legend with us. She is ten years younger than Rita’s mom and more like a fabulous cousin than an aunt. Her boyfriend drives a Lincoln Town Car for Nicholas Fratelli, the city councilman! As you can imagine, Angie and Dennis go with a very with-it, political crowd. Angie has taken two Martha Stewart entertaining seminars and the councilman himself comes to her parties.

Sherina said, “Ask Katie, she needs to meet a fabulous guy,” and everybody laughed, even me. But then Simone said she thought Rita really should invite me. We explained that the Slatterys are very strict and would never let me go to a grown-up boy-girl party even if I did know how to act. Simone’s family moved here from Manhattan, so in some ways she’s the coolest, and everyone listens to her, but she doesn’t understand how things are done in Brook- lyn and keeps needing to be filled in.

Rita said that actually the strictness wasn’t a problem be- cause we could tell the Slatterys we were sleeping over at Angie’s and just skip over the party. That would cover both of us because Rita’s mom didn’t know about the party either. Even though Rita’s mother is Angie’s sister there are lots of things she doesn’t know. But there was still the problem of my being a complete dork.

Simone said we should make it a project to get me a date with the best guy at the party. Then Sherina said they could do a make- over like on TV, using mainly Simone’s clothes and makeup and so on. I’m fatter than Simone, but she has good accessories. Simone said okay, and also that she would teach me things like kissing and touching. Simone goes both ways; maybe it’s the Manhattan thing. If a Brooklyn girl slept around she would be a ho, but Simone is not a ho. I said, no, thanks, I don’t like girls that way. Simone said that was even better, because if your first time is with somebody you’re hot for, you only think about making them like you back, and you should know what makes you feel good. But the rest said, “Eeugh,” so she dropped it.

The afternoon of the party, I wore my regular clothes to Rita’s and just brought my nightgown, toiletry kit, and clean underwear. Rita’s mom drove us to her aunt’s and visited for a while. Then, around six o’clock, Sherina, Simone, and Lena came over and we got to work. We used Angie’s roommate’s bedroom, where Rita and I were going to sleep because the roommate was staying with her boyfriend. Lena is more my size, so she brought some tops. (They said my own jeans were okay.) The group decided on a black spandex tube that we didn’t even have to iron—although it was wrinkled from being crushed in the back of a drawer, hiding from Lena’s mother—because it was so tight. I thought it was too small and made me look fat, but Simone said, no, I have great tits and need to show them off. I hadn’t known that.

Then they started with the makeup. I am very bad at makeup, besides the fact that I’m not allowed to wear anything but lipstick and blush because my (current) mother is so strict. When I do sneak eyeliner, etc., I end up smearing it and looking scary. Sim-

one had to yell at me to hold my eyes open, but she did a good job making them look big and model-y. Then she put some grease on my hair to tame the frizz. After that, Simone put one of her scarves on me. The others don’t wear scarves, but I guess that’s the Manhattan thing again. I tried it once but my foster “brother,” Kevin, the one who was burned in the fire, said, “What’s with the bib?” so I took it off. Simone made it look fashionable, though I couldn’t say what the difference was.

When I was done they made me turn around, like a model. They all whistled, then left to see a movie, which is what they had told their mothers they were going out to do, and Rita and Angie ate KFC while we put out the appetizers. They wouldn’t let me eat because my lipstick was too perfect. Angie made me a drink of juice and vodka, to relax me, but I had to use a straw.

While they were eating, Dennis came over. He knew me from before, but this time he raised his eyebrows and said hey, hey, and Angie said, don’t get any ideas, she’s fourteen.

Then the guests started coming. First it was regular guys, Dennis’s friends, but then it got quiet, like suddenly nobody could think of anything to say, and I saw that the councilman had come in with three other men. You could tell the other guys were im- portant, too, because they wore better shirts than Dennis and his friends, and also had better haircuts. I can’t do these things my- self, but I notice them, which is why I trust Simone’s taste.

