Sex & Sourdough (33 page)

“I suspect most of his opinion on the gay issue was shaped by your mother’s arguments. You know how she is—the right turn of phrase, the right questions, and she can reframe the issue any way she wants. And if Kevin’s going to be a part of your life, he’s going to be a part of ours. She wanted to leave no doubt about whether supporting your decision is the right thing to do, and she wanted to set up his reputation as a man of impeccable character.”

“He is a man of impeccable character. She doesn’t need to convince people he is.”

“After that mess with your stalker? Michael and his wife spread that story around to everyone in church already.”

“I’m sure she could put a positive spin on that without having to mention Kevin at all,” Anders argued.

“She could, and she has. She’s also made no secret of how offended she is that they felt the need to talk about you. I suspect—and I don’t know, because I’ll have to see how it plays out too—she’ll use the gossip from that nasty incident to help set Kevin up in the community as firmly as she can. You might as well think of it as her way of saying ‘welcome to the family’ and leave her to it.”

“It seems a bit early to take things that far, doesn’t it?”

“No. Anders, these past five years, you’ve been like a stranger, and there have been times we’ve been worried you might hurt yourself. Over this summer, something brought you back to us. After watching you two at dinner, I’m pretty sure that young man is responsible. I’m surprised you didn’t start throwing things at Cole.” He chuckled. “Hell, even I wanted to start throwing things at Cole. He was always so impressed by his own intelligence he assumed no one else in this family had any sense.”

“So Cole is….”

“Cole is your brother,” his father said, with finality. “Whatever else he might be.”

Anders bit his bottom lip to keep from saying exactly what he thought Cole was.

“So,” his father said, offering him the case file, “anything in here you feel you need to see?”

Anders shook his head immediately. “I trust him, Dad. You can shred that damn thing.”

His father smiled brightly and dropped the file in the trash. “Go save your brothers, then.” He nodded at the door.

“My brothers? I was thinking I should go save Kevin
from
them.”

His father chuckled to himself. “I doubt that will be necessary.”

K
EVIN
FOLLOWED
Michael and Aaron to the back patio. He set his
feet up on the end of the deck chair and tried to relax, despite the muffled conversation and occasional shouting trickling out the bay window twenty feet away.

Aaron and Michael glanced back at the house, then shared a hesitant look between them. They each had a beer, and Aaron held out another one for Kevin. He took it but only took a sip. “Thanks.”

Inside, the shouting stopped.

“Sure. Least I could do, considering.”

“I said it wasn’t a big deal,” Kevin said. “Has your brother Cole always—”

“Been a dick?” said Aaron, cutting him off. “Yes.” He sat down in the deck chair beside Kevin.

Michael stood at the porch rail, watching boats passing on the dark water. “What was it you said to him?” he asked.

Even in the darkness, Kevin recognized Anders’s evil grin on his brother’s face. “Nothing you need to worry about.”

It hadn’t taken a lot of thought to figure out that the names Aaron rattled off at dinner were Cole’s own lovers. Anders’s brother Cole was so far in the closet that even having an openly gay brother was probably a threat to his sense of security. The thinly veiled jealousy in his accusations had been so obvious Kevin was surprised no one else had noticed it.

Kevin stared at Aaron until the other man met his gaze. “Does anyone else know?”

Michael glanced between them, his brow furrowed.

Beside him, Aaron barked out a laugh. “Always assume our parents know absolutely everything, because between the two of them, they always do. If Anders had known, he’d have used it against Cole years ago.”

Kevin sat up. “Anders wouldn’t do that. He’s not an asshole.”

“Oh yes, he is. Cole could never push me around growing up, because I was always bigger than him. Anders was the one who had to put up with his shit when we were kids. I lost track of the number of times Cole called him a faggot and chased him into the woods. When Anders came out, Cole nearly shit himself because nothing happened. No one disowned him, no one hated him, and no one even said they were disappointed.” Aaron shrugged. “How long did it take you to spot it?”

