Shackled (17 page)

Turning around, she walked to the door that led to the garage, opened it, and peered inside.

Her heart thudded painfully as panic swamped her. Not knowing what else to do, she ran to the kitchen.

“Hey, sweetheart—”

Bethany grabbed hold of him. “Oh, my God, Jonathan!”

He put his hands on her arms, his expression worried. “Beth, what’s wrong?”

Bethany gulped in breath. “I don’t believe it! My car’s been stolen!”

Chapter 14

“Sweetheart, relax.” Jonathan tried to slip his arms around her, but Bethany’s mind had switched to crisis mode. When she was in crisis mode, she didn’t like to be touched.

“Relax? Let me go. I’ve got to call the police. And then my insurance agent. There go my rates, damn it. I’ll need a replacement car. My God…I need to go home, I’ve got all my files there and—”

“Your car hasn’t been stolen.”

“It hasn’t…Jonathan, it’s gone!” She stepped away from him when he dropped his arms. She faced him, arms akimbo. “It’s not in the driveway, and it’s not in the garage! It has been stolen!”
Why, oh why do men never seem to get it
?

“I didn’t say your car wasn’t gone, Bethany. I said it wasn’t stolen.” Jonathan folded his arms across his chest and leaned back against the counter. The corner of his mouth turned up slightly.

Bethany couldn’t decide if it was a smile or a smirk he gave her, and for one sick moment, she was hurled back in time, to the occasions when she’d had to handle a crisis in the face of Tim’s insouciance, or his outright total glee. He’d loved it when she had to face tough shit. One time, she recalled, he’d laughed in her face, chiding, “Ha ha, you’re in deep shit now!”

Bethany pulled herself out of the past. “Well, if it’s not been stolen, then where is it?” She heard the sarcastic sneer in her voice and hated it, but it had just come out.

“It’s at a garage about five miles from here.”

Bethany realized it wasn’t a smile or a smirk on Jonathan’s face. She didn’t quite know what that expression was, but it made her belly clench.

“Why is it at a garage?” She felt stupid, because something had happened, something had changed, and she didn’t understand what was going on.

Jonathan raised both eyebrows. Oh, that glance she was able to read. He looked at her as if he agreed with her own recent self-assessment, that she was stupid.

“It’s there to get fixed.”

“But I always take my car to Milt, in the city. He knows my car. And I know him. I trust his work.”

“Good. I’m glad you have a mechanic you can trust. This garage is closer, however, and since we don’t know when we’ll be back in the city, it seemed prudent to have your car fixed there and now.”

“I was going to get it done.” Bethany felt defensive. “The last week of October. That’s when I’d scheduled it.”

“Beth, you don’t have to worry about it. I took care of it.”

“Well yes, but…where is this garage? Who is this mechanic? Have you ever—”

“Let me ask a question of my own. Do you really think I would send your car off to get fixed somewhere I didn’t know and trust?”

Bethany felt as if she’d just been slapped. That quiet tone, that hard look, finally penetrated. That sick feeling flooded her, and this time, she didn’t keep the thought to herself. “I’ve done something wrong. I’ve fucked things up, haven’t I?”

Whatever it was he saw in her face made him swear softly then reach for her. She didn’t flinch, but the shaking that had started deep inside her intensified.

“Shh.” Jonathan wrapped her in his arms and used his hands to caress her back, up and down. He warmed her, and yes, he calmed her. When she’d stopped shaking, he set her back and cupped her face.

“Sweetheart, how can you trust me so completely with your body and yet not trust me to sort the clothes for the wash? Or to get your car fixed?”

“I…” Bethany closed her mouth, not entirely certain how to answer him. Something about his question felt threatening, but she had no idea how or why she felt threatened.

“I don’t know,” she said at last. “I really don’t know.”

“You need to think about that. Remember when you felt badly about comparing Tim and me? And I told you to go ahead, that it was only natural? Well, you do need to understand one very important thing. I am not like him at all.”

“I know that!” How could he say that? Jonathan was as different from Tim as night was from day. How could he think for one minute that she would ever confuse them in her mind?

“You know it in your head,” he said, “but you don’t yet know it in your heart.”

Oh, God
. Hadn’t she just done that? Hadn’t she just reacted as if he
had
been Tim? “It’s all been so fast.” She didn’t really count it as an excuse, but she felt overwhelmed. Her world had changed so quickly. She’d been with Jonathan only days, whereas she’d lived with Tim, with the reality of living with him, for years.

“Oh, sweetheart, I know that.” Jonathan rubbed her arms, and while she might have resisted, something about the look he gave her short-circuited her intentions. When he pulled her into his arms again, she went.

“But you see, Tim’s been gone for six months, and you were the one to make the first move. This hurdle you’re facing would have been there, no matter when we’d gotten together or how quickly our relationship progressed.”

“I don’t know what to do.” She slid her arms around him and held on tight. Here she found comfort, warmth, and a solidness she’d needed and wanted all her life. What was wrong with her that she almost seemed determined to sabotage herself? “I really don’t want to fuck it up.”

“I won’t let you fuck it up, sweetheart. But that doesn’t mean I’ll give you a free pass, either, or that I won’t get pissed with you from time to time.”

“I thought it was going to be so simple, and in some ways, it has been.” She stepped back so that he could see her face, see that she meant every word. “You touch me and I melt, and I like that. I
love
that.” She stopped short of saying the words. Bethany was pretty certain she loved Jonathan, but she wanted to tell him when she wasn’t hip deep in shit and trying to get out of it.