The councilman was smaller and fatter than his pictures, but it was easy to see he was the most important of all. Dennis’s friends all wanted to shake his hand, and he told some joke I couldn’t hear and everybody laughed for a long time. Imagine my surprise when he came right over to Rita and me, with the three important guys

and Dennis and his friends following. He even introduced himself, as if we didn’t know who he was! Rita reminded him that she’s Angie’s niece, and he said, “Oh, right, Roberta,” and we laughed. Then he said, “And who’s this?” meaning me, and my heart beat so hard I thought it was going to shake the tube top off. Dennis said, “Not this one, Nick. The girls will be here any minute.” So they wandered off.

Someone turned up the music so loud I couldn’t hear it any- more. Then Rita’s boyfriend, Jazz, showed up. Rita isn’t allowed to see him because of a drug arrest, so I guess this was the only way they could be together, but they didn’t have to rush off and leave me with a roomful of strange men. I wondered when the other girls would get there.

I wanted to practice the listening techniques the girls had taught me, but the men were all talking to each other. Dennis was the only one I knew, so I decided to break the ice with him, even though he was off-limits dating-wise. He and some of his friends were listening to one of the important guys tell a story. I went over and stood next to him. “Hey,” he said. He put his arm around me without really looking at me.

I couldn’t really follow the story because of the loudness of the music. Some guy had tried to pick the important guy up, but he wasn’t mad even though he is not gay. I guess the gay guy was a Democrat, or even a Green, because they all thought it was pretty funny and they were happy that they had something now. One of the other important guys walked by our group, talking on a cell phone. He rolled his eyes at our important guy. Ours gave him the finger. Dennis put his drink to my lips and tipped it up so I chugged it. It tasted like soap mixed with dirt, but I figured

sharing it counted as flirting, so I just smiled. One of his friends passed him a new drink and we did it again.

The cell phone guy walked by again. He said, yeah, you love that story, Caruso. Too bad it didn’t go down like that.

Our guy, Caruso, said, “Fuck you, Flanagan. Too bad you weren’t there to make it really go down.” He looked at our group to see if we got the joke. I laughed, but more to make him feel better for having his story spoiled. It wasn’t that funny, even to someone like me, who is slow to get sex jokes. Caruso looked at us like we were morons and went off for another drink.

As soon as he was gone, Dennis took over as the important person of our group, still with his arm around me. He explained that Caruso and Flanagan hated each other, as if we couldn’t tell. “Nick and Caruso go way back,” he said. “Now Nick brings in a
media coordinator
and Mike’s stuck keeping the books. I’d be pissed, too.” One of the other regular guys asked if that meant the rumors were true about Fratelli making a run for the state senate. Dennis gave a look like, wouldn’t you like to know. Looking back, now that Fratelli is in the race, it’s exciting to think I was there when it was all happening.

Dennis let his hand slip down off my shoulder onto my left boob. I knew that was my cue to say something flirty but I was in that blank state I talked about before, where I can’t think of anything to say, and with the music and the drinks it was hard to think. Finally I said, “Simone says I have great tits,” which sounds stupid now, but at the time it felt brilliant. Dennis said, “What?” so I shouted it, and all the guys turned to look.

Dennis said, “Those aren’t real, though,” and I said, “Sure they are.” And he said, “Couldn’t be, they’re too perfect.” I said,

“Want to bet?” All of this shouting, because of the music. So Den- nis said, “Only one way to find out,” and he grabbed the left one hard, like he was trying to pop it. I bruise easily, but he was just being friendly. “Hey, they are real,” he said. So then the other guys had to feel, too, all of us laughing. Even Nick, I guess I can call him that, came over to see what the fun was about, and he had a feel, too. “Very, very nice,” he said.

That’s when Angie came out of the kitchen, looking mad. “Just joking around,” Dennis said, but she made him go into her bedroom with her and shut the door.