“I started wondering about it out in the parlor,” Kevin admitted quietly. “I’ve always been pretty good at picking up on body language.”

“What the hell are you two talking about?” Michael demanded.

“Nothing you need to worry about, Michael.”

“Just tell me!”

“No.”

“Asshole,” Michael grumbled.

Aaron just laughed. “Runs in the family.”

Kevin wondered if Anders thought his brother was straight. Anders hadn’t spotted that Kevin was gay, even when he tried to spell it out for him.

Kevin looked between the brothers. He’d always been the big brother, so being on the receiving end of the overprotective attitude left him a little unsettled. Considering that he and Anders were both guys, Kevin figured he wasn’t the only one who was confused about how this was supposed to go.

“So you hike,” Aaron said slowly. “And you bake. Are you planning on going back to California?”

“No.” Kevin shook his head. “I should, but… I figured I’d hang out for a few weeks, see how things go. The only thing I was planning before I met Anders was to spend the winter in Mexico.”

“Hang out?”

“Yeah. It’s not like I can do anything else right now.”

“And why is that?” Aaron asked.

“Anders didn’t tell you?”

“I’ve been in the Persian Gulf for six months while he’s been out playing in the woods. We haven’t had time to chat.”

Kevin nodded to himself. It had become obvious, during dinner, that Anders hadn’t told anyone about Kevin except his father. It was nice of Anders to give him an easy out, since he knew talking about his disease made Kevin uncomfortable. But there wasn’t any point hiding how sick he was, since he wouldn’t even be able to make it off the porch without limping. “I went through cardiac surgery—well, two cardiac surgeries—over the last two weeks. I’m recovering quickly, but it took more of a toll than I figured it would. I was still supposed to be hiking for another month and a half, but then I got stuck in the hospital. Much as I’d love to get off my ass, I need to be able to stay on my feet for more than twenty minutes straight to even think about what I’m doing next.”

“So, you’re not necessarily planning on sticking around?”

Kevin took a deep, slow breath. “That’s a big question.”

“It’s a yes or no question,” Aaron countered.

“Anders and I met four months ago,” Kevin said carefully. “I… I don’t know what’s going to happen yet. Neither of us were really expecting to….” Kevin shook his head and grimaced. This was not a conversation he wanted to have with Anders’s brothers. It wasn’t a conversation he wanted to have with anybody except Anders himself. But these men loved Anders too, and they had every right to safeguard their brother. “I love him. My future is about as uncertain as it gets, but I love him. I get that you’re worried. I can’t promise you that I can make him happy, or even that I’ll still be alive five years from now. The only thing I can tell you is that I would never intentionally hurt him.”

“So, this heart thing…. It’s serious?”

“Yes,” Kevin said, not trying to sugarcoat things. “And I don’t need a meal ticket, just so we’re clear.”

He couldn’t deny the idea of working in a commercial bakery again excited him. Working with Anders, being able to cover Anders in as many floury handprints as he wanted, definitely held some appeal too. But he already felt like he was taking advantage of Anders enough.

“No? How’s that?”

“I’ve got enough money of my own.”

“But you don’t have a job.”

Kevin stared at the man for a long moment. “Think that through. I don’t have a job and I can still afford to live and hike. How I manage that is my own damn business, but I manage just fine.”

Kevin felt the gaze of both men on him, but he didn’t feel like he owed them any more of an explanation than that. He just took another sip of his beer.

Aaron stared at him for a long moment and then he laughed. “I guess that’s fair. Besides, I already know you’re a good guy.”

“How do you figure?”

“You can put up with Anders, and he is an ass, even if you haven’t seen it yet. You didn’t snap at Cole when he deserved it. And our mom doesn’t make uninformed decisions about anyone or anything.”

Kevin shrugged. “If you say so.”

The screen door behind them opened and then shut with a bang. “Don’t threaten my lover, Aaron,” Anders snapped.

“I was being polite,” Aaron insisted. “I even brought the man a beer.”

