Sex & Sourdough (13 page)

Kevin’s breath caught as he watched Anders dart his tongue out and lick his chapped lips. Against all logic, his cock began to stir to life again, just from the mention of the word lips.

Kevin shifted and tried to sit up too. Anders squeezed the tip of his cock, openly coaxing him to get hard again.

“It doesn’t look like that when I’m limp. I was really self-conscious about it in high school. Every other guy in the locker room was all clean and perfect, and I had this big elephant trunk of skin hanging off the end of mine. There were days when I wished my parents would have gotten me cut as a baby.”

Anders shook his head, his Cheshire cat grin fixed in place. “I think it’s fucking perfect. You’re perfect. Just imagining you in a locker room is enough to make me very glad we didn’t go to high school together. I wouldn’t have been able to stop staring.”

Oh, the things Kevin would have done to him if he could have gotten him alone in his high school locker room. Most of his teenage wet dreams started with glimpses of other bodies in the communal white-tiled showers.

Kevin shook his head fast, trying to get up. “Anders, this….”

Anders tightened his grip.

Kevin curled forward, his breath coming in short pants again. “Fuck….” He arched up into Anders’s hand again.

“You made it pretty clear that wasn’t on the table,” Anders said carefully. “And I don’t blame you, since Joel and I just broke up. But there’s nothing emotional or complicated about helping a buddy relieve a bit of stress, right?”

“Stress relief?” Kevin gasped, covering Anders’s hand with his own.

“Damn. I wish I was that sensitive.” Anders grinned.

“I don’t think we can play this off as stress relief,” Kevin muttered, forcing Anders to keep his thumb still.

“Sure we can. There’s nothing wrong with two friends helping each other out. You get to unwind. I don’t feel like I need another cold shower this morning. Everybody wins. It doesn’t have to get weird.”

It was already weird. Kevin’s emotions were already too involved. Pretending he could touch Anders, that he could enjoy Anders’s hands on him, without things getting more complicated, would make everything worse. But he wanted Anders’s hands on him again. He wanted Anders’s lips on him, Anders’s body against him.

He wanted Anders.

“Stress relief,” he agreed, breathless. “But give me a minute.” He pried Anders’s fingers off of his cock. “Sensitive isn’t always a good thing.”

Anders finally let go of him and plopped back down onto the bed, smiling brightly. As soon as he settled against Kevin, Anders let his hand wander to the mess they’d made on each other. He traced small circles in the cum on Kevin’s stomach, trailing his finger over each ridge of muscle. Kevin grabbed his hand before Anders could figure out just how ticklish he was. He held Anders’s hand still against his chest.

Anders seemed to hesitate, then relaxed and set his head against Kevin’s shoulder. “Eh, I don’t think I’m feeling up to much, anyway,” he said, sounding sleepy again.

Kevin nuzzled Anders’s forehead. “At least your fever’s down.”

“Well, I feel like shit. The cough’s better, though.”

“Stay put. I’ll bring you a washcloth.”

No matter how much Kevin’s brain kept telling him he should be moving on, he couldn’t do it. He stayed with Anders in Gatlinburg for another day, to make sure Anders’s fever didn’t come back. That night he gave in to the urge to touch Anders. He stroked him slowly while Anders’s jacked him off, and then he kept stroking him until Anders came a second time before passing out with his fingers wrapped gently around Kevin’s sac. Kevin cleaned them both up with a washcloth, tucked him under the blankets again, and leaned down to place a chaste kiss on Anders’s temple. Anders was burning up again, but he looked so content in his sleep that Kevin let him be.

Kevin didn’t sleep that night. He kept staring at Anders’s red-flushed cheeks, cursing his pathetic self-control. Not only was Anders getting out of a long-term relationship, he was also so sick he wasn’t thinking clearly. Whether Anders needed the stress relief or not, Kevin felt like a dick.

Anders’s fever broke on its own that night, and by morning he insisted he was healthy enough to get back on the trail. The slow hike into Hot Springs, North Carolina was like a roller coaster. It left Anders coughing at the top of each big climb and too exhausted to do anything but fall into his sleeping bag at the end of each night. Kevin thought about just rolling out his sleeping bag inside Anders’s tent, but decided against it. They had agreed to a few moments of stress relief, and Kevin didn’t want to presume he had any right to expect more.