Nick said it looked like the girls weren’t going to show, and who wanted to head over to Diamante’s? Of course everyone said yes, so that was the end of the party. One of Dennis’s friends turned the music off and we could hear Angie yelling through the bedroom door. Nick gave a nod, and they started moving off.

Caruso asked me if I wanted to come. That’s all I needed, to get carded at a strip club. I said no, I was sleeping over tonight. He said, great, me, too. I said, no, really, Angie is Rita’s aunt. He said, yeah, she’s my aunt, too. It’s a pajama party. The other guys laughed. I forgot all the listening techniques and started telling them how Rita and I lied to our moms to get there, and about the makeover and all. The other guys said good luck to Caruso, and they left.

Even though he had a good shirt and haircut, up close Caruso was not that attractive. He was at least thirty, and he smelled like old sweat and cigarette smoke. I guess I wouldn’t have made him media coordinator, either, if that means working with media per- sonalities such as Katie Couric (not that I’ve ever smelled her, but she’s very well groomed and would think badly of Nick if he sent over a smelly coordinator).

Caruso started kissing me, and I decided it would be good practice, since I was already loosened up and all, and remembering what Simone said about starting with somebody you aren’t hot for. Then he shoved his tongue down so far I couldn’t breathe,

and he started ripping at my top. I pulled away and said, “Quit it.” He just laughed and started up again. I said it louder. “Quit it,” and he said, okay, okay, you sure acted like you wanted it, far be it from me to push myself. He said, believe me, there are plenty who do if you don’t.

I waited for him to leave and catch up with his friends, but he poured another drink and slumped down on the couch. In the background we could hear Angie’s bed banging up and down. She yelled, “Oh, God,” and Dennis was yelling something I couldn’t hear. “McGinty got lucky, anyway,” he said.

I felt bad for him. First he got stuck keeping the books, what- ever that was, then Flanagan ruined his story, and now I had hurt his feelings. “I think keeping the books is a very important posi- tion,” I said.

“Yeah, I can see you’re an expert.”

Okay, fine, I thought. “I’m going to bed now. It was nice to meet you,” I said.

“Sure, goodnight,” he said. “Don’t worry about Mike Caruso, honey. Mike Caruso always lands on his feet. Nick don’t want me, no problem. I knew a few things about that pansy Flanagan. Mike Caruso is pretty valuable property in this district.”

I wondered if that meant he was going over to the Greens, but I decided not to get into it. I went into the roommate’s bedroom and shut the door. I was unpacking my overnight case when he came in. I was sorry my attempt to cheer him up didn’t work out,

but I had no intention of starting up again. “I said I don’t want to have sex,” I told him.

Hey, he said, who said anything about sex? Just spending the night at my aunt’s house with my new friend. Nothing wrong with that, is there?

I had nothing to say to that. I didn’t want to walk in on Angie and Dennis, and there was nobody else to tell. He took his pants off. “I told you no,” I said, and he said, I don’t even want to have sex with you. You’re a dog. I’m going to sleep and I’m not putting on some pansy pajamas because some little girl doesn’t want to look at a man’s equipment. But his thing was all big so I knew he was lying.

Okay, I have to do a flashback now. Our “real” mother lived with an asshole named Ed who used to come in and bother my sister, Maura, and then me. It wasn’t real sex, just pushing up against us with our pajamas on, and me only a few times before Maura blew the whistle and got us kicked out. But it was enough so I knew he was hot for me.

I didn’t know what to do, and I wished I could have asked Sim- one, but who knew a situation like this could arise? So, I decided to just act normal. I took my overnight bag into the bathroom and changed into my nightgown, which (this is the part Sherina thinks is hilarious) had little puppies and kittens on it, and brushed my teeth and washed my hands and face, then went back to the bed. “I’m just sleeping, though,” I told him, and he said, fine, that’s all I want to do.