Jonathan bent forward and gave her a light kiss. “I know you do. We’ll keep working on it. Beth, I’m not going to give up on you or quit just because this is tough or because you make a mistake. And I expect the same tenacity from you.”

She’d thought it would be simple, that she would simply take him as her master, and everything would fall into place. And while she still wanted that just as fiercely as she had when she’d stepped into Jordan’s office, she was beginning to realize that view had been more than a little naive. She also realized that, naive or not, it could become her reality. Everything could eventually fall into place, into her very own happy ever after. Only one thing prevented her from achieving that goal.

And that one thing was herself.

* * * *

The days sped by, and before Bethany knew it, more than a week had passed since her visit to Reckless Abandon. Her car came back from the mechanic, tie-rod end replaced, engine tuned, oil changed, and running like a charm. She never saw an invoice and felt only a little uncomfortable about that. On the other hand, she’d cooked a few meals and done some of the housekeeping, so she guessed it all balanced out. Once she realized that Jonathan did intend to let her do her share, she relaxed somewhat.

Bethany found her bumps in the road in the strangest places.

Two days after the car incident, she’d been immersed in her painting—this portrait of Jonathan certainly was taking longer than she’d anticipated—and the man announced that, rather than tear her away from her work, he’d run to the grocery store on his own.

“Shop often, do you?” she’d asked.

“Usually, Grace handles that for me, and she will again when she resumes her two-days-a-week schedule here. But yes, I’ve managed the task a time or two. And I can report that, so far, there have been no fatalities.”

Damned if she hadn’t been tempted to make a list for him, even knowing that he knew she was struggling not to. The look he gave her certainly told her he was well aware of her desire to do so. It had taken everything in her to tamp down that urge and simply say, “Okay. Have fun.”

“I’ll be back in an hour, give or take. You have fun, too.”

When he’d returned, he brought her a single rose. Her eyes tracked to that flower, which she’d set in a bud vase and placed on the windowsill in her studio. Thanks to the chemicals she’d put in the water, it still looked fresh.

She’d angled her easel so that her canvas wasn’t visible from the door. Jonathan hadn’t asked to see what she was working on. All things considered, that surprised her. She was beginning to appreciate that when she’d gone to Jordan, she really hadn’t understood what it was she’d been asking for. What she thought she’d known about the D/s lifestyle was absolutely nothing compared to the nuts-and-bolts, day-to-day reality of living it.

Bethany sensed Jonathan’s presence and looked up.

God, he’s so gorgeous
. Dressed in jeans and a casual pullover with his sleeves pushed up, lounging against the doorway with his arms folded across his chest, he simply made her heart race and her mouth water.

“Come, walk with me.”

That was her master’s voice. Without hesitation, she set her brush down into the jar of turpentine. “Of course. I’ll just get a sweater.”

* * * *

“It’s Friday, and I was wondering if you’d like to go to the club tonight,” Jonathan said.

They’d taken their usual trail through the bush behind Jonathan’s house. She’d come to enjoy these walks as much for the scent and sounds of the woods as for having her hand in Jonathan’s.

She turned to look at him. “I’ll do anything you want me to do, of course.”

Jonathan grinned. “Well, now.” Then he brought her hand up to his lips and kissed it. “Remember that informed consent is one of our tenets. So I’m going to propose something to you here, instead of in the bedroom just before I drink your sweet juices from your cunt, when you might be helpless to deny me anything.”

“Oh my, that got those juices flowing.” Bethany had never indulged in verbal foreplay until this man came into her life. She had to admit, she liked it. A lot.

“You told me once, not long ago, that you’d enjoy having two cocks inside you at the same time. In order for that to happen, we have to bring another man into our family, as it were. I have someone in mind. He’s also a Dom, of course, a man I’ve known well for years. We’ll meet him tonight at Reckless Abandon. ”

Jonathan turned to her then and cupped her face. He laid his lips on hers, and Bethany sank into his kiss. His flavor intoxicated her. His heat warmed her. She reached up and held on to his wrists and returned his kiss with total abandon.

He eased back slightly and ran one thumb across her lips. “I like the kink of this lifestyle, sweetheart. And I want you to have the chance to experience anything sexually that you’re willing to try.”

“I love you.” She hadn’t known she was going to say the words, but they emerged, and the look of pleasure on Jonathan’s face thrilled her.

“I love you, too, Bethany. I have for a long time.” He kissed her again, a light touch. “If you think this will damage that, I can tell you that it won’t for me, but you can say no. Nothing happens without your consent. Or, you can say yes.”

“I love you, and I want to please you. And I do want to sample experiences I’ve never tried.” She felt her face blush and wondered when that tendency was going to end. “I’ve had the odd fantasy, off and on in my life, about two men. What woman hasn’t? But since you asked me, I’ve had that thought more and more often. Thinking about it has made me hot.”

“Then we’ll go to the club tonight. Jordan can see that you’re faring well, and we can meet the man who’ll join us.”

“Does this man know…”

“That he’s going to be our third? Yes, of course. We’ve indulged in a few ménages in the past, he and I. That’s how I know I want to share that experience with you. This man was one of my mentors at Reckless Abandon.”

“One of your mentors? You had another?”

“Jordan, of course.”

“Oh. Um, have you…oh, dear.” Bethany thought she’d come a long way, but at the moment, words failed her.