Anders didn’t say anything the next day, but he trailed a bit farther behind than he had before. Kevin slowed down and watched Anders for a few moments. Anders wasn’t struggling, just slowing down. That night, Anders didn’t say more than a few words to him during dinner, and he disappeared inside his tent fast.

Kevin meant to talk to him the following day, but he figured it would be easier to talk after they had a decent meal and a chance to relax.

The trail went directly into Hot Springs, following the main drag for nearly half a mile. They made it into town in the late afternoon, in time to grab gigantic cheeseburgers at a diner along the main street. Kevin enjoyed a warm cup of coffee while Anders sucked down a milkshake that made his cough worse. Kevin picked up the check, ignoring the confused look Anders shot in his direction.

“I don’t know how you can drink that,” Anders muttered. “It’s too damn hot for coffee.”

Kevin watched as another ice-cream-induced coughing fit left Anders doubled over, and then grinned.

“It’s still too hot.”

“If you say so, Butch. Is it too hot to enjoy the hot springs?”

“Hot springs? It’s not just the name of the town?”

Kevin shook his head slowly. “It’s not like hot springs out in the woods, either. They pump the water into outdoor hot tubs right along the creek. They’re outside, but they’re all fairly private. There’s even a restaurant and a spa, if you’re into that sort of thing.”

Kevin watched the flush fill Anders’s cheeks.

“I could eat again,” Anders said. “But you can keep the spa stuff. Wrapping, and waxing, and exfoliating….” He shivered. “No.”

“That’s fair.” Kevin scratched at his beard, once again grateful it concealed so much. “I don’t think they’d know what to do with me if I signed up for an exfoliating facial mask, anyway.”

Anders leaned back and shook his head. “Oh, yeah, they would know exactly what to do with you. They’d tease you. They’d flirt with you. They’d try to get you to let them wax your face instead of shaving it, and then you’d end up letting them shave it and feeling like you won even though all they did was sneak around the fact that you don’t want to shave. They’re….” Anders shivered again. “No. Just no.”

“The hot springs, then. My treat.” Kevin kept his gaze locked on Anders. “This time of year, there’s not even much of a crowd.”

Anders stirred the last bits of his milkshake with his straw, looking worried.

Kevin felt a knot in his throat. Had he really misread the situation that badly? He wasn’t quite sure what would and would not cross the ‘stress relief’ boundary they had established. If Anders was freaked out by the idea of spending a few hours alone in a hot tub with him, Kevin was definitely reading too much into things. “What?”

“I… I usually avoid hot tubs, to be honest.”

“Really? I would live in one, if I could get away with it. But if you don’t want to join me, that’s fine. There’s a campground just down the street from the spa, so….”

“It’s not that. I’m totally serious. I’m not crazy about hot tubs.”

“Whatever, Anders, it’s fine.”

“It’s true. My apartment complex has one next to each pool, but they’re always nasty. No view of the golf course is enough to make me want to soak in some of my neighbors’ bodily fluids. I mean, I know they try to keep them clean, but there are too many people….”

“One with each pool? How many pools are there?”

“Only four. But every apartment complex in Florida has at least one. There are close to two thousand people in my apartment complex, so, yeah, four pools. There are more apartments along my street too. All of them are the same, from the screened patios to the breakfast bars, and the identical fucking pastel colors. They’ve all got tennis courts, and golf courses, and clubhouses, and gyms. I can’t stand them.”

“You hate apartment complexes?”

“With a passion.”

“And hot tubs?”

“Just if they’re gross.”

“And spa treatments?”

Anders nodded. “Mostly spa employees, but the seaweed wraps are itchy.”

Kevin suspected that was bullshit, but he knew it was best to let Anders have the tactful exit he had so desperately concocted. “Okay. I think I need to surrender my ‘most neurotic hiker’ title, but okay.”

Anders sat up in his chair and rolled his eyes. “There cannot be a ‘most neurotic hiker’ title. Every single person out here would qualify.”

“If you say so.”

“And really, my neurosis is mild and harmless compared to someone like Chex Mix.”

“I didn’t know rambling about physics and philosophy was neurotic.”

“I meant that vending-machine thing.”

Kevin laughed on cue. Just as his name suggested, Chex Mix really would do anything for a packet of his favorite snack, including declaring war on a vending machine that snagged before it could drop his snack mix when they were at the Clingmans Dome overlook. He had tried hitting the Plexiglas with everything he could find to shake it loose. When that failed, he tied two long sticks together to reach up through the vending-machine door. Finally, he rocked the vending machine back and forth until it fell forward and nearly crushed him. The fall had broken the machine open enough that Chex Mix was able to retrieve his precious snack. It had also spilled everything else inside, including all the food and quarters, onto the concrete platform. Chex Mix had ignored the mess. He had grabbed the single bag he’d paid for and marched off happily, as if nothing strange had happened at all.