Anders sat down on the deck chair and grinned at him. “You can have a beer?”

Kevin nodded slowly. “I stopped the Vicodin last night. I’m really not that sore, except for when I try to climb stairs.” Kevin saw a slow smile spread across Anders’s face and wished they were alone. That smile was always his undoing.

“Ready to call it a night?” Anders asked, as if reading his mind.

Kevin was, but he was also still hungry, even after a sandwich and a full dinner.

“I know that look.” Anders grinned. “Go on. There’s half a loaf of the best sourdough bread in the world on the counter. My dad bought it just to make you feel at home, so….”

“Did he? Because I was wondering. I mean, your parents seem like folks who prefer the best of everything, and I know it’s the best there is, but…. That’s just too weird.”

“I’m sorry. My dad’s….” Anders rubbed his eyes wearily. “I’m just sorry. He’s an entitled, egotistical asshole who honestly thinks he can pry into anything he wants.”

Kevin climbed to his feet and stepped around Anders. “Whatever he is, if I get Rock Creek Sourdough out of it, I’m not going to complain.”

“Somehow, that doesn’t surprise me.” Anders chuckled.

Michael said his good-nights, and Aaron announced he was staying the night and then excused himself. Kevin wandered to the kitchen, sliced the last half loaf of sourdough bread, and then raided the fridge. He threw together two more sandwiches and wrapped them in foil to take back to the guesthouse. When he was putting the turkey and cheese back in the fridge, he saw the aerosol can of whipped cream in the refrigerator door, so he tucked it under his arm and then grabbed the sandwiches. He had been out hiking for so long he had forgotten how nice it was to have a refrigerator. He’d also been stuck without Anders for so long that Kevin wanted to lick every single inch of him once they could finally relax.

He met Anders at the back door and followed him back to the guesthouse. When they got inside, he watched Anders set his beer and Kevin’s down on the coffee table.

Kevin flexed his fingers, more out of habit than because his knuckles were stiff. Florida was definitely warmer in the fall than the mountains of New England. He slouched down into the plush leather couch, set the sandwiches down, tucked the can of whipped cream behind him, and took another small sip of his beer. As much as he liked being outside, Florida’s mosquitoes made him grateful for the state’s obsessive use of screens. Anders wandered around the guesthouse, opening windows to let the small building cool off. A soft breeze and lingering scent of roses filtered through the mesh walls. The breeze and the soft scent felt even more luxurious than the white-washed walls and polished wood of the Blankenships’ main house.

When he had finished opening windows in the bedroom, Anders collapsed onto the couch beside him and sighed. “You sure you’re okay having a beer?” Anders asked.

“I’ve had about four sips,” Kevin admitted. “And honestly, I should stop there. The wine at dinner kicked my ass. It’s not even the Vicodin. It’s the blood-pressure medication….”

“I know. I kind of like you drunk, but I know it doesn’t take much to get you there. Do you have any idea how sorry I am for everything tonight?” Anders chuckled, taking a sip of his own beer. Kevin could tell from the way his laugh was almost a giggle that he was beyond relieved. “I’m so glad that’s over. And I am so sorry.”

“For your brother? Don’t be.”

“And my dad.”

“You’re not responsible for your family, Anders. Besides, Michael and Aaron were pretty cool. They were more polite than I’d have been in the same circumstances, I can tell you that. Even their threats were polite.”

“They threatened you?” Anders laughed.

“They were nice about it. And your mother’s sweet. From everything you said about your parents, I was expecting them to be… I don’t know, kind of stuck-up. They’re great.”

“I’m still sorry…. And I can’t believe that my mom used our pastor, of all people, to defend us. I figured they asked him to show up just to remind me that I’m damned, you know?”

Kevin sat up straight and looked at Anders. He had the same goofy smile on his face that he often wore after sex. “Do you really believe that?”

“No,” Anders said after a moment. “I don’t know. Heaven would be dull as hell, anyway, so it’s not like it matters.”