“Neurotic or not,” Kevin said, “that was awesome. Come on, let’s head to the campground and set up our tents. I’ll hit the hot springs alone and give you a chance to rest.”

“Campground,” he said, nodding. “But after we get cleaned up, I’ll come with you. I might not actually get in the hot tub, but I’ll hang out.”

Kevin locked his gaze on Anders’s gray eyes for a moment, wondering just what he’d said to win Anders over. He wasn’t going to make a big deal out of it. “Suit yourself. Let’s go, Butch.”

The hot tubs were amazingly private, for being outdoors. Each was surrounded by a small deck with trellis panels set up on three sides, shielding bathers from passing glances while allowing them to enjoy the natural setting.

Within twenty minutes of soaking in the relaxing mineral water, Kevin felt more like himself. His stiff joints were moving as though there was nothing wrong with him, and his muscles felt recharged. Anders spent twenty minutes getting a drink and then joined him in the hot tub after all. After just a few minutes, Kevin noticed the way the hot water seemed to melt the cares from his face too. Half an hour after climbing in, Anders was smiling and telling jokes again.

“Better?” Kevin asked, even though he could see that it was. He poked Anders in the calf with his toe. When Anders didn’t shift away, Kevin let his leg settle against Anders’s knee.

“Yeah.” Anders groaned. His head lolled to the side and his eyes slid shut. “The steam has all but made my cough vanish.”

“Glad to hear it.”

“I’m glad I read the brochure,” Anders said. “Each one is drained and sanitized after each use.” He opened his eyes and grinned up at Kevin without lifting his head.

Kevin shifted so he could look down into Anders’s eyes. “You really get grossed out by dirty hot tubs?”

“I said so, didn’t I?”

“You did, you did.” Kevin nodded. “I didn’t believe you, though. I just figured that you didn’t want to hang out.”

Anders stared at him for a long time and then splashed water over Kevin’s chest.

“Hey!” When Kevin shifted away from the splash, Anders lunged toward him, sending both of them sprawling against the side of the hot tub. Kevin steadied himself on the first thing he could reach, which was Anders’s waist.

He looked up and found Anders hovering over his lap, his knees straddling Kevin’s thighs. “Was I wrong?” Kevin asked, wrapping his fingers around Anders’s narrow hips and tugging him down.

“I sort of thought I was wrong about things,” Anders said casually, poking Kevin in the chest. “I thought maybe I had pushed things too far back in Gatlinburg.”

“Anders….” Kevin felt his heart leap as Anders settled his weight on his lap. He couldn’t help the way he bucked up, desperate to rut against Anders’s body. He knew he needed to stop, that the things he wanted to do to Anders went so far beyond “stress relief” that there would be no way to take them back.

He saw Anders’s eyes grow wide as he felt Kevin’s erection against him. “I just…. You just broke up with your ex, plus you were kind of out of it, and….” Kevin ground his cock against Anders and drew in a shaky breath. “I’m sick, Anders, not dead. I’ve wanted you since Springer Mountain. You were with someone else, and I….”

“I don’t have a fever now.”

“And you just broke up with your ex….”

Anders sighed. “I know. The last thing I want to do is use you to get over him,” he whispered. “But I want you so much it’s hard to think about anything else. I’m not looking for a rebound relationship, I’m really not, but I don’t want to pass up this chance, either.”

“I don’t do relationships, Anders. I told you that. I can’t do relationships. I can’t….”

Above him, Anders swallowed. “We don’t have to do anything you’re uncomfortable with. But you seemed okay with ‘stress relief’ back in the hotel. We can stick to that.”

Kevin almost yelped when Anders slipped his fingers inside his shorts. “Maybe we should get out of here, turn in early?” Kevin suggested.

Kevin shuddered as Anders grazed the head of his cock with his thumb. He didn’t trust himself to speak. When Anders tried to shift to the side and roll off him, Kevin pulled him down again. It would have been so easy to shift Anders’s shorts to the side, free his own cock, and slam Anders down onto him. He would rip Anders apart, taking him dry and unprepared, but, God, he wanted to do it anyway.